Fragments - Cari'ssi'mi 7
by Joking611
Summary: Shepard and Liara's relationship continues to evolve, even as they attempt to navigate a galaxy where Saren has been defeated, but few are willing to accept the Reapers as a threat.
1. Skyball

Just to reassure everyone - yes, there is a deliberate break in continuity at the beginning.

If you're coming to this chapter immediately after chapter 9 of Connections, you're fine, and you're in the right place.

If you're new to Sarah and Liara's narrative, this is the 7th story of the _Cari'ssi'mi_ series.

Thank you for reading!

* * *

The sun was hot on her skin.

It was truly a beautiful day. The air was warm and deliciously humid, with exactly the right hint of breeze. There was just enough moisture in the air to keep her from feeling too dry from so much running, while not being so cloying that her crest had difficulty radiating away any heat she built up.

She had been doing very well, one of her best showings all season. There were only minutes left in in the fifth period, and with only one more period to go the coach had yet to rotate her out.

She had never expected something like this could happen to her. Even now, after she had progressed so far, she still found it difficult to believe. She had never even played before coming to Serrice, had never expected to play _at_ Serrice.

She glanced back at Carvkae, her anchor, running a few steps behind her. She was the one who had started all this, by torturing her in the quinrangle. Carvkae had just become a junior at the time, and she had been showing off that day. The muscular maiden had started by holding a skyball in a biotic hold and daring other students to try to get it away from her. When none succeeded, she started assailing some of the spectating students with the skyball, smacking them with it and biotically pulling it back before the unfortunate student could seize it.

Carvkae had assembled quite an audience by the time Liara had arrived. Other students were cheering, chanting, inciting Carvkae to continue, to attempt more outlandish maneuvers at the expense of any unlucky victims she selected. Liara had just rolled her eyes. She had no time for this, no interest in such juvenile behavior. Her only immediate concern was that this wonton display was between her and the library. All she wanted to do was cross the Quin in peace so she would get back to studying.

It was with that mindset, that annoyance in her stance and on her face that she broke through the inner ring of spectators. It was there, with her armload of data pads and exasperated expression that she first saw Carvkae.

Carvkae responded first, with a powerful biotic pitch, firing the skyball directly at the smaller maiden. If anything, Liara acted even faster, dropping her pads even as Carvkae had made eye contact with her. The ball sped towards her, accelerating en route under the massive biotic thrust from Carvkae. The crowd roared as Liara brought up her hands as if to block...

And caught it.

The crowd fell silent. This hadn't been the first time Carvkae had held one her her little demonstrations. Those unlucky enough to draw her attention were fortunate if they escaped with only one bruise. Such occurrences were something the university administration had proven willing to overlook when it happened by the hands of the best midfield anchor Serrice had seen in over a century. No one had ever risen to meet Carvkae's challenge. Certainly never a bookish, nerdy looking maiden dressed in the style of someone 300 years older than her.

Carvkae's countenance hardened. She advanced a pair of steps toward Liara, expecting the maiden to return the ball, or perhaps just drop it and flee. Liara stood her ground. As those few who knew her could have told Carvkae, Liara was easy to underestimate. The young maiden may not be large, she may not be loud, but she was tenacious. Some might say that she could be tenacious to the point of being her own undoing.

When Carvkae saw that she couldn't intimate Liara into returning the tool of her assault, she instead prepared her biotics to yank it away. She let her biotics crackle along her arms, showing off, demonstrating their power to Liara. Liara didn't flare her biotics in return. She wasn't foolish enough for that. She was well aware that had she attempted to hold the ball biotically, the resulting explosion when their powers combined could have thrown her halfway across the Quin.

Instead she was ready then Carvkae's biotics grabbed the ball and tried to pull it away from her. Liara staggered half a step forward, but held the ball as well as her dignity. Stalemate. Liara's eyes were shining with challenge when Carvkae prepared herself to try again. This time there was no gaudy display of power, no garish light show. Dark energy barely whisped around Carvkae's arms as she built up her power, as she saved everything she could for the pull itself. When her power finally tore itself free from her arms, rushing across the distance to the ball, the older maiden felt a surge of victory as she sensed the ball vaulting skyward.

Carvkae turned to her audience, ready to bathe in their accolades. She found her fellow students looking upward, open mouthed.

When Carvkae turned to follow their gaze, instead of seeing the skyball falling freely to the ground, it was sinking slowly, _still in the arms of the annoying maiden_! Liara had never released the orb, even as she was catapulted into the air. She now landed lightly on her feet, still holding the skyball.

Liara herself was astounded that she hadn't let go, even though she knew why she hadn't. The easiest way to manipulate Liara into doing something was to inform her that she was incapable of it, or otherwise try to force her not to. The look on the other student's face, the way that she had tried to dominate her, was something that Liara was unable to allow to pass unchallenged. Liara was quiet and restrained, easy to overlook. She might never deliberately provoke another, but she also knew the dangers of not standing up for herself when confronted.

At this point Liara was willing to consider her point made. She would release the ball to Carvkae, having made it clear that she was doing so of her own free will, on her own terms. She had not done so because she had been intimidated or bullied. However, even before she could do so much as open her hands, Carvkae was upon her.

The larger maiden grabbed her by the wrist, the purple hand dwarfing Liara's own. Even as she looked down at Liara, her eyes were wild, her tone almost frantic. "Who are you? Where do you play?"

"Sorry?" Liara was confused by the unexpected line of questioning.

"Where are you from? Where have you played? Are you planning to go to school here?"

Liara straightened herself to her full height, still dwarfed by the larger Asari. "I have not 'played' anywhere, and I already attend the university. In fact, I am nearing the end of my third year."

Carvkae looked thoughtful. "Hmm... still a freshman. And you've never played?"

Liara equivocated. "At home, with family. Never on a team."

"Must be some family. Any more at home like you?"

"I am an only child." Nothing unusual about that, at least.

"Come on then." The larger maiden set a brisk pace towards the athletic compound dragging the resistant freshman behind her.

Liara tried to break free. If she was even remotely inconveniencing the larger Asari, she gave no sign. "Let me go! Where are you taking me? What about my studies?"

Carvkae called back over her shoulder, "Someone pick up her stuff, and bring it to Coach Maeor's office!" Considering the only possible objection solved, she increased her pace.

The larger maiden radiated excitement as she looked back at Liara, who was struggling to stay on her feet as she was dragged along like a toy. "I'm Carvkae. What's your name?"

Liara allowed an angry glare to be her reply as she struggled to keep her footing.

Despite Liara's lack of response, Carvkae kept a rapid fire dialog. "What you did back there was incredible. No one's ever been able to hold onto the ball when I have time to brace myself. You're so tiny! I didn't even realize I'd thrown you! You're going to make a fabulous midwing. Are you _sure_ you've never played? Maybe the municipal league?" She shook her head. "No, you couldn't have. I know everyone in Serrice who would ever have a chance of making the team. You'd stand out among the dregs on the muni teams." She looked over her shoulder, "Are you even from Serrice? Maybe Dassus or Kendra Ocean? Lots of good players have come out of Kendra. Esuulna herself came from Kendra. Wait, that was an _Armali_ accent wasn't it? You're from Armali? They never make the playoffs!." For the first time doubt crossed her face. "No wonder you came to Serrice," she continued, completely missing the point that Liara had never even been to a skyball game, let alone tried out for the team. "Your talent would be wasted in Armali! You're going to learn so much from Coach Maeor! She was the very first..."

Liara never heard what Coach Maeor had been the first to do. Carvkae's discourse was cut short by their arrival at the athletic compound. Carvkae crashed through the double doors, and continued her brisk pace down the wide hall, finally turning down a passageway labeled "Administration".

The last door was larger than the others, made of knotted zelana wood, embossed with Maeor's name. Carvkae threw the door open without breaking stride, and pulled Liara around in front of her so hard that the smaller maiden had to stop herself against the coach's desk.

"Coach!" Carvkae exclaimed, "I found someone to replace Ralith!"

The matriarch behind the desk had never even looked up from her work, obviously used to such exuberance from her athletes. "Hello Carvkae. Just yesterday you were complaining that no one could ever replace Ralith, and that we might as well give up on the season."

"That was before I met..." Carvkae hesitated. "What _is_ your name?"

"Liara," replied Liara in a quiet voice, already planning the fastest way to escape this surreal situation.

"That was before I met Liara!" concluded Carvkae victoriously.

That exchange had finally piqued the matriarch's interest. There was obviously a story here, albeit most likely not one that she was going to want to hear.

She looked the small maiden over. Liara had pushed back from the desk. Her chest was heaving, and she was standing with her back rigidly straight, chin out, eyes defiant but shifty. _'Goddess, the poor thing is obviously terrified. Carvkae, what have you done now?'_ she wondered.

Maeor decided to give this Liara a moment to calm down and compose herself. She sat back in her chair and steepled her fingers. She looked beyond the smaller maiden and addressed her star anchor. "What's going on here? Why did you just practically throw one of your fellow students at me?"

"That's exactly it coach!" replied Carvkae, missing the point of Maeor's tone and demeanor completely. "I did throw her! I sent her nearly 40 meters* straight up! She was completely unprepared, but she still never let go of the ball!"

Maeor closed her eyes for a moment. Sometimes it seemed certain athletes were almost aggressively ignorant of social norms. She slowly addressed the anchor. "Carvkae, what in the world make you think it was acceptable to throw one of your classmates?"

"She wouldn't let go of my ball!"

Maeor cocked her head as she turned to Liara. "How did you get her ball?"

"Matriarch, she tried to hit me with it."

And now back to Carvkae. "You _tried_ to hit her with it?"

"Exactly! I gave it everything I had! It should have blown her out of her boots, but _she caught it_!" Carvkae was still caught up in the result of the altercation, giving no thought to the fact that she was incriminating herself.

Maeor sighed. "Carvkae could you please go wait in the training center? I would like to talk to your classmate."

"Yes Coach!" Carvkae turned and practically sprinted from the room, radiating joy that she had apparently identified a replacement teammate for the one she'd recently lost to an Eclipse recruiter.

Maeor focused her attention on Liara. The maiden was obviously more at ease with Carvkae out of her proximity, and met the matriarch's gaze unflinchingly.

"Are you all right?"

The maiden's tone was cold. "I am fine Matriarch, given that in the last fifteen minutes I've been both assaulted and brought here against my will."

Maeor took a deep breath. "I'm sorry about that. Carvkae has a certain eagerness about her."

"She should be expelled!"

"Perhaps. She's under a lot of pressure. She's expected to lead Serrice to our first championship in five decades, and a significant part of her strategy to do so quit the team a few weeks ago."

"That is not my problem Matriarch. Nor does it give her the right to try to throw me halfway across the Quin."

"You're right, of course."

"You will take action then?"

"I'd like to talk about you first, if I may... Liara, isn't it?"

Liara looked nervous at the change in the conversation. "Yes, Matriarch."

Maeor smiled to herself, _'So formal!'_ The matriarch decided to act on a hunch. _'Let us see where this takes us.'_ She stood and brought her hands together. "I am Matriarch Maeor Iallina," she began in High Attena, "I greet you Maiden Liara..."

Liara blew out the breath she was holding. _'Nothing I can do now.'_ "T'Soni, Matriarch," she replied in the same stilted dialect. "I am Liara T'Soni, and I am honored to accept your greeting, Matriarch Maeor." Liara performed _lidifemea_ , and then looked down at her boots, waiting for what would happen next.

"Enough of that then." She sat back down as she smiled at the maiden. "I can't remember the last time I had a student respond with the _affamen_ upon a first meeting. Usually new students are just back from a stint as mercenaries or working in the hospitality trade," Maeor used a polite euphemism. "I'm lucky if I can get them to string a coherent sentence together until their fifth or sixth year." She peered at the maiden. "You _are_ a student at the university, yes?"

"I am, Matriarch. I am just shy of completing my third year." Liara still didn't look up.

 _'Nine years to go, if Carvkae actually has her wits about her, unless...'_ "I didn't realize that there were any T'Sonis in Serrice."

Liara sighed. "I am not from Serrice, Matriarch. I come from Armali."

Maeor was genuinely surprised. " _Armali_? You're _Benezia's_ daughter? What are you doing in Serrice? Not to run down my own alma mater, but the university at Armali has a business program that is far superior to the one here in Serrice," She paused, not understanding the situation. "Surely your mother could have intervened on your behalf to get you into Armali, no matter what your test scores."

Offense showed both on Liara's face and in her voice. "I am not attending the College of Social Sciences, Matriarch. I'm enrolled in the Sulilta College of Archaeology."

 _'At least 30 more years,'_ thought Maeor. "You're on a doctoral track then? The Archaeology Department doesn't admit applicants whose final objective is an undergraduate or master's degree." _'There's more to this maiden than meets the eye. The competition for admittance into Sulilta's department is fierce.'_

"Yes, Matriarch. I am on the track for a doctorate in xenoarchaeology." Liara's earlier challenging tone softened, but had not left her entirely.

"At least now I understand why you're at Serrice. Doctor Sulilta is a leader in her field. You're what, barely one hundred? Did Benezia have to offer an endowment?"

Anger again flashed in Liara's eyes as she was unable to contain herself no longer. "My mother did not have to _bribe_ Doctor Sulilta to gain my acceptance into the program, Matriarch! My test scores are exemplary! I have a full scholarship, and in addition to performing clerical work for Doctor Sulilta, she has taken me into the field over both summers since I enrolled!" She paused before continuing in a softer tone, "And I am 49."

 _'She's on her own and she's practically a baby. I wonder if she knows what she's revealing,'_ thought Maeor. "You're here on a scholarship? At 49?"

"I am, Matriarch." Liara's eyes belied her indignation at the matriarch's incredulous response.

"And you're clerking for Sulilta? And not going home over the summers?"

"That... is correct, Matriarch." Liara knew that she was missing something in the matriarch's line of questioning, but she wasn't certain what.

"May I assume then that Lady Benezia does not approve of your career path?"

Liara briefly closed her eyes. _'Well, now I know.'_ "She does not. My mother would have preferred that I either follow her into politics or perhaps economics." _'Let the matriarch make of that what she will,'_ thought Liara. _'It is no more than the truth.'_

Maeor smiled again as she stood up. "Would you like to take a walk with me Liara?"

"I need to get back to my studies..." started the maiden.

"I promise not to keep you, Liara. I think we can help each other." The matriarch walked across her office to a door that led outside. She opened it, and held it while looking expectantly at Liara. "Coming?"

"Yes, Matriarch." Liara stood to follow Maeor and was not surprised to discover that the coach's other door opened onto the skyball practice field.

The pair walked out onto the field in silence. The warm air of spring just starting to cool in the late afternoon.

"Do you know much about skyball, Liara?"

"I am of course familiar with the game, Matriarch."

Maeor chuckled. "It has become our planetary pastime, hasn't it? Carvkae seems to think that you have a great deal of aptitude for it."

"She only thinks that because I refused to allow her to intimidate me."

"That's quite a statement you know. She can be very intimidating, both on and off the field. She seemed to take quite the liking to you though. In fact, I can see her watching us through the windows."

Liara refused to turn around to look. "I am not interested in playing skyball, Matriarch."

"I haven't asked you to."

"Then why am I here?"

"Carvkae said you caught the skyball when she threw it at you."

"I did, Matriarch."

"Do you think that's at all unusual? I do. Carvkae has a very powerful pitch."

Liara was silent for a few moments. "I have had training, Matriarch."

"In skyball? That seems odd for a member of a Great House."

" _Deproelior_."

Maeor's expression showed her surprise. " _Deproelior_? Really? What level have you reached?"

"Eleventh."

"Impressive. Did your mother expect that you would spend time as a commando?"

"She expected that I would be able to defend myself."

"Benezia does follow all the traditional forms, doesn't she?"

Liara chose not to answer, as they continued to make another turn around the field.

They walked in silence for a time, and Parnitha was almost to the horizon when the matriarch continued. "How many physical education requirements have you met Liara?"

"None, Matriarch."

"Why not?"

"I am holding them in reserve, Matriarch. They seem an appropriate fallback for when I am unable to secure classes required by my major, or perhaps if Doctor Sulilta doesn't need me at a dig site over a summer."

"You're living on campus?"

"Tuition, books, and lab materials are included under the terms of my scholarship. So is housing and food."

"Housing and food wouldn't be covered over the summer. Nor are incidentals and discretionary funds provided by an academic scholarship. That's likely another reason that you're willing to volunteer for summer work."

"It is a privilege to go into the field with Doctor Sulilta."

"I'm sure. I'm also sure that you have to get creative financially if I'm correct in my suspicion that you aren't receiving any support from home."

The matriarch took Liara's return to silence as confirmation.

"What would you think about an additional scholarship? An athletic scholarship in addition to your academic one?

"I would be unwilling to risk my perfect marks for a sport, Matriarch. Even if it could assist me financially."

"You shouldn't have to risk anything. Playing on a university team will meet your physical education requirements, which you're already behind on. That's some time and credit hours taken care of. The additional funds provided should preclude the need of having to work in the Archaeology Department to supplement your academic scholarship. That's more time freed for studying. You'll still be able to accompany Doctor Sulilta over the summers if you and she desire."

"You make the assumption that I will have some degree of success if I choose to play."

"Well, I wouldn't be able to keep you on a scholarship if you're too poor a player. Still, based on Carvkae's description I can commit to you that I will provide a stipend and academic credit, even if you only come out and practice with the squad throughout your undergraduate study."

Liara thought about the offer. Normally she would dismiss it out of hand, but there was a certain appeal to the scenario Matriarch Maeor described. Liara was mildly embarrassed about her financial status, and suspected that Doctor Sulilta gave her clerical work to do as much out of pity as actual need. She _did_ need to meet her physical education requirements. Having a little spending money wouldn't hurt either. She didn't need much, but she _had_ been wishing she could afford a new omni-tool...

She looked around with a start. Although the matriarch had stopped, Liara had kept walking, lost in thought as she considered the offer. She felt herself blushing all the way to her crest as she turned and walked back to Maeor.

That was how that the next time Shiala had come to Serrice and met her for lunch, the matron was holding a holo of the embarrassed maiden from the team roster's photo shoot. Liara had been holding a skyball under one arm, dressed in the Serrice yellow tank top and shorts, wearing a smile she hadn't felt. Shiala promised to come to every game she could, but made no mention of any reaction back at the estate.

 _'Oh well',_ Liara considered the memory as she continued her sprint across midfield, _'At least the uniform is yellow. If I had gone to school in Armali, they would be blue and I would look ridiculous.'_ So completely had her perception changed that she never considered that if she had gone to school in Armali, the likelihood was near zero that should have been on the skyball team.

The Majesa sweeper had launched the ball in a high arc over the field. If it made it to the ground, it was going to come down just on the Majesa side of the midfield line where the Majesa striker was ready for it. Both Serrice guards were out of position. That was all right. Midfield was _Liara's_. As the midwing, fully 50% of the field was her position, the quarterwing and fullwing being restricted to the forward and rear quarters for the field respectively.

The ball had just reached the apex of the arc when Liara threw her arms up into the air, signaling to her anchor that she was ready. Carvkae responded instantly, enveloping Liara in her biotics, and catapulting her skyward where she caught the ball before it had fallen even 2 meters. Liara spun herself in the air, building momentum that she imparted to the ball as she fired it to a point directly in front of the Serrice forward, placing her in scoring position.

The forward had just begun to advance on the Majesa oval, using a combination of footwork and biotics (only wings could use their hands, and even then only when in the air) when out of nowhere an explosion rocked the Serrice side of the arena.

Liara jerked her head around at the sound, even as the lack of focus made her land awkwardly. There was a _hole_ blown in the stands. Members of the crowd were screaming, with some people running away and others running towards the commotion.

Liara was one of the latter. She'd barely made it thirty meters when the screams intensified, and she saw _Geth_ pouring out of the hole. The Geth were shooting into the crowd, killing and wounding hundreds of Asari. Many fought back with biotics, but the average citizen was no match for a fully armed Geth.

Off to her left, Liara saw that someone in the crowd was armed. Pistol fire was interspersed with biotics as someone was attacking the Geth, trying to create a hole in the attacking line for the crowd to escape through.

Liara ran towards the shooter, thinking that perhaps she could assist. As she reached the stands and started up, she realized the recognized the gunner. _'Shepard! Thank the Goddess!'_ She redoubled her efforts to climb to join Shepard's position halfway up the stands.

"Liara!" Shepard's yell caught her by surprise. The Human was still at least 20 meters away, but looking past her. Suddenly the left side of her torso was engulfed in agony. She spun around to see the Geth trooper that had grazed her with an almost miss. She used her biotics to blow it all the way down to the field, and turned back to Shepard who was coming down to her.

She was finding it challenging to climb, the pain difficult to overcome. Where was Shepard? She couldn't see her. She took a deep breath to yell and the the pain intensified like a spike had been driven into her side. Her vision swam.

Her left hand flew to her side as she sat up in the bed. The pain was sharp, but fading quickly. She looked down at her hand, expecting it to be soaked in purple blood, and was shocked to see that it wasn't...

Blue. It wasn't blue.

Sarah's world spun as she adjusted. _'I'm Sarah Shepard. I'm Sarah Shepard.'_ She looked around. She was in a hospital bed. It was obviously night, with the lights dim. The area under her hand was heavily bandaged. _'I must have actually cracked those ribs this time,'_ she thought, remembering the pain. She looked to her right, and saw that she was being given some intravenous treatment regimen. Just beyond the medical monitors and other equipment was Liara, asleep in a chair. _'Thank the Goddess,'_ she thought ironically.

The maiden didn't look comfortable, curled into a cramped position. A dramatic amount of eye movement was visible under the maiden's closed lids.

"Liara," Shepard called out quietly. Sarah had some idea as to the nature of the young doctor's nightmare. When the fitful Asari didn't wake, she tried again, louder this time. "Liara!"

"Shepard!" The scientist woke with a start. Liara was at Sarah's side in an instant, holding her hand and running her fingers through Shepard's bangs. "You're awake! You're all right!" Tears were streaming down her blue cheeks even as the leaned in for a brief kiss.

"I think so. Looks like I took some damage though. How long was I out? Where is..."

Just as Shepard was about to ask Liara about the status of the Normandy and her crew, she was interrupted by the arrival of a Turian nurse.

"Enough of that now, Commander. You need to get more rest." He walked over to the medication controls. "You two can catch up in the morning. Now that you're able to wake up on your own, I'm going to sedate you right back to sleep for the time being - doctor's orders." He turned back to the bed. "Dr. Chakwas is attending. I'll let her know that you woke up, and she'll be here to evaluate you in the morning. Goodnight Commander." The nurse then asked Liara if she needed anything. When the Asari responded in the negative, the nurse proceeded to leave the room, closing the door behind him.

Shepard could already feel her eyelids getting heavy. She looked up at Liara dreamily. "See you soon?"

"I am not going anywhere Shepard."

Sarah laughed, even as consciousness was slipping away. "Shiala was right."

"Oh?"

"You were a fantastic skyball player." She smiled at the memory as she was falling asleep.

The last thing she heard was "Wait, what?"

* * *

*The Asari haven't met humans yet, but we'll go ahead and translate units of measurement anyway.

A/N: Assumptions here include:  
FemShep/Liara (Finally)  
End of ME1 - after the Battle of the Citadel, and this is the 7th story of the _Cari'ssi'mi_ series (Sorry, it probably makes sense to at least read Obligations through Connections first)

Shepard is:  
Colonist / Vanguard / War Hero

As always, feedback is welcome and desired.


	2. Breakfast

I've been reminded by some of the questions I've received that there are more callbacks to prior chapters than usual.

This is the 31st chapter in the Cari'ssi'mi series. If you haven't read the others, some of the assumptions in Fragments will be a little confusing.

Thank you for reading!

* * *

Liara sighed as she shifted back and forth in her struggle to make herself comfortable. The hospital room had become distressingly familiar to her, and with Shepard showing signs of recovery, she was impatient to put it behind them. She forced her eyes closed as she again resisted the urge to pick up a pad to start working. There were so many things to do! They had only just begun to prepare for the Reaper invasion, and with every step taken it only became more clear how far they had to go to be able to withstand the coming onslaught. She yearned for a distraction from the sensation of confinement that was just one more element wearing on her, adding to her discomfiture. As she tossed one more time, she was certain that she would be unable to go back to sleep and get the rest she so desperately needed.

It wasn't that the chair at Shepard's bedside wasn't conducive to sleep (it wasn't) nor that she wasn't tired (she was).

She was exhausted, in fact. This was her third night at the spectre's side since Sovereign's attack, and she'd slept poorly during each of them. Her worry for the commander keeping her unable to relax, relegating her to fitful snatches of slumber. Now that Shepard had finally awakened, however briefly, she _should_ be able to rest easier.

However, recent events left her with new anxieties filling her mind. What did Shepard mean when she claimed that Liara was a "fantastic skyball player?" Before the spectre's disclosure, Liara would have stated with utter certainty that Shepard couldn't have accessed any of her memories during their melds. Liara had yet to be comfortable enough to fully lower the barriers of privacy in her mind to Shepard, habits ingrained into her from a young age. Such reflexive access fell into the range of intimacies one might expect from bondmates of decades, if not centuries. Liara was willing to concede that her relationship with Shepard had brought out such thoughts in her for the first time, but even if Shepard was her future bondmate, that day was undoubtably some distance in the couple's future.

Liara had no doubt that she would eventually be as open to Shepard as Shepard was to her, but it would take time to alter patterns of behavior that were built over the entirety of her young life. For Shepard to have accessed her memories anyway spoke to a level of mental strength and ability that few Asari should be capable of, let alone a Human such as Shepard. Liara would have noticed if Shepard had such ability, and if she had used it during their melds. Liara had been trained by matriarchs, after all. She knew her mind well, and should have been very aware had Shepard been accessing her thoughts and memories beyond what Liara had so far chosen to share.

Still, there was the offhand way the spectre had made the comment, just as she had been falling back to sleep. Perhaps Shepard had only been dreaming? For some reason that idea left Liara with even more unease than before.

Liara was still trying to understand her new apprehension when suddenly she jolted awake. The irony of falling asleep while thinking about dreams was not lost on her. She sat up slowly, blinking in the in the low light, and found herself staring into the eyes of Teseka.

"My apologies for the earliness of the hour, Peeress," whispered the commando. "Admiral Hackett of the Systems Alliance wishes to speak to you. I can inform him that you are indisposed if you prefer."

Liara forced a layer of impassivity to her expression, hiding her surprise. "No apologies are necessary, Teseka, thank you. You did the right thing in waking me." She glanced at her omni-tool, and winced when she saw that it was barely 05:00. She also noticed that although the number of missed calls there had reached four digits, none had been identified as being from the admiral. "Did Hackett provide a comm code?"

"No Peeress. The admiral is waiting in the passageway with Anedra."

"The admiral is here? Outside?" Liara found herself discomfited at the thought of receiving the admiral in her current state. She pushed herself sluggishly to her feet, stretched, and wiped at bleary eyes. For the first time since the battle she found herself wishing that she had thought to have fresh clothing and toiletries sent from the ship. She cast around the room with the unreasonable hope for something more presentable to wear than the jumpsuit she'd slept in.

She didn't have more than a moment to worry. She'd barely risen to her feet when Teseka came to her rescue, reaching down beside the chair the maiden had so recently vacated. "Here, Peeress. Eliata retrieved necessities for you from the Petite'aile after she went off duty."

Liara gratefully took the bag being held out to her. "Thank you Teseka. I will need a few moments to prepare. Please inform the admiral that I will be out shortly."

"Anedra already advised him that you were sleeping. He did not seem to mind, and has demonstrated no impatience." The commando allowed her eyes to roam the room, lingering briefly on the still sleeping form of Shepard before turning to leave.

Once the outside door closed behind Teseka, Liara placed the medium sized bag on the chair she'd slept in and opened it. The suspicion she'd formed when she was presented with the overly ornate luggage was confirmed when she peered inside. The bag did not include any of her possessions from the Normandy, but rather contained a few outfits that had obviously been brought from the T'Soni estate on Thessia. She pulled a full length orange and lavender dress from the bag, pleased that at least it had at least not wrinkled. She held it up to herself, wondering if it would be tight. She didn't believe that she had returned to her normal weight by the time of Benezia's release, but she had not paid attention if she had added any mass in the brief span of weeks since their departure from Thessia. Her stomach chose that moment to rumble, reminding her of her increasing hunger. She allowed herself a brief smile. She'd barely eaten since Shepard's injury. The dress would likely fit just fine.

As she draped the garment over one arm, she peered into the bag to identify the remaining contents. Without Alaya present to insist on the demonstrating the propriety fitting her station, she chose to disregard both the gloves and diadem. She reached into the bag, pushing the top items aside to reveal undergarments and a small collection of personal grooming items. She was relieved to see her favorite brand of crest lotion among the latter. That was one luxury she had missed during her time on the Normandy. Human "conditioners" left her crest flaking, while the sparse selection of lotions that the Normandy had available had simply made her head oily, as her skin seemed unable to absorb them. She quickly collected her choices before quietly turning to the washroom to freshen up. She didn't want to keep the admiral waiting, but she didn't wish to disturb Shepard either.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

As reported, Admiral Hackett was waiting just a few paces down the corridor from Shepard's hospital room. He turned when Shepard's door opened to reveal the maiden.

"Good morning, Doctor," the Admiral acknowledged her emergence with a polite nod.

The Human surprised her by wearing his dress blues despite the earliness of the hour. Any fears Liara had about being overdressed for the occasion quickly receded to the back of her mind. She walked over to join him by the window overlooking the Presidium. "Good morning to you as well, Admiral." The maiden chose to lead with a Human platitude. "To what do I owe the pleasure? I am surprised to see you so early."

Hackett replied with a simple "I hoped that I might convince you to join me for breakfast, Doctor," but his eyes hinted at much more.

Liara looked uncertainly back at the door to Shepard's room. "I had wished to be present when Shepard awakened," she eventually replied.

Hackett's eyes followed the direction of the young doctor's gaze. "Doctor Chakwas has already returned to the hospital." He paused as he took in the Asari commandos flanking the spectre's door, "Not that the commander was in any danger of waking up alone." He turned back to Liara. "Besides, I hear that you were present when she woke up last night."

"Yes Admiral, but for a moment only." She returned her attention to Hackett. "She was awake very briefly before being sedated."

"I read the chart." He waited tolerantly for a response from Liara. When he received none he continued, "If you're that uncomfortable leaving the commander..." he trailed off.

Liara turned back to the admiral from staring at Shepard's room. Although they had shared a great deal of communication over the last several weeks, she had never met the Human in person. The man carried himself with the presence of a matriarch. Liara found this impressive in someone so young. There was also a quiet expectancy to his demeanor. It was obvious to the Asari that there had to be some underlying purpose to this visit, but Hackett gave the impression of someone willing to accept her decision without question or judgement. She offered the Human the smallest of smiles. "I am, but that is likely due to the nature of our activities over the last few months. I would welcome the opportunity to join you, especially after you went to the trouble of coming in person."

"It was no trouble. Besides, a mutual acquaintance hinted that you would respond more kindly to a visit than to being invited." The Admiral swept out his arm, indicating one direction down the corridor. "Please Doctor, after you."

With that, Anedra moved to flank Liara, while Teseka adjusted her position to place herself in front of the door to Shepard's room as opposed to alongside it. Liara motioned to them both with a wave of her hand. "Thank you, but that is unnecessary. I will be perfectly safe with the admiral."

Anedra began to object. "Peeress, Eliata gave specific instruction..."

Liara was polite but firm as she pulled the commando aside. "And I am giving specific instruction as well." She looked beyond Anedra. "Teseka, please remain in Shepard's room until I return. I promised her that I was not going anywhere. If she wakes up without someone she knows to explain my absence, I fear that she may do something she will regret." She turned back to Anedra. "Anedra, you are to remain here. Shepard is not to be left unprotected."

Anedra looked unhappy. "Peeress, Eliata and Lysliis can be called back from the ship. That way you can still travel with your honor guard without leaving Shepard vulnerable."

It brought Liara no small amount of pleasure that the commandos seemed to place the same significance on maintaining a detail guarding Shepard as on one protecting her. Apparently Alaya's seeming disregard for the Human member of the T'Soni family was not universal among members of the House. She made it a point to put understanding in her tone. "Eliata and Lysliis have been exchanging 10 hour* watches with you for two days now. There is no need to exhaust yourselves to maintain an honor guard on us both. I am in no undue danger, and this is not an official function." She glanced back for confirmation at the admiral whose head gave the smallest of shakes. "Until Shepard recovers I will be far more at ease knowing that those I trust are protecting her."

The commando's posture relaxed somewhat, but it was obvious that Anedra was not pleased with the direction that events had taken. "If that is what you wish, Peeress."

"It is. I appreciate your dedication to duty, but I would rather that the team be rested. If I do need all of you before we leave the Citadel, I cannot have the members of the detail exhausted for no reason." She waited to see if a more explicit mandate would be required.

It wasn't. Teseka entered Shepard's room, and despite looking no happier, Anedra positioned herself in the the location thus vacated. "Understood Peeress. We will check in every 25 minutes."

Liara didn't let the smile she felt show on her face. By acknowledging the commando's check-ins, she herself would be confirming her status. She allowed the commando her victory with a nod before taking a step to rejoin Hackett. "Admiral?"

Hackett had silently observed the exchange with no undue interest. As Liara returned to the Admiral's side, he made no comment as he started down the corridor in the direction that he had indicated moments before.

They walked in silence until they were through the doors leading to a busier area of the hospital. Doors that Liara spotted had a pair of Alliance soldiers standing outside them. The young Asari glanced at the Admiral to see if he had seen her notice them. "Yes Doctor. We're taking her security very seriously. Between the Alliance guards and the Council dictate that Shepard not have visitors, she's as safe as we can make her. You don't need a pair of commandos at her door. "

"They were there as much to protect me as her, Admiral."

"That's what I understood to be the case, given the fact that you've been at Shepard's side since she arrived. I also can't help but notice that the Council edict doesn't seem to apply to you." He paused, "From your exchange with Anedra. I was surprised that she didn't insist on joining us."

Liara momentarily considered trying to explain that between her status and Shepard's membership in House T'Soni that the Asari government and hence the Council would be very unlikely to try to keep them separated. Instead, she chose to explain the behavior Hackett had observed from Anedra. "I've spent most of the last 27 years since receiving my doctorate on remote archaeological digs. They understand that I am capable of taking care of myself." She paused in her explanation as they stepped into the lift, "But they do not like it. Although the honor guard is more ceremonial than for security, the commandos do take their role very seriously."

Hackett entered a destination, and the lift doors closed. The admiral did not respond to her statement, and they rode in silence for a time, slowly moving around the arc of the Presidium. From her experience gained during earlier visits with Shepard, Liara was able to identify various shopping, dining, and entertainment sectors through the glass as they passed them. Finally they moved beyond those and into the higher end residential sectors. Once those were left behind they eventually entered what Liara anticipated was their destination, the area that housed the various embassies of the Citadel races, along with the housing for the various diplomats en residence.

When the lift continued on its journey without stopping at the Human embassy as she expected, she turned to Hackett. "Admiral, where are you taking me? I expected that your intent was not to dine in public, but I also expected that our destination was the Human embassy."

"As you surmised Doctor, this isn't an official meeting." Hackett's calm demeanor never changed. "I couldn't very well take a member of the Asari upper class to the Human embassy without it becoming a media circus." He finally allowed himself the smallest of smiles, "Even though I would enjoy annoying ambassador Udina, I would rather keep this little breakfast to ourselves. I'm taking you to the Everest."

Liara was unable to not let her surprise show. "The Everest? You are taking me aboard an Alliance dreadnaught?" The young doctor's mind reeled at the ramifications of likely being the first Asari allowed aboard one of the Alliance's most powerful weapons of war.

Hackett chuckled. "I think it's a little late to limit your access to classified information now, don't you agree Doctor? In fact, that's one of the things I'd hoped to talk to you about this morning."

The maiden's blood ran cold, immediately erasing the improved disposition she'd been enjoying since awakening with the knowledge that Shepard was going to be all right. Her mind flipped through memories of the last few months. Months that she had spent, among other things, enjoying unfettered access to large volumes of restricted Alliance data. She'd so innocently added Shepard's authorization codes to her search queries as she'd continued her research on the Protheans from the Normandy. Shepard had given permission of course, but each response had given her an additional path to follow, a different data cache to access. Her inquiries eventually were no longer _precisely_ restricted to what could be considered academic grade data as she continued her search for details about the Reapers and the mysteries surrounding the Prothean extinction.

She had not yet replied to the admiral when the lift finally stopped, and the pair exited into the Alliance docks. The admiral set a medium pace as he led the young Asari down the various bays where the Alliance ships were berthed. The area was bustling with activity, even given the earliness of the hour. Liara could see a multitude of naval personnel and marines, enlisted and officers. Rank and rating seemed irrelevant as every person in Liara's view seemed to be moving, carrying, or repairing something. There was equipment stacked as far as Liara could discern, filling every available space that didn't actually encroach on the right of way. She reflected that she must have grown more comfortable in the Normandy than she had realized when it hadn't immediately registered that everyone in sight was Human. Everything seems so cramped," she finally commented.

"We're fairly limited on space here at the Citadel, Doctor. Dock space is expensive. The Alliance is only able to afford to lease a small percentage of the the docks vacated by the Batarians when they broke off diplomatic relations with Citadel Space. Every ship that was damaged in the battle, but still capable of relay travel has been ordered to Arcturus for repair. The rest have to rotate through the docks here."

Liara looked more closely at the various equipment stacked along their path. Some of it looked decidedly _used_.

Hackett followed her gaze. "Many of these ships are never going to fly again. We're using resources harvested from those to get as many ships back on patrol as quickly as possible. The Alliance has suddenly found itself fielding the majority of the Citadel fleet, and that's simply not an event that our strategists had prepared for."

They had passed just under twenty docking bays when the admiral indicated to Liara that she precede him to a guarded hatch that sealed an unobtrusive gangway, just like several of the others they had previously passed. As the admiral stepped up beside her, the NCO posted at the hatch snapped to attention and brought his hand up to salute so quickly that Liara could barely see the motion. The admiral waited for a moment before returning the salute, and Liara was certain that the man had been holding his breath while he waited.

"Permission to come aboard, Service Chief?"

"Granted, Admiral. "

"Is Captain Hoya aboard?"

"The XO hasn't returned from the Hawking yet sir. Shall I have him recalled?"

"No Chief. Carry on."

The admiral again indicated that Liara precede him, this time down the gangway to the Everest's airlock. When they arrived they were greeted by short, dark haired woman in commander's stripes whose salute, while professional, wasn't nearly as stiff as the one from the petty officer of the watch. "Good morning Admiral. Welcome aboard."

Hackett returned the salute before passing her into the passageway beyond. Thank you Commander Stewart. Is everything prepared?" The woman fell in next to the admiral on the opposite side from Liara, after barely acknowledging the Asari with a glance. Liara had the impression that the admiral used the commander's name for her benefit, but the maiden wasn't going to speak unless introduced.

"Yes sir. Everything is as you requested, and waiting in the XO's office. We don't expect him back aboard until the Hawking's landing bays are operational."

"The Hawking's damage control teams are among the best, and Hoya's an excellent officer." Hackett turned to Liara, "The toll on Alliance manpower was even worse than on the ships of the fleet. Mr. Hoya's office is available to us because with the death of the Hawking's captain, Hoya may end up becoming the carrier's next CO." He turned back to Stewart with a meaningful glance, "In which case it will become someone else's office." The commander turned away from Hackett's gaze with a look on her face that Liara interpreted to mean that although she would certainly be willing to take the job of XO aboard the Everest, she wouldn't have wanted to get it like this.

Even without the admiral's explanation Liara would have been paying attention to the exchange with no small amount of interest. She had been an integral player in the mission to capture Saren, and finally in the fight to stop Sovereign. The media may have dubbed the event "The Battle of the Citadel", but much of the fighting had been between ships spread across the Widow system. This was a reminder that although her role had not been a small one, she had been one of tens of thousands who were impacted by Citadel Space's first encounter with a Reaper. If the Alliance was stretched this thin, then the Turian and Asari task forces that normally made up the bulk of the Citadel fleet were likely in worse condition.

Liara listened intently while Admiral Hackett and Commander Stewart discussed the current state of the Everest and the other ships of the Fifth Fleet that remained in the vicinity of the Citadel. While they walked,the Asari found that despite the disparity in size, the Everest had a similar feel to the Normandy. Liara found the low beamed ceilings, the dark lighting that allowed instrumentation and controls to be more easily read, and the sharp angles all to be familiar after her time spent on the other Human warship. There were differences that stood out to the maiden as well; the smells of ozone and burning conduit, the smoke stained bulkheads, the obvious exhaustion of the crew as they passed the trio in their duties.

After several minutes working their way further into the depths of the dreadnaught, they finally reached their destination, clearly marked as the office of the executive officer. There was a serviceman posted at the hatch, and Liara entered the compartment when the man opened it. Hackett paused at the entrance and turned to give one final order. "Commander, my compliments to Captain Fujita, and inform him that I will receive his report at oh eight hundred."

The commander saluted as she accepted the dismissal. "Yes, Admiral." When Hackett saluted in return, she lowered her arm and with a final glance at Liara, turned to travel back the way they had come.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Liara took a moment to examine her surroundings as she heard the hatch seal behind her. Obviously the designers of the Everest had not had to place nearly the premium on space as did the designers of the Normandy. The executive officer's office was huge, easily larger than the medbay that was the bulwark to the small lab she'd called home over the last few months. Shepard's cabin wasn't as large as this, and it served as her office space, sleeping area, and lounge for receiving VIPs. This space did not serve as sleeping quarters, but in addition to the XO's desk, did include a conference table with seating for twelve, two long leather couches, and what appeared to be a wet bar. The conference table was currently laid out as a buffet, with an assortment of breakfast dishes. In addition to the plethora of Human foods on display, Liara also recognized ke'ha, arvum, baca, and a collection of various berries from home. There was a serviceman standing at attention at one end of the conference table, apparently present to see to their needs. The maiden allowed a small smile. The admiral had gone to a great deal of effort for her comfort. She wondered to what end.

She was still motionless when Hackett strode past her, addressing the other occupant of the room. "Corporal, you're dismissed. The doctor and I can take care of ourselves."

"Yes sir." The man saluted, then turned and left the room through an opposing hatch once his salute was returned.

Hackett turned his full attention back to Liara for the first time since the hospital. "Doctor T'Soni? Please help yourself. There's no need to stand on ceremony here. I meant what I said when I stated this wasn't an official meeting."

Liara nodded to the admiral as she moved over to evaluate the selections. "Thank you Admiral. I anticipate no small amount of "official meetings" once Shepard is back on her feet." She walked slowly down the table, passing the Asari offerings in favor of eggs, bacon, and waffles with strawberries.

Hackett seemed surprised with both her choices and the amount of food piled on the diminutive Asari's plate. "Are the Thessian choices not to your liking? They were part of the rations onboard the Normandy. Shepard brought Asari foodstuffs aboard every time the ship made port. I assumed they were for you." The admiral made a small plate of toast and sausage to go with the cup of coffee he poured while Liara was filling her own plate.

Liara laughed. "Actually Admiral, it has been Shepard and Wrex who have primarily enjoyed the Asari provisions. As for me, Sergeant Crosby has enjoyed demonstrating what he can do with an Alliance galley." She made no mention of Shepard's own penchant for cooking as she indicated her plate. "Other than the absence of oatmeal, this is very close to what I have eaten for breakfast every day for the last few months." She placed her breakfast on the XO's desk before returning to the buffet to pour herself tea.

"Oatmeal," Hackett growled. "I sent the culinary specialist to the Asari embassy to learn how to serve Thessian food, and you wanted oatmeal." He sat down heavily in the chair behind the XO's desk.

Liara still had her smile as she joined him with tea and orange juice. "I appreciate everything you have done Admiral. I know oatmeal can be considered a banal food for Humans, but it is still exotic for me, especially with cranberries. Just like I find ke'ah to be mundane, but Sarah does not seem to grow tired of it." She hesitated as she sat down, realizing her slip in referring to the commander by her first name. "And as for how much, well, I _am_ a biotic."

"Yes Doctor, your biotic ability featured heavily in Lt. Alenko's debriefing."

"The Alliance has already begun debriefing the crew?"

"Completed doctor. We've completed debriefing the crew."

The maiden's confusion showed plainly on her face. "But how...? Shepard is still in hospital?"

Hackett sipped his coffee before continuing. "That's why I wanted to talk to you Doctor."

Liara considered offering the admiral the prerogative of her first name, but reconsidered when remembering the man's authority over Shepard. Best to keep their interaction professional for now. "I do not understand, Admiral. If you have already debriefed the crew, what do you need from me?"

"First, I was hoping you could answer a question."

"If I can."

"What is the Asari interest in Commander Shepard?"

Liara was dumbfounded. "The Asari interest, Admiral?"

"The Systems Alliance and the Asari Republics have had good relations since humanity's first contact with Citadel Space. Not always great, but good. The Asari brokered the peace with the Turians that ended the First Contact War. The Asari cast the deciding vote that allowed Human colonies in the Attican Traverse over Batarian objection. The Asari have helped humanity with research that allowed for our own biotics to be able to manage their gifts without the danger of brain damage. I believe that Commander Shepard has a Serrice Council bioamp herself."

When Hackett paused to sip his coffee, Liara interjected. "I still do not understand..."

"On the other hand, the Asari have been slow to share military technology or other scientific breakthroughs. In comparison, the Salarians have proven willing to sell humanity any defensive technology that we can afford. The Turians, admittedly not the biggest fan of humanity, have worked closely with humanity on several joint ventures, not the least of which was the development of the Normandy herself."

"Take care in purchasing defenses from the Salarians, Admiral," Liara said darkly. "Their gifts tend to leave doors open that the Salarians can exploit."

"Agreed, Doctor. Most of those technologies have been used for research purposes only. However, back to my original point, the Asari seem to behave _unexpectedly_ where Commander Shepard is concerned."

"Unexpectedly, Admiral?"

"Let's be honest. No one believed that humanity would have representation in the Spectre Corps for hundreds of years. Yet Shepard was the first Human Spectre a mere 26 years after humanity first encountered the Council races. The Krogan saved the known galaxy from the Rachni, and their reward was the Genophage. Shepard ordered the Human fleet to save the Council, and humanity becomes the fourth Council race."

"Humanity has a councilor!?"

Hackett waved away the Asari's outburst. "It hasn't been released, but the Council is deliberating between Ambassador Udina and Captain Anderson to take a Council seat. I wouldn't be surprised if they asked Shepard's input on that too."

Liara was practically lightheaded with the news. "It does sound amazing, but other than naming her to the Spectre Corps, I do not see how any of this could be seen as indicative of special interest in the commander by the Republics."

"Originally, our intelligence assets believed that we were seeing some delayed reparation for events on Elysium."

"Shepard did save many Asari during the Blitz."

"Many that would not have needed to be saved had the Nefrane answered Elysium's distress call."

"I do not know what to say."

"There is nothing to say. Humanity has no interest in calling out a Council race on failing to meet the obligation to render assistance. What could be gained? The ire of the Asari? We kept our mouths shut, Shepard serendipitously saved the majority of the Asari citizens on Elysium, and everyone was able to save face. Like I said, originally we believed that humanity was reaping a deferred benefit from those events and decisions."

"And now?"

"You tell me." The admiral ticked points off on his fingers. "Tevos sponsored the vote for a Council seat for humanity. My sympathies for your loss, but Shepard killed an Asari matriarch, and then was essentially lauded as a hero in Armali. The Asari embassy has submitted papers for citizenship in the Republics for the commander to Captain Anderson's office. The commander doesn't have any debts that I'm aware of, but I suspect that if she did, they're gone now."

Liara mentally derided herself for not anticipating that the commander might have debts. She made a mental note to have Denai verify that neither the commander nor her deceased family had any outstanding liabilities. "Believe me when I say that I do not know why the commander was selected as a spectre. I am grateful that she was, but I do not know the set of circumstances that precipitated it. Her citizenship in the Republics I can explain, as it is the result of events I put in motion."

"You're talking about her joining your family."

"Yes."

Hackett's expression conveyed disbelief. "There are more than a few Humans with Asari bondmates Doctor. I've been invited to several binding ceremonies myself. None of those relationships came with citizenship in the Republic for the Humans involved. In fact, I've never heard of the Asari offering citizenship to a non-Asari unless they took up residence on Thessia or an Asari colony."

"This was a special case." Liara murmured. She met Hackett's eyes, deciding to frame the explanation without giving detail into the meanings behind her actions. "The commander and I are not bondmates, but she is a member of House T'Soni. If something were to happen to me, she would have access and control over all the wealth and holdings of the House."

"And these holdings are substantial."

"By some measurements."

"By any measurement, if the information I have is to be believed. That brings me back to my original question. Why the commander? Why her?"

Liara's voice hardened. "This was not 'an Asari' choice Admiral, this was my choice, and a personal one at that. If I am unable to meet my obligations to my House, for any reason, she is the only person I trust to do so in my stead."

Hackett sat back, apparently satisfied for the moment. "Because of the Reapers."

"Yes Admiral, because of the Reapers." The maiden's intensity was unabated.

"Good." He smiled at her. "I needed to hear you say it. There have been so many denials about the Reapers that I have to be careful who to discuss them with."

"Denials? Now?" She waved her hand to encompass the damage to the Everest and the Citadel beyond. "Does the Council deny Sovereign's existence?"

"No, but they do deny that it was a Reaper. The official story is that Sovereign was a 'Geth dreadnaught' with no driving intelligence of its own."

"Admiral, I was there when Shepard _spoke_ to it!"

"Yes, as was Chief Williams. Both your and the commander's reports are on file."

"But apparently they were not believed," said Liara disgustedly.

"I didn't say that. I believe them. Anderson believes them. Your commentary during the mission on Ilos was also convincing," he offered a grin, "if enthusiastic. We were able to make a copy of the feed from your suit before it was impounded by the Council. I'll have a copy sent you you."

"Please. Not that it will matter if humanity alone will be preparing for the Reaper invasion."

"Not even humanity, doctor. The Alliance's official position mirrors the Council's. One more benefit to receiving a Council seat, I'm afraid."

"Then why are we even discussing this?"

"The Council may not believe in the Reaper threat, but as we both know, that doesn't mean it isn't there. I'll be working to prepare all we can. If I can't officially prepare for Reaper invasion, I can prepare our soldiers to fight husks and other Reaper-like threats in our war games. I can work with Anderson to lobby for a military buildup under the guise of taking a more active role as part of the Citadel Fleet. We plan to use Shepard and her heroism as a recruiting tool."

"Shepard will find that last part to be distasteful."

"Which is why I asked you to breakfast. I need your help."

"I also find it distasteful."

"Shepard's loyalty to the Alliance is unquestioned. Her loyalty to the Council is as well. I would be unable to imagine a situation that would cause her to shirk her duty _as she sees it_. For now, for _right now_ , she serves best as standard bearer to rally the troops. If she believes that she instead should be shouting "the Reapers are coming" from the rooftops, then all that will happen is that the races who would prefer to keep their populations from panic would align against her."

"I understand that Admiral, but Shepard will not wait patiently if she believes that the galaxy is not preparing for the war that is coming."

"And that is why the mission debrief is already over. The Council couldn't have her statements about the Reapers go on public record, and the Alliance can't risk her having her spectre status rescinded. She's being promoted to full commander. She'll be decorated again, and if I have anything to say about it, she'll receive a second Star of Terra. The Turian and Salarian governments both have decorations they would like to reward her with as well. Not that it really matters since she's effectively on detached duty for the Council, but once she's out of the hospital she'll transition from her convalescent leave to block leave with the rest of the crew. The Normandy's in dry dock for repair and to allow the shipyard to go over the data from her rather unconventional shakedown cruise. None of her crew are being reassigned unless they request it." He looked meaningfully at Liara. "As I expect you plan to play no small part in the commander's upcoming leave, perhaps she can spend some time with you on Thessia working on your own plans to prepare for the Reapers? The distraction should serve both our needs for the time being."

"I will not be used as a tool to get Shepard out of your way because she has become inconvenient."

"Nor am I asking you to. We are both in agreement that preparations for the Reaper invasion must be made. Until others see as we do, we have to expend our efforts where they'll do some good. Shepard can help you prepare Armali for the Reapers. Let her do so. It does no good for her to expend her energy challenging a Council that will only shutter itself against her."

Liara finished the last of her tea. "I am not pleased with this request Admiral, although I understand what you are trying to do. I will assist if I can. But know this; if Shepard, if _Sarah_ , specifically asks my help in convincing the Council, I will not deny her."

"And all I can do is remind you that she will be more effective at stopping the Reapers as a Council spectre than as a mid-tier naval officer."

Liara closed her eyes for a moment. "Fine. Let me talk to Tevos."

* * *

*The Citadel operates on decimal time, so 10 hours would be equivalent to half a day

A/N: Assumptions here include:  
FemShep/Liara  
End of ME1 - after the Battle of the Citadel, and this is the 7th story of the _Cari'ssi'mi_ series  
(Sorry, it probably makes sense to at least read Obligations through Connections first)

Shepard is:  
Colonist / Vanguard / War Hero

As always, feedback is welcome and desired.


	3. Misunderstanding

Shepard woke suddenly.

She was fully, _seriously_ , awake. She found herself with a sense of dry eyed edginess that she would typically associate with a fifth cup of coffee.

As her eyes opened, the first thing they encountered was a smiling Dr. Chakwas, who still had a hand resting on the controls for her IV.

The doctor's smile was still visible in her eyes even as she greeted the overly wakeful spectre. "Hello, Commander. How are we feeling this morning? Wide awake?"

Shepard started to return the grin, which faltered a bit when she started to sit up. "Wide awake is an understatement Doctor. I feel like I might never sleep again." She started to adjust herself a little further, paused when she saw Chakwas was watching her with a raised eyebrow. The doctor probably knew exactly how much discomfort she was in, and was simply waiting to see how much of it Shepard would admit to. ' _Time face the music,_ ' she thought as she turned away for a moment. "Otherwise, I'm still more than a little sore on my left side." She ran her hand lightly along her bandaged torso as she tried to find a comfortable position, looking hopefully back at Chakwas, hoping that was close enough to full disclosure to placate the doctor.

It wasn't. "It probably hurts like hell Commander. Three cracked ribs this time." Her smile took on a wicked overtone as she moved to the other side of Shepard's bed.

Following Chakwas' movements allowed the spectre to realize for the first time that they weren't alone. _'So much for situational awareness. Some spectre I am. Anderson would think this was hysterical._ ' "Teseka? What are you doing here? Where's Liara?" Wincing, she attempted to adjust herself for the third time, only to have Chakwas push her back into position on the bed.

The doctor interrupted before Teseka had a chance to respond. "Enough of that Commander." Chakwas tempered her stern tone by maintaining her smile. "Hold still now. I want to get this bandage off you."

Shepard looked down at the doctor's hands as Chakwas lifted the commander's loose fitting top, revealing a thick bandage that covered much of the lower left side of her torso. The doctor pulled the adhesive back from one corner of the dressing and slowly peeled the bandages back until the commander was completely free of them.

Shepard looked in confusion at the pristine skin revealed by the removal of the bandages. "It looks great doc, but it still hurts like crazy."

Chakwas responded with a hint of pride. "Some of my better work Commander. You had a fairly deep puncture there, but one benefit of being injured on the Citadel is response time. The Alliance medic got medi-gel on you right away, and between that and my suturing skills, you don't even have a scar. First time for everything, I suppose."

Tired of not getting the answers she sought, Shepard began to repeat her complaint, when she was wracked with a sudden cough. "Damn!" she hissed when it passed. "That hurts like an SOB!."

"The fact that you're still talking is a good sign, Commander. I added an analgesic to your treatment regimen, but it will take a few minutes to take effect."

"Why didn't you wrap me up like you did before? At least that didn't hurt as much, even if I couldn't breathe."

"Your ribs weren't broken last time Commander. The wrap was as much to compensate for the bedrest that I knew you wouldn't take as anything else. Broken ribs aren't treated with immobilization, and in addition to your concussion and dislocated shoulder, this time you hit the jackpot." If anything, Chakwas' already cheerful grin intensified. "For a patient receiving medi-gel, the usual amount of mandatory bedrest for broken ribs is five to seven days. I got four out of you without even trying. If I can keep you in bed for one more day then Anderson's going to put me in for the Distinguished Service Medal."

"Pftttp. He can do better. I'd hold out for the Navy Cross." The spectre backed down from the playful banter as she rotated first one shoulder then the other, looking for any loss in her range of movement. Finding none, she moved on to more important priorities. "Where's Liara?" she asked quietly, but in a tone that left no doubt as to the seriousness of the question.

The doctor's tone softened as she moved up to stand closer to the head of Shepard's bed. "Liara's fine, Commander. At the moment she's having breakfast with Admiral Hackett."

Shepard started to right herself only to wince as she was pushed down by the doctor yet again. "She's with Hackett? What's going on? Is there a problem?"

Chakwas drew her finger across Shepard's forehead, moving some of the stray hair away from her face. "Relax Commander. Hackett's been waiting to meet with her for a couple of days now. I knew she wouldn't go with him until you regained consciousness. Now that you had, I suggested a breakfast as a pretext to get her to eat, killing two birds with one stone as it were." The doctor paused for a moment, gracing the spectre with a reassuring tone. "Like I said, she's doing fine, even if she is learning to follow your poor example of self care. Once her injuries were treated she never left your side until this morning."

The doctor already had her hand on Shepard's shoulder this time, anticipating the next outburst. "Liara was injured? Why didn't you say something?" The commander's eyes and voice conveyed the irritations her lack of mobility could not.

"It's all right Commander. It was nothing major, only a sprained ankle. She was up and around before the Normandy even docked. Garrus is fine as well," she added, tactfully reminding the spectre of the rest of her crew.

"Where is Garrus?" Shepard asked, her tone moving slightly in the direction of normal.

"He's been appearing before the Council, like the rest of the non-human crew, as well as Lieutenants Alenko and Pressly. He's been staying at the Turian embassy during the Council debrief. He also arranged accommodations for Tali there as well so she wouldn't have to deal with any difficulties trying to find a room on the Presidium, or in securing dextro foodstuffs."

"Good man." Shepard nodded approval at learning the Quarian engineer's wellbeing had been seen to. "What about Wrex? Kaidan? Joker? Other than the debrief, how are they doing? Why haven't I seen anyone?"

"As soon as he was done with his testimony, Wrex said he was going to Chora's Den. I suspect he might still be there. Kaidan's been with Captain Anderson working on the mission report for the Alliance Parliament. Joker is still with the Normandy, answering questions for the Board of Inspection, as well as various Turian scientists and engineers. The Normandy had, shall we say, an unexpectedly taxing shakedown cruise. Finally, as for why you haven't seen anyone, the Council has forbidden any visitors until you're declared fit for duty."

"But you're here, Teseka's here, Liara's been here."

Chakwas rolled her eyes. "I'm your doctor Shepard, of course I'm here. As for Liara, well it seems that she and her staff have proven strangely exempt from the Council edict. I can only imagine that's one of things that Admiral Hackett wanted to discuss."

Shepard looked away, chagrined. "Um, yeah. I bet he did."

The doctor waited for Shepard to elaborate. When no further explanation seemed forthcoming she took her hand from the commander's shoulder and returned to the other side of the bed to retrieve her field bag. "I'm sure Liara will be back soon Commander. I doubt she'll tolerate being separated from you for long, even if I did tell Hackett to make sure she ate to the level of a combat biotic." She paused for a moment to resume the mantle of CMO. "In the meantime, stay in bed. I'm pleased with how you're healing, but not so pleased that I'm going to release you before tomorrow morning. The next few days are likely to be stressful, and the more rest you get the better prepared for it you'll be. Remember that I'm the one who gets to declare you fit for duty... or not. Don't force me to sedate you again." She let the threat hang. Once she was certain her message had been received, the doctor returned to the role of sympathetic friend. "If you carry on without getting the rest you need, then we both know that Liara will try to help see you through it and she's on the edge of exhaustion herself. Understood?"

Chakwas waited until she received an only mildly defiant nod in response, and then turned to leave. She said goodbye to Teseka as the door opened for her, revealing a conspicuously fatigued Matriarch Lidanya blocking her path.

The doctor stopped short as Lidanya closed the distance between them while Eliata looked on. "Practitioner, good morning. Is Shepard well enough to receive visitors?"

" _My patient_ ," stressed Chakwas, holding her ground in the doorway as she replied to the unfamiliar matriarch, "is doing well. She needs another day of bed rest but is well on her way to a full recovery." When her statement generated no response from the Asari, she continued. "Is there something I can help you with?"

The Asari took half a step back, realizing the was on the edge of a breach of etiquette . "Apologies Practitioner. I'm Matriarch Lidanya," she paused, offering a half nod to the Human. "I've come to see the commander."

The doctor remained unmoved. "The last I heard, the Council had not lifted the restriction on visitors."

Lidanya activated her omni-tool and held it out before her, flowing Attena script visible floating in the interface. "I have Council authorization, signed by Councilor Tevos herself."

"Of course you do." Chakwas didn't bother translating the text, but looked back to Shepard. "You need your rest Commander. Can I trust you to be good?"

The commander responded with an audible "Harrumph" before moving on to an irritated sigh. "It's fine doctor. I'm sure she's not here to take me dancing. Besides, I've only been awake for ten minutes and I'm already bored out of my mind."

The doctor turned back to the matriarch, letting her posture show that she was unimpressed with the current series of events. "I'm sure it won't make any difference to you when I say that she needs her rest, and isn't to overexert herself?"

"I have no ill intent, Practitioner. By all means I will abide by your guidance. This is merely a social call."

"Just stopped by to say hello? And that's why you appeared mere minutes after the commander woke up, with special Council dispensation ready and waiting? No, don't answer," the doctor continued as Lidanya started to explain. "I wouldn't believe you anyway." She turned the commando standing just inside the doorway. "You, Teseka. We haven't been introduced, but Liara obviously has you looking out for the commander.' Chakwas waved her omni-tool over Teseka's "There's my comm code. We'll have Shepard's vital signs monitored, but just in case something _unexpected_ happens before Liara returns, let me know. I'm sure you've already informed Liara that the commander's awake, and by now that she has a visitor as well." She took the commando's continued silence as a confirmation.

With that, and with one final glare at Lidanya, the doctor left the commander's room, turning left into the corridor and out of Shepard's sight.

Her reception thus far less than welcoming, Lidanya stepped into the room, allowing the door to seal behind her. As she moved closer to Shepard, Teseka moved back to her station blocking the doorway.

Lidanya looked back at the commando, her tone no longer beseeching, but one accustomed to obedience. "Huntress, may I have a moment alone with the commander?"

"No."

The matriarch turned back to Shepard, obviously surprised by the bluntness of the response. She took a deep breath all as she struggled to not let the indignity of the situation show on her regal features. "Commander? Some assistance please?"

A wry grin settled across Shepard's features. She put her hands behind her head as she settled deeper into her pillows. "Don't look at me. I wouldn't even have tried. She's here on Liara's orders, not mine."

Lidanya started to show some mild impatience. "You realize she follows _T'Soni_ orders, Commander. Barring any immediate threat to your physical person, she'll obey any instruction you give her, up to and including her own death."

Shepard looked around the matriarch. "Is this true, Teseka?"

"It is, Peeress. I am sworn to the House, and through it to you." She looked now at the matriarch. "Although I might add that there are freedoms in the duty of a huntress beyond mere obedience."

"Good to know. Thank you Teseka." Shepard returned her attention to Lidanya. "There was something you needed?"

Lidanya looked back over her shoulder, looking for some indication of impending privacy. When none seemed apparent, she reiterated, "I had hoped to speak with you alone."

"We rarely get everything we wish for." Shepard slipped into command mode. "Doctor Chakwas was right, something's on your mind. What is it?"

The matriarch paused for a moment before resigning herself to the situation. She walked over to one of the chairs lining the wall to Shepard's right, selecting one and bringing it to the commander's side before sitting heavily into the unyielding plastic, not making eye contact with the spectre. "I do have some information for you, that much is true. I have a request of a... personal nature as well."

Seeing that Lidanya had backed down from anything resembling a confrontational tone, Shepard allowed herself to be gracious. "Take all the time you need. I'd say that I'm a busy woman but," she indicated the room around them, "for the moment at least that's obviously not true. One diversion is as good as another until Liara gets back."

Lidanya perked up at that. "The Lady T'Soni is well?"

"We only spoke for a moment last night, but yes she's fine. Besides, if anything was wrong with Liara I doubt I'd be sitting here enjoying the presence of my talkative companion," she flashed a grin at Teseka, who did not return it.

"Despite what you might think Commander, the House T'Soni guard likely puts as much a premium on your safety as the Lady T'Soni's. The two of you presumably add a significant amount of complexity to their responsibilities. I know that I would find it difficult to ensure the safety of the members of the T'Soni family."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "Is that why you're here? To tell me that I make Eliata's job difficult? I've actually been expecting to hear that for a while but I don't think I need to hear it from you."

"I apologize Commander. You're correct, I have no right to speak as I did. All I can offer as justification is my exhaustion. The Battle of the Citadel cost the fleet a significant number of ships and personnel. We're still assessing the damage and casualty count."

"There were civilian casualties as well," Shepard pressed.

"Don't you think I know that?!" the matriarch snapped, causing Teseka to take a half step forward before retreating at the quick shake of Shepard's head while Lidanya took control of her anger.

"I know you know," Shepard offered in a quiet voice. "I just wanted to remind you that all of this was unnecessary."

"And I have you to thank."

"For?"

"Regardless of your opinion of me Peeress," Shepard took note of the change of address, "I am not an idiot. I am very much aware that you saved my life, the lives of my crew, and the lives of the council. I want to thank you."

"You don't need to thank me, thank Hackett. The Alliance fleet is what saved you, not me."

"I think I do need to thank you. I've seen the data and I've heard the record. Admiral Hackett deferred to your decision. You ordered the Alliance to save the Destiny Ascension, as well as a significant number of Asari and Turian cruisers and frigates."

"It was the right thing to do."

"No it wasn't. I told you, I heard the record. All of it. Doctor T'Soni was correct. You should have held the Human fleet in reserve and then concentrated on Sovereign. By splitting your forces to save the Council and the remnants of the Citadel Fleet, you ensured the Alliance would sustain heavy losses."

"I said 'right', not 'tactically sound'. We couldn't let the Council die if it was within our power to save them."

"This was purely a moral choice for you? Why? Because you fear the Asari would judge you?" The matriarch shook her head. "They would not have. Your results speak for themselves. Yes, we would have lost the Destiny Ascension and the Council but overall Asari and Turian contingents would not have suffered significantly more damage without Human intervention. The Geth were not finishing off vessels that were no longer a threat. The strength of the Republics would not have been significantly diminished by the loss of one dreadnaught." She paused, "It was a mistake to save us."

"You sound like someone who is unhappy to be alive."

"I assure you, I am not."

Shepard considered her response. They didn't seem to be making much progress, so perhaps another tactic was in order. "So was there a message from the Council? If so, they obviously didn't send you to tell me that I make Liara's security detail work too hard, nor that they wish I hadn't saved the Destiny Ascension. I'm sure they expected that I would act to save the Council to be a foregone conclusion."

Lidanya cocked her head, perhaps relieved to follow the new direction of conversation. "They are grateful, yes." She paused, "Tevos in particular."

Shepard rolled her eyes. "I'm so happy for her. Is she grateful enough to drop everything else to help prepare for war against the Reapers?"

The matriarch hesitated, "She is... grateful."

"But not so grateful that she'll believe me, even now." Shepard threw her head back against the pillows in frustration, even as she winced from the motion.

"You must understand, Commander. You have justified her actions. She who named you spectre over the objectives of many, has seen her critics refuted by your heroism. Tevos would not have expected to see the choice of the first Human spectre validated in your lifetime, yet her selection was vindicated in mere months. You have provided her with no small amount of political capital to expend, far more than she ever expected. She has no small debt to repay."

"But not with her support against the Reapers."

"No."

"I didn't do this to earn favors, Matriarch. I saved the Council because it was within my power to save them. Even if it wasn't, I would likely have died trying." Her voice took on a more cynical tone. "Is this how the Council has maintained power for so long? Do as little as you can, and then only when you must? Is that why you're so surprised that I gave the order to save them? Do you think my order would have been different if the galaxy hadn't been watching? What would your precious Council have had to say then?"

"They would have been in a position to say very little."

"Ha. True enough. Look, I didn't do this to curry favor with Tevos. In fact, from what I remember I've managed to piss her off every time we've spoken. If she's not going to back my play against the Reapers, fine. At least I know where I stand. You can tell her that I don't need anything else, thanks."

The matriarch nodded. "Because of Doctor T'Soni. The wealth of her House prevents you from needing to rely on the council."

"What? No!" Shepard gritted her teeth as she sat upright in the bed. "I don't need anything because _I don't need anything_. I feel that I'm missing something here. You've offered me her gratitude like I'm supposed to do something with it, but when I bring up the one thing of any importance you tell me that's off the table."

"Off... the table?"

"Not a valid choice. Sorry. Let me try something else. Are you trying to get me to ask for something _specific_?"

"You are free to ask for anything you like."

"How about I ask to command the Citadel Fleet?"

"I am sure that you would make a fine commander."

"That's it? I'm talking about taking your job and you have nothing to say?"

"I serve at the pleasure of the Council. I am certain that they can put my skills to use elsewhere in the event that you were chosen to command the fleet."

"I'm just trying to get your goat."

Lidanya sat impassively.

"I don't want your job. I'm serious, I really don't need anything. I was just teasing you." She locked eyes with the emotionless matriarch. "Damn. I could have had Liara blushing and tongue tied by now."

"I am no maiden, Commander."

Shepard laughed. "No, you certainly aren't."

At that, the hospital room door slid open, revealing a slightly out of breath Liara. "And Shepard is inexperienced in matters of the peerage."

Lidanya stood, offering _lidifemea_ , and a slight nod of her head to the maiden. "Good morning Peeress. It is a relief to see you well."

Liara crossed the room to sit on the edge of Shepard's bed, facing their guest. "Good morning to you as well, Matriatch Lidanya. I was pleased when I heard that the Destiny Ascension and her captain had survived the battle." Her tone became more formal, "I apologize for any discomfiture you might have experienced. I meant what I said. Sarah is so comfortable around Asari that it is easy to forget that she so far has had little exposure to our ways." She slipped her hand into Shepard's and squeezed gently. "House T'Soni meant no offense. She truly has no idea what you are offering."

Shepard spoke up. "I knew it! I knew you were hinting at something. Why can't any of this be easy? Does everything in this whole aristocracy thing have to be cloak and dagger?"

"Shh," Liara motioned the spectre to silence.

The matriarch looked from one T'Soni to the other. Liara looked back with a patient smile, while Shepard simply looked pleased with herself. She directed her words to Liara. "She... doesn't know?"

"No."

"I was not being ridiculed, or tested?"

"Never, Matriarch."

"Will someone please tell me what's going on?" Liara's presence was a comfort, but Shepard was starting to get aggravated.

"May I assist, Matriarch?"

"That might be prudent. I find myself growing wary of false assumptions."

Liara turned to Shepard who was giving her her best 'I'm tired of waiting' look. "You were correct, Shepard. Matriatch Lidanya was making a very specific offer. An offer in payment of debts both specific and implied."

"Fine. What is Tevos offering me?"

"You misunderstand. The offer is from Lidanya. She wishes to remunerate House T'Soni for debts that she feels she and Tevos owe you. She believes that Tevos will not do enough, so she is choosing to assume Tevos' debt as her own."

"You don't need to do that! Tevos can cover her own debts! In fact, I _do_ want something from her now! I'll..."

Liara squeezed her hand again. "Hush Shepard."

"Sorry," Shepard tried to sound apologetic. "What is _Matriatch Lidanya_ offering me?"

"Herself."

"What? No!"

With that, Lidanya stood abruptly. "I apologize for intruding. I will take my leave."

Liara quickly moved to block the matriatch's path. "No. Stop." She looked over her shoulder. "Shepard?"

"What?"

"Not like that. She would swear an oath to you."

" _Another one_? Look Liara, you know how I feel about..." Lidanya tried to move past Liara, pain in her eyes.

" _Enough, Shepard_!" Liara barked as she blocked the matriarch's path. "Lidanya is our guest, and you are hurting her!"

That got the spectre's attention. "What? How?"

"She carries a great burden. Can you not see it? She is struggling to find a means to strike a balance between she she believes she owes you, and what you are willing to accept, _but you are not helping_."

"Matriarch," the sorrow and regret in Shepard's voice were not feigned.

Lidanya remained facing the door.

"Lidanya. Please come back."

For a moment Shepard was afraid that the moment couldn't be saved, but after a few breaths the matriarch silently returned to her seat.

Shepard put every last ounce of sincerity she had into her voice. "I'm sorry. Liara usually lets me know when I'm about to make a mistake. I'm really not good at this."

"Yes you are. The fault is mine. I should have waited until the Lady T'Soni was present to avoid any misunderstanding."

"She's here now."

"She is, and she is correct. I would swear an oath to you."

Shepard held her tongue as she raised her eyebrows at Liara in a plea for clarification.

The maiden smiled as she sat back down next to Shepard.

"Very good Shepard. No, she does not mean to swear fealty to you, but rather allegiance."

"I'm not sure I understand the distinction."

Liara considered. "The difference is obvious in Attena, but I could see why you are confused. Swearing fealty implies specific obligations of fidelity and faithfulness. Allegiance is simply that. You would have an ally in the Council hierarchy."

Shepard slowly turned back to the matriarch. "It seems like I already have an ally, don't I?"

"I would not see harm come to you Commander."

"Thank you. I don't think you need to swear an oath, or do me a favor, or defend me to Tevos. Can't we just be, friends?"

"Friends, Commander?"

Liara spoke a word in Attena that Shepard still heard as 'friends'. "What was that?"

"I knew what you meant, Shepard. Asari relationships have levels of complexity that do not translate well into Alliance Standard." She chuckled. "Many of our descriptive words all seem to translate simply as 'friend' without any nuance as to the levels of intimacy or obligation that might have been intended."

The pair turned back to the matriarch, who no longer seemed as conflicted.

"I think I would like that, Commander."

Liara let out a long breath. One more crisis averted. If only they were all solved so easily. Fortunately, even in the face of failure, Shepard's obvious sincerity had saved the day again. "Matriarch, I know the hour is early, but would you join us for tea? There is much that I wish to discuss."

"Peeress, I would be honored."

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

It was nearly midday when Lidanya finally left the pair.

Teseka had moved back to the corridor, Shepard was still in her hospital bed, and Liara was curled up in the chair she had slept in. The maiden had a cup of tea in one hand and a pad in the other. "You did well, Shepard. Lidanya thinks highly of you."

"Only because you were here to pull my foot out of my mouth."

Liara chuckled. "She understood, despite your Human proclivity for metaphors. That begs the question; How _are_ your people able to communicate?"

"We manage."

"Then that leaves only one thing unfinished from this morning."

"What's that?"

"Blushing and tongue tied?"

"That was totally out of context! Besides, I didn't know you were listening."

"Perhaps I should have Teseka keep you company tonight."

"Hey!"

* * *

*The Citadel operates on decimal time, so 10 hours would be equivalent to half a day

A/N: Assumptions here include:  
FemShep/Liara  
End of ME1 - after the Battle of the Citadel, and this is the 7th story of the _Cari'ssi'mi_ series  
(Sorry, it probably makes sense to at least read Obligations through Connections first)

Shepard is:  
Colonist / Vanguard / War Hero

As always, feedback is welcome and desired.


	4. Offer

_Earlier..._

Admiral Hackett's brow furrowed slightly. "Tevos? Why?"

Liara took a moment to frame her reply for the Human's benefit. Finally she stood, moving to the conference table to pour herself another cup of tea. She allowed herself the luxury of a slight smile as the sharp scent of the powerful blend wafted from her cup. After an indulgent sip, she replied to the Admiral's succinct question as she returned to her chair.

"The councilor does have an agenda, that much is obvious. However, I question that this agenda specifically applies to Shepard in particular or humanity as a whole. Asari Matriarchs simply don't put strategies into place that quickly. Consider this Admiral; Councilor Tevos first encountered Shepard on Elysium during the Skyllian Blitz. That was only _seven years ago_. At best, Shepard was a convenient discovery for a strategy already decided upon. Just because Tevos' actions appear to be benefitting humanity, I believe that it would be premature to surmise such benefit is the planned outcome of her activities. More likely she is simply countering some maneuver taken by one of the other councilors, or perhaps some rival on the Conclave of Matriarchs. If one of them seem to be rising to a superior political position, she may simply need a mechanism through which to counter such action."

"And you believe that she will reveal her strategy to you?"

Liara laughed. "Of course not Admiral. Regardless of our history, Tevos views me as a complication, not a confederate as far as the commander is concerned. Nevertheless, she does seem to wish to maintain some dominion over Shepard. Now that you've told me the Council intends no mobilization against the Reaper threat, Shepard will no doubt have even less of an inclination towards blindly taking direction from the Council in general, and from Tevos specifically than she already was. Tevos will be looking for some other method to influence Shepard. Let her find that method in me."

Hackett countered. "Tevos may not find such a proposition credible. She no doubt suspects that your loyalty is to the commander, not to her or the Republics."

"Of course, because it is. I will make no offer, no concession to her authority. I will simply share my plans in regards to the commander, and observe Tevos' responses. My apparent motive will be in holding the Council accountable for Shepard's distress, for her injuries. This would not be unexpected, and Tevos will likely not expect a spurious strategy. If my plans do not coincide with her desires, it is plausible that she will encourage me to modify them in such a way that they do."

"That's quite a stretch. I would not expect Tevos to be so easily misled."

"And I do not intend to mislead her. I will be completely open and honest in my intentions, one of which, the beginnings of preparation for Reaper invasion, you have already suggested. I will tell her what I intend to do, and then I will do it. If she looks for hidden dealings, she will find none." Liara paused to take another sip of her tea. "After all, I am only a maiden, and as such poorly suited for intrigue and subterfuge."

The Admiral didn't immediately reply. He reached for his own coffee, taking a long sip before speaking. As he returned his mug to the desk, he locked eyes with the maiden. "I would have to disagree Doctor, if only because because I've recognized certain patterns in the access of specific Alliance classified data from the Normandy over the last few months."

In an instant Liara's blood was ice. She cursed herself, having completely forgotten Hackett's comment about "access to classified information" while on their way to breakfast. _'Goddess. I was showing off. I was so proud of my plan to outmaneuver Tevos that I was explaining it to the Admiral when I should have been making ready for this assertion. He even warned me, and I spent no time preparing for this line of discussion.'_ Liara made no outward response. She even made a point to refrain from raising one of her eyebrow markings in a questioning manner, even though she was certain this was an appropriate opportunity for the Human mannerism she had learned from Shepard. Instead, her tone remained an even one, "Classified data, Admiral?"

Hackett snorted. "Almost believable, Doctor. Don't worry, you haven't slipped. There is no smoking gun, no data trail. The only problem is that I don't just read your reports. I read Shepard's as well."

"Shepard's reports, Admiral?" Liara didn't have to act to allow confusion to show in her voice this time.

"Doctor, I've taken an interest in Shepard ever since she became Anderson's de facto protégé. He's one of my best officers, and he has an eye for talent. Shepard's strong, she's driven, she's brave. She's a maverick, but she holds the rules and traditions of the Alliance navy in the highest respect. She's talented, she's intelligent, but she's never inefficient. She loves writing. Her report on Altahe in regards to how the binary system might have managed to become tidally locked while not violating the Roche Limit is incredibly detailed, and proposed several feasible explanations that are still being debated by astrogeologists and astrophysicists. She even added an appendix after the Normandy's recent visit to the Acheron system. There is one exception that I've found however. She absolutely, positively, _hates_ writing after action reports. So when I see that her access codes are used to query Alliance databases about systems that the Normandy visits, that she pulls data about historic civilizations and long dead races, yet her mission reports reflect nothing about the data so accessed, I can only assume that someone else is accessing the information using her credentials."

The admiral's verbose discourse was just what Liara needed. She used the time to draw a veil of tranquility over herself. When she responded, anyone familiar with House T'Soni would have recognized Benezia's cool tones in her voice. "So you have drawn conclusions based on the selections of reading material, Admiral?"

"There's no need to get defensive, Doctor T'Soni."

"I do not believe that I am, Admiral," the Asari replied as she settled more comfortably into her chair.

"You misunderstand, Doctor. The Normandy project has succeeded well beyond the Alliance's design. Normandy was built to research the ability of Humans and Turian to work together far more than she was meant to be a laboratory of prototype technologies. Not that the technologies demonstrated haven't been impressive! Far from it in fact. She is a masterpiece of cross species engineering." Hackett leaned forward, ensuring the young archaeologist gave him her full attention, "But Shepard has exceeded everyone's wildest expectations, hasn't she? A Human crew on a ship of Turian design wasn't enough for her, was it? She had to build a team made up of members of nearly every race that could comfortably serve on board." He chuckled for a moment, "I bet that if the mission had gone just a few weeks longer she would have found a way to recruit a Salarian and a Drell into the unit."

Hackett's tone changed as he became more serious. "Yet each of Shepard's nonhuman squadmates has filled some specific role, haven't they? The Normandy has a Quarian engineer, a Turian ordinance expert, and a Krogan berserker." He waved off Liara's attempted response. "I know, I know. Each of my single word descriptions paint complicated individuals as one dimensional. I mean no disrespect, I'm just making a point. I don't know them like you do, and they are each filling what could be seen as a stereotypical function."

He paused, "But you aren't, are you?"

"Admiral?"

"I look at you, Doctor Liara T'Soni, archaeologist, researcher, daughter of Matriarch Benezia and heir to House T'Soni, and I do not see someone who is filling a stereotypical function. From where I'm sitting, I see an Asari maiden. I don't see someone who belongs on a warship. Specifically, I don't see someone who belongs on _my_ warship. At the same time, I do see someone who has provided the Normandy with both logistical support and strategic intelligence. Perhaps you can help me fill in the gaps?"

"Gaps, Admiral? Many maidens are commandos, and I assure you that they do serve on warships."

"And you are not a commando. As I stated, I find the Asari interest in Shepard to be unexpected. That includes your interest in her, which in turn leads to my interest in you."

Liara continued to calmly hold the Admiral's gaze. She wasn't yet certain where he was trying to lead her, but she would not go willingly until she knew the destination. He'd already effectively accused her of espionage. Yes, the man's accusation was a valid one, but in all honesty, she wasn't concerned. She had seen her way past her original, irrational fears. She was certain that if the Human had proof and wanted to act on it, their breakfast would not have been so cordial. Besides, if Hackett actually desired to call her out on accessing Alliance data, then words were truly the only weapon in his arsenal. He was no danger to her. Hackett would never risk a diplomatic incident by publicly denigrating a member of a Great House of Thessia. So... there was more here. Hackett had already asked that she distract Shepard from the Council infighting, but he was not behaving as a person whose desires had been met. Perhaps it was only curiosity that remained? She could satisfy that much. Her only vulnerability here was Hackett's possible ability to prevent her from returning to the Normandy, and he could be a valuable ally. Her path decided, she was ready to continue. "And as I have stated, my interest in the commander is personal. I am not act acting at the behest of another. My motives are my own."

"You wish to protect your home, protect Armali, protect Thessia. I can understand that, especially after losing so much. But someone with your resources, someone with your obvious, if underestimated, political acumen could be far more effective lobbying the Council, or the Conclave of Matriarchs for the kind of action that we both know needs to occur. If I may, Doctor, how are your interests served by remaining on the Normandy? What do you gain by supporting Shepard at the expense of supporting your household?"

"Admiral, if I was not clear before, let me be clear now. Shepard is part of my household. Supporting her supports House T'Soni, supporting her supports Thessia. Additionally, supporting her supports the galaxy."

Hackett chuckled. "I'm not sure that the galaxy appreciates your effort, Doctor. 'Saving the galaxy' seems to be an excessively high goal for a single individual, even one as well connected as you."

"Believe me, I know."

You believe yourself to be on a fool's errand then?"

"'Saving the galaxy' as you put it, is not _my_ goal, it is _hers_. Left to my own devices, I would likely have been just as strong a denier of the coming onslaught as the rest of the Asari."

"So you do this because Shepard asks it of you?"

Liara's laugh surprised even her, louder than her norm, with a maniacal overtone that startled them both. _'Goddess, I need to get some rest.'_ "Asks it? Shepard would never ask it! She'll drive herself, push herself beyond all strength, all reason. She will fight this battle with every ounce of her being. Saving the galaxy is exactly the kind of goal that she would set for herself."

"Then why place yourself in this position?"

"Because I must! I have seen what she has seen. I have shared her vision of the Reapers. _I know what is coming._ I have seen advanced civilizations wiped entirely from existence. I have watched as whole planets with populations in the billions were reduced to rubble. You are right of course, I could never hope to defend against that. I know that in the end I am powerless to protect my household."

"Consequently, you place your faith in Shepard? You see no other option?"

Liara's intensity increased to the point where she could see Hackett pull back slightly. "I need no other option, Admiral. I am Asari. I have literally _been inside her mind._ If the Reapers are the greatest threat the galaxy has ever faced, let me promise you that Shepard is the greatest threat the Reapers currently face. If the Reapers can be defeated at all, then I believe that Shepard will be the one to do it."

Hackett cocked his head, obviously able to see that there was a truth left unspoken. "And?"

Liara sighed. "And if there is to be any hope, she will need my help. Shepard is as skilled a soldier as I have ever met, and I was trained by Asari commandos. To fight effectively, she will need information. I will be able to assist in ways that the Alliance cannot, that the Council cannot. My research is uniquely suited to the problems that Shepard is trying to overcome. My contacts will equip her with access to resources that the Alliance will be unable to provide, and information that the Council will be unwilling to furnish."

"I agree."

"Admiral?"

"I agree with your assessment. I don't quite see you as being as indispensable as you see yourself, but I would be an idiot to not work with an individual who is so obviously as invested in the commander's success as you are." He activated his omni-tool and waved it quickly over the Asari's left arm, which activated her omni-tool in return.

Liara looked to her omni-tool as it confirmed receipt of millions of encrypted documents. She looked at Hackett quizzically. "Admiral?"

"I'm offering you a job, Doctor."

Liara's head was practically spinning with all the directions this conversation was taking. "With all due respect, Admiral, I am not looking for employment. Even if I were, an Alliance salary is not a temptation."

"Know what Shepard makes, do you?"

Liara remained silent.

"This is for my benefit as much as yours, Doctor. As I said, the other nonhuman members of Shepard's team all have obvious roles. It will be helpful to me if your role on the Normandy is equally as obvious."

Liara started scrolling through the index of the data transfer, trying to ascertain where the Admiral was going. "And what role is it that you expect of me?"

"Civilian contractor. Strategic intelligence analyst. Prothean expert." Liara smiled slightly at the phrase that Shepard used almost as a pet name. "The Alliance will be seen as supporting your research, and formalizing your relationship as a member of the Normandy's crew. This will become public information, and without a mystery to solve, most will look no further into your reasons for remaining on the Normandy, nor into mine for allowing it." The admiral continued when the maiden did not respond. "You've been granted top secret security clearance, as well as codeword clearance for one hundred and seventeen compartmentalized projects."

Liara turned her gaze from Hackett back to her omni-tool. "Admiral, this is an exceptional amount of information."

"Yes Doctor, it is."

"And far in excess of the amount of data I had access to using Shepard's clearance codes."

"Again you are correct."

She narrowed her eyes. "You had this ready when I arrived. You never intended to castigate me for accessing Alliance data, you planned this all along." She looked down to flip through more documents. "Many of these projects seem unrelated. Why give me this specific data? What was your selection criteria?"

"Doctor, I've given you information on every project that I have access to."

Liara was shocked. "You don't know what I'll need, so you decided to give me everything?"

"Was I incorrect, Doctor? I'll need every asset I can get to help humanity prepare for the Reapers. If the Alliance knew what I just gave you, I'd be court-martialed. This is not a time for half measures. I don't have time to take this to a committee, or have your loyalty reviewed by a board. Shepard trusts you, Anderson trusts Shepard, I trust Anderson. This is gut instinct here, with a little protective investigation thrown in. I've had your communications scrutinized. I see no indication of exposure of classified information, no suggestion of nonobservance of security protocols. In fact, I intend to recommend some of your procedures to be evaluated when updating Alliance best practice for handling classified material. You've been so careful that under other circumstances one might think that we had an agent provocateur in our midst."

Liara blushed slightly. "I am a researcher at heart, Admiral, and as such am very meticulous about how I organize my data. Also, contrary to what you might expect, research fellows are often looking for a means to out maneuver their colleagues. I have learned the hard way how to keep a secret."

"I won't ask that you keep any information away from Shepard that you think she needs, but I would appreciate it if you did not make it a point to advertise to her as to the level of access that you've been granted."

"Of course, Admiral."

Liara waited patiently as the Admiral remained silent for a moment. Finally, he sat back and a hint of a smile played across his features.

"Doctor Chakwas informs me that the commander is up and around, and that she expects to release her tomorrow morning. Where should I have your effects delivered?"

"My effects, Admiral?"

"I'm sorry Doctor. Your personal belongings. I had intended to have them sent to the Asari embassy when the Normandy departed for Arcturus, but Officer Vakarian objected. They're being stored here aboard the Everest for now."

Liara was momentarily taken aback by the disclosure that the Normandy had left for Arcturus. She had assumed that Shepard would continue to use her quarters onboard the Normandy as her base of operations just like every other time the ship had visited the Citadel. She herself had expected to continue to stay in her quarters on the Normandy as well. It probably never occurred to the admiral that someone with her means would be perfectly satisfied with using the small lab behind the Normandy's medbay has her quarters, even when other options were available. "I... am embarrassed to admit that have not planned that far ahead Admiral. I suppose I will have to find a hotel or other accommodations for the remainder of my stay on the Citadel."

"Doctor Chakwas seemed to believe that you had an apartment in Kayseri Ward, near the concert hall."

"Benezia did maintain a residence in Kayseri, but Eliata informed me that it was in an area heavily damaged in the battle with Sovereign. I have not yet investigated, but I suspect that the apartment was a total loss."

"I was afraid of that Doctor. Would you like for my staff to make inquiries? Nearly a third of the residential housing on the Citadel was destroyed in the battle. We're hot bunking in the ships to free up the Alliance barracks for civilian refugees."

Liara gave the Admiral her most reassuring look. She had no interest in bunking in an Alliance barracks. "Thank you Admiral, but I will be fine. I do not intend to remain on the Citadel for long once Shepard's award ceremonies are complete. Until then, I can stay aboard the Petite'aile."

"Undamaged dock space is also at a premium, Doctor. Let me know if my people can be of any assistance."

"I should be able to make arrangements Admiral, but I will keep your offer in mind. Was there anything else? Because if not..." Her voice trailed off as her omni-tool vibrated for attention. This was not the expected quarter hour check that she had been maintaining with Teseka but instead a message from Eliata.

 _*Matriarch Lidanya has arrived to see Sarah.*_

 _I will be right there._

 _*She is waiting for the Human doctor to complete her assessment.*_

 _Acknowledged._

After a moment's hesitation she tapped out the code to activate her subdermal receiver. The implant under her left aural was usually only needed when activating her comm inside a suit helmet. Then she messaged Teseka.

 _Status?_

 _*The Human doctor has awakened the commander.*_

 _Send audio._

 _*Acknowledged.*_

Having ensured that she wouldn't miss anything important from Lidanya, she looked back up to the Admiral, the entire exchange having taken under 15 seconds. "I apologize Admiral. Commander Shepard is awake, and I believe she will be more at ease if I am present."

"Of course." Hackett stood as he activated his omni-tool. "Doctor T'Soni is ready to leave."

Immediately the hatch that they had entered through swung wide, opened by the same serviceman that was posted at it earlier. "Reynolds," barked the Admiral, "See Doctor T'Soni to the public lift." He turned to the Asari. "I was serious in my offer. Don't hesitate to ask if I can help in any way."

"I promise that I will not Admiral. Thank you, for everything." When the Admiral did not extend a Human style handshake, Liara paused before finally offering _lidifemea_. The bare minimums of etiquette having been met, Liara turned to leave, the serviceman closing the hatch behind them.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Hackett sat back down at the XO's desk, feeling drained by his conversation with the passionate Asari. He reached for his coffee, and grimaced as he suffered through a mouthful of the cold beverage. Shipboard coffee was substandard under the best of conditions, but the cold temperature only made the synthetic taste of the bitter brew worse. _'At least she actually drank the tea. If she'd gone after the coffee with the same enthusiasm as the other human food, she probably would have thought I was trying to poison her.'_

He lifted his arm and activated a comm on his omni-tool. "David?"

The reply was immediate. "Yes, Admiral?"

"Knock it off David. You and I both know I'll probably be calling you 'Councilor' before the end of the week."

"They might still pick Udina."

"Not if they ask Shepard."

A laugh. "Probably not."

"Get in here David."

The hatch connecting the office to the service corridor was opening even before Hackett had closed the comm channel. "Yes sir."

"You were listening?"

Captain Anderson moved to occupy the seat recently vacated by Dr. T'Soni. "As ordered. Every word."

"And?"

"I like her."

"That's not what I was asking, and you know it."

"Sorry, sir. I was just a little impressed how she held your own against you. Fairly remarkable for a child."

"A child nearly twice my age," growled the admiral.

"And in her society she'd be considered somewhere between sixteen and twenty, depending on who you ask."

"You've asked, I take it?"

"I have a vested interest in the Normandy and her crew as well, Admiral. That's in addition to my personal interest in her commander."

"So?" The admiral's tone made it clear that he did not plan to be as tolerant as he had been with the young Asari.

"So, I spent some time with Dr. Chakwas. She had quite a lot to say about our blue friend."

"I can imagine, particularly given your discussion with her before the Normandy departed for Ilos. Was any of it positive?"

"All of it, Admiral. Chakwas has taken quite a shine to her. It also seems that after a slow start, T'Soni has become quite integrated with the Alliance crew, particularly after Benezia's death. Of the other crew members I've spoken to, only Alenko was reserved in his praise, but he praised her nonetheless."

"Anything else?"

"It seems that you were right. Doctor T'Soni has been already acting as the de facto intelligence officer for the Normandy. Shepard's a natural diplomat, as much as she'd hate to admit it, but she is certainly benefiting from having the strategic intelligence that the doctor brings to the table. T'Soni's also been acting as an analyst, signal officer, and translator."

"Translator? What on Earth for?"

"Most of the data the Normandy crew had been using to hunt down Saren was from Prothean ruins. Written content was beyond the programming of the Alliance translation matrices on board, and any data conveyed by beacon required a meld to interpret. T'Soni was able to translate a great deal of it from memory, and had specialized software with her for the rest."

"I'm not entirely sure I'm comfortable with an Asari having access to the thoughts and memories of one of our line officers."

"You'll have to get used to it, Admiral. You said it yourself, there are more than a few Human servicemen and women who have taken Asari bondmates. No secrets to be maintained there."

"But T'Soni and Shepard aren't bonded."

Anderson looked away, finding the artwork behind the Admiral to suddenly be an object of intense interest.

"Fuck. Well, that explains T'Soni's 'personal interest' despite her claim of not being bondmates."

"Hold on, sir. I asked Dr. Chakwas that very question, and she confirmed T'Soni's claim. They aren't bonded. They _are_ very close, and there is an almost ridiculous amount of trust between them. If they're even in a relationship, that's a very recent development. Chakwas says the Asari that she's spoken to are as confused about the two of them as we are."

"Did Chakwas have an explanation?"

"She did sir, but I don't think that it's one you would believe."

"Try me, Captain."

Anderson recognized Hackett's address of him by his rank as an additional indication of the Admiral's diminishing patience. "SShepard's never actually been in what I would consider a true relationship before. She thinks that the commander is shy, sir.. She thinks that the commander is shy, sir."

"You have to be kidding. I've seen the commander in action. She's a 70 kilo platoon all to herself. The woman doesn't have a gram of hesitation in her."

"That may be, but I know her better than you do sir. If she's in a relationship with T'Soni, it's her first."

"Outstanding. Reapers on our doorstep, and Shepard's focus is on getting laid."

"Oh, the commander never seemed to have had a problem with _that_ sir, but I don't think you're giving them enough credit." Anderson had seen the young Asari's reaction when Shepard had been buried under the remains of Sovereign, her utter despair. Had seen that despair shatter when Shepard appeared atop the debris pile, and the horror that had appeared moments later when Shepard had collapsed at the doctor's feet. It had been very apparent to the captain that the Asari's feelings for the commander ran deep.

Hackett took a moment to finish the last of his vile coffee. "You might be right, but I'm not in the mood to hope for the best. We need to keep an eye on the situation. Remain in contact with Doctor Chakwas. Doctor T'Soni appears sincere in her desire to help Shepard, and even if I wanted to replace her, I doubt I could find someone as motivated or with an equivalent skillset. I'm still on board with maintaining her security clearance and posting to the Normandy until and unless she does something against Alliance interests."

"That shouldn't be a problem sir."

"We need to be honest with ourselves David. T'Soni's a wealthy heiress and Shepard's a spectre. We need them more than they need us. T'Soni was absolutely correct in what she told Doctor Chakwas. If Shepard decides she's better served by going rogue, she will. We can't depend on her sense of duty to stop her. That sense of duty is what will require it. Between T'Soni's resources and Shepard's ability to assemble a team of specialists, all the Alliance has to offer Shepard is the Normandy."

"Shepard loves that ship sir."

"Be that as it may, it appears that there might be something she loves more."

* * *

A/N: Assumptions here include:  
FemShep/Liara  
End of ME1 - after the Battle of the Citadel, and this is the 7th story of the _Cari'ssi'mi_ series  
(Sorry, it probably makes sense to at least read Obligations through Connections first)

Shepard is:  
Colonist / Vanguard / War Hero

As always, feedback is welcome and desired.


	5. Travels

2182 CE

Liara again looked around her studio, as if anything would have changed. University housing being what it was, the task didn't take long. The room allocated to her as a research fellow contained only her bed, workspace, set of storage cabinets, and galley kitchen. The meager decorations were limited to the painted seascapes that had been present when she moved in ten years prior, and a framed copy of her doctorate. The small dwelling had additionally been furnished with a couch and chairs, but Liara had long since replaced them with additional cabinets and had expanded her workspace. The maiden had never invited a guest to her home, and cared little for the trappings of design. If she thought about her housing situation at all, it was only to lament the communal washroom.

She paused, her packing effectively complete. The majority of her archaeological tools and supplies were already onboard ship, and she only had smaller items remaining to fit into her transportation allotment. The mass effect may be able to reduce the mass of a ship and cargo down to effectively nothing, but there was still an energy cost to do so. Shipmasters were notoriously non-altruistic, and that cost was borne by the clients and passengers. Thus, she had to condense everything that she would need to live and work for the next two years down to the 1210 kilos* she could afford, nearly a third of which was in the form of the calories she would consume. It was not lost on her that when she had first arrived at the university, everything she owned could fit into a single knapsack with room to spare.

This was not a new exercise for the young archaeologist, and despite her annoyance with it, she had been through it many times before. The young Asari had been on numerous digs with Matriarch Sulilta during the 32 years of her undergraduate and post graduate study. Many of these had been sizable events, with chartered ships, an exorbitant number of support staff, and all her needs provided for. It had reminded her of traveling with Benezia. Tellingly, Sulilta had never collected any articles furnished to Liara after such expeditions, and to this day much of Liara's best equipment was the result of these larger, university sponsored showcase digs.

A few exceptions had been smaller affairs, only including Sulilta and a handful of graduate students. Liara had preferred such, even though the undertakings tended to be far less comfortable, far more basic. Those smaller exploratory expeditions held some of Liara's fondest memories, particularly any time spent alone with Matriarch Sulilta, learning her trade. Sulilta was an exceptional researcher, and a gifted educator, albeit one with no tolerance for the obtuse. Liara had looked forward to these more austere excursions, even though they had tended to eat into her meager savings, first collected from her athletic scholarship, and later from what Sulilta had referred to as her "exceptional" ability to write grant proposals. Liara had learned early on that academia valued the ability to write a grant abstract far more than it valued actual research. Still, if the remunerative value she brought to Sulilta's program was one of the reasons that the professor was willing to do so much for her, Liara had happily accepted the fact.

Those easy times ended when Liara received her doctorate. The maiden had originally seen the successful defense of her dissertation as the validation of her effort, the acceptance of her work. Instead it had merely moved her out of the protective bubble that surrounded the matriarch's graduate students. Liara had been unaware as to how sheltered she had been, guarded by Matriarch Sulilta's sacrosanct position as a high profile faculty member.

In those early days, Liara had viewed her time on Sulilta's personal expeditions as "roughing it". She had congratulated herself on her ability to deal with the hardships of preparing her own food, repairing her own tools, even mending her own clothing! She had been so prideful, seeing her time as a graduate student as proof that she didn't need Benezia, that she was truly and completely self sufficient.

Now she looked back at even those expeditions as wildly extravagant. It was only when she had to start competing with her mentor for the limited grant funding available that she realized how well the university provided for Matriarch Sulilta. Even on the expeditions that were not officially sponsored under the banner of the University of Serrice, significant amounts of staffing and supplies had still been made available to the matriarch. It wasn't until the first time that Liara tried to assemble her own expedition, to sponsor her own team of researchers, that she'd truly realized how much of Matriarch Sulilta's role had been managerial and bureaucratic, and how little was purely investigation and analysis.

The recently minted doctor had approached the problem like she had so many others, with focus and diligence. Her first decision was if she wanted to remain affiliated with the University of Serrice. Even without considering alien institutions, her doctorate would allow her to entry into nearly any hall of learning in the Asari Republics. In fact, given her education and mentor, she would likely be on a fast track to tenure if she were to pursue an academic career on one of the colony worlds. Although the thought of that level of security had a certain appeal, Liara had discarded it almost immediately. While there was no way for her to avoid moderate teaching responsibilities in any case, she knew that very little original research tended to take place in the colonies. Even the lure of potentially becoming a full professor before the age of 250 wasn't enough to tempt the maiden away from the field. She knew herself, and she was a researcher at heart. She'd had dirt under her fingernails from the time she was twenty five.

Still, Thessia had many universities, and she'd made inquiries. Unfortunately, while many had been interested in having her join their institutions, it had almost always been under the assumption that with Liara would come a T'Soni endowment. When it was made clear that she intended to stand on her own as a researcher, it became more and more likely that as such she would stand alone. Matriarch Sulilta had done her no small favor, it seemed. Although the matriarch had benefitted from the maiden's financial and political skills during her graduate studies, she had also drawn no small attention to Liara's abilities inside the university. As far as the University of Serrice was concerned, Doctor Liara T'Soni was a known quantity. Her field of study might be eccentric, but while many doubted her conclusions, none doubted her competence nor the quality of the data she produced. Even Matriarch Sulilta, who had disagreed with Liara's Theory of Cyclical Extinction even as she assisted Liara in selecting her dissertation committee, had still been proud of the maiden the first time that she had lost out on a grant to her rather unusual protégé.

The grant had been small, but it was the first of several. It had allowed her to plan her first offworld dig, on Daratar. Even then the young archaeologist would have been willing to go into the field alone, investigating the rumors of active Prothean artifacts in the planet's ancient mines. The university however, had not been so accepting. Capable the maiden might be, but Daratar was off the regular shipping lanes and known to be an occasional refuge of smugglers. The university might turn a blind eye to certain risks in the name of research, but that did not mean that the administration was willing to deal with the fallout of the T'Soni heir becoming a casualty on her first university condoned expedition.

The minimum requirements of official sponsorship having been made clear to her, Liara expanded her expertise. She took classes in electronics, communications, emergency first aid, and administrative supervision. She acquired every necessary skillset she could, with the intent of leaving her meager personnel budget available for researchers and security. She would have attempted to cover the security requirement herself as well, but the university had finally drawn the line at how many hats they would allow the inexperienced researcher to wear.

Once the university administration had grudgingly given its permission to move forward, Liara discovered her next difficulty, assembling a credible research team. She had assumed this would be the easiest component of her endeavor, given that the Sulilta College of Archaeology attracted students from across the Asari Republics. What her search instead revealed were underachievers who had been unable to flourish in Matriarch Sulilta's competitive environment. These were students who had failed to impress the matriarch, yet were too far along in their studies to make transferring to another school or program a reasonable option. She found herself forced to select from students who neither shared her passion for the field, nor agreed with her theories. They were women who Liara could only loosely describe as "scholars", but were willing to trade their exiguous labors for academic authorship in any papers published by Liara that were based on the expedition.

Daratar turned out to be a dead end, but Liara learned a great deal from it. Although she had known the unlikelihood of Daratar revealing an unexplored trove of Prothean artifacts from the beginning, she had not been disappointed. The young scientist knew that the reason that researchers like Matriarch Sulilta never wasted time on fruitless expeditions was because small excursions like her own were the vanguard of such research. Liara also knew that had she indeed discovered a cache of Prothean technology, she would have been relieved of her authority as expedition leader upon their return. She would have at best been an ancillary researcher on another expedition led by the matriarch, or some other senior scientist. Liara had seen some such when in the field with Sulilta, and none had seemed particularly pleased with their diminished roles. She nevertheless accepted the reality of her age and position with pragmatism, knowing that her time would come.

Regardless, Daratar allowed Liara to evaluate her shortcomings, as well as her strengths. One, her age, she accepted was something she could do little about and that would have to take care of itself. Every student on her expedition had been older than her, and her youth, coupled with her reserved and unassertive demeanor, had given the members of her research team little reason to behave deferentially towards their fledgling expedition leader. It was only when when out of desperation that she "accidentally" let slip the details of her lineage that some of her team began to interact with her in a more respectful manner. Liara had found the behavior to be infuriating. Although it got the job done, the maiden vowed to never trade on her family name again.

The lessons she learned changed her methods while reverting her worldview. She never again selected from groups, teams, or couples. Liara decided that she did not need the aggravation of colleagues that would align themselves against her direction and expectation. For her next expedition she selected loners, introverts, outsiders. It made for quiet meals, but proved remarkably effective. Her next expedition, to Chalkhos, revealed previously undiscovered Prothean artifacts and provided information about other heretofore unknown Prothean colonies.

Her methods validated and patience rewarded, Liara continued to assemble expeditions. The maiden remained undaunted as some of her excavations were successful and others not. The general trend however was towards longer digs, with fewer researchers. By Liara's eighth sanctioned expedition, she traveled alone.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Liara maintained a steady pace as she walked around the grand curve of Pineios station. The passenger docks were far behind as she moved deeper into the cargo terminal. She held her head high, and remained looking straight ahead as her soft footfalls kept their constant rhythm.

It was difficult to keep herself as detached as she might like as she moved through the crowd. As an Asari facility, the cargo docks weren't actually _dirty_ , but they definitely looked as if they had seen more use and less care than the passenger areas. She was also surrounded by a much larger percentage of aliens than she had been before crossing into the areas dedicated to freight. Not so much that as an Asari she was in the minority, but more than she was used to.

The doctor had learned early the savings to be had when traveling by freighter. She had done this before, and had established a routine. The majority of those around her paid her no mind, focused on their own affairs. Of those that remained, some were pleasant, and others less so. As a general rule Liara preferred not to engage. She avoided eye contact where she could, met the gaze of others with a curt nod when she couldn't. Although she made her way carefully, she was continually bumped and jostled by the various ship's crews and dock workers that moved around her. The archaeologist was no stranger to the criminal element that operated such spaces, even here in orbit of the homeworld. Such individuals would not find her to be an easy mark. Her omni-tool was completely deactivated, and she surreptitiously checked the seals of her bag after each contact with a member of the crowd.

Nearly half an hour after leaving the passenger docks, the maiden finally reached her destination. She turned onto the docking bay marked as connecting to the Amaris, and started down, walking nearly two hundred meters until reaching a ninety degree left turn that ended abruptly at an airlock.

There was no call button, but Liara could see that the external camera was active, so she waited to be noticed.

After a few moments she was startled by a gravelly voice they she tentatively identified as Turian. "Whatever you want, we don't need any."

Liara looked directly into the camera. "I am Doctor T'Soni. I have booked passage aboard the Amaris."

She could hear a low toned discussion in the background. "I thought they were already on board?" "Look on the passenger manifest you idiot, she's traveling by herself." "I have better things to do than babysit another wannabe dancer. Half of them get sick the first time they go through a relay." "Just shut up and let her in." Liara fumed silently.

The voice returned to normal, as her antagonist returned his attention to her. "Cutting it close, aren't you? We break orbit in four hours. This isn't a pleasure cruise you know. We don't wait for overdue passengers."

 _'Yet you have time to debate the point with me,'_ the young archaeologist thought as she reflected that his list of 'better things to do' likely included a nap. "My cargo was brought aboard yesterday. I saw no need to accompany it until the scheduled departure time. I am ready to board as soon as you will let me," she indicated the still secure airlock.

The external hatch creaked as it opened, the individual panels on physical hinges as opposed to recessing into the bulkheads. She stepped carefully into the airlock, and winced slightly as the hatch squealed even louder as it sealed behind her.

There was a brief burst of blue that she presumed was an antiquated decontamination cycle before the interior hatch opened. It was also hinged, but seemingly better maintained as it moved quickly and silently.

She stepped into the corridor thus exposed, and came face to face with the body belonging to the voice from outside. The Turian was short in stature, but still taller than the maiden that faced him. He was older, Liara judging him to be in perhaps the eighth or ninth decade of his life. He wore a work jumpsuit made of a thick cloth, as opposed to the rigid outfits usually preferred by Turians, but of a type that Liara had seen before. The rigid, more militaristic outfits that Turians tended to wear prevented them from accessing the smaller crawlspaces that tended to exist aboard merchant vessels. Since this vessel was Asari, albeit antiquated, it was likely that no accommodation was made in its design for the more typical style of Turian dress.

The jumpsuit was filthy, but Liara made it a point not to let any distaste show in her voice or manner. The crewman would be her companion for the next few weeks, and she had no desire to start their interaction on the wrong foot. From his earlier comment he already seemed biased against maidens, and she had no desire to reinforce the stereotype he perceived.

"Hello, I am Dr. T'Soni."

"Juvenal," came the curt reply.

The maiden gave a polite nod. "It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance Crewman Juvenal."

The Turian grunted in return.

"Could you please direct me to the passenger area?"

Juvenal surprised Liara by reaching for her bag before turning. "Follow me."

The man walked in silence for several minutes as they started down the length of the massive freighter. The narrowness of the corridor required that Liara stay a step behind the Turian as he walked squarely in the center of the passage. The maiden assumed the entire walk would be made without further interaction when her escort surprised her by speaking again.

"Bulkhead 30," he pointed as the passed through a hatch.

"And...?" Liara prompted.

"Passengers stay behind bulkhead thirty when the ship is in flight," the man declared as if reciting a litany. "Areas forward of bulkhead thirty include the bridge, secondary control, the captain's quarters, and forward cargo. Passengers are not permitted without escort."

"Captain's quarters? Will I see the captain?"

"Captain Ne'hewla does not see passengers."

"So who do I ask if I need to go forward of bulkhead 30?" Liara prompted.

"Juvenal," the man replied.

Liara blinked as the Turian referred to himself in the third person.

They continued for another minute or so when Liara could discern voices coming from up ahead. From what she could see by looking around Juvenal, it looked like the corridor was about to end in a room more brightly lit than the dimly lit corridor that had traversed so far. Liara guess they had likely traveled somewhat less than a quarter of the length of the ship.

The maiden's suspicions were proven correct when Juvenal stepped into a large open space. "Passenger lounge," he announced as Liara followed into the oddly furnished room.

Her eyes swept the room, trying to take it all in even as Juvenal continued walking and pointing to things. The room contained nearly a dozen couches, twenty or more chairs, a myriad of end tables, each with a lamp, but no two items the same style. There was a large dining table between what seemed to be the main seating area and an open kitchen. There were large entertainment panels on two walls, while a third was lined shelves containing thousands of OSDs that Liara suspected were vids, books, or a combination of the two.

Juvenal seemed bent on naming everything in the room even as the occupants of the space fell silent to take in the new arrival. It seemed that all of Liara's fellow passengers were Asari. This was not a surprise, given that she was on an Asari registered vessel departing from the Parnitha system. She _was_ surprised to see that all twenty one of the occupants of the room seemed to be members of the same party. Most of them seemed to be looking at her with expressions that varied between suspicion and derision. Liara shivered. She did not feel welcome.

One capable looking matron stood up as Liara's eyes swept across her. She put the pad she was reading down on the table next to the lounge chair she vacated and walked over to meet the newcomer.

"Liri Keix," she offered when she was within arms reach of Liara.

"Dr. T'Soni." Liara winced as she replied, wondering why she had reflexively put on an air of superiority.

If the matron was offended, she gave no sign. "Awfully young for a physician, aren't you? Not that you care about the age of your practitioner when they're saving your life."

"Sorry, no." Liara was quick to correct the misperception. "I am a doctor of archaeology." She indicated Juvenal who was still moving around the room holding her bag. "That is some of my equipment."

Keix laughed as she saw the young doctor's discomfort. "You're still young for a doctor, no matter what kind. Still, I've had girls your age or younger on my team, so I imagine that if someone is old enough to shoot a gun, they're old enough to dig a hole." She turned to indicate the other Asari in the room, a collection of maidens and matrons. "This is Cutlass Squad, out of Ulee. We're on our way to provide some extra support to a farming colony that has a large percentage of Ulee colonists. They've been having a bit of trouble with raiders."

Liara belatedly realized that all of the other Asari in the room were commandos, and that Keix must be their leader. She tried to be as politely deferential to the woman's position as she could. "What colony?" she asked.

"Classified."

"Sorry," Liara looked down at the rebuke.

"Don't worry about it Kid. Where are you heading?"

Liara decided to be nonspecific as well. "The Artemis Tau cluster in Alliance space. There is a dig there that the university has granted official status to."

One of the other maidens in the room cocked her head at that comment. "What university?"

Liara turned to the new speaker. "Serrice. It is where I received my undergraduate and doctoral degrees."

The other maiden jumped to her feet (no small affair, as she had been sitting with her legs over the back of her chair) and came bounding over to stand next to Keix. "You're _Liara_ T'Soni?"

Liara took as step back, even as she admitted to her identity. "Yes?"

"You were the midwing on the Serrice skyball team that won 7 planetary championships in a row?"

"Yes," Liara answered again.

Other commandos rose to join them, one of them leading Liara to one of the couches even as they began peppering the bewildered doctor with questions. "Why didn't you go pro?" "What was it like to play with Carvkae?" "Were you worried in the 2130 playoffs when Serrice was down by seven during game five?"

The questions went on for some time before Keix took pity on her. "It's been a while Kid. Are you hungry?"

Liara looked over to her, barely aware of the time. "Is it mealtime already? Does the captain require that we join the crew for mealtimes?"

"The Amaris is pretty informal. You can join the crew if you want, but we never do. As for the captain, I've been flying on this tub for over a hundred years, and I've never seen her. Rumor has it she keeps her cabin in zero-g. Usually we take turns in the kitchen." Keix indicated a pair of matrons in the kitchen who were busy preparing a meal.

Liara was confused. They had only just broken orbit since she'd been in the passenger lounge. "How long have you been aboard?" The maiden reflected that the commandos had looked extremely settled when she encountered them.

Keix laughed. "We boarded just before you did, but we travel aboard the Amaris fairly regularly for a freighter. Matriarch Ne'hewla has an arrangement with Ulee."

Liara stood, looking around the room for the first time in hours. "Where is Juvenal? Where is my bag?"

"Don't worry about it," Keix reassured her. "He would have put it in your cabin. He always assigns them in order, so you'll be in cabin 22."

"I never even saw him leave," the maiden admitted.

"The passageway beyond the kitchen leads to the passenger cabins. He wouldn't have needed to come back this way to get to his station. It's a big ship."

"I noticed."

Liara had finally started to grow comfortable in her surroundings. Her fellow passengers seemed friendly, if not forthcoming. She no longer feared that she would spend the next few weeks barely leaving her cabin, counting the days until she made planetfall. She was about to ask what was for dinner when she realized that again a silence had fallen over the room. Whereas the silence when she had arrived was a questioning one, this one had an underdone of shock or surprise. As her eyes took in the room she realized that everyone was staring at her again. No, she reassessed, they were looking _behind_ her.

She spun quickly, and immediately jumped back with a start. She found herself face to face with one of the oldest matriarchs that Liara remembered ever encountering. She was dressed impeccably, and if she spent much time in zero-g, she demonstrated no effect from it as she stood with her posture erect and her eyes sharp.

"Captain Ne'hewla?" she heard Keix gasp from somewhere off to her right.

It was only as the captain stepped forward that Liara realized the matriarch was holding something out to her. Liara put her hands forward, reflexively taking the object, feeling the familiar weight.

"Dr. T'Soni," began the matriarch, "would you sign my skyball?"

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Liara looked around her camp, and was quietly satisfied. She was sore, and she wanted the shower that her water reclamation unit wasn't yet ready to provide, but she was content nonetheless. It had been five weeks since her arrival on Therum, and starting tomorrow she would finally be ready for some actual archaeology.

The Batarian shuttle pilot had been surly but professional when she had provided the coordinates of the landing site. He didn't even protest at landing in a volcanically active area. The mining complex abandoned by the Humans seemed no additional deterrent, despite the poorly maintained towers reaching dismally skyward, with the rusted catwalks haphazardly spanning them. The man had slipped between them easily, bringing the Amaris' shuttle in for a touchdown as gentle as if their approach was to a listed port. He had only seemed disappointed when Liara had reassured him that the university had secured Systems Alliance permission for her research, and that the Alliance was aware of her presence. Her pilot seemed to hope that her undertaking was a bit more mercenary than it actually was.

In comparison, the crewmen tasked with unloading her cargo appeared to have no interest in her or her mission. To say that they had declined to carry her equipment into the mine would be an understatement. In addition to their laughter, Liara found herself exposed to several Palatine words that her omni-tool refused to translate. Then again, just because they were spoken by a Turian didn't mean they were Palatine at all.

It had taken the men nearly four hours to unload her equipment. They placed her containers haphazardly just beyond the blast perimeter of the shuttle. Exasperatingly they placed most of the containers in the opposite direction from the mine entrance. No amount of appeal could dissuade them, and the crewmen justified their actions with the explanation that that there would be a cyclonic effect created by an interaction of the the shuttle's thrusters and the ramp to the mine entrance. Liara was convinced they were simply irritated by her request to bring the equipment into the mine, and that this was how they had elected to demonstrate their displeasure.

It had taken her nearly a month to get all of her supplies down to the level where she had decided to make camp, but every minute was worth it. Each previously known Prothean ruin on the planet had long since been looted by various mercenary groups or mining endeavors, but Liara had hopes that this one would be different. Nearly five years ago an Eldfell-Ashland survey team had broken into a heretofore unknown lower level of the ruins in this area. As required by Council law, they had reported their findings, and vacated the area, pending Council sanctioned investigation.

Unfortunately such investigation had been long in coming. Therum was a known quantity, and no credible researcher was willing to waste time on the desolate world. Therum may have been a thriving Prothean colony at one time, but now it was only useful as an easy source of heavy metals. Liara believed it fortunate that it was Humans who had discovered the previously unknown ruin. Humanity almost fell over itself in following the letter of the law when it came to the reporting of Prothean artifacts. Liara agreed with many of her peers that humanity did so to deflect interest by the galactic community in the Prothean ruins on Sol 4. Technically the ruins there had been discovered before the Humans were members of Citadel Space, and therefore not yet subject to Council law. The scientific community disagreed, but for now the Humans had Mars to themselves while the case made its way through the galactic courts. Like many of her peers, Liara almost drooled at the idea of gaining access to a fully functioning trove of Prothean knowledge, and thought it monumentally unfair that the only such trove known to exist was in the hands of the race least qualified to utilize it. Still, even as she questioned their qualifications, the maiden was grateful to the Humans who reported the find.

Functioning geothermal power taps were one reason for her optimism about this site. The survey team had reported no functioning Prothean equipment, but as far as Liara was concerned, where there was power, there was hope. Her experience with the graceful shutdown mechanisms built into Prothean equipment told her that the power generation would have long ago deactivated if there had been nothing actively drawing power. They fact that the survey team reported no such activity was of little consequence to the archaeologist. Their evaluation of the find had been perfunctory at best, and they had vacated the site mere hours after discovering it. Such was their haste that much of their equipment had been left behind, including the massive drilling rig that had initially exposed the site in the first place.

Liara had been hard pressed to contain her excitement when she realized that the equipment from the Human survey team was still in place. She could easily double the length of her dig with the additional equipment and supplies available to her. Her only difficulty would lay in how to change the schedule of her pickup. Therum's mining facilities were almost entirely automated, with only occasional visits from maintenance crews and survey teams. The freighters what made intermittent landings at Nova Yekaterinburg were focused on their task of getting their cargoes back to the Alliance.

The idea of having the planet practically to herself was one reason that Therum had been a temptation to the maiden. To extend the length of her dig she would likely need to send a message via one of the freighters, but the archaeologist had never bothered to learn their schedules. With no satellite coverage, the only other option would have been to physically go to Nova Yekaterinburg, but as Liara did not have access to a shuttle, crossing planetary distances would be problematic at best. She was reluctant to just leave a beacon running that broadcast "Please inform the crew of the freighter Amaris that Dr. Liara T'Soni would like to be picked up in 2182 instead of 2184". The young scientist may not have any qualms about having a hemisphere of the planet to herself, but even she knew that such a broadcast could only attract the worst kind of trouble.

That was a problem for another day. Better to see how she could capitalize on an additional two years anyway. She lay out on her bedroll, having decided early on not to go to the trouble of actually pitching her tent. It was warm enough to be comfortable in the vast chamber she occupied, and she needed no protection from the elements. This was a far cry from expeditions where she would have huddled in her tent from environs that were too hot or too cold, or others where even though she was deep underground, the work environment left her miserably wet. She smiled as she reordered the list of objectives on her pad. With the cavern thoughtfully providing a shirtsleeve environment, she would spend far less time per day on the necessities of survival. She looked forward to her productivity increasing accordingly.

She looked up from her notes. She was surrounded by compartments that looked like they could be sealed from the central area she'd made camp, but as most of the rooms were stark and empty, they were of little interest to the researcher. With a decisive nod she moved exploration further down her list, while moving "examine power systems" and "attempt access to facility main computer" to second and third. "Evaluate Human equipment and data" remained number one, as she had already found their provisions, an unappealing assortment of protein pastes and flavor packets. It would keep her alive, but the thought of such a diet did not excite her. She would intersperse her provisions with the Human, based on a preliminary expectation of stretching her Asari rations for a revised four year stay on the planet.

She deactivated her pad and rolled over, staring into the blackness above her as she waited to fall asleep. There was so much research to do. She couldn't wait to get started.

o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Shepard opened her eyes. The feeling of discontinuity wasn't nearly as strong as the last time, and she felt no disorientation. She did feel lightly restrained, and her first attempts at motion revealed the reason. Her left side was pressed against the bedrail, while on her right was the reassuring presence of Liara. The Asari was snuggled tightly against her, likely as much to compensate for the narrowness of the bed as in affection. The commander remembered sleepily inviting her onto the bed over Liara's perfunctory objections. Shepard had been embarrassed at the thought of the maiden again sleeping in a chair when Liara continued to refuse to leave the commander's company. She stared at the blue features for a time, appreciating the peaceful look on Liara's face, listening to the soft regularity of her breathing. If Shepard was correct, tonight's dream was far less traumatic than that of the night before. She leaned over and softly kissed the flawless blue cheek. _'You had already been there seventeen months before the Geth arrived,'_ Shepard shook her head in wonder. "I knew you were strong, but I had no idea you were so brave," she whispered to the sleeping Asari.

Shepard sat up slowly, carefully pulling her arm away from where it was wrapped around the maiden at her side. Her sleep adjusted eyes took in the darkened room. The lights were set to nighttime levels, and the window was polarized to near opacity. It was bright enough to tell that they were alone, and to read the chronometer where a time just before twenty-one hundred hours was visible.

She took stock for a moment. She and Liara had fallen asleep almost immediately after lunch. She felt well rested, perhaps for the first time in months. This time the feeling of wakefulness came with none of the artificial edginess she'd felt this morning. One thing was certain, she wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep.

Gently she lowered the bedrail, and after disconnecting the temporary port in her right arm from her IV, she slipped out of the bed. She turned back to Liara, and although the Asari moved slightly as she laid claim to the pillow, there was no indication that she was waking up. Shepard was relieved to see that the exhaustion so clear on the maiden's face last night was showing signs of fading.

On her feet and without supervision for the first time in days, Shepard felt confined by the hospital room. First things first, she needed something to wear that was less revealing than a a hospital gown. She cast about, and even though the room contained a closet, none of her clothing was in it. Not surprising, she realized. She had likely been admitted in her hardsuit, and would have had nothing beneath it but a compression shirt and leggings. Given how the battle with Saren had ended, it would not be unexpected if nothing had been salvageable. She returned to the bag that was obviously Liara's, something she'd discounted on her first pass. With her options limited she rationalized looking through the maiden's clothing. After all, how was she to know that Eliata's staff hadn't brought clothing for her as well?

The commandos hadn't of course, and Shepard was forced to choose between a pair of full length Asari style dresses, one of Liara's green science jumpsuits, or abandoning her quest altogether. Never being one to admit defeat easily, she decided on the jumpsuit.

She and Liara were definitely not of a size. The jumpsuit fit tightly in some places, and loosely in others. If Shepard were the kind of woman was was bothered by such things it might have slowed her down. She wasn't, and it didn't. So, Eliata and Lysliis demonstrated no small surprise when the commander burst from her hospital room wearing an ill-fitting jumpsuit and a pair of hospital slippers.

Eliata recovered immediately. "Peeress, can we be of assistance?"

Shepard attempted to suppress her restlessness as she used a playful tone to play her departure off as no big deal. "I've had enough of that room to last me a while. I'm going to take a walk."

Lysliis watched Eliata nervously as her commander tried to dissuade Shepard from her course of action. "If you need something I can arrange for it to be brought here, Commander. There is no need for you to go out at this hour."

"I don't need anything but to get out of that room, and it's barely twenty one. I'll be back soon."

Eliata pushed further. "Then one of us will accompany you."

Shepard paused. Having a chaperone was not part of her plans. "I'll be fine. You two stay with Liara. She needs her sleep."

"If that is your wish, Commander."

"It is."

Shepard strode resolutely past the pair even as Eliata was nodding in acquiescence. She needed to get away, even if only for a short while. Before she'd taken ten steps she activated her omni-tool. She scrolled through her list of contacts, looking for anyone who didn't have their public privacy settings turned off. The first she found was Wrex, and she tapped his comm code.

"Shepard!" The shout made Shepard glance over her shoulder as she turned down the volume.

"Wrex! Where are you buddy?"

The Krogan continued to shout, "Chora's Den! Toasting our victory!"

 _'After four days?'_ Shepard's estimation of her friend's drinking capacity went up a few notches. "Stay right there, Wrex."

"I'm waiting Shepard!" The comm connection closed.

 _'OK,'_ she thought as she exited the ward, _'maybe it won't exactly be a short while.'_

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

The commandos watched as the doors closed behind Shepard.

Lysliis turned to her commander. "What do we do?"

The older matron replied calmly, "The commander is not a child. She has requested that we remain here, and we will do so. Only if she has not returned within the hour, will we take action."

"And then?"

"And then we will awaken Liara."

* * *

*Still converting units of measurement for our Human readers

A/N: Assumptions here include:  
FemShep/Liara  
End of ME1 - after the Battle of the Citadel, and this is the 7th story of the _Cari'ssi'mi_ series  
(Sorry, it probably makes sense to at least read Obligations through Connections first)

Shepard is:  
Colonist / Vanguard / War Hero

Liara's timeline (birth and Normandy dates are BioWare canon)  
Born 2077  
Enters University of Thessia at Serrice: 2124 - age 47  
Completion of undergraduate studies: 2136 - age 59  
Completion of doctorate: 2156 - age 79  
Joins Normandy: 2183 - age 106 (27 years since doctorate)

As always, feedback is welcome and desired.


	6. Outing

Walking through the corridors of the hospital, Shepard could almost forget that the Citadel had only just been the location of a battle that threatened its very existence. The clean floors, the quiet background hum of machinery, and the light smell of antiseptic all added to the feeling of normalcy. The commander passed both hospital staff and the members of her Alliance security detail on her way to the lift, but no one attempted to intervene in her departure. She didn't know if it was simply because there had been no instruction covering the possibility that she might leave, but she was grateful for the lack of confrontation. She had been more than willing to play the spectre card if it had proven necessary, but she had been relieved not to have to.

The illusion of normalcy was shattered when the lift finally shuddered to a halt in Zakera Ward. She expected as much, as the lift wouldn't take her closer than nearly half a kilometer from the club. The spectre would have assumed the club itself was closed or destroyed if she hadn't known that Wrex was already there. She couldn't blame the Krogan for his choice. It wasn't as if he would have been welcomed at Flux.

Shepard sneezed violently when the doors to the lift opened. The light haze permeating the corridor was pulled into her space by the car's air filtration system. When she stepped out her nose was further assaulted with the scent of burnt insulation. She paused for a moment to evaluate the situation. When it appeared that she wasn't in any overt danger, she began walking down the passage towards her destination. The occasional spark fluttered gently down from shorts in the exposed overhead power conduits. The corridor was only lit with emergency lighting, and every visible doorway stood slightly open, their maglocks without power. Shepard wished she had something more durable than hospital slippers as she stepped carefully to avoid the few chemical puddles still remaining from the fire suppression systems. The walls were smoke stained, and laced with carbon scoring. It seemed that at least some Geth had made it this far into the wards. C-Sec obviously considered this to be a low priority area. If there had been any work yet performed by damage control teams, she could see no evidence of it.

Despite the feeling of abandonment brought on by the lack of activity in the ward, it was less than five minutes before she could hear the reassuring sounds of enthusiastic revelry. Making her way through the last poorly lit entryway revealed the familiar ramps leading the the club, one of them anyway. The far ramp and the bridge leading to it had fallen into the spaces below, another casualty of the battle.

As Shepard walked up the closest ramp, the music closed in around her, perhaps even louder than she remembered. The hard base pounding through her torso distracted her from the weeks of built up stress and worry. It was loud, so all encompassing that it was difficult for the commander to hold a coherent thought in her head.

Which was fine. She hadn't come here to think anyway.

As she finally entered the bar, the view was almost surreal. The place was open, obviously, and mostly undamaged. The bar itself was as normal, as was the side of the club on her left all the way around to the back wall and beyond. Halfway along the wall on her right there was a hole blown through the wall into the open air. The hole was easily the size of two Krogan, and was blocked off with chairs and caution tape. Both the patrons and the staff seemed to be ignoring the damage.

"Shepard!" The Krogan's bellow reached her even over the pulse of the music. Her eyes returned to the left side of the club where Wrex was sitting in the far corner. The battlemaster was visible behind a small pile of empty glasses, and had both Pressly and Alenko with him. The trio were sitting at a table for six, and even after counting Wrex twice there was still plenty of room. She walked through the bar to join them, again surprised to see Pressly in the company of the Krogan, and wondering what brought Kaidan there as well.

If the lieutenants thought anything unusual about her style of dress, they gave no indication. Then again, more than once she'd had to be reminded not to completely remove her battle gear on the way to the shower, so it would probably have taken a great deal to surprise them. They rose as one as she arrived to the table. "Shepard, Commander,".

Shepard slapped Kaidan's hand away when he tried to help her to a chair. "I'm fine, Lieutenant. I'm just stir crazy and hungry."

She watched as the lieutenant's red rimmed eyes processed her words. He didn't reply, instead going in a different direction. "You and the doctor exchanging outfits now?"

The commander cocked her head at Alenko's tone. "Have you had enough to drink Lieutenant?"

"Ha!" Wrex jumped in. "The pykak's only had one! Double ryncol! Pressly had to help him back into his chair!"

Shepard turned her head at the mention of her XO. "And you Pressly? Are you trying to out drink a Krogan?"

"No Ma'am," came his reply, the professional tone sounding more like it belonged in the CIC than in a gentleman's club in the wards. "I've had a couple, but I know my limits. Officer Vakarian asked that someone keep an eye on Wrex until you were up and around. Alenko, Adams, and I have been rotating through the detail."

"And you're just coming on?"

"Alenko just got here Commander. It's his shift. I'll stay for a while, if you don't mind, now that you're here and to make sure that Kaidan recovers from the ryncol."

"It hits Humans hard Shepard," added Wrex with a laugh. "Although Pressly's managed to handle a few over the last weeks. Want some?"

"No," replied Shepard raising her voice in the hopes it could be heard beyond the table. "What I want is a scotch and a steak." She turned back to Alenko, "and to answer your question, I'm in Liara's jumpsuit because no one thought to being my kit from the Normandy." She let her tone communicate exactly who she thought should have taken care of that detail.

"Did you hear that pup?" Wrex shouted as he clapped Alenko on the back so hard that Shepard thought he might crush Kaidan's chest against the table. "The commander wants you to take care of her laundry. Guess you should have done that before the Normandy left the station, huh?"

For the moment at least, Kaidan looked too focused on not throwing up to respond.

After a moment Shepard looked around. "How are you guys even drinking? Do we _have_ a waitress?" Her eyes scanned the room, and although several of the scantily clad servers were visible, none seemed particularly interested in their table.

"I'll get it Shepard," Wrex said as he stood. "The Hero of the Citadel is in Chora's Den," he bellowed, pointing at Shepard, "And she's thirsty! Can't someone get a drink in this varren hole?"

A very unenthusiastic looking Human waitress walked over to their table. "Hero of the Citadel, huh? Not like I haven't been hearing that for almost a week."

"But she is!" Wrex protested. "Tell her Shepard! Tell her you're the one who saved the Citadel!"

Shepard looked up at the service girl. "I am Commander Shepard, but the Alliance Navy saved the Citadel. I'm just the one who pushed the button and opened the arms to let them in."

"Yeah, right," the waitress rolled her eyes after looking the commander up and down. "Look, what do you want?"

"Scotch. Earth, if you have it, and a steak, rare."

"Kitchen's on limited power Shepard," Kaidan piped up, his head still lying on the table. "All they have is prepacs."

"Your friend's right. Scotch I can do, but anything else, you have to pick something I can flash."

"Bring me the scotch, neat."

"You got it."

o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

After a few minutes the waitress returned with Shepard's drink. The spectre picked it up, knocked it back, and slammed the shot glass back down on the table.

"Keep it coming. You now have twenty minutes."

"Twenty minutes to what?"

"Twenty minutes until that scotch hits me like a ton of bricks because I haven't eaten solid food in four days. Did I mention I wanted a steak? And that I'm an angry drunk?"

"An angry drunk!" Wrex bellowed from the other side of the table, looking around as if he was hoping someone would challenge his assertion.

"We really are having a power problem in the kitchen. I'll have to get it from another restaurant," the waitress stammered as she nervously responded. "You can't put it on the tab."

Shepard produced a credit chit and tied it to her omni-tool. "Here you go. Nineteen minutes."

"You're the nicest drunk in the world Shepard. You're friendly with everybody." Kaidan added his opinion without lifting his head from the table as the waitress hurried away.

"Hush you. She doesn't know that."

o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Shepard was happy. She was full, she was beyond a little drunk, and she'd actually gotten Pressly to sing. Not that her efforts were appreciated by any of the other patrons. In fact, she could tell from the looks their group was getting, that the room had decided that they were one of "those" parties.

Without warning, Presley rose, practically leaping to his feet.

"I believe that's enough for me Commander. If you'll excuse me, I think I'll call it a night."

Shepard turned in her chair, wondering what could have dampened her XO's mood so quickly. Sure, it had gotten a little morbid there for a while, toasting the lost, but the mood had eventually leveled out as these things always do.

As her eyes followed Pressly as he made his way to the door, she saw what had caused the lieutenant to have an urgent desire to relocate himself.

 _"Aw, shit."_

Standing in the doorway, looking the very model of Asari aristocracy, was Liara. She was flanked on either side by Eliata and Lysliis, who had changed from their civvies into their House T'Soni commando leathers, the teal stripe around their necks prominent in the neon lighting of the room.

Apparently Liara had been waiting to be noticed, as she entered the room as soon as she knew Shepard had seen her. She strode, no glided across the room, eventually stopping behind the empty chair next to Sarah.

"Shepard?" she asked.

"Oh, sorry." Shepard rose to her feet to pull out the chair for Liara. Once the maiden had seated herself the commandos moved to sit nearby, at an unoccupied table for two.

The commander felt her hand move to the back of her neck. "So, Liara, what are you..."

They were interrupted by the waitress who was practically leaning over the Asari. "Welcome Ma'am. What can I get for you tonight? Special orders are no problem."

"I require nothing out of the ordinary, thank you," replied the maiden, even as she indicated Wrex' glass with two fingers, and Shepard's with one.

"At once, Ma'am" the waitress replied as she moved to the bar at a speed faster than Shepard had seen her move all night.

"What was _that_?" the spectre demanded of Liara. "It takes us forever just to get her attention, and all you have to do is wave your fingers?"

The maiden looked Shepard up and down, with just a hit of a smile at the corners of her mouth as she took in the Commander's current appearance. "Perhaps because I am the first person to join this party who looks like they can pay for their drinks?"

"Hey now, wait just a minute..." she was interrupted again by the return of their waitress.

"Here you are Ma'am."

Shepard watched as the waitress placed another scotch in front of her, while placing a ryncol each in front of Wrex and Liara. Wrex eyed his with suspicion, probably about the same way she was looking at her scotch, while Liara took her ryncol, knocked it back, and placed the empty on the table with a bang.

"Another please."

"Yes, Ma'am."

Shepard leaned over to the maiden, surprise, worry, and awe fighting over control of her tone. "That's pretty strong stuff, Liara. Are you sure...?"

Liara placed a hand lightly over Shepard's. "I learned about drinking games by traveling with Asari commandos. They would have laughed at this ryncol."

Shepard gave the Asari a shrewd look. "And how often did you win at these games?"

Another drink appeared, and Liara made it vanish as quickly as the first. "Never." She raised her glass and shook it. "Another please."

Shepard wasn't quite certain where to go with that. Instead she tried another tactic. "Would you like something to eat?"

Liara laughed in reply. "From here? No. We ate on the way. I did not come here to eat."

"Then why did you come here?"

Liara looked at her quizzically. "I am here because you are here. I assumed you were celebrating." She paused as she took in the unconscious Alenko and Wrex' swaying silence. "I expected more, but perhaps I have arrived too late." She reached over and relieved Wrex of his drink, and finished it like the others just in time for a fourth ryncol to be placed in front of her.

Shepard watched her incredulously. "Um, are you going to keep doing that?"

"I assure you that I can keep up with whatever pace you choose to set."

"Well, I think I'm done." She pushed her scotch away from her as she wondered if Liara would grab it as well. "How many of those can you handle, anyway?"

"I am not sure Shepard. This is a lower quality beverage than I am used to." She looked again at Shepard, leaving the spectre wondering if Liara was trying to make some kind of point.

"Well, maybe tonight isn't the night to find out."

"Perhaps." The maiden indicated Alenko. "How many did the lieutenant have?"

"According to Wrex? One."

The maiden tilted her head as she considered this. "It might be appropriate to call him a cab. Wrex as well."

"I'll take care of Alenko. You settle the bill. I don't think anyone is going to bother Wrex." With that, the Krogan's face impacted with the table. "We can ask if they'll let him sleep it off where he is."

Shepard brought up her omni-tool and interfaced with the Citadel's transit system, ordering Kaidan a car to take him to the Alliance barracks. Her heart nearly stopped when she saw the total for the check floating in the interface of Liara's omni.

"Um, was the bill really seventy six hundred credits?"

"I rounded to ten thousand. The waitress seemed like a nice girl, and I doubt Wrex was an easy customer."

"I'm sorry about that."

"He is a Krogan."

"No, I meant about the bill."

"It is taken care of, Shepard. Money is the least of our problems, and the issues it can fix are among the most trivial. I will have Eliata and Lysliis take the lieutenant to his car, and then we can go."

o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Shepard looked guiltily over at Liara as she sat silently next to her in the back seat of the skycar. She was sure an explosion was coming, and in all candor, it was one that she more than deserved. She could rationalize her behavior all she wanted, but if she was honest with herself, she had known this hadn't been a good idea. Otherwise, she would have woken the maiden when she decided to leave. She would have spared Liara having to find out from the commandos that Shepard had snuck away like a wayward child, forcing Liara to come find her like a scene out of a comedy vid.

The spectre reviewed her earlier behavior. Was she _trying_ to anger Liara? Was there an ulterior motive she had let to allow herself to face? She ran through her actions from earlier. There had been little decision making, just waking up, dressing, deciding to leave. She certainly hadn't viewed the maiden's presence as burdensome, or something to be avoided. She had been happy to see Liara resting, but also knew that she would have selfishly woken her if she'd wanted the company. No she admitted, the reason she'd let the maiden sleep had been a dishonest one. She knew that Liara would have insisted that she should remain in her room, and she knew that Liara would have been right to do so. Shepard sighed. Liara had absolutely every reason to be angry with her.

Following that chain of thought, the fact that the commandos would of course have informed Liara of her departure was another obvious item she failed to account for. She'd walked out and practically waved "I'm going to go look for some trouble" in their faces. The fact that she hadn't found any was more luck than any planning on her part. She'd crossed a part of the Citadel that should have been condemned to go drinking with a Krogan who was nearly five days into what was shaping into a week long bender. Not exactly a command quality decision.

Shepard's morose musing was interrupted by the car's descent into the hospital's parking bay. Lysliis was an excellent driver, and the buffeting of the repulser fields as they interacted with the shaft into the transport bay were the first indications of motion yet that the spectre had yet sensed from the passenger compartment. The commando pulled the skycar expertly into the transit depot, and released the the clamshell even as the skycar touched down.

Lysliis exited first, followed by Shepard, Liara, and finally Eliata who sealed the car behind them, releasing it back into the Citadel's rapid transit pool. One more thing Shepard should have thought of. She could have called for a cab instead of tiptoeing ever so ridiculously through the debris-laden ward. She looked down at her hospital slippers. While Shepard saw they were relatively unscathed, she was grateful that they weren't the pair she'd "liberated" from her suite at the T'Soni estate. They might be more frilly than she would prefer, but her feet loved them. A brief smile penetrated her guilty mood. They were like walking on clouds. She hoped they were still in her cabin when the Normandy was returned to her crew.

She returned to the moment when their party stepped off the lift that carried them from the transit platform to the lobby of the hospital. Lysliis remained in the lead while Liara walked on Shepard's left. Shepard almost looked forward to an argument now. The maiden had been so quiet, so calm during the trip back. While Shepard was practically shuffling her feet, Liara strode regally, head held high. She was a vision in her stately Asari gown. The red and gold, highlighted by the silver gloves and diadem reminded Shepard of a queen of the realm, not an archaeologist who just months ago would have happily been digging in the dirt of Therum up to her elbows. She looked... beautiful, and Shepard had disappointed her.

In short order their party was checked back into the hospital, and Shepard had been shown back to her room under the disapproving stare of the Turian nurse from the night before. He handed the commander a package containing fresh hospital gown, and without a word made a circling motion with one talon, directing Shepard towards the washroom.

When she emerged, face washed, teeth brushed, and the gown eliminating anything that might have remained from her dignity, the nurse lead the reluctant spectre to her bed. Once there, the man reconnected the commander's IV to her temporary port and took her vitals. At least partially satisfied with the numbers so produced, he proceeded to record them in her chart, and gave her an admonishment to remain in her bed this time. Apparently the standing orders of the Alliance security detail now included notification of Captain Anderson if the commander attempted another field trip. With that, and a polite nod to Liara and Lysliis, the nurse existed the room.

With Shepard's medical needs having been met, Liara chose that moment to take control of the room. "Lysliis, please resume your post outside in the passageway."

"Yes, Peeress," came the prompt reply.

As the commando turned to leave, Liara addressed her again. "Lysliis?"

"Yes Peeress?"

"Please send Eliata in."

"Of course, Peeress."

Shepard watched in silence as Lysliis left the room, and was replaced moments later by the captain of House T'Soni's guard.

"How may I serve, Peeress?" the matron addressed Liara.

"I wanted to say that you and Lysliis did well this evening. There was no reason for tonight's excursion to become an event, and your discretion and professionalism helped to insure that it didn't."

"Thank you Peeress."

"Also, please have Teseka bring clothing for Sarah when she arrives for her shift tomorrow. I would like for her to have something slightly more appropriate to wear than one of my jumpsuits." She flashed the spectre the smallest of smiles, the first since leaving the club. "At some point the Alliance will remember that they have left the Commander without a uniform, but until they rectify that situation I would like for her to have some options."

"Of course, Peeress. Will there be anything else?"

No, Eliata, thank you. It is my intention to retire for the evening. You may return to your post."

"Yes, Peeress."

Shepard watched as the commando's eyes swept the space. She tried to ascertain if it was just standard threat assessment, of if Eliata was deducing where Liara would likely sleep. Whatever it was, the matron seemed to have found it satisfactory. She made eye contact with Shepard, and with a brief "Goodnight, Peeress" for her as well, exited the room.

Once the door closed behind the commando, Liara crossed between Shepard and the door, making her own trip to the washroom. Shepard began to silently count the minutes as she listened to the running water while she waited for the maiden to finish.

It wasn't long before Liara emerged, dressed in the same loose fitting sleeping gown she had been wearing when Shepard left. She took the few steps to Shepard's side, bare feet silent on the tile floor.

"Yes?" the commander prompted, having worked herself into a near frenzy of anticipatory anxiety. _"Here it comes,"_ she thought.

"Move over Shepard, I want to go to bed."

The commander was nonplussed. Even as she practically threw herself to the right side of the bed to make room for Liara, she looked at the maiden with wide eyes. "You want to go to bed?"

Liara sighed, the first emotion she'd shown in hours. "Yes, Shepard. It is nearly oh three hundred. I want to go to bed." The maiden lifted the commander's blanket and slid into the bed next to her.

Shepard's heart was still racing as she decided to test her luck. "You aren't mad at me?" She closed her eyes as the waited for the response.

Another sigh was released by the body pressed so closely against hers, but she detected no anger in it. "Did you want me to be angry with you, Shepard?"

The commander was grateful to whatever gods were watching for Liara's reasonable nature. "I thought you might be, yeah."

The Asari propped herself on her elbow as she reached to turn the commander's head to face her. "And why is that?"

The spectre didn't make eye contact. "Because I took off. Because I didn't tell you where I was going." She winced, "Because I went out drinking with a Krogan when I should have stayed here until I was released."

"Shepard."

"Yeah."

"Look at me Shepard."

The commander's gaze turned from the washroom door as she finally looked into Liara's eyes. As usual, she lost herself there. "Uh... yeah?"

"You are a grown woman, and a member of House T'Soni. I love you. I trust you. I may not always agree with your decisions, but I respect them. I know you, and I know what you mean to me. I would not try to punish you for being who you are."

Shepard tried to come with a response, tried to find something to add to the discussion, but finally just looked down in defeat.

A blue finger reached out under her chin and brought her back into eye contact with Liara. "You're obviously bothered by this Shepard. Why is this upsetting you so?"

The fight had left the spectre. "Like I said, I took off. I didn't tell you where I was going. You had to come get me."

That statement brought a raised eyebrow marking. "I had to come get you?"

"Yeah."

"So... you were not coming back?"

"What? No, of course I was coming back. I mean you had to come find..." she paused. "I don't know what I mean."

Liara took Shepard's face in her hands. "I think I can help. You left, and you feel guilty."

"Yes."

"Because you did not wake me?"

"Yeah."

"Because you thought I would want to go, and you did not want to bring me along?"

"No! Because I thought you would be upset that I was going. That you would want to talk me out of going."

Liara snorted. "And I was afraid that you did not invite me because you thought I would embarrass you, or perhaps because you thought I was boring." She laughed. "I am boring, but that is a discussion for another time. For now, your issues with disobeying medical directives should be taken up with Dr. Chakwas, not with me. I might have been annoyed at being awoken, but I would not have been angry that you wanted to go out." She paused for a moment as she considered, and then pressed even closer to the commander. "Shepard, I would never tell you how to live your life. That is part of who you are, part of who I fell in love with." She took a deep breath. "It concerns me that you believe that I think I have some authority over you."

"Sorry." Shepard looked down again.

"Shepard, no. Look at me." The maiden again waited until Shepard returned her gaze. "Would you ever try to restrict my movements? My relationships?

"What? No! Of course not."

"Then I am confused as to why you believe that I would do that to you."

Shepard took Liara's hands in her own. "You're right. It's stupid. I don't know what I was thinking. Well, maybe I do. I knew going out was a bad idea, and I thought you would be disappointed in me for going. It's like I was running away."

The maiden snorted again. "Hopefully you do not view me as a parental figure Shepard. As for running away, if that was your intent you did a ridiculously poor job of it. You called Wrex within earshot of Eliata and Lysliis, you left the privacy mode on your omni-tool off, and you charged your meal to an account I have access to." She grinned at the commander. "Perhaps I should tell the Council that their newest spectre leaves something to be desired when it comes to operating covertly."

Shepard chuckled "They'd probably cancel the award ceremony." Said spectre felt herself relaxing for the first time since leaving Chora's Den. "I'm sorry about all the fuss, and for the record, I never for an instant thought you were boring."

"Shepard." The maiden's tone had more seriousness to it this time.

"Yeah?" Sarah felt her stomach start to tighten again.

"I love you. I cannot guarantee that I will never attempt to influence your decisions, but I will never try to control your life. I just want to be part of it." The maiden paused, for a while this time before whispering, "For as long as you let me."

At that, Shepard responded. She pushed herself up on her elbow, looking down on the maiden who had lowered herself to the bed. She brought herself to Liara's lips and kissed them soundly. "I love you Liara. So much."

The maiden reached up and twirled her hand in Shepard's hair as she pulled the spectre down to her.

"Show me."

* * *

A/N: Assumptions here include:

FemShep/Liara  
End of ME1 - after the Battle of the Citadel, and this is the 7th story of the _Cari'ssi'mi_ series  
(Sorry, it probably makes sense to at least read Obligations through Connections first)

Shepard is:  
Colonist / Vanguard / War Hero

As always, feedback is welcome and desired.


	7. Remorse

The room was bright when Shepard awakened.

She hesitated before opening her eyes, putting her arm across them first, and finally opening them the smallest crack. The pain she anticipated never materialized. She opened her eyes fully, taking in the full lighting of the room, and the fact that the windows were completely depolarized, letting in the bright light of the nebula beyond.

She performed a quick self assessment. _'No headache. I'm obviously not light sensitive. My teeth don't feel like they have sweaters on them.'_ She paused. _'This has to be a first. I'll have to ask Chakwas to keep whatever was in this IV handy on the Normandy.'_ The thought made her smile inwardly at the doctor's expected reaction to the commander asking her to keep a hangover cure ready and waiting.

Her lighthearted mood dimmed slightly after a moment of thought. _'That's odd,' she reflected. "I actually haven't had a headache in a while.'_ The spectre was particularly prone to the malady, mostly because she wasn't beyond pushing herself into a headache on a fairly regular basis. This was especially true given that some of her regular behaviors included not getting enough rest, allowing herself to become too dehydrated on missions, and overall just operating at what many would consider to be a high level of stress.

She reflected on this for a moment. _'Not that I'm unhappy to be missing out on a hangover,'_ she thought. _'But I haven't had a headache in months. Not since...'_ Not since her first meld with Liara she realized. The pain left behind by the beacon on Eden Prime had left her barely able to function. Pain, nausea, and fatigue had been her constant companions since her initial contact with the Prothean communication technology. The crew would happily have attested to the irritability of their commander during this period as well. She had been just as deadly as ever, but she had decidedly not been a pleasant CO. In fact, it was only the possibility of overcoming the debilitating pain that drove her to accept one of Liara's repeated offerings to assist her in interpreting the beacon in the first place. Despite her early interest in the young Asari, it had not been a decision that she'd made lightly. Liara had kept her word though, and intruded on none of Shepard's private thoughts. This included Shepard's budding fascination with Liara herself.

It wasn't until much later, after being exposed to the Cipher that the pair had been able to make head or tails of the beacon's message, but the early relief from the torment and misery left behind by the original beacon had left her almost sobbing with relief. Whatever Liara had been able to do to help her overcome the beacon's effects on her had apparently extended into at least a temporary buffer against other headaches as well. _'No wonder I'm in such a good mood this morning,'_ she thought.

She took a deep breath as she stretched all the way down to her toes. _'OK, maybe that isn't the only reason,'_ she thought with a grin.

She sat up in bed and looked around to take in the room. As she expected when she woke up as the sole occupant of the bed, Liara was off to her right, sitting in the chair that had apparently been her territory since Shepard was admitted. The young archaeologist was back in one of her science jumpsuits and was balancing a data pad in her lap while exchanging messages with someone via her omni-tool. Liara granted her a smile as she and Liara made eye contact through the orange interface. _*Good morning Shepard*_ heard the commander even as Liara continued to type into her omni. _*You should get up. The others will be here soon.*_

 _'Others?'_ replied Shepard over the unraveling meld. She did not receive an answer, which Shepard took as Liara's way of instructing her to move, not talk. She started to slide out of the bed before realizing she wore nothing under the hospital linens. Not that she was worried about Liara, but hospital staff were notoriously unconcerned about patient privacy, commandos at the door or no. A brief investigation revealed that her hospital gown was neatly folded at the foot of the bed. She disconnected her IV for what she hoped would would be the final time. Then, with a glance at Liara, who was making an obvious show of not watching, Shepard pulled the meager garment under the covers with her and slid into it. With the barely adequate garment covering as much of her body as it could, Shepard slipped one foot to the floor, and then the other as she maneuvered her way past the bedrail and out of the bed.

She scampered to the washroom, locking the door behind her once it sealed. Hanging inside, wonder of wonders, was a hoodie sporting a Citadel emblem on the left breast in a color that Shepard would have called cerulean before meeting Liara. Also provided were a light grey t-shirt, and a pair of black cargo pants. Not the most polished ensemble she'd ever owned, but Shepard almost whooped in joy at the idea of not having to go out in public in one of the formal Asari dresses that she anticipated Liara would have had on hand.

The woman that emerged from the washroom nearly a quarter hour later bore little resemblance to the one who had arrived on the Citadel five days prior. She stood tall. The circles under her eyes were gone. She looked ready, capable, competent. She was someone you would trust to command a room, or a situation.

She was a woman who froze in trepidation upon meeting the judgmental gaze of Dr. Chakwas. She barely noticed the fact that Captain Anderson was sitting on her bed talking to Liara as they both turned to observe her entrance.

"Morning Doc," she offered, focusing for the moment on Chakwas even as her right hand leapt to the back of her neck as if of her own accord.

"Good morning, Commander," replied the doctor, stepping forward as she activated her omni-tool and waved it across Shepard to collect her vital signs.

"How are things looking?" Shepard tried to keep the conversation light.

"It's looking like the Doctor lost a bet on if she could keep you in bed for five days," offered Anderson from the other side of the room.

Chakwas answered without acknowledging the Captain's outburst. "About as well as I might have hoped, Commander. It seems that for a change when you ignored your doctor's orders it wasn't to go fight an devastating battle against overwhelming odds." She deactivated her omni-tool. "And although I wouldn't go so far as to say that your little excursion was beneficial to your overall health, it doesn't seem to have done you any harm either." She reached for the commander's right arm, taking the edge of her infusion site between her thumb and forefinger, and in one practiced motion deftly pulled it out while leaving a dollop of medi-gel behind.

Shepard took the removal as a hopeful sign. "Does that mean you're releasing me?"

"I'll give you my usual advice to get enough rest, and to not push yourself for the next 48 hours." Chakwas turned to look at Anderson and Liara, getting a head nod from the latter. "And for once, it looks like you might actually have a chance at following that advice. You have nothing but ceremonies and leave on your immediate schedule."

"Commander," Shepard changed her attention at Anderson's address. "Shepard," he started again. "The Council wants to see us this afternoon."

"To discuss the Reaper threat?" Shepard was sure that with pieces of Sovereign strewn across the wards that there was no longer any disagreement about the need for a plan for the coming onslaught.

"No," Anderson shook his head, "at least not yet. The Council wants to decorate you for your actions against Saren," He offered a sardonic half smile. "and for saving the Council."

Shepard huffed angrily. "You too? I didn't save the damn Council! The Alliance Navy did that! All I did was let them in. The Fifth Fleet lost 8 eight cruisers! I know their _names_ Anderson. Shenyang, Emden, Jakarta, Cairo, Seoul, Cape Town, Warsaw, Madrid. I _served_ aboard some of those ships, and I knew a hell of a lot of those 2400 soldiers. Hell, Captain Kirstic and I went through OCS together. That's in addition to the twenty cruisers the Turians lost. Let the Council be grateful to them. All I did was push a damn button."

Liara got up and walked around to Shepard, putting her hand on the spectre's shoulder even as Anderson replied. "We both know you did more than that Shepard, but you and I are also aware that the Council will get more use out of a live hero than a pile of smoking debris, no matter how many heroes died in it." The captain softened his tone. "There were a lot of civilian casualties too," he put his hands up at the flare of anger in Shepard's eyes. "I know you know that too, but people need a celebration more than they need to be reminded of the number of casualties we suffered saving the Citadel."

"Fine," Shepard waved her hand in dismissal. "I don't care one way or another, but I'll play my part and be the little tin soldier they so desperately need for this charade."

"It's not just the Council, Shepard," Anderson continued. "The Salarians and the Turians have honors they want to bestow upon you as well. That's in addition to what Admiral Hackett has planned."

"Yeah, he told Liara. I didn't want the first Star of Terra. Now I'll have two?" She waited for an answer to the rhetorical question and continued when she received none. "There were others who deserve it far more than I. Others who gave far more than I. I'm not in this for the glory Anderson, you know that. Why are you even letting this happen?" She felt Liara move closer, putting her other hand on Shepard's arm in an attempt add a calming influence even as the spectre raised her voice in anger and frustration.

Anderson's voice rose to match Shepard's even as he didn't allow himself to respond to her angry tone. "For the same reason the Council is, dammit. It doesn't hurt the Alliance to have the Council put a Human up on a damn pedestal. I'm sorry that you find it inconvenient, _Commander_ , but that's part of what you signed up for then you accepted becoming a spectre. It's not all pageants and parades. I lost friends on those ships too, you know. Probably more than you." He met Shepard's eyes, waited until she looked away. "I know that some details are more distasteful than others, but if the hardest part of your day is accepting the recognition and thanks of a grateful galaxy, then maybe you need to get your priorities in order."

"Fine." Shepard knew she was being disrespectful to a superior officer, and a friend, but she couldn't bring herself to back down. "I'll be there, and I'll be the poster child you need for Alliance recruitment, but I want something from you too."

"What is it, _Commander_?" Anderson was obviously growing frustrated with this exchange.

"Chief Williams. She was just as integral in stopping Saren. She gave her life to do so. She deserves a Star of Terra even more than I. Let the Alliance show some respect to a woman who gave her life trying to prove that she was good enough even if her last name was Williams."

Anderson's acrimony all but disappeared. "The Parliament has to have a vote on recipients of the Star of Terra. Even if I can pull it off, that's going to take some time."

"Take all the time you need, _sir_ ," replied Shepard, seeming at least temporarily mollified. "When is the ceremony?"

"The Council wants you, us, there at fifteen hundred. The Turian and Salarian councilors will speak first, on behalf of their races, and then the Council will present as a whole. Hackett's having the promotion ceremony put together before then, probably no later than thirteen-thirty. He wants that star on your chest and silver on your collar before you're in front of the cameras."

Liara piped up at that. "Captain. Although I am sure that Shepard would have reminded you eventually, no one has told us where her personal items are from the Normandy. I suspect you want her in uniform for the ceremony?"

Anderson seemed relieved to be discussing the details of the day's events with someone other than his currently volatile protégé. "Her uniforms and the rest of her effects are on the Everest. Can I count on you to make sure she's ready in time?"

"Of course, Captain. Admiral Hackett was going to have my personal belongings sent from the Everest to my mother's ship. Would it be too much to ask that Shepard's items be brought as well?"

"I'll make it happen," replied the captain even as he activated his omni-tool. He looked up after a moment. "Where are you docked?"

"There were no dock spaces available, so I requested a favor from Matriarch Lidanya. She has taken the Petite'aile aboard one of the Destiny Ascension's hangar bays. If you have the items delivered to the Ascension, they will make sure they are delivered to my mother's ship."

"No problem Doctor. Everything will arrive this morning." With that, he deactivated his omni-tool. "Doctor, Commander, Karin." He said goodbye to each with a nod before taking his leave.

o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

"Can you believe that?" Shepard whirled to Liara. "Can you believe what they want to do? We need to be preparing for the Reapers, not patting ourselves on our collective backs about how great we are."

Doctor Chakwas answered before Liara had a chance. "Enough of that Commander!"

Shepard turned to Chakwas in confusion. "Wha...?"

"I said enough of that Commander! The Captain stuck his neck out for you. More than once. The least you can do is perform as the Alliance asks and not behave like a petulant schoolgirl."

That brought forth Shepard's ire. "'Perform?' That's exactly what this is. A performance." She raised her arms to indicate the station all around them. "An award ceremony? Now? While the Citadel is still literally _on fire_? While thousands have yet to mourn their dead? It's unseemly!"

"And it is exactly what these people need, and you know it. I will not have you minimize their loss because you have the nerve to stand here and complain. Too many sons and daughters are being buried while you stand here and bemoan a promotion and a decoration. I won't hear it."

"Don't you get it!?" Shepard was practically wide eyed with incredulousness. "You were there! You know what we're facing! Every minute spent on this lunacy is one more minute we're not preparing the the Reapers." She turned to Liara, silent until this point. "Tell her Liara. Tell her we need to stop wasting time on this nonsense. When the Reapers arrive they aren't going to be impressed that I got another damn medal."

"Shepard..." began Liara as she reached out for the spectre.

The commander was stunned. Surely _Liara_ understood, would be by her side in this. The sadness she read in the young Asari's eyes told her that Chakwas had an ally in her position. She waited while Liara held her pose, unwilling to move forward, yet hoping for an invitation to do so.

"Fuck!" she exclaimed and stormed out the door.

Before the door closed behind her Chakwas and Liara could hear Teseka's "Peeress?" and Shepard's "Well, come on," in return.

Liara turned to Doctor Chakwas, eyes downcast. "I am sorry for Shepard's behavior. I did not expect for her to respond so strongly against the idea of receiving accolades from the Council races."

"It's all right Liara," replied Chakwas. "She knows what she has to do, and better that she work it out of her system now than when the cameras are on her."

"You... are not surprised?"

"That she's angry? No. She was even more upset when she received her first Star of Terra. The commander has a very strong concept of fairness, sharply defined ideas of right and wrong. She believes that it isn't fair that she benefit from her actions when others suffer from them - even if that suffering is not of her doing. So many died on Elysium, and she still feels incredible guilt for each and every one. That's why you never see her wear her Star. To her, it's a reminder of failure. Not success, not bravery."

"There is no way for her to save them all," murmured Liara.

"And yet she'll never stop trying." Chakwas offered a sad smile to Liara. "Why don't I help you take your and Shepard's things to your ship? That should give her a chance to cool down. You can go find her afterwards. I think at this point she needs a sympathetic ear more than she needs a kick in the backside."

o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

The Presidium commons were abuzz with activity. Even days after such a cataclysmic event as the Battle of the Citadel, there was work to be done that had nothing to do with repairs or the relief effort. The business of government, of administering thousands of systems never took a break. Citadel Spaces' member races each had their own specific needs and requirements. It was only the surety of knowledge that the Council and its delegates were available to mitigate tensions when they arose that prevented minor disagreements from becoming full blown conflict.

Doctor Liara T'Soni walked through the commons at a measured pace. Her style of dress, and the fact that she had a commando at her elbow told those around her who cared about such things that she was a person to be reckoned with. Occasionally, acolytes and cortigianas among the Asari she passed would offer _lidifemea_ , which she would acknowledge with a nod. Her mind was not on her surroundings, but rather on her Human _amasius_. It had been over an hour since Shepard's angry departure. Liara expected a relatively calm encounter when she reached Shepard, as the woman was usually unable to maintain her anger for very long. Liara was as yet unsure as to how to help her overcome her distain for the events to come long enough to partake in them without causing an incident. She shook her head. Shepard could certainly cause her a great deal of consternation, but when the time came to act, Shepard had never disappointed her. Best to focus on that for now.

Eliata moved up beside her, omni-tool active. "Sarah is 349 meters ahead Peeress."

"Thank you Eliata. Have there been any reports from Teseka?"

"No, Peeress. Should I signal her? Her location marker overlaps with Sarah's."

"No. I trust her judgement. Apparently she was able to stay with Shepard, and did not feel the need to observe from a distance. Either there is nothing to report, or she believes that it would be counterproductive to do so. We will be there soon enough."

Eventually, Sarah and Teseka came into view. They were on the forward outer ring of the Presidium. The view to Liara's left was out into space, overlooking the wards as opposed to the inner habitat ring. Shepard was leaning against the railing, elbows on the rail with the legs crossed at the ankle under her. Teseka was alongside her, but facing inward as she leaned against the rail, better positioned to observe the crowd and identity any potential threats should they arise.

From that position Teseka saw Liara's approach while Shepard did not. She pushed off from the rail. "Peeress."

Liara raised a hand before the commando could say more. "Thank you Teseka. For now, I would like some time with the commander."

"Of course Peeress." The commando joined Eliata and the pair moved to positions 20 meters to either side of Shepard and Liara.

Liara settled in next to Shepard, and leaned against the rail. Shepard obviously knew she was there, but gave no indication. For the moment, Liara chose to admire the view that Sarah found so engaging. From this height the arms of the Citadel looked like toys, as opposed to the five metropolises they actually were.

Sarah broke the silence. "Even from here, you can see the damage."

Liara only nodded. She would let Sarah get to important topics in her own time.

Shepard pointed to the ward spread out below then. "The biggest problem is the smoke. Look how it hugs the streets of the wards. The atmospheric envelope doesn't extend high enough from the surface to allow the soot and ash to dissipate. It's cost effective to keep the towers and vehicular right of ways in vacuum, but they may have to vent the pedestrian and residential areas to get rid of all that particulate mass."

After a moment Shepard turned to Liara. "You don't really care, do you."

"I do, Shepard, but there are other things I care about more."

"This is important."

"I understand your desire not leave a problem unsolved. Would you like for us to volunteer for the damage control parties? Perhaps one of the municipal engineering teams?"

"This is serious, Liara."

The Asari remained silent at her side.

"If I told you that I wanted us to help restore the Citadel, would you really let me?"

"Of course, Shepard."

"Even though you think it's a bad idea?"

"We have discussed this. I would never act to control your life."

"So you do think it's a bad idea."

Liara was silent again.

"You didn't answer."

"You did not ask me a question."

Shepard hung her head, staring at the end point where the ward below them connected to the Presidium. "There are people down there. Fighting to save lives."

"Yes, Shepard."

"I'm not more important than any of them."

"I disagree."

Shepard whirled on Liara, but the Asari didn't flinch. She knew Shepard well enough now to have expected the reaction, and she also knew that Shepard would never, ever harm her. "How can you say that? How is one person more important than any of the others. Those people are down there saving lives! I only know how to take them." She sagged after her outburst.

Liara reached out and grasped Sarah's chin, and pulled their lips together for a brief kiss. "You are more important to _me_ , Shepard."

Shepard pulled away. "That's not what I meant."

"I know, but that is what matters to me."

"You think I should do this, put on a show for the galaxy."

"It matters little what I think."

"It matters to me."

Liara offered her the softest of smiles. "Point taken." She paused. "I believe that you will do as you are asked. That you will do your duty to the Council, and to the Alliance. I also believe that you will feel guilty for doing so, and that at least some of this resistance is your way of assuaging a portion of that guilt."

"I'll do this, but I don't want to, so that makes it OK?"

Liara simply held her gaze in response.

Shepard looked away. "You know me too well."

Liara moved closer, putting her hand on the spectre's back, gently rubbing up and down. "I understand how you feel. I do. Benezia's death has left me the heir to familial wealth that places me among the most powerful Asari on Thessia. Should I rejoice? Yet my mother's actions directly caused the death of thousands, and indirectly harmed countless more. Those hardest hit were those sworn to House T'Soni. Those who Benezia, and I, should have done the most to protect. Should I walk away from my responsibilities to my House out of grief? Out of guilt?"

Shepard turned to face her again. "Of course not."

"Of course not." Liara agreed. "Instead I have asked more from those who remain than Benezia ever contemplated. I am asking House T'Soni to do no less than to save the Asari race against a foe that has not been defeated in what might very well have been tens of thousands of attempts. I have asked them to look to a Human warrior as a family member, and as a leader. I have turned them away from lives of philosophy and statecraft to lives of combatants, barely above conscripted soldiers. Tell me Shepard, have I done wrong?"

"No." Shepard's response was quieter this time, barely detectable over the noise of the crowd.

"Then why do _you_ fight it so?"

Shepard sighed, and tried to turn away. Liara stopped her, and pulled the spectre into a close embrace.

"Why Shepard?"

"Because it isn't right." She whispered. "It isn't fair." She took a breath. "Not the Alliance forces, they signed up for this. But not everyone else."

"Everyone else?"

"Somewhere down there," Shepard indicated the wards below with a tilt of her head, "some businessman was going to work. Some mother was on her way to pick up her children. Some child was going to school. Somewhere down there was where the first Geth salvo hit." The commander took a shuddering breath. "They were counting on us, on _me_ to protect them, to save them." Another breath. "I failed. And what do I get for my failure? Another fucking medal."

Liara tightened her grip on the Human. "Oh, Shepard."

"I can never save them," she whispered as Liara felt the commander's tears on her neck.

* * *

A/N: Assumptions here include:

FemShep/Liara  
End of ME1 - after the Battle of the Citadel, and this is the 7th story of the _Cari'ssi'mi_ series  
(Sorry, it probably makes sense to at least read Obligations through Connections first)

Shepard is:  
Colonist / Vanguard / War Hero

As always, feedback is welcome and desired.


	8. Allies

Liara sighed inwardly. She would have held Sarah for hours had there been time. Unfortunately, the universe was not that giving, and she well knew it. There was something driving the Human's distress, something more than just the commander's usual self depreciating nature. As much as Liara wanted to delve more deeply into what was causing Shepard's anguish, the spectre simply had too many obligations facing her this day. Liara's focus needed to be on helping her to meet them.

Still, her embrace with the Human was not something that she was looking forward to ending. Shepard's outpouring of emotion had been a long time coming. The maiden fluctuated between concern for Sarah, and happiness at being one of few, and possibly the only, person that the woman had exposed this side of herself to. There was a level of trust and faith being demonstrated by the spectre in her arms that Liara resolved not to disappoint. Shepard would probably act withdrawn and embarrassed in regards to this expression of vulnerability, but Liara was determined that she would provide the commander with no cause to regret it.

After a few more minutes of providing quiet comfort, Liara pulled back slightly, while maintaining her hold on Sarah. To her surprise, the spectre was dry eyed, and accepted the movement easily.

"Feeling better?"

Shepard was slow to answer. First, she looked as if she were seeking the answer to the question herself, then as if she were surprised by it. "Yeah. I think so."

"Are you certain? There is much to do, but only if you are ready."

Shepard looked around for a moment, taking in the people bustling around around them who paid them no mind. Then she turned back to Liara with a grin containing the tiniest hint of snark. "As much as you know that I love being the center of attention, it looks like this is a tough room."

"Tough... room?"

The commander chuckled. "Sorry. There was no way the translator was going to get that one right. It looks like everyone is ignoring us, but I'm OK with that."

Liara released Shepard as she stepped back, ready to return to the embrace if it seemed necessary. "Shall we get on with our day?" She knew Shepard was fully aware of what that day would entail, but saw no reason to list the series of events that the Human seemed to find so unpleasant.

"Why not? It's just one day."

The spectre's cheerful mask was impervious to Liara's scrutiny. She had no idea if Shepard had truly recovered from her outburst, or if she was just trying to put on a contrived front for the maiden's sake. A stray thought blindsided her. _'Is it always the mask? Am I the only person that you have allowed beneath it? Are forced cheer and the distraction of anger your tools to keep others from knowing your true feelings? To keep_ you _from facing those feelings when they surface?'_ Liara shook her head as she dismissed the thought as unworthy of the woman before her. She might have difficulty expressing vulnerability, but Shepard's feelings were true. Her joyous moments with the team, her determination to defeat Saren, her grief over losing Chief Williams, they were all real emotions, not a façade. Besides, there was no such thing as deceit in the meld. Shepard might someday be able to erect walls of privacy in her mind, but like an Asari, she would never be able to lie.

With that, Liara turned back to return the way she had come, with Shepard falling into step beside her. After a few dozen paces Eliata and Teseka arranged themselves behind them both.

It was only a moment before the commander broke the silence. "So your ship is aboard the Ascension? That's one way out of paying docking fees."

"The fees were not the issue Shepard, it was the lack of available docking space at any price."

"Lidanya could probably make a killing if she offered all the docking ports and landing bays on the Ascension to the highest bidder," the spectre offered in a joking tone.

Liara shook her head as she missed the spirit of the commander's comment. "It is unlikely that the matriarch would consider that a viable option. The Destiny Ascension is a warship, Shepard. Even Asari civilians would not be cleared for general access aboard, let alone members of other races."

"Uh hello," Shepard indicated herself by waving a hand up and down the length of her torso. "Other races."

Liara rolled her eyes, something she had found herself doing more over the last few months than at any other time in her life. "You are a Council spectre. You are also, I might add, a friend to Matriarch Lidanya."

Shepard looked askance at the doctor by her side. "I think I caught it that time. The translator hesitated for a split second before deciding on 'friend'." She ran her hand through her hair. "Wow, I wonder how often I'm saying something completely different to you from what I think I'm saying."

"And I heard a different word back from you than the one I said." She put a hand on Shepard's arm even as the spectre gave her a mortified look. "Most times it does not matter. The vocabulary chosen is usually close enough in definition that true meaning can be deduced from context." The maiden gave her a mischievous look. "And for the other times, there is always the meld."

Shepard cocked her head as she looked back at the maiden. "Hey, that's a good point. What about the meld?"

"What do you mean, Shepard?"

"I just realized that I can understand you in the meld. Without translation. In fact, you don't even sound Asari. I only hear your voice in Alliance Standard, I don't hear the Attena in the background at all." Shepard looked mildly self congratulatory for a moment, obviously pleased with herself for once not having to be reminded of the name of Liara's native tongue.

"That is because we are sharing a common nervous system in the meld, Shepard. You are not "hearing" me at all. The concepts pass between us as if you were thinking of them yourself. You process them with the language center of your brain, so the words seem to be in Standard to you, and there is no danger of miscommunication even if..." The scientist paused for a moment, not finishing her sentence.

"Even if...?" prompted Shepard.

"I was thinking that clarity of communication was assured in the meld. At least, I was always taught that was the case." The maiden's cheeks took on a purple tinge. "I had no prior experience melding with a non-Asari, but I can imagine some cases where miscommunication might still occur."

"Such as?" Shepard's tone was one of genuine interest.

"Well, if you have no word for a concept that I wish to convey, your mind would instead use a descriptive phrase. But if you were _incorrect_ in your knowledge of a definition of a word, then miscommunication would exist."

"Only if I tried to tell someone else, right?" Shepard immediately understood Liara's meaning. "I would have gotten the concept right, I just would just call it something wrong in my mind or if trying to relay it to others."

Liara nodded in agreement. "That is correct, Shepard." She paused. "There is significant research on the subject if you are interested. After all, all modern translation programs are based on Asari communication matrices."

"All?" Shepard looked incredulous.

"Certainly, Shepard. The Salarians were fortunate that the Asari were the first intelligent species they encountered. Using the meld, Asari linguists were able to translate the Salarian spoken and written languages of the time over the course of weeks."

"Sure - after they convinced that first Salarian to commit to a meld."

"I never said that mistakes were not made, but the experiences gained allowed the creation of first contact protocols that are used across Citadel Space to this day."

"Yeah. Protocols like 'shoot first and say I'm sorry later'."

"Shepard!" Liara gasped. It was the most intolerant comment Liara had ever heard the Human make.

She got a sheepish look in return. "Sorry, I'm still a bit grumpy. It's just too bad that we weren't as lucky as the Salarians."

The foursome reached an elevator and Liara palmed the contact patch for entry. She continued their conversation as the door panels retracted and they stepped inside. Liara took on a contemplative tone. "I am not certain that humanity did not achieve their best possible outcome from your race's introduction to Citadel Space." The maiden selected the Asari docks as their destination.

"I don't even know what to say to that."

"Consider this Shepard; The lives lost were tragic, of course, but as far as galactic warfare goes, the Relay 314 Incident was fairly bloodless. Humanity held their own against the Turians and their fleets to the point where they expected to have to rally their entire military to defeat you. The Asari stepped in before the conflict could escalate to that level, but not before you had _earned the respect of the Turians._ "

"Oh, sure. I can just feel the respect pouring off Sparatus every time I meet with the Council. We're practically drinking buddies."

"And Garrus?"

"That's different. He's my friend. Of course we respect each other."

"What do you think General Williams would have thought about an Alliance officer having a Turian friend?"

Shepard chuckled. "When he was alive? He would have had me shot. Now?" Shepard paused, "Now, I'd like to think he would have expected it. We have a great deal in common with the Turians, especially those of us in the military."

"Yes, and now you are building ships together. Compare humanity's experience to that of the Volus. The Volus became an associate race in Citadel Space nearly 25 centuries ago. They had an embassy on the Citadel before the Turians did. Yet now they are a client race of the Turians. The Turians _protect_ them, and _tax_ them for that privilege. The Turians themselves were not granted councilor representation until they had been members of Citadel Space for over two hundred years, and that was only because of the role they played in the Krogan Rebellions. Think about that Shepard. The Volus aren't yet considered deserving of a delegate on the Council, and the Turians had to defeat the Krogan to earn their membership. Humanity is going to be granted a councilor only 27 years after first contact, primarily because of _your_ actions. How can you believe that Humanity is not respected by the Council races in general, and the Turians specifically?"

"Primarily because of my actions? Liara, why does everyone insist that this was because of me? I'm only one person. Hackett's fleet did far more to defeat Sovereign than I did. As for how can I believe it, have you listened to any of my communications with the Council? Not a lot of respect there."

"I admit, your dialog with the Council seems to have been unusually provocative, on both sides. Still, Tevos does not appear vindictive when in private, and the Council apparently decided to allow the Normandy to proceed to Ilos unchallenged. That would have taken at least two counsellors to agree. All that aside, the point that I was trying to make was that your race is not known for its patience. Could you imagine the Alliance quietly waiting 2500 years to be recognized as a peer?"

Shepard shook her head. "Not a chance. There would have been war by the year 2300 or so."

"Shepard!" The maiden looked at the commander in shock before lowering her voice. "The Alliance would have prepared for war?"

"Ha! You think we're impatient, but would plan a war that's over a hundred years away? It takes six months just to get next year's budget approved. No Liara, there's no grand plan, I'm just speculating. Humans tend to become accustomed to changes very quickly. The benefits of membership in Citadel Space are obvious today, but in a couple of generations? Once all the colonies are up to the same standard of living as Earth? People will start clamoring for additional progress. Telling them that 'you're next in line after the Volus' wouldn't have sat well with Ma and Pa constituent. The Alliance would secede, likely would no longer consider themselves bound by the laws of Citadel Space, and they'd start activating relays again."

"And there would be war," Liara's voice remained low.

"Sure. Well, maybe. Who knows? That's a long ways off."

Liara shook her head. She didn't consider 117 years "a long ways off" at all. "But now that humanity has a councilor, you believe this is no longer likely?"

"OK, I'm not sure it was ever _likely_ , but I don't know. Maybe I'm just being a pessimist. Look how much has changed in just a few years. I'd like to think that we'll be a bit more mature by then. Either way, it looks like humanity has a voice in Council policy now. I'm not sure that's enough, but it's more than we had a few days ago."

Liara considered. Shepard's perspective of humanity was likely more accurate than her own, but the outcome she predicted seemed like a worst case scenario. "There are other considerations, Shepard. Not the least of which is that currently humanity appears to be at the forefront of the Citadel defense forces. Humanity could conceivably end up with enough influence to define Council policy, not just have a voice in it."

Shepard laughed as she turned and smiled at her. "Only an Asari would consider defining Council policy to be a possibility. Tevos leads Sparatus and Valern around like she owns them. 'As goes Thessia so goes the Council' is pretty commonly accepted."

Liara nodded her concession. "Palaven and Sur'Kesh are heavily dependent on Asari investment. It frees them to specialize in defense and research respectively, and they likely could not do so at their current levels if they had to fund everything themselves. When you're willing to let someone else subsidize your economy, you give away a great deal of self determination."

"Sure. Not only that, but when you're sitting on half the galaxy's available eezo, the threat of an embargo gets people's attention." Shepard looked askance at Liara. "I didn't know that about Palaven and Sur'Kesh, but it makes sense. I can't help but notice that the Asari are definately _not_ investing in Alliance driven ventures."

"No Shepard, they are not. Despite that, commerce with the Alliance is popular, as your people are still effectively in the market for everything. The trade triangle from Bekenstien to Illium to Sur'Kesh is the most lucrative route in the galaxy that doesn't include Thessia. That is not the same as direct investment however. Such endeavors are seen as too uncertain, at least for the time being. Humanity does not have enough of a performance history for investors who prefer to see at least 500 years of proven results before engaging in nearly any level of risk."

"And here I thought it was because Humans just weren't good enough." Shepard gave Liara a smile to reassure her that her comment wasn't serious. "I understand. Different lifespan, different worldview."

So far Liara had been grateful for the distraction their conversation had provided, but ' _the lifespan talk_ ' was definitely not the direction the wanted this discussion to go. She decided to bring the topic back on track. "On the subject of investment, consider this Shepard; Humanity's relations with the Salarians are good, with the Asari are excellent, and with the Turians are improving all the time. There are Human companies investing in ventures on all the Council worlds, as well as in the domains of several of the associate races as well. Despite humanity having relatively little wealth in comparison to the Council races, the size of humanity's investment portfolio is far out of proportion of the resources that many would consider available for such investment. It exceeds even the Volus by percentage."

The doors to the lift finally opened, and the foursome stepped out into the Asari military docks. Shepard let out a low whistle. "Holy crap. This place goes on for kilometers."

"This way, Shepard." Liara took the lead.

Shepard resumed her position on Liara's left as she continued their conversation. "Yeah, we're quite the risk takers."

"And the true power of the Council is an economic power, not a military one. How could the Council intervene in a military confrontation between Council races? The Citadel Fleet is made up of ships from the member races. It is only the economic interdependency between the species that ensures peace."

"And so long as the Asari are the wealthiest race, no one can afford to piss them off."

"For now. I believe that by the time humanity is clamoring for 'additional progress' as you say, Citadel Space will not be able to afford to let the Alliance leave. They will be as dependent on you as you are on them."

"Well not that you aren't the smartest person I know, but someone else has to be able to see that coming."

"I am sure that they do, Shepard. That does not mean that they would decide to risk anything to take advantage of the possibilities."

"You could."

Liara nodded assent. "You mean we could, but yes. That is of course if we were not spending so prodigiously in an attempt to prepare for the Reapers."

Shepard shook her head. "Dammit! How did we end up talking about this? Talk about losing focus." The spectre looked around, as if fearing a witness to her lapse of fixation on the Reaper invasion.

Liara put her hand on the commander's arm. "It is all right Shepard. It is good to distract ourselves from what is coming so long as we are still moving forward. Every moment does not need to be a battle. Life continues even as we prepare."

"I hope you're right Liara. I wish I knew how much time we have, but no matter how long it is I don't think it's going to be enough."

 _'I am not going to let her get discouraged,'_ pledged the young Asari. _'She already has enough to face today between the Council and the Alliance.'_ "What do you think of the view?" Liara prompted as another diversion.

"It's pretty amazing, even without that monster outside," Shepard indicated the Destiny Ascension, framed in the glow of the nebula. "How far to the dock?"

"Not far, Shepard. We came off the lift at the closest access."

"I wondered. The Asari docks stretch around the curve of the Presidium in both directions. We could walk for hours in here."

"The Asari docks extend a third of the circumference, but only on the outboard side. This is largely because of the space required to dock the Destiny Ascension," explained Liara.

"It's a lot more impressive than the Alliance docks." Shepard looked around. "And a lot more empty too." There were hundreds of Asari visible spread across a space that just in Shepard's line of sight could have easily held ten thousand. "Where is everyone?"

"The majority of the Asari military personnel on the station are performing search and rescue duties Shepard." She tightened her grip on the commander when Shepard tried to turn. "It makes sense. The Turian and Human fleets bore the brunt of the battle. With the Alliance currently taking on the majority of patrol duties in the nebula, most of the Asari ships have returned to their homeworlds for repair and resupply. That freed much of the Citadel contingent for civilian support." She saw a haunted look in the commander's eyes. "They do not need your help, Shepard. Everything is under control."

"I just feel so damn helpless!"

"Likely how Admiral Hackett felt while the fifth fleet waited for your signal," reminded the maiden. "Here, Shepard. This is the dock." Liara indicated a passage to their left.

"Bloody hell. This is huge too."

"I can only imagine that they need to be able to bring aboard items of significant size."

The foursome walked for a few more minutes before coming to the airlock. The hatch was enormous, but there was an Asari sized hatch inset at the bottom, which Liara opened with a wave of her omni-tool.

"Doesn't this thing have security?"

"Of course Shepard. We are expected."

Shepard looked around. "There's no one on duty at the hatch, or the gangway for that matter," She paused. "It kinda gives me the creeps."

Liara continued leading across the expanse of the airlock as she replied. "We have been monitored since we arrived at the docks. All of us have clearance. If we did not, we would have been stopped long ago. We just just have different customs. Our military traditions lend themselves more towards finesse and subtlety, and less towards ritual."

The commander considered for a moment. "I can see that. Asari military doctrine is almost entirely based on what the Alliance would call guerrilla warfare. It also explains why the uniforms are so plain."

"Correct, Shepard. Asari tend to express themselves through art and writing. Other than maidens who pursue more ostentatious career paths, most Asari do not draw attention to their physical person via flamboyant dress or behavior," she gave the commander a quick smile as she reached the inner airlock door. "Nor by standing guard over locked and monitored doors."

"Sure. Remember to tell me that 'do not draw attention to themselves' thing again the next time we're in Chora's Den."

"That will be easy Shepard," Liara held her head high as she stepped through the hatch. "As I intend to never return there."

o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Actually walking through an Asari warship was more comfortable than walking up to it, Shepard decided. Different people, different customs, but the Ascension had the feel of a ship of the line nonetheless. The crew appeared capable and busy. Most of the damage to the ship had been to the external hull, weapons, and drive systems. As a result, they passed very few indications that they were aboard a ship on the verge of destruction a mere five days before. The corridors were clean, and well lit. The walls were a creamy off-white, with the same curving supports so common in Asari architecture. Shepard found it mildly relaxing, especially when compared to the grey colors and sharp corners common on Alliance ships. The warm coloring and recessed lighting made the ship feel as much focused on comfort as being a weapon of war. The spectre found herself reminded of the T'Soni estate on Thessia.

They encountered several of the Ascension's crew while they bifurcated the ship on their way to the Petite'aile. Occasionally a crew member would notice and recognize Shepard or Liara, and offer them the sign of respect that Shepard had yet to learn how to pronounce. Liara prevented the Human from committing a faux pas by restraining her from returning the gesture the first time it happened. "It is not a salute, Shepard," the maiden had whispered even as she nodded to the crewmember.

Although she found the Ascension to be impressive, Shepard found herself looking forward to seeing Liara's ship. If this had been Lady Benezia's personal transport, the commander had every expectation that the ship would so luxurious and ornate as to be impractical. She intended to tease Liara about it for a bit before encouraging her to abandon it in favor of something more functional.

A growling stomach sidetracked her from some of the more creative descriptions she was preparing. "Liara, your ship has a galley, doesn't it?"

"Of course, Shepard. We have not yet taken provisions aboard, so there will only be the foodstuffs that were brought along from Thessia."

 _'Probably only the Asari equivalent of caviar and champagne '_ she thought. "I'm sure whatever is there will be fine. I've had to spend months living off MREs more than once. Besides, I love Asari food."

"We will have to allow for time to cook anything aboard, Shepard. If you prefer, we can simply go to one of the dining halls. The food will be of a more prosaic nature, but it will already be prepared."

"It's lunchtime on the Ascension?"

"Food is always available, Shepard. Even during battles. It is considered unrefined to allow crewmembers to go hungry."

Shepard wondered why Liara suddenly looked uncomfortable. She didn't know that the maiden was hoping that Shepard would not make the connection to how emotional she had been the first time the commander had prepared a meal for her. Sharing food was one of the ways that Asari created and maintained a sense of affinity and kinship. It was the first time she had felt close to the Human, the first time she had felt herself to be included as part of the crew of the Normandy. "So, I'd get to meet the Asari equivalent of Sergeant Crosby?

"I assure you Shepard, there is no Asari equivalent of Sergeant Crosby."

"Ok, I'm sold. Where's the dining hall?"

Liara activated her omni-tool and brought up a shipboard diagram. "There is one not far from here, Shepard. One deck below, then 80 meters in the direction we were already heading."

"Sounds good."

o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Liara could smell the dining hall before they reached it. The scent of ke'ah, while not overpowering, permeated every breath the maiden drew. Shepard also reacted to the aroma, but instead of with resignation, by quickening her pace.

They passed through the archway a little faster than Liara would have liked, preventing the dignified entrance she might have hoped for. Shepard, as usual, had little interest in appearances and was more focused on the task of getting herself fed. As such, the Human was both surprised and ill prepared for the impact her presence had on the occupants of the hall.

The dining area was large, built to the same scale as the rest of the ship. There was easily seating for five hundred Asari, although barely half that number occupied the evenly spaced rows of tables. Even with each round table capable of seating 8 Asari, many of the tables were empty as the ever communal Asari preferred to sit together. The background noise of conversation was ubiquitous without being excessive. There were no outliers here, no solitary officer working over a pad with a cup of tea beside her. Each Asari was seated with at least one companion, and many of the tables were full.

Food was available from a common serving area in the center of the room. Cooking surfaces and serving trays were on five meter tables arranged as the sides of a square with no corners, as the service tables did not meet. There were a dozen Asari within the square, cooking and serving meals to the twenty or so crew members who were not yet eating.

It was from this position, inside the service area facing outward, that allowed one crewmember to be the first to notice Shepard and Liara. Her startled realization caused others to turn, and the responses spread outward like ripples in a pond. First the gasps of recognition, then the lowering of conversations into a hushed tone, then silence. Shepard stopped short as an ocean of blue and purple faces turned towards the spectre's party.

Liara was horrified, wondering how Shepard might react to the focused attention in her current state of mind. She moved to step next to Shepard with the intention of taking her arm, or possibly holding her hand, when she was prevented from doing to by a hand on her own shoulder. She whirled and found herself looking into the eyes of Matriarch Lidanya. Liara tried to pull away, but Lidanya held firm even as the matriarch shook her head. "Let it happen," quietly prompted the captain of the Destiny Ascension.

Lidanya's tone had been soothing, but Liara's heart was racing when she turned back to the commander. Shepard had been so angry to find out she was being decorated, and that was when she had been among trusted friends! The maiden prepared herself for the possibility of having to chase Shepard if she charged from the room.

Instead, Shepard strode purposefully, if slowly, forward. One step, two steps, more. As she drew closer, the Asari who had turned to face her rose in twos and threes until they were all on their feet. When they were finished standing, Shepard stopped, just parallel with the second row of still unoccupied tables, still nearly ten meters from the closest crewmember.

Human and Asari stared at each other without words as the moment stretched. Ten seconds, fifteen. Shepard's eyes swept the crowd, while each crewmember's gazed remained fixed on on the Human in return. Liara drew a sharp breath when, as one, every Asari crewmember brought their hands together, and inclined their heads in a uniform offering of _lidifemea._ Liara's eyes were fixed on Shepard while she waited for her to respond. The Commander, for her part, squared her shoulders and straightened herself to her full height. After a moment she drew her arm into a Human style salute, which she held for three breaths. Once her arm had returned to her side, she nodded to the members of the Asari crew, recognizing the deference they had offered her, and offering her own respect in return.

As the Asari lowered their hands, several nodded to the Human in acknowledgment, while others mouthed phrases of praise or gratitude that the commander had no hope of interpreting without translation. Lidanya murmured to Liara "She has excellent instincts," even as she released Liara's shoulder. Together they moved forward to stand on either side of Shepard. Liara surreptitiously threaded her arm through the commander's, an act that was equal parts support of the Human and not-so-subtle symbol of possession to the crowd around them.

The matriarch was the first to speak. "Well done, Commander. Welcome aboard the Destiny Ascension."

Shepard resumed her course towards the food, even as she turned with one corner of her mouth curled into a grin. "Thank you, Captain. Although, it seems like with you meeting us here we just got caught raiding the pantry."

"Please feel free to partake at any time, Commander. You are our most welcome guest. Provisions are always available. I take it you are used to more structured mealtimes?"

"We don't run the kitchen around the clock, no. Still, 'raiding the pantry' has become something of a tradition on board the Normandy." Liara noticed that last comment had been directed to her, and tried to keep her blush from becoming too visible even as Lidanya recognized the commander's intent as well.

The five reached the service area, where Shepard began eagerly eyeing the selections even as she ignored the stares of those around her. She quickly made selections of petha balls, bury strips, tarne porridge, a large portion of ke'ah rolls and a saddened expression that Liara realized was caused by the absence of coffee before settling on tea. Liara took a small cup of the fruity petha and tea, while Eliata and Teseka abstained. Lidanya watched the commander choose with interest, and eventually took tea for herself. She followed Shepard and Liara's party as they moved to the closest empty table.

"You seem to have favorites among Thessian cuisine Commander."

The spectre waited for a moment to finish her first mouthful. "Not really, I like everything."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Liara always has food from Thessia aboard, but I almost never leave any of it for her." She smiled at the maiden. "She doesn't seem to mind so long as I keep the galley stocked with ice cream."

Lidanya nodded knowingly, seemingly aware of the popularity of Human dessert dishes among the Asari.

"The commander has introduced me to several Human foods, even as she has been kind enough to make certain that I would not have to eat any of the ke'ah that Sergeant Crosby prepares."

Lidanya tilted her head as she turned towards the maiden. "You don't like ke'ah?"

"I have acquired some negative association with it," Liara paused before adding in a stage whisper, "Sergeant Crosby _boils_ it."

The matriarch turned back to Shepard in amused mock horror. "And you eat it anyway?"

The spectre looked up from aggressively consuming her breakfast and shrugged. "Sure. It's better than an MRE, and anything's good with enough butter on it." She considered the food on her plate. "This _is_ a lot better though..."

Liara couldn't contain herself. "Shepard, it is supposed to be _baked_."

"Crosby must have missed that memo. I don't know why you didn't say anything. It was your cook that taught him."

The maiden sighed. "He seems so proud every time he makes a Thessian dish. I could not bring myself to criticize."

"Well, there you go. You don't eat it anyway. Unless another Asari comes aboard this can be our secret." She gave Liara a conspiratorial wink.

With her attention diverted from breakfast, Shepard cast her eyes around the room, observing that the crew around them were still giving her looks, even while trying to respect her privacy. Liara maintained a hypersensitivity to Shepard's responses while she wondered what was going through the Human's mind. _'I have to trust her,'_ she reminded herself. _'Lidanya was correct. Shepard has excellent instincts, albeit with certain blind spots.'_

Both Liara's faith and fears were confirmed with Shepard's next comment to the matriarch.

"I hope I didn't step on any toes back there. I don't mean to offend anyone."

"That would be difficult Commander. My crew and I owe you a great debt."

Shepard added a third serving of sweetener to her tea before replying. "If you owe anybody anything, it's Hackett and the Alliance Fleet. I just pushed a button."

Liara watched intently as the matriarch responded to Shepard's attempt to degrade herself. Lidanya refused to acknowledge the commander's statement, nor even permit it to be an object of discussion. She simply met Shepard's gaze while the Human grew more and more uncomfortable as she grew to realize that lessening her contribution also lessened the result of that contribution. While Shepard was forced to recognize that one such result was the continued survival of all the Asari around her, Liara saw a deep blush of embarrassment overtake the commander, forcing her to eventually look away.

The matriarch continued as if nothing had happened. "I hope that your duties will allow you to stay with us for a time. You are welcome to remain aboard for as long as you wish."

Shepard grasped onto the conversation like a drowning woman. "I'm actually surprised that you're still here. I understood that most of the Republican naval forces returned to the Republics for repair. With as much damage as the Ascension sustained I expected that you would be one of the first ships out."

"The other vessels were able to return home because we did stay behind Commander. Even damaged, the Ascension is a crucial asset in the defense of the Citadel. The Human and Turian contingents are far from full strength. The Ascension's firepower could be the difference between victory and defeat if an enemy chooses to take advantage of our current vulnerability."

Shepard leaned forward even as she lowered her tone. "You wouldn't leave even if they ordered you to, would you."

"I am the commander of the Citadel Fleet."

Shepard considered Lidanya's response, and the fact that her question had gone unanswered. "They did order you to leave, didn't they? The Council I mean, or at least Tevos."

Lidanya maintained an eloquent silence.

"That's what I thought. No wonder the Council's always so uptight. It seems everyone who reports to them disobeys their directives."

"I prefer to believe that they recruit those best able to respond correctly to a given situation."

"Uh huh."

"Shepard," Liara interjected, "Look at your own experience. You, like all spectres, are given a wide latitude and freedom of discretion in the pursuit of your objectives. Why would you believe that the matriarch's role is any different?"

Shepard looked at Lidanya with a wry smile. "I bet you wouldn't tolerate that much leeway in your orders."

"Perhaps not, but no one below me is in control of the Citadel's defense forces."

"So, why didn't you head home? You'd obviously finish your repairs more quickly in a dry dock."

"As I stated Commander. The Ascension is a critical asset in the Citadel's defense. The Citadel is my post. I would not willingly abandon it."

"And there's saving face to consider." Liara nodded in understanding as Shepard continued. "The majority of the Republic fleet may have left the theater of operations, but you can't let the Asari appear weakened, especially not in front of the Turians and the Humans. So even if you're down to just a few ships, you still have the biggest gun."

The matriarch inclined her head in agreement. "Would you have done any different?"

"Not in a million years. You can't stop there though. Hackett and Sparatus both have reasons to push their own agendas. You'll need to demonstrate that you're maintaining active control over the entire fleet, not just the Asari contingent."

"Such is my intent." She paused, considering the commander's implication. "Did you have any suggestions?"

Shepard looked back and forth between the four Asari she was seated with. When she wasn't forthcoming with a response, Liara took her hand. "It is all right Shepard. Go ahead."

"Sorry," eventually passed from the spectre's lips even as they made a sad smile. "It just seems like I'm going to be disloyal to someone, no matter what choice I make."

The matriarch seemed willing to let it pass. "I would never request that you compromise your integrity, Commander."

"Yeah, well, I think that Hackett was trying to tell me that I did that already when I accepted spectre status while maintaining my Alliance commission." She looked at Liara, and the maiden suddenly saw a bit of the shy Human peeking through, the one that used to visit her daily in her lab. "And now I have the needs of "my" household to consider as well." The maiden's heart soared at Shepard's first true acknowledgement of her role in House T'Soni.

"Look, most people on the Citadel are just happy to be alive right now, correct? They're focused on putting out fires, rebuilding residential areas, and making sure that everyone's fed. There are others who will see this as an opportunity to upset the status quo, to make sure that when the distraction of rebuilding is complete, that they'll be on top. I'm not saying that Hackett or Sparatus fall into that category, but there will certainly be people pressuring them to make sure that they use any opportunity to consolidate power for Palaven or Earth."

"And you would prefer to see Thessia's strength undiminished?"

"I would _prefer_ everyone get their heads out of their asses and prepare for the Reapers instead of all this political infighting bullshit!" Shepard realized that several heads had turned at her outburst. "Sorry." She took a sip of her nearly cold tea before continuing. "We need to make sure that those who would upset the apple cart, those that would be focused on putting themselves or their interests in power do not see this as an opportunity. One way to do that is to see the Council races working together, to see that standard operations remain unchanged." She looked pointedly at Lidanya. "They need to see that you are still in command of the fleet, and that while the makeup of that fleet may have changed, your authority over it has not. If those on the outside want to believe that's because you're Asari, or just because it's your position, I don't care. What we can't allow is visible infighting between the Council races."

"There is always infighting."

"Sure, of course there is, but it isn't overt. They aren't jockeying for position over who gets to rule the galaxy. They're focused on trade agreements and political concessions. We need to be concerned about getting our defenses back up to full strength, not pretending that it matters whose ships looked the prettiest after taking down Sovereign."

"And these are _your_ goals?" Lidanya's intent clearly indicating both Shepard and Liara.

"The commander and I had not discussed this Matriarch, but I agree. This is not a time for obvious dissent among the Council races."

"As much as it pleases me to believe that the Hero of the Citadel supports me in my duty, how do we go about reinforcing the perception that the Citadel Fleet remains under my firm control?"

Shepard flashed a grin that would frighten Krogan. "I already had an idea about that. I think now is a good time for you to inspect the Everest."

Lidanya's eyes widened. "Hackett's flagship? He'd never let me aboard."

The commander's smile became even more predatory. "Actually, I'm getting promoted today. Aboard the Everest. Family members are anticipated to attend, as well as visiting dignitaries. You would certainly qualify as a dignitary." Her eyes were downcast for a moment. The commander's tone had softened when she continued. "I didn't have any family at my swearing in, when I was commissioned after OCS, or for any of my promotions, enlisted or officer." Her eyes were shining when she turned to Liara. "I think I'd like this one to be different."

Liara took Shepard's hand in both of her own. "Of course, Shepard."

The spectre turned back to Lidanya, eyes bright with unshed tears but a smile on her face. "Hackett's going to be _so_ pissed..."

* * *

A/N: Assumptions here include:

FemShep/Liara  
Post ME1 ending - after the Battle of the Citadel, and this is the 7th story of the _Cari'ssi'mi_ series  
(Sorry, it probably makes sense to at least read Obligations through Connections first)

Shepard is:  
Colonist / Vanguard / War Hero

As always, feedback is welcome and desired.


	9. Expectations

Shepard inhaled deeply, savoring the aroma as her nose was filled with the smells of the Destiny Ascension's interpretation of breakfast. Despite Liara's earlier teasing, the spectre would freely admit that she had developed a taste for Thessian cuisine, not that she was willing to completely abandon traditional Human breakfast foods quite yet. She leaned back into her chair. For the first time in weeks she felt _good_.

Having formulated a plan had even more to do with Shepard's current sense of well being than the breakfast. Placing herself in the middle of a possible conflict between Hackett and Lidanya might not be the brightest idea she'd ever come up with, but she had come to the conclusion that it was worth the risk. Besides, Hackett was the most politically savvy officer she knew. If he didn't think it was worth the effort and potential negative perception to work closely with the rest of the Citadel Fleet then it may very well not be. The Alliance seemed bound and determined to portray her as a hero. What was the use of political capital if you were't willing to spend it? She'd certainly collected enough scars this time out that someone should have to listen to what she had to say. _'If nothing else, this might make the Alliance brass think twice about putting me front and center on their next round of "Join the Alliance, see the galaxy" propaganda'_ she thought with an ironic grin.

She glanced at her empty teacup as she decided against another cup of the truly exceptional, but sadly not caffeinated, tea. _'At least there will be coffee aboard the Everest,'_ she thought, _'even if it is synthetic.'_ She focused on what would likely be the only positive component of the afternoon's events. A lack of readily available coffee was one more thing she decided they'd have to rectify before leaving the Citadel. She hadn't been aboard the Petite'aile yet, but intended to make certain that there would be coffee aboard before she and Liara left for Thessia.

The commander's eyes swept the dining compartment while she methodically chewed on a bury strip. She deduced from the sideways glances she'd received that they weren't meant to be a finger food, but she also knew that Liara wasn't going to correct her behavior in public. Shepard again clamped down on the urge to reach over and place her hand on the maiden's arm in affection.

A pair of the Ascension's crew members had joined their table early on, leaving only the seat to Shepard's right vacant. Once the spectre had demonstrated reluctance to engage in more than the most trivial of conversations, the new arrivals had instead immersed themselves in a discourse with Eliata and Teseka. That conversation had held the commander's interest more so than listening to Liara and Lidanya discuss the events leading up to the Battle of the Citadel. Once it had become clear neither Eliata nor Teseka were interested in discussing their patrons, their discussion had gone down a meandering road of current events and military protocols. Shepard noted that although she had so far contributed very little to either exchange, the other occupants of the dining hall had rearranged themselves so that Shepard and Liara's party were at the center of the seated diners.

Shepard had followed Lidanya and Liara's discussion for as long as she could. It made her slightly uncomfortable to hear Liara recount their pursuit of Saren, no matter how flatteringly she and the Normandy crew were portrayed. Despite her mild embarrassment, she found Liara's viewpoint of the mission to be fascinating. The spectre also found it instructive to listen to a discussion between non humans that included an outsider's perception of humanity. Her Asari companions didn't seem to be filtering their dialog for her presence at all. It made Shepard feel a little like they were talking as if she wasn't present, but realized that it was probably just due to the nature of her relationships with the Asari in question. Lidanya, not surprisingly, seemed to be ill at ease with the idea of a Human councilor and Humans as members of the Citadel fleet, but Liara appeared to be working to alleviate some of her concerns, even as she agreed that humanity in general seemed to be biased in favor of itself at the expense of other races. Liara had additionally gone on to point out that other races did the same, although Shepard wasn't entirely thrilled with being compared to Liara's listed examples of the Krogan, Batarians, and Quarians. Even the Turians, Liara had gone on to remind Lidanya, were known to veer from general Citadel practice and protocol when it suited them to do so.

The overtone of the discussion soured for the commander when the maiden had gone on to agree that humanity had a way to go on the road to being a mature member of the galactic community, but both Asari conveyed a deep faith in Shepard's efforts towards that end. The spectre didn't mind the idea of being respected by the Asari in general and Lidanya in particular, but she had no interest in being seen as a hero by her girlfriend.

She looked over and caught Liara's eye. The matriarch had held the maiden's attention for a while now, but Liara still rewarded her with a smile. Shepard used the break created in the back and forth between maiden and matriarch to change the direction of their conversation towards something that she had wondered about for a while.

"Lidanya," Shepard waved her hand to encompass the occupants of the compartment. "I can't even begin to count how many different uniforms I see in here."

The matriarch turned her placid gaze to Shepard. "Each member of our military wears the colors of their home republic, Commander. That is where their allegiance lies."

Shepard nodded. She knew that, but was more interested in the implications. "If their allegiance isn't to the chain of command, then how do you maintain a reporting structure in a crew this size? I could see a scout or a frigate being entirely crewed by members of a particular republic, but that obviously isn't the case here."

"We work together better than Humans do, Shepard. We don't need a strict hierarchical order to be able to function."

"Surely that leads to inefficiencies and discord. Who would a crewperson go to for assistance? Who delegates tasks? Who provides feedback?"

"Our organizational structure is fairly flat, compared to how I understand the Alliance operates Shepard. Most of our crew work in teams, and those teams tend to be huntresses who have worked together for a long time. Such teams are typically from a single republic, with the occasional friend or bondmate as part of the unit in question."

"So you give orders to teams, instead of individuals?"

"No, when I must, I provide direction to the huntress in command of each unit."

"Those units must be immense if you command each one."

"Of course not Shepard. At last count there were 847 units attached to the Destiny Ascension. Some of them contain only a single huntress, while the commando companies number in the hundreds."

Shepard's confusion showed in her voice and on her face. "I'm confused. Where are the other officers? If each unit has a officer in command, even if that is a unit of one, then that accounts for an 8% officer to enlisted ratio. Also, it sounds like you have 847 direct subordinates. How is that manageable?"

"Again, we operate differently than you are used to, Commander. Although we Asari work extraordinarily well in small groups, it is against our nature to collaborate on a large scale. This is a hinderance that we have had to overcome to be successful as a species. Would Serrice Council or Ama-Lur Equipment have the economic influence they do if each company couldn't maintain more than a few hundred productive employees?"

"So what was your solution?"

"Information. All data regarding the ship's mission, status, and objectives is readily available to all crew members, and kept updated in real time. That allows each crew member to prioritize their own efforts based on the ship's current situation, tactical or otherwise."

"If your crew self directs, how can you assure that an individual will choose the appropriate course of action for a specific situation?"

Lidanya looked puzzled. "Appropriate by what criteria?"

"By what you want them to be doing."

"Shepard, how could I command the ship if I had to make every decision for each crew member? They know their jobs. For example, it would be ludicrous for damage control teams to wait for an order to initiate repairs if such repairs were necessary."

"And if they decide to focus on weapons when you want them to focus on propulsion?"

"I would consider that unlikely, as they will have access to the same data, processed by the same experts that I do. I need the ship in working order. The crew knows how to restore the ship to full functionality in the event of an emergency. The ship needs to be provisioned and maintained. The crew knows how to perform those functions. Would you expect that I personally oversee each order placed by procurement? That I write and approve each duty roster? I trust my crew. I have to. If I were to command as you imply, I would have very little time to strategize."

Shepard's mind returned to the number of duty rosters she'd approved since taking command of the Normandy, and had to admit to herself that the Asari's method of command had some appeal, even if it would never work on an Alliance vessel.

"I can see that you're wondering how this works for us, when your experience tells you it shouldn't. Many of my officers have worked together for hundreds of years, Shepard. They know each other well, know what to expect from each other, trust each other. An Alliance crew may be well trained, but would never have the time working together as a team that an Asari crew would. What your crew achieves with training and regulations, my crew accomplishes with centuries of experience."

"But you still needed us to defeat Sovereign."

Lidanya nodded. "Yes Shepard, we did. We are not invincible, as you well know. We are not as tactically minded as the Turians, or as willing to disregard consequence as the Salarians. That is why we work together. Citadel space is stronger with us as allies than as competitors."

"Stronger still with humanity as a Council race?"

"That remains to be seen, but your species does add a vitality to the mix that I would argue has been sorely lacking the last few centuries. I still believe that Humans have a great deal to learn in regards to behavior befitting a Council race. These will prove to be interesting times."

Shepard nodded, choosing for now to not pursue a discussion with the matriarch about the fitness of humanity to join the Council. She herself thought that they weren't ready, and every time she became slightly optimistic to the contrary, she's meet another Terra Firma nutcase or have to shoot her way out of a Cerberus enclave. Her heart just wasn't into the idea of fighting for humanity's right to join the Council.

Lidanya returned to her discussion with Liara, having decided that she has satisfied Shepard's curiosity.

As Lidanya turned away, Shepard directed her attention to those around her in the compartment, again struck by the myriad number of different uniforms. Most of the nearby crew members seemed to be attempting to listen to Lidanya's and Liara's conversation. Surely only the closest few could make out the words, but the hundreds of Asari in the room were talking in low tones nonetheless.

The vast size of the Destiny Ascension, with her thousands of crew reminded Shepard that she knew next to nothing about the ship that was soon to be her destination. Liara had referred to it as "her" ship as well as "her mother's", but Shepard had never bothered to ask for any details about the ship itself. The only thing she knew for certain that it was small enough to fit aboard the Destiny Ascension, which only meant that it was smaller than a cruiser. She chuckled. Although Benezia had certainly been wealthy enough to have been able to afford a cruiser as a personal transport, the spectre considered that unlikely. She expected to find that Liara's ship was a luxury yacht, comfortable but of little use in the coming conflict.

Thinking of the Petite'aile reminded her that it would eventually be time to get moving. She surreptitiously checked her omni-tool, and saw that she still had a little under three hours before she had to report to her ceremony. Given that she expected a bit of a delay when she arrived a the matriarch at her side, she wanted to ensure that she wasn't late to her own promotion. That is of course if she still had a commission after reporting to an Alliance warship with a pair of Asari in tow. _'Probably should let Anderson know about that when we arrive.'_ The commander made a mental note to apologize to the captain as she ran through possible outcomes of her plan. _'Hopefully he's not still angry at me, I may need his help to convince Hackett about this.'_ She felt confident her friend and mentor had forgiven her even though she didn't deserve it. He always had in the past, no matter how unjustified her outbursts.

She looked again at Liara, even as she tuned out much the conversation between the two Asari. She lost herself for a moment, falling into a reverie of watching the maiden as she debated the wisdom of aligning House T'Soni with what appeared to be Human interests. Shepard was again amazed by the many sides to the young archaeologist. So young, so inexperienced, Shepard had originally been hesitant to keep her aboard the Normandy. Her information on the Protheans had allowed the maiden to integrate herself into the Normandy's crew even as most of the crew found her naiveté and inexperience to be a handicap. Her biotics brought her into Shepard's squad, supplanting Wrex and Kaidan as the secondary biotic on missions, although most of the Humans aboard were impatient with her endless barrage of questions and comments. Shepard remembered how she initially found the Asari so endearing, how she felt compelled to protect her, to do all she could to safeguard that innocence. A comparison of the maiden in those early days, when she couldn't get Liara's shy smile out of her mind, to the person before her was almost too much of a difference for the commander to comprehend. To see Liara's intelligence, her political acumen, and the respect offered to her by powerful Asari kept bringing one specific question to mind.

 _'What the hell does she see in me?'_

Shepard knew that Liara was worried about her, and she had to admit that the worry wasn't entirely unjustified, but it also wasn't something she was going to deal with right now. Shepard sighed. They would eventually have to talk, but the spectre preferred to wait until it was just the two of them, far from prying eyes. Maybe she could put it off all the way until they reached Thessia. Liara deserved to know what she had gotten herself into.

She again caught Liara's eye, and this time pantomimed a dramatic stretch and yawn.

Liara took the hint, and rose alongside Shepard as she turned back to Lidanya. "Matriarch, I believe it is time that we left to prepare for Shepard's ceremony."

Lidanya stood as well. "Of course, Peeress. Is there anything you need?"

"No, thank you. Shepard, shall we travel together to the Everest?"

Shepard considered. "We're due aboard the Everest at 13:50*. How about you and I get there a little early so we can give Anderson and Hackett a heads up that there's a VIP coming aboard." She turned to Lidanya. "If you arrive a few minutes after us that should give them time to prepare."

Lidanya looked uncertain. "I do not believe that Admiral Hackett will appreciate being presented with my arrival as a fait accompli."

"That's why I want to get there first, so we can smooth things over if we have to." She glanced at the maiden on her left. "Besides, Hackett likes Liara. It'll be fine."

"As you say Commander." Lidanya nodded to Liara and turned to depart.

The members of the Ascension crew who had joined the table withdrew with the matriarch. That left Eliata and Teseka, who had risen with their patrons.

Shepard looked at the three Asari facing her. "Do I finally get to see this ship I've heard almost nothing about?"

Liara was able to turn away before Shepard saw her roll her eyes, but the spectre did manage to catch the smile.

o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

"It's tiny!"

"What did you expect, Shepard?"

The foursome were walking across the length of one of the Destiny Ascension's larger hangar bays, where the Petite'aile waited for them at the other side.

"I don't know Liara. I just imagined Benezia would have had a ship the size of the Normandy, or even larger. I don't think this is even as big as a corvette."

"The Petite'aile was always meant to be my ship, Shepard. Benezia had it constructed with the hope that I would use it in my archaeological endeavors." The maiden looked saddened for a moment. "I believe she meant it as a peace offering, but I was too stubborn to accept it." She took a deep breath before continuing. "Your assessment is correct about her vessel. I have not seen it, but according to the administrative fees that Noveria is charging to keep it impounded, her craft is nearly three hundred meters long. It was large enough to accommodate all of her senior staff."

"This isn't a third that size."

"Less, Shepard. The Petite'aile is 62 meters in length. The ship has a crew of four and can accommodate 8 passengers."

"Twelve people? In there? We better not bring any Krogan."

Liara blushed. "The only private stateroom is mine, Shepard. That leaves more space for other elements of the ship than you might expect."

They arrived at stairway leading to the airlock. When they reached the top, Eliata activated the airlock with a wave of her omni-tool.

Liara led the way, while Shepard let out a long low whistle when they passed from the airlock onto the main operational center of the ship.

"What does that mean Shepard?"

"It means I like it. I was afraid it would be all show and no substance, a debutante's yacht. This is... nice. Functional. It seems comfortable without being luxurious." She looked around as they started down the main corridor. "Is anyone aboard?"

Eliata answered at Liara's questioning glance. "Lysliis and Anedra are off duty Peeress, and likely asleep. Piraya, Zelana, Kenis, and Deneru are all ashore."

"They are the pilots, engineer, and cuisinier respectively Shepard."

"So, ten of us on a ship for twelve. Won't be too crowded then."

Teseka chuckled, only to receive a reproving glare from Eliata.

"What's so funny?"

"My quarters, Shepard. The take up most of the lower deck." The maiden addressed the commandos. "Thank you both. I will show Shepard to her uniform. That should be all until we are ready to depart the Citadel."

"You require nothing else Peeress?"

"Only to leave as soon after the Council ceremony as we are able. Shepard may have some Alliance business she needs to see to, but otherwise I am ready to depart."

Eliata and Teseka each offered _lidifemea_ before excusing themselves and continuing down the corridor.

"That's it?"

"Their staterooms are that way Shepard. We are going down a level." The maiden palmed open they hatch they were standing next to, revealing a compact lift.

"Cosy," commented Shepard as the door closed behind them. The lift could probably fit four Asari she thought, but it would be a near thing.

Fortunately the lift was nowhere near as slow as the one aboard the Normandy, and they reached their destination after a few seconds. The door opened on a small vestibule with a large hatch leading to the stern of the ship, and a corridor leading forward.

Liara kept her face impassive as the opened the hatch, stepping back to reveal her stateroom.

"Oh. My. God." Shepard had been impressed by the size of the bedrooms at the T'Soni estate. Those had been on the ground, where cost was the only limitation. For House T'Soni, that meant there was no limitation. Aboard ship, size was another story. Every cubic foot had an exorbitant cost associated with it. Every compartment you might want to expand meant taking space away from another. For someone who had spent the last 11 years of her life aboard ships, at nearly 1000 square feet Liara's cabin was a dream given form.

"Shepard?"

"Your cabin. It's amazing."

" _Our_ cabin Shepard."

The spectre whirled, causing Liara so take a step back in surprise. "Our cabin?"

"Well, yes," Liara stammered. "Unless you do not want to share a cabin." Even when the maiden didn't say 'Goddess' Shepard could still hear it. "As you noticed we do not have a full complement aboard and there are empty berths. Both are on this level. I will have one prepared for you."

Shepard stepped forward and took the maiden in her arms. "This is perfect Liara, really." She kissed the Asari on the tip of her nose. "I was just surprised."

Liara looked back with disbelief in her gaze. "Are you certain Shepard?"

The Human tightened her grip. "I am."

"In that case, your uniform is hanging in the washroom." She indicated the direction with a nod of her head as her arms were otherwise occupied.

Shepard turned in the direction she'd been given, and released the maiden after giving her another light kiss. She strode quickly to the hatch, and stopped with a sharp intake of breath when it opened.

The maiden rushed to join the Human. "What is wrong Shepard?"

The commander's tone was subdued. "You have a bathtub."

A hit of purple bloomed on the maiden's cheeks. "Yes, Shepard."

"On a spaceship."

"Yes, Shepard."

"Liara, no one has a bathtub on a spaceship. At the very least not one this size."

The young scientist cocked her head. "Do you mean the spaceship, or the bathtub?"

The Human didn't answer as she pulled her hoodie over her head. "I'm trying it out. You can join me if you want."

"Yes, Shepard."

The hatch whisked shut behind them.

o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

When Shepard and Liara reached the gangway to the Everest, they found Captain Anderson waiting for them.

"Sir." Shepard stopped and saluted as the captain stepped out into the docks.

"As you were Commander," replied the Captain as he returned the salute. "It's good to see you in your full dress uniform Shepard. I was beginning to wonder if I'd have to send you back for it. It's been months since I've seen you wear anything but that damn N7 hoodie."

Shepard grinned. "I've mostly gone back to BDUs sir, it seems I've lost first right to that hoodie."

The captain imparted a knowing look in Liara's direction. "Hopefully that wasn't too much of a sacrifice."

"No sir, it was worth it." She waited for a moment for the captain to go on. When he didn't, she continued; "Permission to speak freely sir?"

"That's never been a problem for you Commander."

"Yes sir, about that. I wanted to apologize for my outburst earlier. I was out of line."

Anderson waved his hand in dismissal. "I saw it coming. We _have_ met you know. As soon as I heard parliament had fast tracked a second Star of Terra for you, I knew you weren't going to take it well. The last one took eighteen months and that still wasn't enough time for you to cool down about receiving it."

"I didn't yell at you about that one sir."

Anderson smiled. "No, you didn't. Look, the Turians and Salarians are making a big deal about all of this. Arcturus decided that we had to step up too, and since you already had one Star, anything lesser would have seemed inadequate in comparison."

"I understand that sir. I'd prefer we focus our attention on the Reapers, but I also understand that recruitment and morale are important. I would never deliberately do anything that might publicly embarrass the Alliance," she paused before continuing, "Or that would embarrass you sir."

"Hell Shepard," The captain stepped forward, lowering his tone so only the three of them could hear. "You've always been a hothead. Channeling some of that righteous indignation is part of what's made you a great soldier."

Shepard pulled back, slightly uncomfortable at being forgiven so easily. "Thank you sir, but you didn't deserve to be the target of that particular tantrum." She looked back at Liara. "Neither of you did."

"I think we can safely say we're beyond that now Shepard." He glanced at his omni-tool. "We've got about 45 minutes until we get you decorated and promoted. Shall we head in?"

"Can we wait a moment sir? I have another guest coming."

Anderson almost frowned. "I understand why you'd want Dr. T'Soni here." The captain acknowledged Liara with a nod even as he kept his address formal as a concession to the petty officer of the watch stationed at the gangway to the Everest. "But there isn't time to get clearance for any other of your nonhuman crew to come aboard the Everest before the ceremony."

"Oh, it isn't a member of the Normandy crew sir," Shepard offered in the most innocent of tones. "But since Matriarch Lidanya was planning on an inspection of the Everest anyway, I didn't see any harm in inviting her."

Anderson't look became stone. "Matriarch Lidanya is planning an inspection of the Everest."

"Yes sir." Butter wouldn't melt in the commander's mouth as she looked at her omni-tool. "She should be here in about four minutes."

Shepard watched as Anderson took a deep breath before speaking, hopefully to remind himself that she was one of his best officers, in addition to being his protégé and de facto adoptive daughter. "This was your idea?"

"It seemed like the best way to demonstrate that we're playing nice with the rest of the Citadel fleet, while having as little actual impact as possible." When Anderson stood mute, she continued. "Lidanya has to be present for the Council ceremony as well sir. There isn't going to be time for anything like a true inspection. Hackett can escort her to the bridge once my promotion ceremony is over. She can be introduced to some of the Everest's officers, maybe share a cup of tea, and she'll be on her way back to Tevos with a report that humanity is doing its part for the galactic community."

"And you didn't think you might want to get authorization before committing _Admiral_ Hackett to the political shitstorm that's going to come from letting an Asari place herself at the top of the fifth fleet's chain of command? No offense, Doctor."

Liara's calm demeanor had never wavered. "None taken, Captain."

"That's the point, sir. She's already at the top of the fifth fleet's chain of command so long as it remains attached to the Citadel fleet. This lets her make that point without causing a scene. Would it be better for her to demand a formal inspection? She has that right. This way she's a visiting dignitary being offered a tour, and everyone gets what they want."

"I doubt the admiral would agree."

"The admiral can make his make his own decisions, Captain."

Anderson turned at Hackett's voice even as he joined Shepard in a salute.

Hackett returned the salutes. "As you were."

"Admiral, the commander has informed me that Matriarch Lidanya is on her way to the Everest."

"I'm aware, Captain. I'm here to meet her."

"You're aware sir?"

Hackett's eyes were on Shepard. "Lidanya called ahead. She wanted to make sure she wouldn't be intruding by attending the commander's promotion ceremony."

"I apologize sir. It was my idea."

"I assumed as much Shepard, even thought the matriarch gave no such indication. It will do the crew some good to get used to spending time around the other races in Citadel Space. Humanity has been far too insular for a race that's about to get a councilor. Having the matriarch and Dr. T'Soni as guests for your promotion is a small step in that direction. We didn't win this battle alone. The better the Alliance gets at fighting alongside the other races, the better prepared we'll be for the next engagement. Don't you agree Fleet Commander?" Hackett saluted the matriarch, who had walked up behind Shepard and Liara.

"Indeed Admiral." The matriarch acknowledged Hackett's salute with a nod. "I was pleased at how open you were to the idea of my coming aboard the Everest." She indicated the Asari standing beside her. "This is Thania Casir, my aide."

"Pleasure to meet you Ms. Casir. Your counterpart, Lieutenant Blake, is waiting for us aboard the Everest." He returned his attention to Lidanya. "I thought it best if we kept this first visit relatively informal. We can always have an official reception for you and your officers later if you'd like. I expect we'll be working together a great deal over the next several weeks."

"I look forward to it Admiral."

"Excellent. Shall we, Fleet Commander?" Hackett indicated the gangway to the Everest.

As Hackett, Lidanya, and Thania disappeared down the gangway, Anderson leaned into Shepard. "Son of a bitch. No one deserves your luck, Shepard. Not even you."

"Yes sir. I was thinking that very thing when Sovereign fell on me."

"Shall we?" His tone made it obvious he was including both women.

Shepard glanced at Liara, offering her a grin. "Let's go."

* * *

* The Citadel runs on Decimal Time, with 100 minute hours

A/N: Assumptions here include:

FemShep/Liara  
Post ME1 ending - after the Battle of the Citadel, and this is the 7th story of the _Cari'ssi'mi_ series  
(It probably makes sense to at least read Obligations through Connections first)

Shepard is:  
Colonist / Vanguard / War Hero

As always, feedback is welcome and desired.


	10. Recognition

Liara was quiet as she followed a pace behind Anderson and Shepard, her only sounds the muffed footfalls of her soft-soled flats against the deckplates. Neither the corridor Anderson had led them down nor the level of traffic were conducive to walking three abreast. If she was unhappy that her location excluded her from conversation between the commander and the captain, the view her position provided of how Shepard filled out her uniform more than made up for it.

Not that there was truly much conversation to be left out of. The Humans were chatting with each other about inconsequentials. Sporting events, the current status of common acquaintances, and playful insults were all seemingly acceptable topics in the pair's phatic communication. Liara tried to discern any purpose or pattern behind the prattle. She was finally forced to conclude that the conversation was entirely social in nature, and was not intended to relay any new or useful information. At least the tone of the conversation provided reassurance that Shepard had not damaged her relationship with the Captain.

The young archeologist had previously noticed this propensity in Sarah. The Human had difficulty with accepting silence in a social setting. Shepard would even fill a companionable interlude during a shared meal or tea with repeated questions about Liara's condition or needs. These questions would materialize even after the lack of any such requirements had been clearly established. Liara found the habit charming, even if she occasionally wished the commander could just shut up. With the available intimacy of the meld, individuals in relationships with Asari seldom had the need to engage in what Humans designated "small talk". Liara assumed that Sarah would eventually outgrow the habit, at the very least when alone in her company.

Some of Shepard's current banter was nervous release, Liara knew. The young Human had braced herself for a monumental amount of fallout from Lidanya's arrival at the Everest. When that failed to materialize, her relief had been palpable. Shepard was ever the optimist, but Liara couldn't help but be aware that even she knew inviting the Asari commander to visit the Everest had been a dicey move. Liara had seen the growing misgivings in Sarah's mind during their brief intimacy aboard the Petite'aile, as the Human questioned the wisdom behind her invitation. Shepard's nervousness had continued as Liara helped her into her dress blues. The spectre had been unable to cast off her aura of edginess until Hackett's gracious reception of Lidanya at the Human docks.

Fortunately for the retroactively insightful commander, neither Liara nor Lidanya had been willing to let events play out as they may. Both Asari had contacted Hackett independently. Lidanya call a polite request for the concession of being allowed to call upon Hackett aboard his flagship, and Liara's an entreaty for him to extend such permission. Lidanya might welcome the opportunity to publicly validate her role in the combined fleet, but she would never undermine Hackett's authority, nor risk an interspecies incident to do so. Liara had not been nearly as surprised as the matriarch at Hackett's acceptance of the request, nor did she disagree with the admiral's decision to receive the matriarch as a personal guest as opposed to as a VIP. By keeping Lidanya's visit low profile, Hackett allowed the matriarch to save face without impacting his own reputation. The admiral's response reaffirmed Liara's belief that Hackett was perhaps the most Asari-like Human in her limited experience, well able to compete with matriarchs in their own arena.

The maiden was plucked from the diversion of her thoughts when it registered that Shepard had mentioned her name in the context of the captain's enthusiasm for skyball. Neither Human turned to include her, but Liara felt the beginnings of a blush rise to her cheeks regardless. This was the second time in just over as many days that Shepard had mentioned the maiden's skyball prowess. Liara could only assume that the Human had come across some of the vids from her time at Serrice. She shouldn't have been surprised, given Shepard's exploration into her education, but she found it odd that the topic was coming up now but never had before. Sarah certainly hadn't had any recent opportunity to go delving into her past. She wondered what could have sparked the sudden focus on her athletic achievements. Given their new level of intimacy, Liara could think of any number of past experiences that would be more interesting for the spectre to investigate than her foray into amateur athletics.

Liara brought herself back to the moment. Their journey was taking longer than Liara had anticipated, Anderson's destination apparently a greater distance into the depths of the carrier than the XO's office had been. This was a part of the ship the maiden had not seen during her last visit. The passageways were cleaner, and demonstrated fewer signs of the recent battle than she had observed on her way to her breakfast with the admiral. The scientist realized this route might have been selected for that very reason, as they were likely following the same path that Hackett and Lidanya had taken only moments before.

The ship's apparent condition wasn't the only change. Liara noticed that the crew presented a different demeanor than the day before as well. Yesterday she had hardly received a second glance. Even the admiral and Commander Stewart had only occasionally been noticed and acknowledged.

Today it seemed that the crew was acutely aware of her presence. Every so often they would pass a member of the crew who would gaze upon her with a harsh intensity, as if assessing her right to be aboard the Everest. The glares reminded her of her early days aboard the Normandy, when she had practically barricaded herself behind the medbay. Shepard's stance on appropriate conduct around the nonhuman members of the team had prevented any overt action by crewmembers predisposed to intolerance. Nonetheless, the distrustful stares when the commander was absent had taken a few weeks to fade. With that history in mind, she had come prepared. Her omni-tool was already to handshake with any onboard systems that attempted to verify her security clearance and her status as a contractor for the Alliance. She had even gone so far as to attach her security badge to her dress, despite the fact that the blue and white plastic looked woefully out of place against the bright yellow and teal.

None of that seemed to help. For every smile of greeting she encountered it seemed she also received a corresponding glower. One such was so fierce that she found herself physically recoiling, having no desire to pass any closer to the crewman than she had to. She shook her head as she forced herself to focus. _'I am in no danger here, not with Shepard so close. Let them look!'_ There was no valid reason for her growing sense of unease. Besides, as she reminded herself, Lidanya must have taken this very corridor no more than than a minute before. She found herself moving a half step closer to Shepard anyway. _'If only Wrex were here.'_ The maiden had learned early on that although the Human crew on the Normandy didn't appear to have had any particular affinity for the Krogan, he had never been targeted for rude leers and comments as she had. Even before her friendship with Shepard had blossomed into something wonderful, the maiden had discovered that the Krogan's company was a redoubt against boorish behavior when Shepard was ashore.

Their progress slowed to a crawl as the trio encountered a small crowd backing up into the corridor. Liara reached out and placed her hand in the middle of Shepard's back. She drew comfort from the contact as more Humans pressed in behind them. Sarah looked back over her shoulder and flashed a reassuring smile. "We're almost in."

"I see that Shepard." The maiden tried not to let her discomfort show. Liara was ashamed that she was able to detect the slightest of tremors in her voice. She forced herself to square her shoulders, and find strength in reminding herself how she had successfully integrated into the crew of the Normandy. _'Humans are our allies, for Goddess' sake.'_ Her earlier visit with Hackett had left her ill prepared for this anxiety she found herself unexpectedly feeling.

o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

The oppressive crush only lasted a minute longer until their party had queued to the front of the crowd. From there they were quickly ushered into the compartment that was their destination. Liara remained with Shepard and Anderson as they stepped quickly away from the congested space surrounding the hatch. The Asari breathed a sigh of relief as they entered the large open space, alleviating the sensation of confinement that had begun to settle over the scientist like a blanket. She closed her eyes for the briefest of moments to let the feeling pass, before turning to evaluate the chamber in which she found herself.

One of the Everest's smaller hangars had been converted into an oversized auditorium. A medium sized stage had been placed against the forward bulkhead of the compartment. The most prominent feature was a podium bearing the Alliance seal that was centrally located upon it. A row of eleven chairs lined the rear of the stage, five on one side of the podium, six on the other. The flag and coat of arms of the Systems Alliance were affixed to the bulkhead directly behind the podium in a prominent display. Facing the stage were fifteen rows of twenty chairs, bisected by an aisle that divided the rows in half.

All of this took only a small percentage of the available space. Set away from the seating was a row of folding tables bearing beverages and hors d'oeuvres being attended by servicemen and women in dress white uniforms.

The room was far too large to be crowded, despite the several hundred people that Liara estimated were present. It was easy to pick out Lidanya, as she was the only other nonhuman visible. The matriarch was standing regally with Hackett, immersed in conversation. The maiden recognized Lieutenant Alenko as one of the officers that had joined the small group engaged with Hackett and Lidanya.

When she turned back to Shepard and Anderson, they were both waiting for her expectantly. The captain was the first to speak.

"Would you like something Doctor?" He indicated the outlay of food on display.

She offered a smile at his courtesy. "We only finished breakfast Captain, but thank you."

"Something to drink then? Shepard?"

"Come on Liara. You'll wish you had later." Shepard grabbed her arm, towing the Asari behind her.

Shepard walked Liara to one of the available servicemen serving the guests. The man had a cloth draped over one arm, and at the commander's indication, started with Liara.

"Would you like a beverage Ma'am?"

Shepard was right. After her moment of anxiety, Liara most certainly would like a beverage. She glanced at the uniform set of cups on the table before her. "Do you have any elasa?"

The man turned uncertainly to the commander, even as Liara heard Anderson emit a deep chuckle behind her.

The maiden felt Shepard's hand on her elbow. "Sorry Liara, this was all pretty impromptu, and even if there were any booze on board, most of these people," Shepard waved her arm to take in the nearly 600 or so people around them "will be going right back on duty after our little soirée." She addressed the serviceman, "What's available?"

"The usual suspects, Commander," the man began as he acknowledged Shepard, "Coffee, tea, soda, three or four kinds of juice."

Liara looked away as Shepard regarded her, seeming to recognize the Asari's undisclosed discomfiture. "What teas?"

"I think there's a breakfast and an herbal, Ma'am."

"Please bring an herbal tea for Doctor T'Soni. I'll take water."

"Captain?"

"Coffee for me, Serviceman."

"That I have sir." The steward passed Anderson a mazagran style cup, already poured. "I'll be just a moment with the rest."

 _'Three, two, one...'_ Liara counted. She didn't have long to wait.

"Are you all right Liara?" Shepard asked the question in a low tone while directing her attention around the room as if this were an ordinary conversation.

"I am fine, Shepard."

"And yet I get the feeling that you're nervous."

"It has been some time since I have been in such proximity to so many people in such a tight space."

"That's all? You seem... worried." Shepard cocked her head, as if trying to identify what was giving her the impression that Liara was in distress.

"I did not expect my reaction, but my unease is dissipating now that we are no longer in the corridor."

"If you say so, Liara." Shepard's look held disbelief.

Laura was saved from further inquiry by the arrival of their drinks. Shepard took both, thanking the steward and smelling Liara's before passing it to the maiden.

"You expect something unpalatable?" Liara attempted to distract with humor. "Surely Sergeant Crosby's influence doesn't extend as far as the Everest."

"I was just curious about what they were giving you." Shepard grinned. "Lavender, which is one of the possibilities I was hoping for. I was pretty sure they weren't going to serve chamomile tea aboard ship."

"It has mild relaxant properties," continued Shepard when it became apparent that Liara wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of asking.

"On Asari?"

"Well, maybe not, but I didn't want to give you caffeine if you're feeling anxious."

Liara sighed. "I am not anxious Shepard. If I was, it has passed now." She smiled to make sure her words carried no sting. "I appreciate it, truly, but I am fine. Perhaps my years of solitude had an an effect on me that I did not anticipate. I was surprised by my response, but now that I am aware of the possibility I can prepare for it in the future."

Shepard didn't reply, and Liara could tell that this discussion would continue when they were alone.

Anderson decided at that moment to join the conversation. "Well Doctor, it seems that congratulations are in order."

"For what, Captain?" Liara offered the captain a quizzical look.

"For being the first person able to get Shepard to apologize after she's let her self righteousness get the better of her. It usually takes at least a day for her to calm down after she loses her temper. You'll have to let me know how you did it."

Liara sipped her tea, her lips curling around the edge of her cup as she recognized an opportunity. "I can try Captain, but I have access to methods that you do not."

 _'Perhaps_ this _distraction will be enough,'_ thought the maiden as Anderson turned to regard Shepard in time to see his protégé turn, what was in Liara's opinion, was the most adorable shade of red.

"I see," said the man with a smile. "Probably not something that I can document as a standard operating procedure then? What do you think Commander?"

"Probably not, sir," the spectre sounded like she was gasping for breath.

"Well, well, well. If I lived to be a thousand, no offense to Asari lifespans Doctor. I never thought I'd see the day that someone could get Shepard to blush."

"No? I have not found it to be terribly difficult."

"Really?" He paused, as if considering his next action. "Has she ever told you her call sign when she was out in the field?"

Shepard started shaking her head violently.

"She has not."

"You should ask her sometime." The captain finished his coffee with a flourish. "It looks like we're about to get started." He offered Liara his elbow. "Doctor, I'd be honored if you'd allow me to escort you to our seats."

"Thank you, Captain."

o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Their seats ended up being among the row of chairs along the back of the stage. Anderson explained to her that one side was for the promotees, with the other for their guests and other VIPs in attendance. Anderson offered reassurances to the young doctor at his side, but Liara politely waved them off even as she thanked the captain for his concern. She'd been on stages before, addressing much larger groups. Those groups had assembled specifically to repudiate her theories.

Compared to that, this was nothing. Whatever had caused her sudden sensitivity to the prejudice of the Humans, it seemed to be behind her. She gazed out at the crowd. The seats were full, with nearly another three hundred Humans standing behind the rows of chairs.

The buzz of conversation began to subside as Lieutenant Blake stepped forward to the podium. The unassuming man cleared his throat to get everyone's attention before reading from the pad he carried.

"Good afternoon everyone. Welcome to today's promotion ceremonies. I'm sorry that we're pressed for time today." He looked at his pad again before continuing. "We're pleased that all of you could join us as we recognize several of our own; Second Lieutenant Abram Seats, Second Lieutenant Andrew Kear, First Lieutenant Hailie Calton, Staff Lieutenant Salvador Billow, Lieutenant Commander Jane Shepard, and Commander Jewel Stewart.

Before we begin, we are pleased to welcome as out guests; Matriarch Lidanya, Fleet Commander of the Citadel Defense Forces, Captain David Anderson, military liaison to the Citadel Council, Denton Stewart, Commander Stewart's husband, and Doctor Liara T'Soni of the Asari Republics. Admiral Steven Hackett, commanding officer of the Systems Alliance Fifth Fleet will officiate today's ceremonies. Ladies, gentlemen, and others, Admiral Hackett."

Hackett rose from his seat and strode to the podium as Lieutenant Blake stepped back and to the side.

Liara rose with the rest of the room. The Humans in uniform all coming to attention, with the handful of civilians interspersed among them standing in a less rigid, but no less respectful manner.

"As you were." Hackett paused for a breath as his eyes scanned the room, ensuring that he did indeed have the attention of everyone present even as his audience took their seats.

"Thank you for joining me today, as I execute one of my favorite duties as a commanding officer, recognizing the example of excellence set by our comrades. Let us begin. The Secretary of the Systems Alliance Navy, acting upon the recommendations of her officers and staff, has placed special trust and confidence in the abilities and integrity of Second Lieutenant Abram Seats. In view of these qualities, and his demonstrated potential to service in the capacity of a higher grade, Second Lieutenant Seats is authorized for immediate promotion to the permanent rank of first lieutenant, Systems Alliance Navy." Hackett looked up. "As the Admiral in command of the Systems Alliance Fifth Fleet, in recognition of the outstanding work of the officer before you, I nearby order Lieutenant Seats' promotion. Second Lieutenant Seats, step forward."

Hackett waited while the young officer quickly made his way to Hackett's side.

"In recognition that you have fulfilled tasks and duties beyond the responsibility of second lieutenant. It is with great pleasure that I bestow upon you the responsibilities, the respect, and the rank of first lieutenant." The admiral proceeded to pin the young lieutenant, stepping back when complete.

"Thank you sir," the offer replied with only a slight tremor in his voice as he saluted the admiral, and then accepted a congratulatory handshake.

Hackett then waved the young man to the podium, where the nervous first lieutenant proceeded to haltingly thank his NCOs, soldiers, and commander for their contributions to his success, and for the opportunity to work with such a fine group of professionals.

As Lieutenant Seats made his way back to his seat to the sound of polite applause, Liara leaned over to Captain Anderson.

"Is that all?"

"It's pretty abbreviated. Usually officers receive individual promotion ceremonies, but as Blake said, we're pressed for time. Almost everyone being promoted today is going to be transferred to a different ship than the one they came from immediately after we're done, to replace someone lost in the battle. Since Hackett also wanted Shepard promoted before she appears before the Council, he decided to get the whole thing done at once. We didn't have time to wait for friends or family to travel to the Citadel for more traditional events."

"So, the ceremony has been modified because Shepard needs to be promoted today?"

"That isn't the only reason, but yes."

"To the detriment of the other officers?"

"Well, Shepard doesn't have anyone to invite who isn't already on the Citadel, so that is one interpretation."

"I begin to understand the significance of the behaviors I observed in the Everest crew and how they interacted with both Shepard and I."

Anderson looked uncomfortable. "Honestly, that isn't the only reason..." He straightened up as the admiral began again.

"The Secretary of the Systems Alliance Navy, acting upon the recommendations of her officers and staff..."

o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

As someone who had to sit through graduation ceremonies several times a year during her time as a research fellow, the series of promotions didn't even come close to impacting upon Liara's patience. Hackett followed a nearly identical script for each of the six officers being promoted. The only exceptions were inviting Captain Anderson forward to pin Shepard's new rank on her, and offering the same consideration to Commander Stewart's husband during her promotion to captain.

The promotion speeches became more sophisticated as the ceremony moved up the ranks, but in each case remained mercifully short. If Shepard's speech received the least acclamation of them all, Liara was willing to accept that it was because Shepard had not served with these soldiers. Captain Stewart on the other hand, received a standing ovation, indicating her popularity with the officers and crew of the Everest. Even as Liara would have wished for such a response for Shepard, she knew that the crew of the Normandy would likely congratulate her in their own way.

When Stewart retired to her seat, Hackett returned to the podium to move the function along to the final piece of recognition on the agenda.

"Typically this medal takes at least a year to make it through the Parliamentary approval process. The fact that it didn't is a testament to the officer being decorated today."

 _'And the requirements of political expediency'_ thought Liara sourly at Hackett's pause.

"This isn't her first Star of Terra, and if that isn't enough distinction, Commander Shepard remains the only living recipient of this medal."

There was some movement among the audience at that last.

"We are here today because this woman, this Alliance naval officer, faced down what may very well have been in any other situation an insurmountable foe. This officer displayed heroism, courage under fire, and the ability to make split second decisions that will inspire other soldiers for generations. Her valor has proven worthy of our race's highest military decoration." The admiral turned to the rear of the stage. "Commander Sarah Jane Shepard, step forward."

Shepard rose smoothly, and ran her hands down her uniform to smooth it as she walked forward to join the admiral at the podium for the second time that afternoon.

Once she presented herself at attention, Hackett directed his next statements to Shepard instead of the audience.

"Commander. You intercepted Saren, interceded in the attack of the dreadnaught Sovereign, and fought your way through Geth forces to regain control of the Citadel to do so. None of these were a singular act, but taken together allowed for the lives of over thirteen million people to be saved. In honor and recognition of these actions, it is my privilege to bestow upon you the highest honor of the Systems Alliance Navy, the Star of Terra." Hackett was tall enough that Shepard did not have to lean forward as he placed the medal around her neck.

Hackett turned back to face the audience. "Ladies and Gentlemen, Commander Shepard."

The pair stood in silence for the polite round of applause.

When the applause began to wane, the admiral turned back to Shepard. "Commander. A few words please." He indicated the podium as he stood aside.

Liara sat forward, listening intently. Shepard had been the fifth to speak during the round of promotions, so the maiden had had some idea what to expect. The commander hadn't disappointed, thanking Admiral Hackett, Captain Anderson, her crew, her squad, and even the Council, although the audience had murmured in disapproval with the last. Sarah had barely spoken for more than two minutes. With charm and wit she had essentially summarized all of her accomplishments, while taking credit for none of them. Liara had some idea that this trend would continue with her decoration speech, but wondered what form that would take.

Shepard pulled a pad from inside her jacket, and placed it on the podium. Liara barely kept herself from sagging with relief at the realization that Shepard had gone to the trouble of composing a prepared speech.

Unfortunately for the maiden, Shepard never looked at it again.

"Let me begin by saying that I don't deserve this medal."

 _'Goddess...'_ Liara closed her eyes.

"My role in the events of the last few months had very little to do with my ability as a soldier, and more with recognizing and capitalizing on the abilities of the people around me."

She waited for the murmur created as a result of that statement to die down.

"As many of you know, the Normandy was never supposed to be my ship. After the events of Eden Prime, the Council saw fit to grant me the status of spectre, and the Alliance chose to move Captain Anderson to his current assignment as military liaison to the Alliance Embassy. With those changes, the Alliance allowed the Normandy to be moved from the Fifth Fleet to serve as a spectre vessel on detached duty for the Citadel Council, and I was placed in command."

"I wasn't ready."

"Saren Arterius was the youngest Turian ever accepted into the spectre corps. He had the trust of the Council. He was intelligent, he was efficient." Shepard paused, "He was ruthless."

"Once his role in the events of Eden Prime came to light, I was tasked to bring him in. The newest spectre being sent after the longest serving spectre. He had allies. He had resources. He had intelligence. I had an untested ship and a cocky attitude." Finally chuckles rippled across the audience. "I was out of my league."

"Anderson always taught me to start at the beginning, so that's what I did. I went searching for information, for leverage. I needed anything that could give me an advantage over a man who killed without cause, who hated Humans," she took a breath, "who had murdered Nihlus Kryik, a comrade that I had come to consider a friend."

"What I found were others who had equal, if not greater, claim on bringing Saren to justice. I found a Krogan battlemaster whose history with Saren left many of his companions dead. I met a Turian C-Sec officer who couldn't get past Saren's spectre immunity. I encountered a Quarian engineer who had proof of Saren's collusion with the Geth." Shepard looked back at Liara, "And finally, I rescued an Asari scientist, one whose work on the Prothean Empire was a threat to Saren. A scientist whose knowledge allowed my team to be in a position to prevent Sovereign's takeover of the Citadel. A scientist who Saren had sent a team of mercenaries to silence. Permanently."

"These courageous individuals, together with the heroic officers and servicemen of the Normandy are why I was even in a position to have an impact on the outcome of the Battle of the Citadel. These members of the Alliance include Gunnery Sergeant Ashley Williams, who gave her life to save her shipmates, and who I have recommended be awarded a Star of her own. They include Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko, Lieutenant Charles Pressly, Lieutenant Jeffrey Moreau, and others who serve in the finest tradition of the Alliance."

"The contributions didn't end there. The Asari and Turian fleets engaged Sovereign and the Geth despite being woefully outgunned. Once my team was able to unlock the relays, open the arms of the Citadel, and establish contact with the Fifth Fleet, it was Admiral Hackett who followed my recommendation that the Council be saved, that the Asari and Turian fleets be defended, and that Sovereign be the focus of the attack even as the Geth continued to destroy ships that focused on Saren's flagship instead of defending themselves."

This time the murmur in the audience didn't die down quickly, and had an angry undertone.

"Over thirteen million lives were saved on the Citadel. There were over thirty thousand survivors in the Turian Fleet, and nearly that many aboard the Asari ships. This was because of the actions of everyone in this room. This was because Humanity and the Alliance stepped up. No one held back. Look to the example of 24th Fighter Group, first to engage Sovereign, and who took eighty-five percent losses protecting the Destiny Ascension as they took the Council aboard."

"What we proved that day is that the galaxy is stronger when we work together. The Council is alive because of the people in this room. The Turian and Asari components of the Citadel Fleet still exist because of the people in this room."

"I accept this medal on behalf of the soldiers who gave their lives that day. They're who deserve this medal."

"You deserve this medal."

With that, Shepard turned and walked quietly back to her seat.

Three officers stood to applaud Shepard. Liara knew them all. Alenko, Pressly, and Adams were alone in their acclamation of the commander.

Even as Hackett took the podium to bring the ceremony to a close, the rest of the room was still cloaked in an ominous silence.

* * *

A/N: Assumptions here include:

FemShep/Liara  
Post ME1 ending - after the Battle of the Citadel, and this is the 7th story of the _Cari'ssi'mi_ series  
(It probably makes sense to at least read Obligations through Connections first)

Shepard is:  
Colonist / Vanguard / War Hero

As always, feedback is welcome and desired.

It's been brought to my attention that I haven't been customizing the author notes like I used to, nor have I been publicly responding to reviews. I apologize, and those who leave reviews know that I have been responding to them privately, as well as replying to PMs.

Some of why I stopped is because back in the days of Obligations, I had never written anything beyond the posted chapter. So, there were never any comments that I could make that could spoil anything. Now I have notes through the next three stories, all the way through the post-ME3 adventure that all of this is prequel to. Not that I don't change my mind often, but that makes a posted chapter less of an event for the narrative than it used to be.

That being said, I still love writing this story, I'm still grateful to everyone who takes the time to read it, and I hope that all of you still find it entertaining. We have been on the Citadel longer than I anticipated, but the plot demands it. Shepard has become unpopular with the Alliance, and I'm not entirely certain she'll ever be back in their good graces. Popular with the soldiers yes, but she may never be forgiven by the admiralty for what she's done and what she's going to do.

We are going to Thessia for a while before we're back to the Normandy, but before we even go there, we're going to spend at least a little time on Mindoir.

So far, there are notes for 17 chapters of Fragments.


	11. Hero

Liara was still shaken despite the overall lightening of mood in the compartment. Hackett's closing comments had mostly redirected the unity of purpose in the audience to one of pride in accomplishment from one of animosity towards Shepard. The hum of conversation amongst those still present had mostly become congratulatory. Several of the promotees were already moving around the floor of the makeshift auditorium, the recipients of toasts, compliments, and well wishes. Still, the memory remained. This had not been a safe place. For a time at least, the commander had not been surrounded by friends.

Shepard was still on the stage, standing alone, apart from the others. What was holding her back from joining her and Anderson? The look on the Commander's face defied an easy interpretation. Shepard was likely only beginning to realize the impact of the speech she had given. Liara allowed herself she smallest of smiles. The Human looked slightly lost, like she was waiting for something that refused to come. Not surprising. Shepard was always self-effacing, but something was driving this penchant in the spectre to new heights. The urge to go to her was strong, but also inappropriate. Leave was coming. There would be time to get to the heart of this oddly escalating behavior.

A bump at her elbow brought the maiden back to the moment. Anderson brought himself to his feet beside her, the Council's schedule no doubt driving home that there was necessity of movement. He turned, and with the same gracious smile as when he escorted her to their seats, offered his hand. She allowed the Human to help her to her feet even as she kept her eyes on Shepard.

"Thank you, Captain." Liara graciously nodded at the courtesy.

"Of course, Doctor." His smile reached his eyes, the man's mood adding another chip to her wall of misgiving.

She took a step beyond the captain as she looked out across the remainder of the audience. The compartment wasn't emptying as quickly as she had anticipated. There were easily four hundred Humans remaining, and refreshments were still being served.

"I thought there was a dreadful rush?"

Anderson nodded as he stepped alongside her. "There is, for some. The fleet's on twelve hour shifts until the critical repairs are complete, so many of of the crewmen in attendance have already returned to duty. The Council meeting is also a consideration. Admiral Hackett will be present when they name a Human councilor."

"And that will be...?"

The captain looked away from Liara as he answered. "Parliament has reaffirmed their confidence in Ambassador Udina."

"The Council has no obligation to accept a race's nominee. They may veto a candidate, or suggest one of their own."

If the captain recognized the young doctor's point, he gave no sign. "I'm sure parliament will accept any decision the Council makes. They aren't in a position to risk the displeasure of the Council races." He turned to look down at Liara. "I have some people I'd like to talk to before I report to the ambassador's office. Will I see you at the Council meeting?"

Now it was Liara's turn to look away. "I am sorry, but no. The Council made it a point once to prevent any overt T'Soni support for Commander Shepard. For now at least, Councilor Tevos no longer needs to make such an effort. Shepard will have to face the Council without me."

"She's not going to like that."

"Neither do I. When the Council has finished, Shepard will find me waiting for her on the Presidium. I will be ready to provide any support she requires."

The captain glanced over his shoulder at his young protégé, still a solitary figure on the stage. "After that speech, Hackett's going to want words with the commander. Privately. Would you like an escort to the Presidium?"

"I would be honored, Captain."

"I'll be just a few minutes." Anderson walked forward, jumping lightly off the front of the stage with an agility that belied his years. Liara's eyes followed until he disappeared into a knot of servicemen in front of one of the refreshment tables.

o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

"Commander" Hackett's gravely voice sounded at Shepard's ear.

"Sir." Shepard spun and saluted in one motion.

"As you were." Hackett returned, the salute, Lidanya at his side, contemplative look on her face.

"It was an extraordinary speech, Commander. Don't you think so Admiral?"

"Unexpected." The admiral's eyes never left Shepard's.

"I'm sorry sir."

"We can talk about it on the way to the Council chambers." He waited until he saw that Shepard understood the comment was not a suggestion before continuing. "I'll be escorting Matriarch Lidanya to the bridge for an introduction to Captain Fujita. From there we'll collect Ms. Casir and I'll see them both ashore."

"Yes, sir."

"I'll expect you at the gangway in twenty minutes Commander."

"Yes, sir," Shepard saluted her acknowledgement of the order.

"Dr. T'Soni is waiting for you," Hackett's tone softened as he indicated the other Asari, watching expectantly from across the stage. "You just got promoted. Enjoy it. Let her fawn over you for a while."

"Liara doesn't really 'fawn' sir, but thank you."

"You could've fooled me." The whispered comment went unheard as Shepard turned and strode briskly to Liara's side.

o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

The closer the commander came, the slower she walked. By the time she was two meters away she was barely moving. Liara shook her head in exasperation as she moved to meet the commander.

Shepard looked up through her bangs. "Hi."

"Hello Shepard."

"So, about the speech..."

"Yes?" Liara prompted when additional comments seemed unforthcoming.

"It wasn't exactly what I had planned to say."

"I know." Liara laid her hand on Shepard's shoulder and gently squeezed. "What make you change your mind? What made you say what you did?"

The answer wasn't immediately forthcoming. Eventually Shepard blew out her cheeks as her eyes found the floor. "I don't know. I couldn't help myself. I was looking out at all those faces, all those self righteous bastards. It's like I could hear them, in my head. 'The Alliance had to save the Citadel, Humans had to rescue the Council. Three decades of being on the bottom of the galactic pecking order, and suddenly everyone had to turn to the Humans for protection.' I couldn't take it. I had to make them stop."

"They were not saying anything Shepard. You were projecting."

"They _wanted_ to say it. I could _feel_ it."

"You felt your own aggravation, Shepard. Your own anger. Your frustration at others not receiving the recognition you believed they deserved. Perhaps legitimately, but I question if this was the best possible venue for such a statement."

Shepard looked up at that. "I didn't mean to embarrass you, Liara."

"I was not embarrassed."

"But?"

"I was... agitated, apprehensive. For a time it seemed that there was the potential for violence."

Shepard chuckled, some of the tightness leaving her shoulders. "They might have been upset with me Liara, but no one was going to do anything with an Admiral in the room."

"Perhaps not now, Shepard, not this day." Liara looked beyond the commander, down on the slowly dissipating crowd. "But some will remember."

"Let's not borrow trouble. We have enough to worry about with the Reapers." She joined Liara in looking out at the crowd. "I, uh, have to meet Admiral Hackett before going to the Council. Are you going to be OK by yourself?"

"I would be fine Shepard, but Captain Anderson has already offered to escort me to the Presidium once he has made his farewells."

"Perfect. Let's go find him then." Relief was obvious in the spectre's voice. Shepard led the way to the stairs on the side of the stage.

The commander was obviously beginning to realize some possible ramifications from her statements. Liara could certainly have made it off the Everest by herself. She had security clearance, she knew the way. The fact that Shepard was concerned about Liara having an escort, preferably one not from the Everest crew at that, was a clear indication that the maiden had not been overly presumptive in her assessment of the audience's reaction to Shepard's speech.

Movement snapped her back to the moment. The commander cut a dashing line across the stage. The view was a distraction, but a pleasant one. Liara was a step behind Shepard as she made it down the steps to the floor of the compartment. The commander's head was high, her stride brisk. More brisk, perhaps, than the speed that would be readily set by a maiden in a floor length dress. The vision of Shepard in her dress uniform, the quick pace, the precarious gait caused by unfamiliarly high heels all conspired to prevent the incident from being anticipated until it was already in progress.

The man checked Shepard's shoulder. Hard. The commander was spun nearly ninety degrees as the aggressive officer strode by.

"Hey!" The compartment was too loud for the word to carry far, but it got his attention.

The man turned back. Slowly, loosely clenching his fists. "You couldn't be addressing me like that, could you _Commander_?" The man leaned in, presenting his shoulder board.

"You're damn right I am. If you're going to clip me like that you better hope I don't get up, _Major_." Shepard had no problem demonstrating that she was well aware of the man's rank.

"It's a shame you're going to lose those pretty bars on the same day you got them."

Shepard moved lightly onto the balls of her feet. "You're kidding, right? I almost wish that were possible. They won't even let me refuse the awards they keep shoveling my way. Haven't you heard? I'm a fucking hero. Savior of the Citadel, Liberator of Eden Prime," the commander jerked a thumb at her chest. "That's me."

The pair kept inching closer together. Liara's eyes swiftly moved from one to the other, evaluating the situation with an ease brought on by months of practice. Shoes slipped off of feet with the slightest assistance from a biotic push. The Asari was already on Shepard's left, so she remained there. The man was leading with his right side as the pair argued. Another step to the left and Liara was in an ideal position. She was out of Shepard's potential line of attack, and would provide no obstruction to any action from the commander. If the man charged Shepard from the front or Shepard's right, he would be facing them both. If he hit from Shepard's left, he would be exposing this back to the maiden. She took deep breaths and steadied herself. A biotic display could be seen as a provocation, so she held her biotics close, waiting for the commander to commit.

She wasn't alone in waiting for the commander to be the first to take action.

"Hero? Do you have any idea how many true heroes you killed?"

"You mean how many Alliance soldiers gave their lives? Yeah, as a matter of fact I do."

"You aren't fit to wear that uniform, let alone receive a commendation. Was the first one as much of a farce? Just a way for the admiralty to play nice with the aliens?"

"I already said who I thought deserved to receive this medal. She wore this uniform with more honor than you ever could, monkey boy. She can't be here today, so I'm here for her. Too bad, actually. She could have taught you what it means to be a real marine." Shepard was leaning even further forward, she and the major almost nose to nose at this point. "Assuming you can learn, that is."

He disregarded the taunt as he growled into her face. "You talk a good game, but you don't impress me, bitch. I think you're just another alien lover. You go on about the birds, the suit rats, even the humpbacks." He made a show of scrutinizing the audience. "I guess none of them got an invite. I look around and all I see is one of the mindfuckers. I guess you didn't really care all that much about the others did you? They got the same lip service a Human does. When it came down to presenting yourself to the Admiral, appearing in front of God and everybody, you only brought your whore with you."

Shepard never replied. Instead, she simply smiled, a death's head grin. Liara had seen that smile before. Once. When the team had been on Ontarom, and the commander had held her gun on Dr. Wayne. The Asari had been certain that the man's death had been near, and she was afraid the major's end was equivalently close. Dark energy began to swirl around the commander's right arm. Just a little, a tendril here and there. Nothing showy, just the lightest of touches, like a lover's caress. "Shepard!" The hiss was meant to distract, but Shepard never turned. The young scientist wondered if the man would have time to realize what killed him before he died.

"What's going on here?" Anderson's best quarterdeck voice originated mere centimeters to her left. Liara started as an hour of tension uncoiled itself in an instant. She found herself panting in relief. The echo barely had a chance to return before Anderson was facing the major. "Is there a problem?"

"The only problem is that this puta is allowed to wear an Alliance uniform!" He spat at the captain's feet.

"You're on report, Major."

"On report? Who do you think you are? You don't outrank me. Someone needs to put this bitch in her place, and I'm just the person to do it." The major tried to shoulder his way around Anderson.

The captain grabbed the man's arm. "Hold on there."

The major tried to pull away. "This doesn't involve you, Captain!"

"Shut up, Major. If you weren't an idiot, you'd realize I'm saving your life."

"From her? Are you fucking kidding? I've got fifty kilos and twenty centimeters on her, easy."

"The last loudmouth she took out had two kilometers on her. It didn't seem to make a difference." He waved his hand in the commander's direction. "Sure, you might get lucky, maybe get a shot in, but I doubt it. Even if you do, she's going to drive her fist _through_ your chest, and her friends are going to hold any buddies you have back while she does it."

Liara glanced over her shoulder to see that Alenko, Pressly, and Adams had come up behind the commander.

"And when it's all over, and she's looking down at your bloody corpse, the only thing she's going to feel guilty about is that she did it in front of me and her friends. Then she's going to wipe off her hands, change into a clean uniform, and go appear before the Council where they're going to give her even more awards."

The major was clearly trying to hold onto his rage at this point, grasping for it even as the lack of inflammatory dialog with Shepard was no longer feeding it. For the first time, he turned his gaze from the commander to Anderson.

"That's right. You can't win this. You don't even get a pyrrhic victory. That's not how this plays out. She drops you like the bag of crap you are, and she just walks away. You know why, Major? As has been pointed out to me in excruciating detail, it's because she's a fucking spectre. There is no upside for you. She doesn't even need a reason to kill you to get away with it, let alone one like what you're trying to give her. You're dead, she goes out for a beer. That's how this ends for you."

The major pulled his arm away, successfully this time. "That's bullshit."

"No, that's a fact." Anderson brought his face in close. "I know what you were trying to do, trying to provoke Shepard, hoping she'd take a poke at you, that you could get her in the brig on assaulting a superior officer, maybe even conduct unbecoming." He looked back at Shepard, still holding a ready position behind him. "That's because you were playing a game where you thought you knew the rules. You didn't."

The major stepped back. "This isn't over."

Anderson shook his head. "You just don't get it. It was over before it began. Report to Captain Fujita, and I'll deal with you after the Council meeting. I'll let him know you're coming, and that he should thank his lucky stars that I just saved one of his officers from a messy death."

"Aggh," the major turned away, his hostility having given way to frustration.

The group waited until the officer had left the compartment. "I wasn't going to kill him, sir. Well, probably not."

Anderson spun on a calming Shepard, where she was still coming down from her own combat readiness behind him. "Don't think I don't hold you responsible for this too. You provoked this with your speech just as much as if you challenged him to take a swing at you."

"All I wanted to do was get them to recognize that humanity isn't alone in this."

Anderson waved Liara in close even as he assumed a lower tone. "You're right, we aren't. But you're too close to it right now Shepard, too wrapped up in it. If you weren't about to go on leave I'd order it myself." His next words were for Liara. "Two months. I don't want her back a day earlier."

A blue hand wrapped itself around a tan one. "I promise."

"Good!" Anderson straightened himself back to his full height. "Commander, you have a date with an admiral, which leaves me the pleasure of escorting this young lady to the Presidium." Shoes were collected, and the Captain's offered arm was gratefully accepted.

"Hey! I was going to do that."

"You should have thought about that before you pissed off the admiral, Shepard."

"She's not young, you know. She's more than twice your age." The comments impacted harmlessly on their retreating backs.

Liara gave one last glance to Shepard before they reached the hatch, release from the earlier tension adding a playfulness to her tone. "Oh Shepard, you always know what to say."

o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

The crowd drawn to the altercation had dispersed, and Shepard was left alone with the Alliance members of her crew.

Kaidan was the first to speak. "That could have gone badly Shepard."

"You think?" Shepard still wasn't sure if she was more angry at what the major called Liara, or that Anderson had stopped the fight from escalating.

"Well, for him anyway."

Shepard chuckled. "Thanks, all of you. I'm glad I didn't need your help, but I appreciate that you had my back."

"Of course, Ma'am." Pressly responded. "Major didn't have the right to say that in front of Doctor T'Soni anyway. Might be he finds himself in a bar some night with someone that will teach him some manners."

"I appreciate the thought Lieutenant, but as Liara keeps reminding me, she's capable of defending her own honor. Not that she was offended anyway. If ever there was an Asari that didn't fit the maiden stereotype, it's her."

"Makes sense," said Adams.

"Adams?"

"You're one of a kind, Ma'am. No reason to expect she wouldn't be too."

Shepard blushed as she shook her head. "All right, we're done here and I have to get to Hackett. What your plans?"

"I was going to see if I could get a seat in the audience overlooking the Council chamber. Pressly and Adams were going to head back to the barracks."

"Don't make any plans. I want to get everyone together at least once before I head out on leave."

"Should I muster the crew?"

"No Pressly, I just want to get the officers and the squad together. Well, except Joker and Chakwas anyway. I don't even have a plan yet. Just keep your ears open. I'll have an idea once I'm done with the Council."

o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Hackett stood alone on the dock, watching the repairs.

Shepard self consciously checked the time on her omni as she came up behind the Admiral. The fact that she was two minutes early did little to alleviate her worry.

"Commander," offered the admiral without turning around.

"Admiral," the response was professional. She fell in beside Hackett as he started towards the lift.

"That was an interesting address you gave today, Shepard." The admiral wasted no time getting to the point.

"I only said what I thought needed to be said." She offered no apology.

"They knew what they lost. Many of them weren't thrilled about why, but they accepted it. Some of them were probably even proud of it. The next battle might have been easier, soldiers more accepting of fighting with a Turian at their side, an Asari watching their back." A few paces passed before he continued. "But you couldn't let them get there on their own, you had to rub their noses in it when many of them were still resentful."

"They shouldn't have been resentful at all! They saved over thirteen million people!"

"They saved over two million _Humans_ , Commander. That's the point that would have been accepted. You know I don't think like that, so don't get uppity on me Commander," he said preventing her next response. "But you could have stressed the Human lives that were saved without lessening the other lives."

"That's the point, sir. It should't have mattered that two million of them were Human. They were all _people_."

Hackett regarded the commander as the called the lift. The woman had always been opinionated, hot headed, and certainly not one to back away from a fight, but this was new. There was a time, when the death of her family was still a recent wound, that Hackett thought Shepard might become one of the very racists she now railed so vehemently against. He'd have hated it, but he would have understood it. He would have worked with Anderson to make sure that she was rotated through duty assignments where such an opinion wouldn't be a problem, so as not to waste the potential of a capable officer.

The admiral was pleased that the person in front of him had overcome any lasting tendencies to blame nonhumans in general for the loss of her loved ones, but he never would have dreamed that she would become such an ardent defender of galactic cooperation.

At least not until after this mission.

The lift arrived, and the pair stepped in, both still waiting for Hackett's response. He believed he knew what the commander needed to hear, but he wasn't sure she was ready to hear it. Anderson would probably be better suited for the conversion he thought she needed, but this had to be addressed now, before she drove too deep a wedge between herself and any future she might have with the Alliance.

"Commander, you knew that speech would be received poorly, but you gave it anyway. Why?"

"As I stated Admiral, I only told them what I thought needed to be said."

"Bullshit."

"Sir?"

"You heard me, Commander. Bullshit. You knew how that speech would be received, and you gave it anyway. You weren't trying to convince anyone of your position. That speech wasn't persuasion, it was a protest. It's almost like you were hoping you would be shouted down, that you could be a martyr to your cause."

"That's not it at all, Sir."

"Isn't it?" It was all starting to come together for Hackett. "I know you didn't want that Star, but that's too bad. You know why it was important you get it as well as I do. If the Council races are going to decorate you, then your own institution can't not do the same. It's your own damn fault that you already have a Star. They couldn't give you something less for saving over 11 million nonhumans than for what you received saving hundreds of thousands of Humans. It would send the wrong message."

"That Human lives are more important Sir? That the Alliance will only do what it deems best?"

"Dammit, Human lives _are_ more important to the Alliance Navy. The Council knows that. They don't begrudge us putting our own race first. That's why each race has a military. We need to work together, but we also need to keep our own species' needs in mind. You have to have both, Shepard. The galaxy isn't suddenly black and white just because you decided it should be."

"I never said that, Sir." Shepard's response was almost unintelligible.

"You didn't have to, Commander." Hackett's frustration finally started to show. "Who was that in there? "I don't deserve this medal", "I wasn't ready", "All I had was a cocky attitude" You're damn right you had a cocky attitude. You've never backed away from a fight in your life. You were always sure, always goddamn certain you would come out on top. The odds didn't matter, the enemy didn't matter. That's why you were given command of the Normandy, why you were allowed to keep your commission even when you were made a spectre. You're the best of the best, and you damn well know it."

"I got people killed."

"YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT YOU DID."

Shepard started as Hackett shouted.

"You got people killed because you were in command. That's what command is. You know that. You've never had a problem stepping into the line of fire, and more importantly, you've always been able to get people to follow you there. Good people. People who trusted you. People like Gunny Williams. It was always a game to you and you played to win. You've taken bullets. You've lost people. You've had defeats, as well as more than your share of victories. Victories like against Sovereign. You knew damn well what our losses would be like if we saved the Council. You did it anyway. If I didn't agree with your assessment _Commander_ , I would have countermanded it. Now that it's all over, you're second guessing yourself. I don't know who that woman was on stage half an hour ago, but it wasn't the Sarah Shepard I know. I ask you again. Why? Is that who you want to be? It doesn't suit you."

"Everyone is trying to give me credit for things I didn't do. Sure, I took out some Geth. My crew and I may have even tracked down Saren, but we didn't save the Citadel."

"I'm not going to argue the point. You're struggling with something. I think I know what it is, but you have to come to terms with it yourself."

"And what is that Sir?" Sarcasm and resentment fought for control of Shepard's tone.

"Part of what made you such a good soldier is that you went into every battle, against every enemy, with the mindset that you had absolutely nothing to lose. It worked well, it suited you. You could take any risk without a second thought, and those risks usually paid off. As sorry as I am to say this, you never really cared if you came back from a mission. Now you do. I'm glad. Anderson's glad. Welcome to the Human race. Unfortunately, you haven't been able to reconcile Shepard the Human with Shepard the soldier or Shepard the hero. You need to do that Commander, and fast."

"Sir, I'm not the hero everyone is trying to make me into."

"Shepard, you are exactly the hero everyone is trying to make you into."

* * *

A/N: Assumptions here include:

FemShep/Liara  
Post ME1 ending - after the Battle of the Citadel, and this is the 7th story of the _Cari'ssi'mi_ series

Shepard is:  
Colonist / Vanguard / War Hero

As always, feedback is welcome and desired.


	12. Choices

_'Damn. Half blown out of the sky and these elevators are still the worst thing about the Citadel.'_

She tried not to think about the fires.

Shepard wasn't usually bothered by anything as inconsequential as the speed of the lift. In fact, some of the funniest lines she'd heard out of Wrex has been in response to one inane advertisement or another, foisted upon them while they were a captive audience. Today however, it was one more thing that grated on her nerves.

Shepard assumed that with only one shaft to the Citadel Tower free of debris, what few travelers there were would be relying on skycars to the transit station. She wished the admiral had also decided to go that route. They could have made the trip half a dozen times by now. Shepard glanced to her left, where a seemingly still irritated Hackett stood watching her. The arc of the presidium moved slowly past them, confirming that she was going to remain trapped with the man and his supercilious attitude for a least a few more minutes.

The spectre was beyond understanding. Their earlier conversation hadn't made any sense. Hackett was no xenophobe, the man's doctorate had been awarded from a university on Palaven! He'd met her more than halfway since she took command of the Normandy. He'd effectively been a co-conspirator in getting Lidanya on board the Everest. He'd brought Liara on as a civilian contractor. He'd even held the fifth fleet ready for her order when she'd made her run to Ilos. What changed? Had she crossed some line? Had she asked for too much? Where was his support now? Now, when she needed The Alliance to see that there was no way that humanity was going to win the upcoming battle alone? It had taken the militaries of three races to defeat Sovereign. The images from the Prothean beacons told of tens of thousands of such beings, all just one relay jump away. What if another Reaper agent was even now trying to re-activate the Citadel's hidden functionality as a relay to dark space? Hackett should be busy advocating the largest military buildup in galactic history. Instead he was going on about how she wasn't gung ho enough about missions that led to the deaths of innocents, complaining that she wasn't taking enough credit for their recent victory. Worse, he seemed to think that she had been on some kind of self destructive course to oblivion. That didn't make any sense either. Maybe she didn't always look before she leapt, but she damn sure knew how to land on her feet.

She could guess some of his motivation. Parliament had probably been thrilled with the idea that a human was being lauded as the savior of both the Council and the Citadel. Some Human politician was probably already trying to parley that into a bargaining chip in a back room negotiation somewhere. It wasn't that she didn't want the Alliance to succeed. She most certainly did. She just knew that one victory didn't suddenly mean the Alliance was ready to find its own way without Council guidance. Her brief altercation with the major was indicative of exactly the mindset she feared. One success, one victory, and the Alliance perspective was already swinging towards a perception of superiority. The fact that the Alliance Navy specifically had saved the Council only made it worse. When the Council next tried to reign humanity in, they would find that the Humans, so recently instilled with a sense of cocksure pride, would again be unwilling to listen to the voices of experience and reason.

She had counted on Hackett to be a bastion of sanity. Shepard was able to recognize that her perception was biased. She would likely never lose her feelings of rancor towards the Batarians. At the same time she could admit that humanity's policy of aggressive expansion throughout the Attican Traverse had been an act of provocation against the bellicose species. It saddened her to think that despite it all, her species was often the immature bully it was perceived to be. This could have been humanity's moment. Now, with the eyes of the galaxy upon them, it was time to demonstrate that the humanity was actually ready for the responsibility of Council representation it was about to receive.

But she knew that they weren't.

Shepard drew a handful of deep breaths. Quickly. One after another. She could feel the rage and frustration building again, and fought desperately to push it back down. She realized the pain in her right hand was the result of her nails digging deeply into her palm, such was the strength of her closed fist.

She drew another breath, and this time she held it. _'One, two, three,...'_ She slowly counted twenty in her head before she ever so slowly released it.

That was better. She could feel her heart rate dropping, the uncomfortable heat under her collar becoming less of an issue. Her frustration was feeding her anger. An anger that had been easily tapped by the major after her promotion. An anger she knew would rise again when she appeared before the Council.

Promotions, decorations, meaningless exhibitions all. Standing on a pedestal while the galaxy stood in slack jawed appreciation held no appeal to her whatsoever. She was a soldier, a protector, not a puppet to appear on someone's stage. One more ribbon, one more medal. What was that in the grand scheme of things?

Virmire. Now there was a tribute. She'd recommended Ashley for her own Star of Terra, but that was a paltry trinket in comparison. Nothing could come close to surpassing the monument that already existed in Ashley's honor. A radioactive crater, 20 clicks across, filled with the ashes of her enemies. For the first time Shepard thought about Ashley without guilt. A single act of selfless heroism, and the sergeant had washed away a generation of Williams dishonor in the cleansing flame of nuclear fire. That day had been everything she knew Ashley would have wanted it to be, an ending well worth any sacrifice. Sarah briefly found herself envious of the gunnery sergeant. No one was questioning Ashley's decision, there had been no controversy surrounding the sergeant's choice. The soldier was university lauded as a hero, and the Williams name was once again revered in the Alliance. Shepard could only hope that her own final battle would be as decisive.

Stop.

Was that where this was going? She'd lost people before. Was she now so terrified to risk another, to lose another, to cause another's death, that she would do anything to evade that anguish? Was that why she was trying so hard to avoid any credit for the Battle of the Citadel? Because in so doing she also avoided any blame? She snorted, eliciting a raised eyebrow from the admiral. As Hackett had so eloquently pointed out, losing people was practically a normal occurrence for her. Williams, Jenkins, Benezia, and a myriad of others dotted a crooked path all the way back to her family. If anything, the fact that her decisions led to the deaths of others was the natural order of things. This should hardly be a surprise, and certainly not a reason for her to suddenly become less of a soldier. Absolutely not a reason to choose the ultimate way out.

The tragically sluggish elevator finally shimmed to a sputtering halt, derailing the commanders self destructive train of thought. The doors hesitated before finally opening ever so slowly onto the Council chamber, at the far end of the chamber from the petitioner's stage. Hackett stepped across the commander's field of view, exiting the elevator first as befitting his rank. As Shepard followed, she noticed that while the condition of the Council chamber still exhibited significant damage, it was better than she expected.

For the last few days the Council had been holding their sessions on the presidium itself, having returned from the Destiny Ascension almost the moment the battle had ended. As soon as the windows behind the Council platform had been replaced, the Council had gone further, returning to their normal audience chamber. Shepard didn't see an obvious reason for the decision. If the Council was attempting to convey a message of normalcy, they would have been better served by waiting until the chamber was fully repaired. Although, Shepard admitted with no small amount of snark, the dead trees were a nice touch.

Shepard's eyes roamed the chamber, cataloging a myriad of observations she could use to annoy the Council. Without Joker handy to unceremoniously cut the connection, she would have to find other ways to impart her lack of respect. There were more keepers than she had ever seen in one place, but there was still a long way to go before the chamber would be returned to its former splendor. There was still damage from weapons fire on almost every surface. Floor, walls, ceiling, none were immune. She could see that the walkways were free of debris, but also free of benches or any remaining feature of casual comfort. Shepard had never been intimidated by the Council chamber before. Seeing it in this condition was almost a joke. It actually made her feel better about appearing before the Council.

She walked silently alongside Hackett, spending the time listing new ways to annoy Sparatus. Everywhere she looked provided her with additional ammunition. Damage everywhere, and all of it the fault of the Council. That must be part of the reason why so few people were in view. She'd expected the absence of the press, but the chamber itself was nearly empty. Very few had been granted access to the Council this day, despite the importance of the session. As they continued across the courtyard, a lone Asari stepped out from behind one of many dead trees. She moved to intercept them just before the terrace that contained the rapid transit kiosk.

Liara. It was Liara.

Sarah's pace quickened, unceremoniously leaving Hackett behind. The commander's antagonistic frame of mind instantly lifted. Thoughts of tormenting the Council were banished like smoke in the wind as the spectre reached the attractive Asari.

"Hello again."

Shepard paused for a self-conscious moment before leaning in and kissing the young archeologist quickly on the cheek. A brief peck that the commander was fully aware had been witnessed by Hackett. Somehow she couldn't bring herself to care.

"I thought you weren't coming?"

"It is a closed session, Shepard. I could not stay if I wanted to." Liara took Shepard's hands and enfolded them in her own. "I wanted to talk to you, away from all the unpleasantness earlier. I wanted to remind you that you saved the Council. This Council. They know it, and you know it. No matter what they say to you today, the fact that they owe you their lives is probably the worst insult you could have given them."

"I could come up with worse."

Liara lowered her head, but not fast enough to hide the beginning of a smile. "There is no need. They were wrong, and there is no hiding from that fact. Any air of superiority they put on will be in an attempt to elevate themselves to their prior standing. You are the hero today, Shepard. The best they can do now is attempt to associate themselves with your prestige, your success. "

"I was really looking forward to calling Sparatus a moron."

"It would serve no purpose Shepard. Besides, I believe that I can give you something better to look forward to."

Shepard found it difficult to contain a grin. "All right, you win. Where will I find you later?"

"I will wait for you on the Presidium."

"I'll be there."

With that, Liara released her hands, and with a polite nod to the admiral, turned and made her way towards the transit kiosk.

Shepard stood there watching her go until the presence of Hackett beside her could no longer be ignored.

"Perspective changes everything, doesn't it Commander?" He said at her glance.

"Sir?" The commander was still in no mood for another discussion like the one they'd had on the dock, but the admiral had lost his confrontational tone.

Hackett resumed his course towards the Council, Shepard again falling in at his side. "Like I said, Shepard. When you find that you're suddenly living for more than yourself, it can be quite the adjustment."

The slightest hint of pink rose to the commander's cheeks. "I don't know what you mean, Sir."

"I know."

o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

The Council surprised her by meeting them at the petitioner's stage itself. There was no audience in attendance, simply a few handlers, as well as Udina and Anderson.

As usual, Valern was the first to speak.

"Spectre Shepard."

 _'Wow,'_ thought Shepard. _'Only two words. How uncharacteristic of him.'_ "Counselor," she nodded in return.

"Not Counselor. Not now. Not for this." When Shepard only responded with a perplexed look he quickly continued. "In this, I represent my race, and incidentally myself."

"OK...?"

"The Dalatrass' have proclaimed you a hero of Sur'Kesh, Shepard. You are hearby designated a "Protector of the Union", from the smallest fiefdom to the largest colonization cluster." When Shepard's demeanor remained unchanged, he continued at an ever faster pace. "There is to be a ceremony on the homeworld, where you will receive the official decree." He paused again, and then leaned slightly forward, his tone lowering as if disclosing a secret. "It comes with no small stipend, especially by Human standards."

The commander was the epitome of composure at the Salarian's uncharacteristically direct insult. "Thank you Counselor."

Valern stood back, his demeanor atypically smug.

Sparatus was more abrupt, as if expecting Valern to try to continue. "The Hierarchy also wishes to honor you, Shepard." He stepped forward, drawing a dagger from inside his coat. Shepard, for her part, shifted her weight to the balls of her feet, prepared for whatever the Turian might have planned for her.

The counselor's mandibles flared in what she had learned from her friendship with Garrus was the equivalent of a smile. "Well done, Commander. A soldier must always be prepared for battle, even when all evidence points to safety." He deftly flipped the dagger, holding it out to the commander hilt first. "Admiral Mehrkuri was one such soldier. He met with a Krogan battlemaster to discuss the terms of a Krogan battalion's surrender. During the negotiation, a Krogan lieutenant rushed the admiral, burying his blade in the Admiral's chest. Mehrkuri was able to bull the blade free, and used it to kill both the lieutenant and the battlemaster before being treated for his injuries."

When Sparatus seemed satisfied that Shepard appeared suitably impressed, he continued. "He carried that dagger for the rest of his life. And now, the highest honor the Hierarchy can bestow on a living soldier is the Blade of Mehrkuri." At Sparatus' urging, Shepard took the knife from his hand. "The award is a replica of course, but accurate in every detail. This blade is a capable weapon of battle, it is no mere likeness."

Shepard acknowledged the man's passion as she tucked the dagger into her belt. "Then I will carry it with me into battle Counselor, thank you."

The Turian nodded. For just a moment they were no longer counselor and spectre, but soldiers together. "And Shepard?"

"Counselor?"

"This is an honor worthy of a warrior. It has never been awarded to a non-Turian before." He shot a glance at Valern. "It does _not_ come with a stipend."

"I wasn't expecting one, Counselor."

"I know you weren't Shepard. You're a soldier. Victory is your bounty. I'm still not entirely convinced that Humanity was ready for a spectre, but you've come a long way towards persuading me."

 _'That does it.'_ As Shepard drew breath, a plan to let Sparatus know exactly where he could stick his lack of faith in Humans as a whole, and her in particular forming in her mind, a subtle shake of Anderson's head caught her attention.

 _'Damn.'_ Udina she would have ignored, but Anderson? She'd taken enough out on him today.

She released her breath slowly. "I'm glad to hear it Counselor."

As Sparatus moved back, Tevos stepped away from the other Counselors. Instead of addressing her directly, she strode past. "Walk with me, Shepard."

With a sigh better suited to a surly teenager than a decorated hero, Shepard turned to walk beside the Counselor, leaving a confused group behind. When Tevos seemed disinclined to initiate a conversation, Shepard took it upon herself once they were out of earshot of the others.

"Let me guess, Thessia is giving me some award so great it's going to embarrass the others?"

"No, Commander."

"What then? So far today it's been a decoration, a proclamation, and a knife. It's a headdress, isn't it? Matriarch Cylenia in Armali was wearing one. It looked ridiculous." Shepard put her hands on her head as if emulating the towering headgear worn by Cylenia.

Tevos simply ignored the commander's cheeky discourse.

After a moment, Shepard gave up. "Sorry. Seriously, though. Where are we going?"

"Away from the others, Shepard. Ours is not a conversation I would prefer be shared." Tevos finally gave a sideways glance to Shepard. "At least not beyond the peerage."

Shepard was immediately reminded that she had a _relationship_ with Tevos now, one that she tended to forget when Liara wasn't present.

"Of course, Matriarch."

That brought a subtle smile to the counselor's face. "In response to your question Peeress, not only had the Conclave intended a planetary celebration in your honor, most of the individual republics had accolades of their own that they wished to bestow."

"You're using the past tense."

"Because I put a stop to it, Peeress."

"Uh, thank you?" Shepard's confusion was easily translated.

"I find myself in the position of being unable to provide what you have asked of me. I would not insult you by instead repaying your bravery with that which you hate so much. I don't admit to understanding why you fight against receiving the recognition you deserve, but it is enough for me to know that you do not wish it."

The pair walked in silence for a handful of minutes.

"Unless you've decided otherwise...?"

"Ha! No, thank you Tevos." Shepard turned to make eye contact with the Asari, attempting to convey the sincerity of her response. "Seriously, thank you. I appreciate what you've done. I'd rather not be reminded of my actions over the last few months."

"Surely they have not all been negative."

"They included some of the best days of my life," she replied honestly. Her eyes dropped to the ground in front of them. "But with all the people we lost, it doesn't feel like the best time to celebrate."

"Such celebrations are for the benefit of the living, Shepard."

"I know, but I've had about all I can tolerate for now. Once this is over, all I want to do is have a farewell dinner for my team, get a good night's sleep, and take leave until the Normandy is out of dry dock."

"You'll be going to Thessia, then?"

"Probably. There's a lot to do back at the estate. We haven't had much of a chance to talk about it though."

Tevos stopped walking, drawing Shepard up short. "She's very like her mother. I never expected it, but you do suit each other." She shook her head. "I would have preferred not to see her involved in these events."

"Thanks so much," an annoyed tone crept into the spectre's voice. "So this," Shepard waved at the Council in the distance, "was just to talk about Liara?"

"No, that was personal. My desire is to talk about the opening on the Council for a Human representative."

Sarah grew wide eyed.

"I did not mean you Shepard, despite the fact that you would no doubt be a popular choice. You have other," the Asari's eyes bored into hers, "responsibilities."

"As much as I'm both relieved and insulted, how does this matter to me?"

"Your parliament has proven unable to provide suitable candidates in a timely enough manner to suit the Council races."

"They aren't my parliament. Active military don't get a vote in the SA."

"Nevertheless, this failure leaves us having to select a Human counselor from among the embassy staff."

"That's a lot of people."

"There are only two we would consider. The ambassador of course, and Captain Anderson."

"Anderson as the counselor?" Shepard chuckled. "That's hysterical."

Tevos frowned. "I have found our working relationship to be a positive one. You feel he would not be an acceptable candidate?"

"Are you kidding? He'd be amazing. He's a soldier at heart though."

"You have faith in his ability?"

"I do. A lot more faith than I have in Udina."

"Anderson seems to share your opinion of the ambassador."

"Look, Udina is an idiot. He's a man more concerned with how his status as ambassador lets him fraternize with celebrities, and allows him easy access to the best restaurants on the Citadel. When it comes to arguing humanity's interests on the galactic stage, his sole argument is "woe are we, poor Humans". He has the resources of an entire species to draw from, and hasn't been able to negotiate mutually beneficial accords? Individual colonies are taking it upon themselves to negotiate their own trade agreements in the absence of a coherent policy. Look at how strong the relationship is between Illium and Elysium! The Normandy herself is another excellent example of what humanity can do in conjunction with another species. Even with these precedents, he's more concerned with fanning the flames of discontent."

Tevos' smile returned. "You're not helping your case against becoming the counselor yourself, you know."

"I wouldn't accept. I don't think we're ready. Even if I did, I thought we agreed I had other responsibilities?"

"So you do. Although I do not understand why your parliament appointed Udina to his position, I will say that I agree with your assessment. On a personal level, I would prefer to have Anderson as a peer, but I only have one of three votes."

"So why ask my opinion?"

Tevos turned and started walking back towards the distant Counselors even as she replied.

"Because Valern doesn't appear to have a preference, and I believe that Sparatus will be swayed by your sentiment."

"Maybe I shouldn't have hung up on him all those times."

"I share your opinion on that as well."

o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Udina was beside himself when they returned, but waited until the Council was out of earshot before laying into the commander.

"What was that about Shepard? What was so important that Tevos couldn't discuss it in front of the rest of the Council? What are the Asari giving you? A moon?"

"All Tevos offered me was her gratitude, which I politely accepted. As for the rest, I don't believe she was trying to keep any secrets from the Council, Ambassador. It was a personal matter that she didn't want to talk about publicly."

"A personal matter? As much as I'd like to believe you Shepard, I find that answer suspect." His tone dripped condescension. "It's far more likely that you've embarrassed us again. Remember, you represent both Humanity and this embassy in your actions as a spectre. You've already proven that the Council can't trust you to follow orders after the incident with the Normandy. Given that, why would she disclose something of a personal nature to you?

Shepard briefly wondered how hard she'd have to hit Udina to send him flying off the petitioner's stage. Udina recoiled slightly at the malevolent smile that played across her lips. "Uh, probably because first off, despite being Human, I don't represent you, I represent _her_. She sponsored me into the spectres, or did you somehow forget that only counselors can nominate? Second, as both an _Asari_ spectre and a member of a fucking _Thessian Great House_ , Tevos had something she desired to discuss with me. In private. That means not you. Get it?"

"This conversation isn't over Commander."

"This conversation never got off the ground. If you focused on how we could work together instead of on pissing me off, you'd find I'm pretty useful to have on your side." She jerked her head towards where the counselors were filing out onto the dais. "Even Tevos managed to figure that out, and I'm pretty sure she hates my guts."

"She's not the only one, Shepard."

o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Despite the arrival of the Council, it still took some time before the session officially began. A small audience was allowed into the upper gallery, and Shepard was pleased to see that Kaidan's quest to gain access had been successful when he filed in with the rest. There were a small armada of press drones as well, and the commander noted that they were all tightly focused on the Council itself, leaving none of the damaged sections of the chamber visible to the viewing audience.

Once the Council session was underway the Council impressed her by not only leading with the Alliance's contribution to the victory, but also in commemorating the sacrifices of those who lost their lives in defense of the Citadel. Their obvious sincerity left her almost able to forgive the pigheadedness she'd had to deal with from them over the course of the entire mission to stop Saren.

Her personal reflection came to a sudden halt when Tevos addressed her directly.

"The Council also owes you a great personal debt Commander. One we can never repay. You saved not just our lives, but the lives of billions of others from Sovereign."

When she paused, Valern picked up as if scripted. "Commander Shepard, your heroic and selfless actions serve as a symbol of everything humanity and the Alliance stand for."

Sparatus continued, "And though we cannot bring back those valiant soldiers who gave their lives to save ours, we can honor their memories through our actions."

And finally the address returned to Tevos. "Humanity has shown it is ready to stand as a defender and protector of the galaxy. You have proved you are worthy to join our ranks, and serve beside us on the Citadel Council."

Just as she was about to reply, she was usurped by Udina.

"Counselor, on behalf of humanity and the Alliance, we thank you for this prestigious honor, and humbly accept."

"We are ready to review the list of available candidates to fill humanity's seat on the Council." Valern seemed to be in no small hurry to conclude this particular piece of business.

Then Tevos asked the question Shepard was waiting for. "Given all that has happened, I am sure your recommendation will carry a great deal of weight Commander. Do you support any particular candidate?"

Sarah felt a feeling of serenity settle over her as she locked eyes with the Asari. _'She handled this beautifully,'_ she was forced to admit to herself, _'I'm going to pick the Human counselor. This is not a good day to be Udina.'_ She took as deep breath, and squared her shoulders for the benefit of the cameras. "We need someone with the courage to stand up for what he believes in. Someone like Captain Anderson." She felt more than heard Udina slump a little beside her.

"Him? You must be joking! Anderson prefers to let his fists do the talking."

"Only with you Ambassador, only with you," the captain replied, speaking for the first time since the Council session began.

"Are you sure about this Commander? The Captain's a soldier, not a politician." Udina was obviously trying to save this situation.

"We've already got too many politicians on the Citadel. The Captain would be perfect for this job."

Tevos' face gave away nothing as she accepted the commander's recommendation. "I think it's an inspired choice." When no other counselor interjected, Tevos continued, "The Council would welcome him with open arms, should he accept."

"I'm honored, Counselor. As humanity's representative I'll do everything in my power to help the Council rebuild."

With Anderson's acceptance, the only agenda item of the session was concluded. Sparatus launched into the closing commentary.

"Sovereign's defeat marks the beginning of a new era, for both humanity and the Council."

Shepard took this as one last chance to get a comment into the official record. "Sovereign was only a vanguard. The Reaper fleet is still coming. Hundreds of ships, maybe thousands. I'm going to find some way to stop them." She spun on her heel, walking away from the Council as Tevos declared the session closed.

Her feeling of success kept her mood buoyed all the way to the lift. It was only when the doors closed when the thought hit her.

 _'Holy shit. Did I just pick the first Human counselor? Or did Tevos?'_ Her next thought was even more urgent.

 _'I have to talk to Liara.'_

* * *

A/N: Assumptions here include:

FemShep/Liara  
Post ME1 ending - after the Battle of the Citadel, and this is the 7th story of the _Cari'ssi'mi_ series

Shepard is:  
Colonist / Vanguard / War Hero

This is the first time since the second chapter of Discovery that I've included snippets of in-game dialog (from the Council session, for those of you who haven't played ME1 in a while.) At least these lines, while not what I would expect from real diplomats, aren't as stilted as what Kaidan had to say after Virmire.

This chapter took a while to finish, mostly because it was a great deal of exposition, and not a great deal of action. In that way it's similar to Obligations Ch3, another chapter that took a while to complete (and it was far shorter). We're going to wrap up our stay on the Citadel next chapter, and then begins the journey that takes us to Mindoir - and while there we'll finally get to a chapter that I have been waiting to post for over a year...

As always, feedback is welcome and desired.


	13. Decisions

Without doubt the public transmission of the Council meeting had been censored. Yes, there had been a great many shots of Shepard, looking dashing in her dress blues, fit for any Alliance recruiting poster. Most of the time the spectre spent on camera had been reaction shots to comments by the Council. Liara knew her opinionated commander. She had no faith that the Human had actually been able to refrain from commenting for so long, yet the illusion of deference to Council authority had to be maintained. The sole exception had been the discourse leading up to the selection of the Human councilor. Shepard had been unswerving in her support of Captain Anderson, which was only to be expected. Fortunately, the man appeared to be a palatable choice. Anderson's involvement with the Council long preceded Udina's, so the captain was seemingly someone the Council felt it could deal with.

Liara deactivated her omni-tool with a deft wave of her fingers. Watching the broadcast had turned out to be a pointless endeavor. She would learn the entirety of the story soon enough, without the Council's guileful edits. Perhaps then she would have sufficient information to deduce the motivations behind what she had seen. In one manner, she was relieved. Her greatest fear had been that the Council would in some way blame their inaction on Shepard, that she would be presented as the cause for the attack on the Citadel, the destruction, the lives lost. Although the councilors had gone to no small length to be lavish in their praise of the commander, the maiden knew that such goodwill would last only so long as it suited their purpose. Lack of respect aside, if Shepard truly became an inconvenience to the Council, Liara held no false belief that the Human's history of heroism would protect her. As with any government, the Council would do whatever it had to in order to remain in power. Small matters like casting aside their champion would be almost no decision at all.

The young Asari leaned against the railing on the bridge where she had selected to wait for Shepard's return. Even with the lightest hint of smoke remaining in the air, her surroundings were tranquil. This part of the Presidium had barely been touched by the Geth attack, the wards having been the recipient of far more incidental fire from the battle in space. In some ways the view reminded her of home. In others, she was prompted to remember how much change she had experienced over such a short period. Her path had taken her further away from the life of the naive archaeologist than she ever would have imagined. There was hardly anything left of the doctor who had left Armali with implausible dreams of success and fame. Well, she did still share a passion for knowledge and control with that barely remembered maiden.

If nothing else, her mother would have been pleased that she was again involved with House affairs. She would also be relieved that she seemed to have found a _sodalis_ of her own. Although she was considered too young to be thinking seriously about a bondmate, in that she emulated Benezia as she had been for so many years before meeting her nameless father.

Liara was pulled back into the moment. She hadn't relied solely on her growing connection to Shepard to sense the spectre's approach. The huffing breath and heavy stride communicated her presence, and additionally her not unexpected mood. The railing shook when Shepard leaned against it heavily, throwing her body into it without any regard for the barrier or any potential failure. She brought her arms down on the railing so heavily that for a moment Liara worried for the Human's elbows. When Shepard neither cried out nor demonstrated any other expression of discomfort, Liara was forced to conclude that the Human's body had become as acclimated to the commander's moods as she herself had.

Liara's eyes ran up and down the commander. She'd loosened her hair from the regulation bun, allowing the copper strands to spill to her shoulders. Her breathing had immediately returned to normal, and she crossed one leg behind the other as she lifted her hands to rest her chin in them. She decided that the commander's jarring arrival was simply a momentary expression of frustration. Her body language appeared welcoming, and Liara felt comfortable prompting Shepard for details of the meeting.

The maiden made a point to assume a supportive tone. "What happened during the Council session, Shepard?"

"Why does Tevos want Anderson as the Human councilor?" The spectre responded by ignoring her question.

"Shepard?"

"Tevos. She did everything but come out and tell me to recommend him. I know she was manipulating me, I just want to know why."

Liara cocked her head, not certain if she misunderstood. "That does not sound like the councilor. Surely she would have remained impartial in what is an internal matter for the Alliance."

Shepard was slow to respond, as if not wanting to. "I know you and Tevos have a history, and I don't want to hurt your feelings, but she was definitely not impartial."

Liara sighed. "Tevos has a history with my mother, not with me Shepard. Her interaction with me has been the same as with you; that is to say pointing out what she perceives as my shortcomings."

Shepard straightened, and pushed back from the railing as the turned to the Asari. "That's part of what I mean. Before the Council session started, Sparatus and Valern each had an award they wanted to confer on me. No big deal. Hackett gave me a heads up, wanted to make sure I didn't throw it back in their face." She flashed an impish grin. "For some reason the admiral believes that I can't be trusted to behave appropriately in public."

"Barring all evidence to the contrary, of course," Liara returned the smile even as she shook her head.

"That's because he doesn't know the difference between 'can' and 'will'. Other than that they can't believe a fact when they see it, I don't have a problem with the Council." Shepard cocked her head as she considered, "Actually, they each seemed sincere in their gratitude. Valern named me 'Protector of the Union', and Sparatus gave me something called the 'Blade of Mehrkuri'." Shepard removed the dagger from her belt and delicately handed it to the Asari. "Be careful, it's sharp. I promised him I'd take it into battle. I didn't tell him I intended to leave it there." She wiggled her eyebrows. "Politically correct, you know."

Liara chuckled as she turned the dagger over in her hands, examining it. "Those are both very predigious awards, Shepard." She looked back at the Human. "What did Tevos present to you?"

"That's just it! She didn't give me anything! There was going to be some kind of celebration when we got back to Armali, but she cancelled it because _she knew I wouldn't want it_!"

Liara put her hand to her forehead as she tried to follow Shepard's chain of logic. "So you believe she was trying to manipulate your decision because she took your opinions into consideration?"

"Exactly!"

Liara's look was one of incomprehension.

"OK, I _do_ get the whole political thing. I really do. I just pretend I don't so I can ignore it. You know that. Tevos could have parleyed our return to Thessia as heroes as quite the political victory. 'All of you were against my decision for the next Asari spectre, and look how that turned out!'. Lidanya practically said as much herself. Our defeat of Sovereign reflects very well on Tevos."

Liara nodded, back on certain ground. "Yes Shepard, it does. As it does on House T'Soni."

Shepard waved her arm to disregard Liara's point. "Sure, but that doesn't mean anything to Tevos. There was going to be a shindig for us on Thessia. It would have amounted to public accolades for us, and a vindication for her. She cancelled it as a way to win my gratitude."

Liara didn't agree that a positive impact on House T'Soni had no significance to Tevos, but she let the point pass. "You might be correct Shepard, but to what end? To encourage you to endorse a candidate for councilor that she was certain you would select anyway?"

"Exactly. She practically shoved him down my throat. She made a big deal about how there wasn't time for a decision at Parliament, and held Anderson and Udina up before me as if they were the only possible options." She took a breath to collect herself, certain that she was missing some key piece of information to convince Liara. "It was a setup. She tried to imply that if I didn't select Anderson it would be because I didn't have faith in his ability. But all this was still after trying to buy my gratitude by calling off the celebration, as well as going out of her way to point out that she thinks you and I are well matched."

Liara felt both her eyebrow markings shoot upward as if trying to reach her crest. "That _is_ unexpected Shepard, but the possibility exists that she might just be attempting to makes amends for previous unpleasantries. As you have noted, you and she do have interaction beyond that of councilor and spectre."

"I understand all that. What I don't understand is why Anderson? I can't stand Udina, but what if he was the better choice for humanity? Did I make the wrong decision? Did I let my personal feelings get in the way of the correct decision? Would Udina be better able to stand against the Council if it were required?"

Liara moved closer as she usurped some of the commander's personal space for her own. When Shepard's arm snaked around her waist Liara allowed her head to drop on the Human's shoulder. "You may be correct about all of it Shepard, but for the moment there is no way to be sure. I would remind you that you yourself were quick to point out that Udina had a propensity to curry favor from the Council when it benefitted him to do so." She paused when Shepard grunted at the comment. "What else happened during the audience?"

"I'm sure you watched it," the spectre growled in response, pulling the Asari higher as she indicated her left arm. "You probably know as much as I do."

"What I know is that the feed was obviously edited for public consumption." She waited for a response. When none came, she continued, "I was hoping that you could provide me with details and context."

Shepard turned to her. "How do you know it was edited? Were you listening in?"

"Of course not! The Councilors represent the races of Citadel Space. Listening in on a closed session would be a significant breach of etiquette. Given the subject matter discussed today, perhaps even a crime against the state."

"You are quite the straight arrow, Liara T'Soni."

Liara looked up at Shepard, incomprehension clear on her face.

"You know, finding out where the translator has shortcomings is much more fun than I thought it was going to be."

"I would lay the blame on your language Commander, before I would accuse the translation matrix. Or if not your language, perhaps your command of it?"

Shepard drew her hands to her chest. "I'm wounded. That arrow's sharper than I realized." She grinned at the Asari. "Can't we blame the translator a little bit?"

Liara rolled her eyes. "We could Shepard, but it would be meaningless. I currently have mine set to send me your speech without enhancement or translation."

Shepard's eyes widened in shock. "You operate without translation? Onboard the ship? In battle?" The commander appeared horrified.

"Only with you Shepard, and not all the time." _'Goddess, I am never going to get the the information about the Council meeting.'_ She waited for a moment. "So? 'Straight arrow?'"

"Oh, sorry. It means someone who is morally upright, someone who wouldn't consider breaking a law, or performing any other unscrupulous act."

"I do not think that I would go so far as to never consider breaking a law, but most legal statutes do serve a purpose you know."

"Spoken like a virtuous maiden. I wouldn't believe your body count if I hadn't seen it myself."

"Combat is different Shepard."

"I know that. I'm just glad you know it too. People who can't compartmentalize can have difficulty transitioning to and from the battlefield." She waited for a few breaths. "So, why?"

"Why what, Shepard?"

"Why aren't you translating me? We just had this whole discussion about issues with translation with Lidanya."

"I actually translate you more than I used to Shepard. Your concerns about translation inaccuracies have encouraged me to attempt to identify them when they occur. Most of my results have involved colloquialisms, or instances where Alliance Standard doesn't have an exact word for an Attena counterpart."

"You still haven't answered why."

Liara buried her face into Shepard's neck, who for her part, didn't give up so easily. She reached out and with a finger lifted the Asari's face back towards hers. The spectre was rewarded with a furious purple blush that started just below the Asari's cheekbones and was swiftly inching its way into her crest.

"Why...?" Her tone was softer this time.

"So I can hear your voice," Liara whispered. "I heard it in the Medbay once while Dr. Chakwas had my omni-tool disabled. She did not want it to interfere with the instrument she was using." She turned her head away forcefully, hiding her face. "I never grow tired of hearing your voice." This time her response was almost inaudible.

"Hey, hey," Shepard circled to face Liara straight on, hoping she hadn't upset the young Asari too much. "I was just curious. I wasn't trying to embarrass you or anything. If anything, I'm flattered."

Liara looked back at that. "You are... flattered?"

"Sure. It isn't every day someone compliments your voice. That's a lot more meaningful than 'nice shoes'."

"It did give me incentive to learn Standard, even if so few realize that I speak it."

"Maybe I can take you off translation too? Then I could learn Attena?"

Liara's look was pessimistic. "It would take a great deal of time Shepard, although we can try whenever you would like."

"How long? You said you mastered Standard, and we've known each other what, a little over four months?"

"And a working mastery of Standard is approximately 8,000 words. In Attena it is somewhere between 100,000 and 120,000. That is one of the reasons that direct translation leaves gaps between our languages."

Shepard blew out a heavy breath. "OK, yours is harder, but that doesn't mean that I'm not going to give it a try. Especially if I'm going to end up living on Thessia someday. It would drive me crazy not to be able to understand everyone around me."

Liara's heart had skipped a beat at another mention of "living on Thessia" but she found herself at yet another example of Shepard's uncompromising will. "You're right, of course. It would be a huge benefit to you once we settle in Armali."

Shepard's smile made Liara's legs feel far away. She wished she was still leaning against the Human, for support if nothing else.

The commander looked around, "So, do we have anything left here? I still want to say goodbye to the crew. I can't believe we won't see everyone for two months."

 _'Hoping for more detail about the Council meeting, but apparently that will have to wait.'_ Liara took a deep breath to hide her frustration. "I am sorry Shepard. We received an invitation this evening to, I suppose you would call it a soiree."

Sarah's face fell. "I was hoping to avoid any formal gala while we were here. Tevos got that part right at least." She squared her shoulders. "Who are we dining with? The Council? Ambassadors?"

Liara's smile was as bright as Parnitha. "Nothing like that Shepard, or I never would have accepted on your behalf. When I said us, I meant the crew of the Normandy." She paused, "Excepting Joker and Dr. Chakwas, of course."

The commander cocked her head, "Everyone? That's over 50 people. Who's going to throw a party for all of us while there's still so much repair to do on the Citadel? One of the embassies?"

"Sha'ira."

"The Consort? Why would she do that?" Shepard's look shifted to one of trepidation as she took a step back.

"At Tevos' urging, it seems." Liara stepped forward, unwilling to let the commander put distance between them. "Sha'ira contacted me just before the Council session. Did you say something to the councilor?"

Shepard looked away. "I might have. I wasn't trying to ask for anything though."

"You did say that she appears to be attempting to win your favor."

"Sending me to the Consort isn't going to do that," she murmured.

The maiden placed her hand on the Human's arm. "It will be fine, Shepard." She meant it.

"Wait, I thought you were pissed at her?"

"Sha'ira and I parted cordially. I have no quarrel with her other than her willingness to be used by Tevos to influence me."

"That seems to be going around." When Liara didn't respond she continued. "We've met, you know, the Consort and I."

Liara nodded, wanting to put the Human at ease. "I remember, you told me when it happened. She also mentioned it, among other things when I met with her."

"This is going to be one of those things I should have talked more with you about, isn't it?"

"Not at all, Shepard. There was some minor House business between us to be sure, but her primary motivation was to keep us separated during your meeting with the Council. It was not a matter I will hold against her. She would be a useful ally, and a vexing enemy."

"Only 'vexing'?" The Human sported a relieved grin.

"Compared to some, yes. As an ally however, she could be a very useful as a source of information."

"You always have an angle, don't you?"

"I try not to waste opportunity."

"Same thing." Shepard took a deep breath as she tried to shake off the self doubt from the Council meeting. "So, shall we do this thing? Start telling the crew?"

"They already know, Shepard. I informed them when I tentatively accepted. Just send confirmation. Then all we have to do is change, and go to Sha'ira's chambers."

"That was a little presumptuous of you, don't you think?"

Blue eyes were full of mischief. "No."

o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Shepard had her feet on the table as she examined her cards. The look on her face should have kept anyone from continuing to bet, but it seemed that Lieutenant Alenko was an optimist. The betting continued while Garrus, Tali, and Adams looked on, all of them having folded early in the hand. Alenko seemed to think that his CO was bluffing.

Liara only shook her head as she questioned Kaidan's judgement. Shepard only bluffed when it counted. She'd learned that much in her short time with the commander.

Her attention was drawn back to the table as a round of cheering accompanied Shepard laying down her cards for all to see, her grin visible from across the room as she raked in the pot. It blended into the substantial pile of markers already in front of her.

Maidens who had been waiting for the hand to conclude deftly stepped between her crewmates, refilling drinks and placing new appetizers within easy reach.

The presence at her elbow made itself known. "I'm surprised you're not with her."

"I will have her to myself for several weeks. We sat together at dinner. I am not jealous of the others in her life. She would never stand for it if I were." As if to reinforce the point, Shepard made no attempt to avert her gaze as one of Sha'ira 's court leaned over Shepard as she cleared away empty plates and glasses.

"Not even the dark haired Human? He seems quite familiar with the commander."

"I trust Shepard completely." She turned to face Sha'ira directly, "and you are unlikely to sway that trust."

The Consort made a show of sipping her elasa. "I mean no such influence. I am merely surprised that you distance yourself from her."

Liara considered the point. Was it unusual? Shepard was nearby, visibly happy for one of the few times in over a month. Liara could _feel_ the joy coming off the Human even from across the room. The comradery, the fellowship, the pride in her crew, all were near the surface, practically tangible to the maiden. Shepard looked up from her cards and smiled at the archaeologist from her position of victory. Liara returned the smile and offered the smallest of waves before Shepard turned her attention back to her cards, smile even broader than before as she placed her bet.

"I retract my statement. You are not distant from her at all."

"No, we are not."

The Consort appeared to be considering her words as she again sipped her elasa. "I would have counseled you against this path, _Peeress_ ," Sha'ira stressed the honorific, "but it is apparent to me now that such advice would have gone unheeded."

"Your guidance is not unwelcome Consort, but in this case it is unnecessary."

"Perhaps. Tevos certainly appears satisfied with the current state of affairs."

"Which she did a great deal to bring about."

"You believe she influenced the commander?"

"Nothing so specific, but I do believe that she readily takes advantage of chance events that work in her favor. I would not have suspected that she would accept Shepard's status as _cari'ssi'mi_ so readily."

"Shepard answers to her, at least to a degree. This relationship allows her to influence you and House T'Soni, at least to some extent. Her relationship with you tempers her response to Tevos. I am surprised that you don't realize this."

"I realize that is what Tevos hopes. She does not have as much dominion over Shepard as she believes."

"So you've said. Yet the councilor cares enough about keeping the commander happy that she requested that I host this event."

"And which I will reimburse you for."

"Tevos has already taken care of it."

"Then donate her contribution to the relief effort. Or not, I do not care. I will not accrue a debt to you, not for this, not to bring her happiness."

"This was a pittance, and nothing more than what I owe you both for the fact that my people still live. That I still live. I already owe you a debt far greater than I could ever repay. My duty to my court is as all encompassing as yours is to your house. I already intended to pass Tevos' contribution along. If you attempt to reimburse me then I'll do the same with yours."

Liara bowed her head, realizing her disrespect. "I apologize Sha'ira. I did not intend to insult the Consort."

"And she is not insulted, but she is also not unintelligent. My life, the lives of my family, and you believe it is hardship to show my gratitude with food? Drink? A sympathetic ear to one who has endured so much in the name of protecting the innocent?" Sha'ira waved down from their vantage on the mezzanine to where a matron was sitting in a remote corner, talking to Lieutenant Pressly as she massaged the man's hands. "This is the nature of our calling. It is always difficult to be a consort in wartime, but there is not a time of greater need for our services. Even had you not so directly saved our lives, it would be our duty to serve."

"Even me?" The question was a whisper.

"Your feelings of guilt are easily discernable, but misplaced. They will pass with time."

"I suggested that Shepard should let the Council die!" she hissed, "Shepard already laments every life lost, every victim she cannot save. I would have allowed the destruction of the Destiny Ascension to come to rest on her conscience. She would have held herself accountable for Tevos' death!"

They both noticed as Sheaprd's head snapped up from the joviality around her. Liara offered a small smile and a shake of her head.

Sha'ira shook her own head before continuing. "And you are concerned about the impact it would have had on Shepard's well being more than the lives that would have been lost. Even more than Tevos' death."

"I..."

"It's all right. Tevos felt you weren't ready to assume the role of Head of House T'Soni, but that convinced her. You've proven that you are able to make unpleasant decisions, even when lives are at stake. Many lives. The lives of people you know and respect. The fact that even now your concern is over the impact it would have had on Shepard shows me that you still believe it was the right decision."

"As Shepard has stated, it was the correct decision, but it was not the right one."

"The Human has a deep morality, to be sure. I fear that means she will be tested more than most in the coming days."

"I will do all I can to protect her."

"You already feel her pain. What will you do when pain is all she has, all she is? What will it mean for you both?"

"I will not allow that to happen."

Shi'ara's smile was a sad one. "That is why I can do so little to assist. What can one do to aid in an impossible task? The undertaking you have set for yourself is beyond your capabilities." She held her hand up to forestall the objection. "Beyond anyone's capabilities. You will not be able to protect her. You may not be able to save her. You might be able to be there for her. For both your sakes, I hope that you can."

The maiden's look was bitter. "All the Consort can offer is that I should hope?"

The sadness in Shi'ara's smile reached her eyes. "I would not have made the choices you have, but it is not my place to say you've done wrong. Still, it's best you make the most of your time together. You may think what you've done would make what is coming easier for the two of you, but I assure you it will not." She shook her head. "If Benezia were here..."

Anger flashed in the maiden's eyes. "But my mother is _not_ here. She made her choice, and I will be dealing with that choice for the rest of my life."

"Yes, she made her choice." The Consort's eyes shone with an odd intensity. "You're so like her. So strong, so convinced you can handle anything. Her hubris led to her downfall, and could have ended the T'Soni line. I question your choice more."

Liara straightened her shoulders, as she offered _lidifemea_. "Thank you for your counsel, Shi'ara. I believe that I will join Shepard after all."

The Consort only nodded as the maiden took her leave.

* * *

A/N: Assumptions here include:

FemShep/Liara  
Post ME1 ending - after the Battle of the Citadel, and this is the 7th story of the _Cari'ssi'mi_ series

Shepard is:  
Colonist / Vanguard / War Hero

As always, feedback is welcome and desired.


	14. Mindoir

The rumble of conversation had declined to a low murmur.

Most of the Normandy crew had already left the party. Some departed alone, previously made plans calling them elsewhere. Some left in pairs, in a quest for another kind of companionship. Some, like Lieutenant Pressly, had chosen to accept the company of one of Sha'ira's acolytes. Despite their sharply diminished numbers, Shepard was enjoying some long overdue relaxation in the company of her crew.

Considering how poorly her day had begin, the spectre was in a remarkably good mood. Exceptional food, pleasant company, and cleaning out some of her colleagues at poker had all combined to lift her spirits. The maelstrom of frustration she'd experienced throughout the day was a swiftly receding memory. The Consort had outdone herself. Despite Liara's assurances, the commander had been hesitant to accept the invitation, but knew it wouldn't be fair to her crew. Most would never have the opportunity to experience the Consort's hospitality. She grinned at the thought. She might have faced a mutiny at declining the invitation.

Regardless of her expectation, Shepard was willing to admit that the evening had gone well. It had even been enjoyable. Certainly the occasion had come with none of the tension she'd experienced the first time she's met Sha'ira. Unusually for her, she'd felt no desire to withdraw, to keep herself apart. In fact, she'd never so much as touched her second scotch, still sitting before her.

Not that things couldn't be better, mind you. For example, if Liara had elected to sit beside her on the couch. That would be an improvement.

Liara however had elected to sit in the chair to the commander's left. The high backed, duchess style chair fit her like a throne. The maiden looked regal against the deep red fabric, even with her legs tucked up under her. With Liara occupying one, Shepard finally understood the design of the seat's curling back; to accommodate an Asari crest. The commander's eyes swept the room in lazy curiosity. She realized the duchess chairs were the only seating with high backs. The rest of the furniture were of similar styles, in the prevailing color scheme of royal reds and deep purples, but none rose so tall as to interfere with a crest. It made sense, she acknowledged. Experience had taught the spectre that the crest wasn't rigid, but one had to be careful. It only had so much give, only in certain directions, and it was incredibly sensitive. She smiled at the memory.

Regardless of how well the chair fit the young scientist, looking at the maiden only intensified her awareness of the empty spot on the couch. Now that her crew was cognizant of the nature of her and Liara's relationship, Shepard wanted to make up for lost time in spending time with the attractive Asari. She cast about for ways to indicate Liara join her, without seeming too obvious.

"Where will you go now?" The dulcet tones of Liara's voice brought Shepard back into the moment. She blinked as she tried to catch up with the conversation. Fortunately, the maiden wasn't talking to her. That meant Shepard was saved from embarrassment of having to admit she's been staring at Liara but not listening. The Asari was holding her tea up to her lips, but her eyes were on Wrex. The Krogan was reclining on the chaise lounge across from Shepard, one of Sha'ira's acolytes collecting the assortment of empty ryncol shots piled in front of him.

"Omega." If the Krogan was drunk, it didn't show in the firm resonance of his voice. Then again, it had taken a four day bender to put him down the last time. "I took a contract. There's someone I have to take care of there."

That focused Sarah's attention. "What? Wrex, please tell me you're not taking hits."

"Ha!" The playfulness in his voice was genuine. God, she never thought she'd find a Krogan so adorable. "No, Shepard. Don't worry your altruistic head. When I said I have someone to take care of, I meant it. It's a protection contract, not a hit. I took it when I found out that the Normandy wasn't going back out for a couple of months. Thought I'd need the money. It never occurred to me that I was actually going to get paid for this job." He raised his glass to the commander. "I've had more than a few contracts where the client tried to renege on their commitment." He threw his shot back, and slammed the glass on the table between them. "This is the first time I've ever been unexpectedly paid."

Shepard grinned at the Krogan. "You're welcome, but it wasn't me. I couldn't afford a long weekend at your rates." She pointed at Liara, slightly disappointed when she received an acknowledging nod in return, instead of the hoped-for blush. "Liara took care of it with her money,"

"Our money, Shepard," the maiden interjected, before taking another sip of tea.

" _T'Soni_ money," Shepard corrected, "when it became apparent that getting the Alliance to pay everyone as a contractor was going to be more trouble than it was worth. You've all done so much, and there's still so much to do. If paying everyone for their time makes the difference in keeping our team together, I'd have robbed a bank if I'd had to."

"Well, we all appreciate it." Garrus' comforting rumble came from Shepard's right. "Again, you've proven that even when the rest of the galaxy couldn't care less, we can count on you to have our backs."

"Yes, thank you Shepard," added Tali. "That fact that you've done so much, and afterwards were still concerned enough to make sure that we were taken care of..."

"Whoa there. Slow down a minute." Shepard put her hands up to ward off the appreciation fest. "Like I said, it was the least I could do, the least _we_ could do." Shepard waved her hand indicating herself and Liara. "The Alliance should have done more for each of you, or in their absence, the Council could have gotten off their ass. Unfortunately, while being a spectre has some undeniable perquisites, a generous compensation plan isn't one of them. Anything I don't get from the Alliance I have to scare up on my own. If it weren't for Liara, all I could offer would be my gratitude."

Wrex threw back another shot of Ryncol. "You kept me supplied with food, weapons, and any number of worthy adversaries. I've done far more dishonorable work for much less in return. I was already going to come back to fight with you. You have strong enemies."

"Hear, hear," Kaidan raised his glass from his position between the commander and Tali. "I get an Alliance paycheck, but that's not why I'm here. I'm with you all the way Shepard, however it turns out."

"Where are you going for now, Lieutenant?" Liara posed the same question as to Wrex earlier. "How will you spend the next two months?"

Kaidan paused for a moment before responding. "Earth. I want to see my parents, and I haven't been home in a while. Hopefully my dad can get some leave and we can spend a little bit of time together." He took a drink of his water. "After that, the Academy has a class in xeno poli-sci that I'd like to audit. It's only 6 weeks, but the timing would let me get back to Arcturus before the Board of Inspection releases the Normandy to the commander."

"Is that Major Berg's class?" asked Shepard.

"It is. Have you taken it?" Kaidan answered.

"No, but I've audited it too. He's an incredible lecturer, but the research load..." Shepard trailed off. "Let's just say that when you take it for credit, don't take any other classes, and take it while you're on leave."

Kaidan considered. "It sounds like I might want to take it for credit now. I may not get another opportunity like this one." The lieutenant appeared concerned about his original decision.

"I would. If you need a letter from your CO to facilitate an override, just let me know. Berg's a hardass, but he knows the score. He'll let someone override into a full session if he knows they're active duty."

"Thanks Commander. I might have just eliminated the possibility of any fun until we're back to the fight, but if he's as tough as you say, I'd better make the most of the opportunity."

Liara had watched the two Alliance officers go back and forth about Kaidan's plan. The look on her face told Shepard that the Asari had never imagined the spectre in the contextof an educational setting. Shepard allowed herself a small smile. _'And here I thought she'd done all her research.'_

The discussion about Kaidan's plans seemingly drawn to a close, Liara continued her inquiries. "And you, Garrus? How will you spend your downtime? Will you remain on the Citadel?"

Garrus' flaring mandibles indicated the humor behind his words. "As much as I'd like to continue to have my daily debriefings with the councilor and the ambassador, I'm headed to Palaven. I want to spend some time with my mother and sister. Unfortunately, my father has already set up more debriefings with several officers in the Hierarchy. Just a waste of time, of course. Since no one on the Citadel believed me, I don't expect anyone on the homeworld to. The ambassador didn't and she could see Sovereign by looking out a damn window."

Liara nodded. "Yes, the council has done a remarkable job of influencing opinion without specifically denying the Reaper threat. It does not hurt that the reality of the situation is so outlandish. The Geth are a known quantity, and it is easy to convince the populace that the Geth are the true threat, even though most people have never actually seen a Geth."

"It isn't helping my people either, Liara," chimed in Tali. "Not that Quarians have ever really been welcome on the Citadel, but with all the destruction being blamed on the Geth... Let's just say that with no Geth present to be the target of everyone's anger, we've become a convenient scapegoat."

"That's one of the reasons I worked to get her to stay at the embassy," added Garrus. "Unfortunately I couldn't get her granted asylum. Her government isn't the problem, it's ours. So I played the 'do we really want to be responsible if one of Shepard's crew gets beat up on the Citadel' card." He hummed to himself in satisfaction. "Thank the spirits the ambassador's an honorable woman even if she does refuse to believe her own eyes. She knew what I was doing, but let me get away with it anyway."

"And he's been kind enough to take me with him when he goes to Palaven," added Tali. "Not that I really want to impose, but I can't stay here. Without somewhere to go I'd have to return to the flotilla."

Shepard leaned forward at that. "If you don't want to go Tali, you're welcome to come with us. We're probably going to be fairly busy, but at least you'd be safe."

"I can only imagine how 'busy' you're going to be Shepard," Tali practically purred through her suit, as she indicated both the commander and Liara, "but I'll be fine. Besides, I've never been to Palaven." She sat back, afraid she had offended. "Not that Thessia wasn't nice Liara, it's just that when we were there, everything was so depressing... I'm going to shut up now."

Shepard smiled disarmingly at her uncomfortable friend. "I just want to make sure you're going to be taken care of. If that's on Palaven, great. I hope to make it there myself someday. Just remember that no matter what happens, you'll always have a place with me." She swept the group with her eyes to include them all, "And that's not just Tali, that's everyone. We have a long way to go, but we're going to get there together."

Tali's voice carried her obvious relief. "So, is Thessia your plan then Shepard?"

The commander glanced back at Liara before answering. "Looks that way. Neither the Council nor the Alliance seems to be willing to listen to us, but we're going to do what we can to at least get Armali somewhat prepared for the Reapers. I can't imagine what we could do in the way of defenses, but maybe we can get at least some people to a safe place. The galaxy's pretty big and there are a lot of unregistered colonies out there."

"Actually," added Liara, "I was hoping I could convince the commander to take a small detour before we went back to the estate."

Shepard chuckled. "Are you still thinking about that? Intai'sei just doesn't seem all that interesting to me Liara, but if you really want to go, I guess a couple of days in the middle of nowhere aren't going to hurt."

Tali clapped her hands. "Shepard! I can't believe that you were going to deny Liara a romantic getaway."

"There's nothing romantic about sand in my boots Tali, but if Liara wants to go that badly..."

"You should make recordings for a travel VI, Shepard," Liara teased the commander. "As appealing as you make Intai'sei sound, they'll be flooded with tourists in no time. However, that was not the destination that I had in mind."

"Oh?" Shepard wiggled her eyebrows. "Someplace more romantic than a prefab in the middle of the desert?"

Liara's voice was softer this time, with a touch of yearning. "I was hoping, that since you have seen where I grew up, that I could see..."

"No." The word passed from Shepard's lips with as much thought as breathing. There was no consideration at all.

The maiden took as deep breath, having prepared for this response. "Shepard, it is part of who you are."

"Part of who I was, and that part died a long time ago. I don't miss it. I haven't been back to Mindoir since I was old enough to sign the paperwork to take over the farm. I never planned to go back again." Shepard's tone was as rigid as the posture she had assumed.

"Shepard..."

"I think I'm done for the evening." Kaidan stood, obviously not wanting to be around for what looked like might develop into a stunning argument. "Commander, everyone, it's been a wonderful evening. I'll see all of you in 8 weeks." The lieutenant drew himself to attention, and saluted the commander before leaving.

The commander waved off Kaidan's salute before returning her attention to the Asari. "Liara, I understand why you want to do this, why you think I need to do this, but I don't. That part of my life is behind me. Completely."

"Shepard," Liara's tone was firm, even as she lowered her voice. "It is _not_ behind you. That part of your life is why you resent the Alliance so, why you dare your colleagues to strike out at you."

Shepard's voice was a blast of ice. "If you think I'm angry at the Alliance because of what the Batarians did, you're mistaken. I'm mad at the Batarians for that. I'm angry at my parents for putting us on a colony in the Traverse and then pretending it was safe. Trust me Liara, the Alliance earned my resentment all by themselves."

"Goodnight everyone!" Garrus added a false cheer to his voice as he stood. "We have a long way to go tomorrow. Can't be out too late! It was great to get everyone together." He made quickly for the door, Tali hurrying after without having a chance to articulate her own farewells.

As one Shepard and Liara turned to face Wrex, who grinned as he looked back in return. "Don't worry about me. It'd be worth getting caught in the crossfire. I always wondered who would win between you two." He took another shot as he looked the pair over. "No armor? Only a sidearm? Biotics or no, my credits are on Blue."

Liara made a noise of exasperation as she stood and grabbed Shepard by the wrist. "We can finish this back at the ship."

The commander remained obstinate even as she was pulled to her feet. "It's already finished Liara. I'll go anywhere else you want. Anywhere at all, but I am not going to Mindoir."

Wrex's eyes followed them as he started to stand. "Wait!" he bellowed.

Human and Asari turned as one, Liara still holding Shepard's wrist.

The Krogan shook his glass. "Does that mean no more drinks?"

Liara put her free hand to her forehead as she closed her eyes in frustration. "We have the suite all night Wrex. You can drink until dawn."

He sat heavily back into his lounge. "That's all I needed to hear. Enjoy your fight!"

"We are not fighting, Wrex. We are having a discussion."

"And we are not going to Mindoir!" added the Commander.

"Yes you are," murmured the Krogan as he watched Liara pull Shepard out of sight. He raised his empty. "Hey! Thirsty Krogan here!"

An acolyte swiftly came with more drinks.

o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

"Alien vessel, you have entered Mindoir space. State your business."

Zelana looked up at Shepard from her flight couch. "They can hear you, Commander."

Shepard looked down at the pilot and nodded. The commander had taken care to not let her annoyance with Liara influence her interaction with the crew of the Petite'aile. The effort required to do so had lessened greatly during the journey. Her irritation had faded nearly to nothing over the four days it had taken to travel to Mindoir. She had to admit it to herself, she just couldn't stay angry at the maiden. Not that she had really tried. "Mindoir control, this is the private vessel Petite'aile, en route to DuBois spaceport."

The response was immediate. "Negative Petite'aile, you are not cleared. Alien ships are to land at the Alliance garrison in Rousseau for search and customs."

Shepard shook her head even though the controller couldn't see her. "Mindoir control, this is Commander Shepard aboard the Petite'aile. This is a private vessel and we have nothing to declare. Please confirm clearance to DuBois."

"Denied Shepard, if that's really who you are. The Petite'aile is an alien vessel, and our procedures are not subject to debate."

The commander felt Liara's hand on her shoulder even as she kept herself calm. The man was just doing his job, although he seemed to be throwing the rudeness in for free. "The Petite'aile is a private vessel, albeit of Asari design. Is there a reason why you would make a citizen, resident, and landowner on Mindoir lose a day to unnecessary protocols? Rousseau is on the other side of the damn planet from our destination."

"If you're really Shepard, then you know why."

Shepard drew her thumb across her throat, eliciting a confused look from Zelana. Liara stepped up from where she had come up behind Shepard, reaching beyond Zelana and touching a control. "She meant for you to mute the transmission."

Sarah gave the maiden a grateful look even as she turned her attention back to Zelana. "Is there much traffic in system?"

A quick glance at the sensors allowed the pilot to provide Shepard the answer she sought. "Very little Commander. I detect a handful of sub orbital shuttles, a few private yachts, perhaps two dozen freighters. Typical levels for a colony this size."

"Any Alliance traffic?"

Zelana returned her attention to her sensors. "I read SSV Dunkirk in low orbit, just over the planetary horizon, 34 degrees from current course."

"Thanks Zelana. Could you turn the mic back on?" Shepard waited while the pilot did so. "Mindoir control, this is the private vessel Petite'aile again, this time requesting permission to rendezvous with the Dunkirk." Zelana transmitted their desired vector of approach.

The silence was longer this time. "Granted Petite'aile. Dunkirk has been informed and approves. I hope you don't think they're going to override civilian control on your behalf."

Shepard laughed. "I'm counting on it. This system is still under Alliance strategic interdiction. They can supersede you any time they want, and I plan to ask very politely. Petite'aile out."

Liara waited until her pilot had cut the transmission. "He was not very nice."

Shepard sighed. "It isn't any worse than I expected. Nonhumans aren't all that popular on Mindoir."

"I understand. I would be surprised if they were. Do you believe the Dunkirk will approve a landing at the civilian spaceport?"

"They'd better. The Alliance doesn't have any issue with reaching out every time they need someone to fix their problems. They can do me a favor for a change." She turned her attention back to the pilot. "Zelana, could you please make your way to the Dunkirk? Open a tightbeam once we have line of sight."

"We're in line of sight now Commander. Opening transmission."

The voice was obviously that of a young officer. "SSV Dunkirk. How may we assist?"

"Dunkirk, this is the private vessel Petite'aile. Is Captain Watkins available?"

"One moment Petite'aile." There was a brief pause. "This is Dunkirk actual," an older, deeper voice came across the comm this time.

"Addison! It's Shepard!" The commander filled her voice with joyful overtones for the benefit of the Alliance captain. "I was wondering if you could do me a favor..."

o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Captain Watkins had indeed intervened on their behalf, and Shepard found herself standing alongside Liara's ship looking out at the city she promised she'd never visit again. She closed her eyes as she repeated to herself the mantra that had gotten her through their approach. _'It's just another mission, it's just another mission.'_ It wasn't, but maybe she could still convince herself. She knew that Liara would be able to feel her uneasiness. Maybe that would keep the Asari from pressing too hard, from looking for too many answers. Maybe they could even be gone from here before very many people knew she was on Mindoir.

Some things had gone her way. She'd called ahead before leaving the Citadel. The house would be stocked and clean. Bobby wasn't on the planet, thank God. That was a meeting she did not need to have. Mindoir lived up to the stereotype of keeping a secret on a small colony. The Foundation had called her before they'd made it as far as the Widow relay, asking if she could come by, perhaps spend some time with the children. She'd promised to do what she could. She was torn between not wanting to visit without inviting Liara, and not wanting to expose Liara to any potential racism she might experience while in DuBois.

The sound of approaching footsteps prompted her to turn in time to see Liara's approach, framed against the low hanging sun. The sky was less lavender than Thessia, perhaps a bit darker blue than the maiden she was looking at. For Shepard however, it was simply "the sky". This is the color the sky had always been to her. Other worlds' skies were more orange or more yellow than "normal". Sometimes their skies were not blue enough. Even Earth's sky hadn't given Shepard the feeling of correctness that came with being on Mindoir. Seeing Liara poised against the horizon in the distance, for the first time in a while Shepard felt she was looking at a sky that was "just right".

"Mindoir is lovely Shepard, although a little cooler than I expected. Is it winter here?"

"You're comparing it to Thessia. It's late summer in the southern hemisphere. They're about two thirds of the way through the growing season on this part of the planet."

"This is summer?"

"You'll feel it later. It's just after dawn, but it's going to warm up soon." She looked appraisingly at the maiden. "Do you need a jacket?"

The Asari shook her head. "I wondered why there were so few people about." The maiden looked around the spaceport. "In fact, I see very few people. Shouldn't there be someone to meet us?"

"Who, Liara?" Shepard shook her head. "This isn't Armali. Almost all the traffic out of Mindoir is bulk freight. This is an agricultural colony." She waved at Eliata and Teseka, visible in the near distance. "Besides, you just had four Asari commandos establish a perimeter around the ship. I'm thinking any curious folks are going to wait for us to come to them."

"It was standard procedure Shepard."

"On Thessia, sure," she paused. "Look, I'm sorry, but aliens aren't all that popular here." She grinned to lighten the message, "Not even the beautiful ones. On the other hand, the Alliance isn't all that popular either. I don't want to stay in the city. The Dunkirk has confirmed my identity. You're all nonresident aliens in the company of a landowning citizen. A citizen who also happens to be an officer in the Alliance. We're about as cleared as cleared can be. We don't need to wait for the customs office to open."

"All right, Shepard." Liara nodded. "Back on the ship then?"

Shepard barked a laugh. "Only if you want to get shot down by the orbital defenses. Mindoir's pretty paranoid about nonhuman ships if you couldn't tell from the welcoming tone of traffic control. We'll need to go to the terminal to rent a couple of cars." She pointed to a low rise building off in the distance, about half a kilometer from the ship.

Liara's gaze followed the direction Shepard pointed. "Cars? Should we not rent a shuttle? We could not fit ten people and our luggage into two cars."

"I don't think the ship should stay here Liara."

The maiden took a step closer to Shepard. "You really believe it is that unsafe?" Her eyes scanned their surroundings for threats.

"No, not really, but why risk it?" When Liara's look still indicated confusion, she continued. "I know I'm being overly cautious, but you heard the traffic controller. He wasn't _quite_ hostile, but he sure wasn't happy to see us." She pointed to the Petite'aile behind her on the apron they'd been assigned. "I'd rather not leave our ride sitting here acting as a temptation for someone who has a problem with nonhumans, and I definitely don't want to risk leaving anyone behind to defend it. The ship can be replaced, people can't. We're not going to be here very long. Eliata and her team can come with us, and the ship can wait in orbit with everyone else."

"The ship can still be a target in orbit, Shepard."

"A mobile target, and I doubt anyone is going to do something stupid with the Dunkirk up there. Here, she's a temptation, and a stationary one to anybody with a grudge and a grenade."

"I am starting question my rationale for this visit."

"That's not what I was trying for, but you're right, this was your idea."

Liara straightened, a resolute look settling over her features. "This is your home, Shepard. I defer to your judgement, of course. We should secure transportation. Where would you like to go first?"

"This hasn't been my home in a very long time," Shepard corrected. "There won't be much open this early in DuBois, so I think we should go check on the house."

o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

It had taken longer than Shepard had hoped to rent a pair of aircars, but her caution had proven unfounded. The cars were secured, luggage loaded, and their journey underway with the only delay being that Shepard was recognized by the rental agent. It seemed that the title "Savior of the Citadel" followed her even to a backwater like Mindoir. Shepard realized she should have expected it. The same thing had happened after Elysium. She had been bombarded with requests for public appearances, but the most insistent had come from various contacts on Mindoir. "Mindoir's Daughter" they'd called her. She snorted. They hadn't cared so much when the Alliance dragged her away. She hadn't been important to them then. The first time that Mindoir cared about Shepard had been when the Alliance funding for the Institute dried up. They were happy to claim her as their own then too. _'And now a third time,'_ she thought morosely as she sighed. _'I've gotta stop coming to this rock.'_

Liara leaned over her, assuming the noise Shepard made had been in response to something she'd seen. "We're already over the outskirts of the city."

"Yah. DuBois isn't all that big, maybe 75,000 people. It exists to provide the region with a shipping hub."

"What is that?" A blue arm reached past her, hand pointing to a massive arrangement of buildings in the distance.

"That's the compound."

"Compound?"

Shepard sighed. "Officially, it's the 'Mindoir Foundation for Human and Societal Services'," she glanced at the Asari. "Sorry, the name's kind of anthro."

Liara's smile reached her eyes. "There is no need to apologize, Shepard. I doubt you named it."

The spectre turned away. "Well, I kinda did," she murmured.

"What?" Liara turned Shepard back to face her. " _You_ named it? Why? How?"

Shepard turned away again. "That's where they treated the survivors from the attack. Kids without families, Adults too traumatized to function without therapy. There's less use for that now, but it still functions as an orphanage. It also contains the largest hospital on Mindoir." She paused. "There are still about a hundred original survivors there, people they just couldn't put back together."

"That does not explain how you named it."

 _'Here we go,'_ Shepard's anger at coming to Mindoir was starting to resurface. "Because if I didn't name it, they were going to call it the 'Shepard Foundation'. I didn't need my name on something I'm trying to forget!"

Liara's fingers ran down her arm in a calming motion. "Is that where they sent you after your parents were killed? Is that why you are angry? The memories?"

"Ha!" Shepard's laugh was a snarl. "Oh no, they didn't send _me_ there. I was too _valuable_. It was only _later_ , after I started _paying for it_ that I was useful to Mindoir."

"I do not understand Shepard. What do you mean you were too valuable? Help me comprehend."

Shepard glanced briefly at Eliata, silently driving through what was becoming an emotional exchange. She turned her attention back to Liara. Remorse flickered at the edges of her anger as she saw the maiden blanch at the cadaverous look in the commander's eyes. "It's simple Liara. When the Alliance finds a naked sixteen year old surrounded by dead Batarians, they don't rehabilitate her, they weaponize her."

* * *

A/N: Assumptions here include:

FemShep/Liara  
Post ME1 ending - after the Battle of the Citadel, before beginning of ME2

Shepard is:  
Colonist / Vanguard / War Hero

Well, we made it to Mindoir. For those of you reading and reviewing, thank you as always. I haven't responded to any reviews since Chapter 12 because 13, 14, and 15 are one narrative (and I did not want a 13,000 word chapter). Once chapter 15 is up, I'll go back and respond to everyone, I promise.

As always, feedback is welcome and desired.


	15. Homecoming

Shepard remained silent after her rather unsettling disclosure. Liara yearned for more, longed for an opportunity to help put this right, to assuage some of the commander's obvious bitterness. Unfortunately Shepard seemed adamant in not providing her that opportunity, for now at least.

So Liara waited. This had been the most personal disclosure from Shepard since she'd met the Human. Difficult or not, painful or not, it appeared that their sojourn to Mindoir was having an effect on the spectre. If that effect was a positive one remained to be seen, but it was what the doctor had hoped for.

She sat quietly, one hand on the commander's knee, ensuring that her presence was not forgotten. Shepard gave no acknowledgement, and simply continued to watch the countryside roll past as they flew westward. Despite sensing Shepard's uneasiness, the Asari didn't press. Liara also ignored the temptation to check her omni-tool for fear of giving any indication that Sarah had less than her undivided attention. When the spectre spoke again, she would find an attentive, compassionate audience.

When the spectre spoke again.

Nearly thirty minutes passed while Shepard continued her review of the landscape. Knowing their likely proximity to Shepard's ancestral home, Liara quietly asked for an update.

"Eliata, have you locked onto the beacon yet?"

The captain of her guard was equally subdued in her response. "We aren't scanning, Peeress. Shepard provided me with a heading, not a guidance frequency. Inertial navigation indicates that we are not far from our destination."

Shepard emerged from her reverie. She reached out to grab the back of the empty seat in front of her and pulled herself forward. Liara scooted ahead to stay abreast of the commander as she used her new position to point slightly starboard of their current course. "No one in the valley uses directional guidance since... well, no one uses it anymore. If you don't know where you're going, you don't need to be there." She turned her attention from Liara to the Asari at the controls. "Not much further. The valley starts just beyond the mountain range." She indicated where the only road disappeared over the approaching mountains with her finger. "That's Roche Pass, pretty much the only way into the valley by ground from the East. The first farms start at the bottom on the other side."

The skycar gained altitude as Eliata skillfully adjusted to avoid any updraft created turbulence. The view thus revealed when they cleared the mountains was breathtaking.

The valley lay before them as if from a fairy tale. From their altitude a smattering of homes dotted the landscape like miniatures, the spaces between them painstakingly cultivated in green and brown crosswise rows. There were trees everywhere there weren't farms, an apparent mix of Terran greens and Mindoiri greenish-purples. The sky had brightened considerably since departing DuBois, the fluffy clouds having lost their orange tinge in favor of white and ivory. The mountains currently sliding beneath them cast only the shortest of shadows into the valley as the sun climbed behind them.

Liara was the first to speak. "Goddess, Shepard. It is beautiful," she whispered.

For the first time since the battle with Sovereign, Liara detected a hint of pride in the Human's voice. "Well everyone, this is it. Welcome to Lefevre Valley." Shepard had a sheepish smile on her face that Liara decided needed investigation. Before she had opportunity, Shepard addressed Eliata. "Stay high, turn to port, follow the edge of the mountains, and then head starboard when you reach the gorge." She went on to answer both Asari's unasked question. "It's not polite to fly over someone's house. It could be taken the wrong way."

Liara briefly wondered if that was true or if Shepard was again projecting. Obviously much of the traffic to the valley would be by air, and the homes closest to the mountains would expect flyovers to be a reasonably frequent occurrence.

Eliata commented as she turned to their left in a wide arc, "Peeress," this time directed at Shepard, "I am surprised that there are not defenses in evidence, given the history of this place."

Shepard grinned, like a child with a new toy. "Oh, they're there. They just know me. I'm handshaking for both cars." The commander waved her omni-tool over the car's instrument cluster. Suddenly hundreds of sensors and numerous weapons emplacements were highlighted on the heads up display. Eliata didn't flinch at the number of targeting systems locked on the car, but it was a near thing. "We'd have been challenged by now if it weren't for the squawk we're broadcasting. Pardon me," Shepard said as she leaned across the commando, passing the aforementioned frequencies to Eliata, doing the same for Liara as she eased back into her seat. "There you go, you're both friendlies now too. I'll get the others once we land."

Liara speared the spectre with a chastising look. "You could have done this before we left the spaceport, Shepard."

The grin grew into a smile, expanding until the commander was all freckles and teeth. "I know. It was cooler this way," she replied, unrepentant.

Liara shook her head, even as she allowed herself a corresponding smile. _'It was a difficult start, but there is yet hope. For as much as she fought coming here, she does have an attachment to this place.'_ She pointed at the farmland below. "Which property is yours Shepard? is it still being actively cultivated?"

The smile shrank and the sheepish look returned. "It is, and well, it's all mine."

"All of the farmland?"

Shepard turned back toward the window as her sweeping arm encompassed all the land in view. "The whole valley, actually. Lefevre Valley is just under 2800 square kilometers of some of the best farmland you'll ever see." She paused, "At least that's what my dad always said. I don't really have a basis for comparison, but it sounds good." She turned slightly back towards Liara, as if waiting for her claim to be refuted.

Liara understood. This land was her connection to her family. Her pride in it was her pride in them. "It is lovely, Shepard." _'And unexpected'_ she thought to herself. True, her holdings in Armali were about 250 times as large, but the valley below them represented no small amount of wealth. Wealth that Shepard not only never alluded to, but did not avail herself of.

"How...?" Liara let the question trail off.

"Dad was a biogenetic engineer. Worked for one of the big firms in the United North American States. He and a couple other guys broke off on their own when the company they worked for wouldn't fund the research he wanted to pursue. The other two gave up, but Dad kept going. Apparently mom was pretty pissed at the time."

Shepard turned back from looking out the front viewport. "Turned out for the best though. This was when Earth was significantly reducing funding and other support to the SA. Humans have always had an imperialistic streak. People of the Asian and Western European regions more than some, and that's who many of the early diaspora of spacers and colonists were descended from. You know the history. Humanity founded an absurd number of colonies in a very short time. So while Earth loved the concept of being a colonial power, they didn't want to pay for it." She cocked her head to indicate the valley below them. "That's what lead to this. All the SA had was cheap space travel. Colonies had to specialize to survive without support from Earth. Higher population worlds like Terra Nova went the route of commodity goods. Some, like Bekenstein, went upscale to luxury goods and services. Planets with low populations but lots of arable land obviously became agricultural centers." The trio looked out at the farmland stretching out into the distance.

After a moment she continued. "That's where my dad came in. He knew people would always need food, no matter what the political situation." She pointed down at the growing crops. "He's responsible for all of this, and not just here. He knew the colonies would need to farm well beyond the capacity of 'perfect' environments, so he worked on the development of heartier crops, more tolerant of environments different from Earth." Her face lit up with another expression of pride. "He developed the first generation of the 'grow-anywhere' cereal grains. Omni-wheat, omni-rye, omni-oats, those were all him. Each able to grow in different gravities, higher average winds, different solar spectra. You name the problem, he overcame it. Everything that came after, vegetables, fodders, they were all based on his methods."

Shepard paused to point out their hesitation to Eliata. "That one over there, 20 degrees to starboard. The yellow house two clicks back from the gorge."

She turned back to Liara. "That's the story. After a while Dad decided he wanted to grow food instead of design it. He thought about it for a while, but when mom had me that clinched it for him. The patents paid for all of this. Giving up his Earth citizenship meant that he also had to give up on the residual license revenue for his patents, but he already had enough to buy the valley." She shook her head. "When they'd fight my mom would call him a smug, brilliant son of a bitch, but he did love growing things." A touch of anger entered her tone. "He knew Mindoir was in a more dangerous location than some, but SA policy was always to respond to Human distress calls, even in the Traverse. He thought that made everything OK even though that's one of the reasons we butted heads with the Batarians so often." She took a deep breath. "Dad sure fucked that one up," she muttered.

"Anyway, he passed his love of the soil to John. He was always going to take over the farm when Dad retired." She paused before taking a shuddering breath. "I was more of a disappointment, you know?" Her eyes were downcast. "He taught me everything he knew about growing things, about the land. I could do it, but it wasn't in my blood. John was even better than my dad. He could increase a crop yield just by walking through the fields." She was silent for a moment. "I never had the same passion for farming that they had." She looked back up at Liara, just a hint of a curl to her lips as she offered the smallest of guilty smiles. "He knew it. I could tell. Knew that I wasn't going to follow in his footsteps. I think he held out hope that I'd at least become an engineer, put those Shepard genes to good use."

Liara placed her hand on Shepard's arm. "While this sounds very similar to Benezia's interaction with me, she was proud of me, even to the end. I am certain your father was proud of you as well." When Shepard didn't respond, she continued. "Did you always know you wanted to be a soldier?"

The smile disappeared in a flash, even as anger strobed in her eyes. "I _never_ wanted to be a soldier. That was a choice I wasn't given." This time the deep breath was a stabilizing one. "When the Alliance came, they took me to Arcturus. Taught me, trained me. Found me tutors to overcome my 'shocking lack of useful skill'. I could already shoot straight, which was a plus, but otherwise my only talent was a good eye for color."

Liara overcame her desire to hug Shepard, knowing it would likely elicit tears. Tears the commander would be embarrassed about. She needed to ensure that Shepard would never feel uncomfortable for opening up to her. Instead, she tried to reassure. "You have choices now. Anything you want. Where you live, what you want to do." Liara swallowed nervously, "Who you want to be with." She locked eyes with the spectre. "It is your decision, your choice."

"Thanks, Liara. It's not true, but thanks anyway."

"I mean it Shepard. We have the resources to allow you to do anything you desire, be anything you want."

Shepard cocked her head. "There is the small matter of the Reapers."

"Even so. If you wish for me to take you away from all this, I will. Everyone asks for so much of you. Let me be the one who gives."

Shepard's expression softened, even as she took Liara's hand. "I can't do that, and you know it." The spectre cast a meaningful look at the back of Eliata's head. "It isn't like we don't have other responsibilities too."

Liara was earnest in her response. "It is entirely up to you, Shepard. I support you in all things. If you wish, we can go somewhere where we will never be found. T'Soni would not be the first family to become a House in exile. I can keep you safe for the rest of your life."

"But not the rest of yours."

"Irrelevant."

"Not to me." Shepard leaned forward, kissing Liara gently on the cheek as the car touched down. "I love you for offering, but I can't walk away from this." She raised an eyebrow. "But if you want to...?"

"I go where you go."

"It's settled then." Eliata unsealed the canopy as the other commandos approached the car. "You wanted to see where I grew up. Here we are."

o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Eliata deemed the perimeter secure, but they still had yet to approach the house.

Liara leaned against the skycar as she watched Shepard. The commandos were in a huddle around the spectre as she passed her security keys to their omni-tools, and entered into an explanation of both the farm's and the valley's defenses. The commander had looked to Liara for assistance at Eliata's request, but had received none.

"They have a job to do, Shepard. Let them do it. You do not even know the defensive capabilities of the estate, let alone have access to them." That had prompted a knowing look that told the Asari what the first order of business would be when they reached Thessia.

"Are you going to leave Eliata, Teseka, unable to defend you if needed? Unable to defend themselves?" Liara could see that was the point that pushed the discussion in her favor. Shepard might be willing to shoulder unrealistic and unnecessary burdens, but she was a protector first and foremost. Suggesting that her behavior left members of her team, her _family_ , unsafe was intolerable to the Human. The woman had promptly stepped aside and began a detailed explanation of the security and defenses that the commandos now had access to.

Five omni-tools chimed as they announced an inbound skycar. Five heads, four blue and one with the lightest of pigment, looked first to their wrists, then northward.

Liara pushed off the car as she crossed the short distance to Shepard and the others. "What is it?"

Eliata answered for them all. "Inbound passenger vehicle Peeress. Sensors have cleared the vehicle and the occupant. The driver is a local resident."

"Someone you know?" Liara directed her question specifically to Shepard.

"Maybe?" Shepard didn't look thrilled with the idea of a guest. Then again, she hadn't looked thrilled by much this trip. "One thing about a sensor grid like we have here is that it's pretty easy to track comings and goings. I haven't lived here since it was installed, but a nosy neighbor would love it."

They all watched as the car circled in, seemingly undecided where to touch down until Shepard stepped away from the others and started walking towards the house. Once the Human separated herself from the others the car plummeted to earth practically at the commander's feet.

The canopy popped and the occupant was stepping out as quickly as she could fit herself through the opening.

Her gingham dress was an impediment as she exited the car, but she managed to extricate herself with only the most minor of missteps. The woman was shorter than Shepard, maybe 165 centimeters. She had olive skin. Her hair was a wavy black that reached midway down her back. Her brown eyes were wide as she ran to Shepard, capturing the spectre in what looked to be an unwelcome embrace.

Liara disliked her on sight, but held her hand down, indicating to the others that they wait for a signal from Shepard before taking any action.

Shepard pulled away from the woman, who still held onto the commander's shoulders. When Shepard looked over her shoulder at Liara with a "a little help here" expression, she moved forward with the commandos at her side.

The woman blanched, and took a step backwards while sneaking a glance at her car as if contemplating an escape.

Liara was now close enough to hear as Shepard reached out. "... wait, wait. It's OK"

"But they're _aliens_."

The woman's judgmental tone only reinforced Liara's dislike of the woman.

"Hey now," Shepard's voice was soothing as Liara stepped beside her. "This isn't Earth. We're all aliens here." She looked to Liara. "Liara, this is Helen Walker,"

"Collins," the woman corrected.

"Helen Collins then. We grew up together."

Liara offered the Human her hand. "Hello. I am Liara T'Soni. It is a pleasure to meet a childhood friend of the commander's."

The look on Shepard's face communicated that "friend" might be an overstatement, but Liara was determined not to do anything that might cause the situation to deteriorate.

Helen gingerly took Liara's hand, giving it the briefest of shakes before pulling back her hand and wiping it unselfconsciously on her dress.

"Sarah, who _are_ these people?"

"Well, at least you're calling them people now." Shepard's tone was not a tolerant one, with an expression to match. She started with the furthest commando. "This is Lysiliis, Anedra, Teseka, and Eliata. You've already met Liara." The commander's voice clearly indicated what she thought of Helen's treatment of Liara, but Helen seemed not to notice. She never even looked at the Asari as Shepard introduced them.

"Not their _names_ , Sarah. Who _are_ they? What are they doing here?" Helen seemed confused, as if no answer the commander could provide would make sense to her.

Shepard was nonplussed. Her head snapped to Liara as she looked her up and down as if committing her to memory. Liara watched as the Human opened her mouth once, twice. Started to speak then hesitated. Liara realized that Shepard had never introduced her to anyone before. Finally, once their eyes met, Shepard reached out to the Asari and pulled her close. When her attention returned to Helen, her voice was firm, resolute. "Liara's my bondmate." There was a subtle rustle to Liara's left, no doubt caused by four very surprised commandos. "Everyone else are friends of the family. I wanted to show them where I grew up."

"This," Helen stumbled over her words, "this is your family? You're coming home?"

Liara leaned into Shepard as the spectre's arm tightened around her possessively. "Yes, and no. This is part of my family. I live on Thessia now. Like I said, I wanted to show them the house, but I'm not moving here."

Helen looked conflicted. "I, I didn't think you were bringing anyone. Nobody said anything about guests. Bobby told me you'd had the house stocked, that you would likely be here this week. I just wanted to say hello, let you know that if you needed anything..." Her face was ashen, still unsettled by the combination of the familiar face of the commander surrounded by five Asari.

"You wanted to let me know that you married Bobby."

"Yes." She nodded her head, then paused. "Well, no. Wait. I mean I did, but that's not specifically why I came. I just thought that,"

Shepard interrupted, this time using what Liara had come to know as her diplomatic voice. "It's fine. I'm glad you found each other." Liara turned slightly to Shepard when the commander leaned over to kiss her on the cheek. "You obviously don't have anything to worry about from me."

Helen gaped at the pair before continuing, "I just thought that, you know, since you were together, and then the Batarians came. Then you were gone," Helen's words came in a rush. "No one saw you again until after Elysium."

"Helen!" Shepard interrupted a second time. "It's fine. Bobby and I weren't together. I don't know what you thought, but in any case that part of my life is long behind me."

"Bobby said you were together."

"Bobby said a lot of things." Shepard looked like she desperately wanted this conversation to end.

Liara took the opportunity to assist. "Was there something else Mrs. Collins? Something we can do for you while you're here?"

The woman blinked as she turned to Liara, as if truly registering the Asari's presence for the first time. "Is there anything... hold on!" She turned back to her car, reaching in and removing a sealed container from the front seat. "I know there's food in the house, but I thought." She shoved the container into Shepard's hands, nearly dropping it as she quickly let it go. "It's a pie. Apple. I made it this morning. Because I knew you were coming."

"Uh, thank you?" Shepard looked bemused.

"Bobby and I have three children. Sons." The woman looked at Shepard expectantly, as if seeking validation.

The spectre shook her head. "Good?" Helen's expression remained unchanged. "Look, I'd love to chat, but we do have a lot to get done today."

Helen finally took the hint. "Oh! Me too! I was just going to run over to the Wu house to see Mary." She started back towards her car, waving nervously.

"Probably to gossip about us," Liara heard Shepard mutter under her breath as the woman climbed into the car, never taking her eyes off Shepard.

They watched as the canopy closed and the car lifted off. This time heading East. Shepard didn't look away until the car was no longer visible.

Shepard turned to Liara with an awkward look on her face. "Well, at least we got a pie."

o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

The house had a certain pastoral elegance. It presided over the farmland around it as if the surrounding crops only existed to frame the home. The building was two levels, with a wraparound deck. The composite paneling, grained and roughened to give the perception of wood, was dark yellow with blue shutters and trim. The oversized barn was the same material, although in a North American traditional red and white, although none but Shepard were aware of the tradition.

Liara stood beside the commander, who was leaning on the rail. From the deck she could see some distance into the fields over crops that were just her height when standing on the ground. The Human was waiting quietly while Eliata had the commandos verifying the residence was secure. Shepard had disclosed the tunnel to the barn, the bolthole leading to the gorge, her father's lab, and three weapons caches. Although Shepard assured the commandos that all were secure, Eliata had declared that each had to be inspected. Liara was concerned that the commander might become impatient, but Shepard appeared to be in no hurry to enter the house.

"It shouldn't take much longer Shepard."

It took a moment for the commander to respond. She had offered little in the way of conversation since their visitor's departure. "I was just thinking that it seems to go faster when we secure a building."

"We never secure buildings, Shepard. You charge through them armed and armored, while the rest of us struggle to keep up," Liara teased, trying to lighten her mood.

Sarah rubbed her hands over her arms. "That's what I'm missing. I know it's warmed up, but it feels weird to be off the ship and not in my armor."

"But you are armed," Liara indicated the commander's sidearm, residing in a low slung holster, belted over jeans.

"Yah. You too." Shepard nodded at the identical pistol hanging at the Asari's hip.

"A habit I never expected to form."

"It looks good on you," Shepard appeared distracted even as she complimented Liara. "But if you want, next time I'll get you flowers." The Human cocked her head. "Is that an Asari thing? Flowers?"

"It can be," Liara nodded with a smile, "But I prefer useful gifts."

Eliata exited the house through the front door, joining the pair on the deck. She turned to Shepard. "Peeress, the residence is secure."

Shepard nodded. "You found the tunnel I see." The Asari had last been seen heading for the barn.

"Yes," Eliata confirmed. "The security systems are all high end, although most are 5 to 6 years from state of the art. We have had no difficulties interfacing with any system using the codes you provided."

"Good. What's next?"

"I intend to check in with the ship, and then assign watch schedules. Was there something else Peeress?"

"Not at all," Shepard waved away any potential concern from Eliata. "I was just curious."

With a nod each to Shepard and Liara, the Asari turned and re-entered the house, leaving Liara again alone with the commander.

Liara moved to follow, but stopped when Shepard did not join her.

Sarah's face was inscrutable as she stood looking at Liara, paused in the entranceway. "Are you not coming Shepard?"

The commander took a step, and then another before stopping again, only having crossed half the distance to the doorway. Her expression transitioned from one of unreadability to something more like panic. Her chest started heaving, as if she couldn't catch her breath. Her eyes were everywhere, seeking escape when there was nothing to escape from. Before Liara had a chance to respond to Shepard's sudden change in demeanor, the Human spoke breathless words that were barely comprehensible.

"I can't do this."

Liara nearly panicked herself. _'It must be a memory. I have never seen her like this. I should have anticipated, been ready.'_ The Asari hurried forward, arms outstretched. "You are all right Shepard. You don't have to do anything that you are not ready for. Please, let me help."

Instead of waiting, the commander turned and ran down the steps from the deck, heading South towards the horizon. "I'm sorry! I can't do this!" She yelled over her shoulder. This was followed by "I'll be back!" as she receded into the edge of easy yelling distance. Liara was left to watch as the commander made her escape from whatever she found herself unable to face.

Liara nodded as she closed her eyes, slowly releasing the breath she'd been holding. _'This is a setback, but not necessarily a bad one'_ the Asari told herself. _'Sarah was unable to hide her response from me. Now that it is out in the open, we can face it together.'_

"Peeress?" A subdued Eliata asked from behind her.

"Keep to your plan please Captain." Liara didn't turn around.

"And Sarah?"

"Her family died here Captain. In this place." Liara started down the steps. "Have whoever you assign to our protection remain out of sight. This is not going to be something she would willingly share."

"If I may Peeress, perhaps not even with you."

"I do not intend to give her that choice."

Liara started South, following in the commander's footsteps.

o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

It took nearly an hour for Liara to reach the commander. As on the Citadel, Shepard had not deactivated the locator function of her omni-tool. This action alone was enough to reassure Liara that her presence would not be unwelcome. It told her that on some level at least, Shepard wanted her there, wanted to talk to her.

She was sitting hear the edge of the gorge, overlooking the spectacle of the canyon. She was not availing herself of the view, however. Her legs were pulled up tight against her chest. Her arms were wrapped around her knees, with her forehead pressed on both. Of her head, only the Human's hair was visible, so when Liara sat down next to her that was where she placed her hand.

Liara admitted to herself that it would be difficult to say which of them took more comfort from running her fingers through Shepard's shaggy locks. She had been doing it long enough for her arm to cramp when Shepard finally looked up and turned to her.

The commander had been silent, breathing long and even. Liara would never have known she'd been crying if it weren't for the tear tracks on her face.

"I'm sorry I ran. I haven't been in the house since, well, you know."

"It is all right Shepard."

"You should go."

 _'And so it begins,'_ thought Liara. "I am not going anywhere."

"No, I mean it. I'm a monster." The look in her eyes was pleading. "I'm sorry. I never knew."

"Because you were unable to save your family?" Liara shook her head. "No." Her tones grew cold, forceful. "You were a child. I will not allow you to place the responsibility for what happened onto yourself." She waved the hand not fully engaged in Shepard's hair. "What you have done here is very impressive, but you do it to repay a debt that is not yours. This was not your fault. There are many who can share blame for what happened here, but none of them are you."

"I get that. I don't completely agree but I do see your point."

"Oh?" Liara wasn't about to let the Human off that easy.

"I do. Really. I should own up to some of it, be responsible, but I understand it wasn't all on me." She ticked off points on her fingers. "We all knew I was a potential biotic. I should have insisted on being tested, but I didn't. I shouldn't have been that far from the house without my gun, but I was. I should have had Bobby stay with me until we understood the situation, but I let us split up." She put her finger up in a shushing motion when Liara started to speak. "I also don't know if any of it would have made a bit of difference. I've been thinking about this a lot since we talked about it last. Talked about duty. And blame," she looked away. "And Benezia. I'm sorry, I shouldn't make you have to relive that."

Liara wouldn't let her deflect. "Benezia made her choice. We are not talking about her. We are talking about you, and why you suddenly believe you are a monster."

There was a long, weary silence. Silence that allowed the imagination of a young Asari to run rampant, to come up with all kinds of arguments that she would have to counter. None prepared her for the commander's response.

"Helen."

"Your friend?"

"She wasn't my friend, Liara. At best, she was a classmate. Her family homesteaded not far from DuBois, but ended up sharecropping here when that didn't work out. Look, that part's not important." Pain was evident in her eves when she looked at Liara. "I'm glad I'm not her."

"I am happy as well, Shepard." Liara scooted closer to the commander, hips touching.

"You don't get it. I _would_ have been her. I _should_ have been her. But I'm not, and I'm glad!"

Liara waited, her patient gaze encouraging Shepard to continue.

Sarah sighed as she looked away from Liara. "If the Batarians had never come, that would have been me. I would have been her. Probably married Bobby, had a few kids, worried about next season's yield." She raised her arm in a dramatic gesture. "Commander Shepard... housewife." She turned back to Liara. "I'm glad I'm not her."

"You had to endure a great deal, Shepard. You have earned your position in the Alliance and with the Spectre Corps."

"Did I? Once the Batarians came the Alliance would never let me be anything but a soldier, a vanguard. When I was a kid, I always wanted to get off this rock. I told you I didn't have a knack for farming. This wasn't the life I wanted, and then the Batarians came, and suddenly that wasn't my life anymore. The Alliance 'saved' me from that life."

Liara waited for her to continue.

"I hated the Batarians for what they did to my family. I hated the Alliance for taking me away from the only home I ever knew." Bitterness returned to Shepard's tone.

"And you have overcome this. You are a hero. You are able to work with Batarians, as well as other races. I know no Human who sets a better example of interspecies relations."

"And I've gotten to experience things that kid never dreamed of. But what if I... " Shepard trailed off.

"Shepard?" After a moment, "Sarah?"

"Could it be that I was hoping for that? I was afraid I'd been weak, or stupid, but what if the kid I was saw opportunity? Opportunity to get off Mindoir, to lead a different life," her cheeks gained just a tinge of pink, "Maybe meet a hot Asari."

"You were young and frightened, Shepard." Liara's tone had long since become soft and comforting as her arm had dropped to the commander's waist, "If anything, it is a miracle you survived. It does not make you a 'monster' because the Batarian attack led to opportunities you might otherwise not have had."

"I told myself that, but now I'm not so sure."

Liara closed her eyes. This was the time. Every minute since she'd learned of what happened to the commander had led to this moment.

"Sarah, tell me what happened when the Batarians came."

Shepard's response was immediate. "No." She tried to pull away, but Liara held her fast.

"It is time. You are ready to tell someone. Please let it be me."

"I can't." She turned as far away as she could. "I just can't."

"Show me then."

Several minutes passed, and then, "OK."

* * *

A/N: Assumptions here include:

FemShep/Liara  
Post ME1 ending - after the Battle of the Citadel, before beginning of ME2

Shepard is:  
Colonist / Vanguard / War Hero

The conversation Shepard refers to is in Chapter 7.

I think we all know what happens next, right? There's more violence than in any previous chapter, so if that isn't to your liking, just skip chapter 16 and wait for 17. Suffice to say, Shepard survives.

As always, feedback is welcome and desired.


	16. Origins

**Notice: This is not a fun chapter. There is a significant amount of violence, death, and degradation - especially compared to the rest of the series. If any of that is triggering for you, I suggest waiting for chapter 17.**

* * *

Sarah's eyes were closed. She could feel the breeze across her legs. The warmth of the sun caressed her feet. It was tempting to just let go, to let sleep claim her.

She'd needed a break. A break from the boredom and monotony. So instead she'd decided to go out and add frustration to the mix. That hadn't helped at all.

She'd spent more than an hour this time trying to get the color of the mountain just right. The subtle purples where the sun didn't shine directly. She'd never seen a color like it anywhere else, and reproducing had escaped her yet again. Recreating it had been her goal for months. She had hundreds of landscapes now, each a testament to her failure. She could cheat, just color match an image, but that wasn't how she operated. She didn't take shortcuts, no matter how tempting.

Her mom tried to reassure her. Called her drawings "beautiful" even when they weren't. Had even digitized a few and added them to the rotation in the frame in her office.

Sarah sighed. She accepted that her mother's viewpoint was biased. She still couldn't being herself to look at the images her mother'd put on display. At best they were fair, but that was unacceptable, especially after so many attempts. The only reason any still existed was because Mr. Alim had chided her when she told him she'd thrown away some of her works in frustration. He'd quietly informed her that an artist treasured all drafts, early or late.

Which was why her room now contained a stack of nearly three hundred drawings of the gorge and the mountain beyond.

For now however, her tablet was closed and set aside. Sarah still hadn't decided if a nap was in her future when the decision was made for her.

The ATV's approach was preceded by the low whine of the motor. She could make out the crunch of tires on dirt, the rustle of the tall grass succumbing to the weight of the vehicle. All combined with the whine to announce her visitor's impending arrival.

She sighed before opening her eyes, knowing who the driver must be. Her father would have come on foot. John, she smiled at the thought. She'd never hear John coming.

Sarah sat up, not wanting to become an unfortunate victim of the unobservant driver. She gave a quick glance over her shoulder, confirming that she was in fact the ATV's destination. The dust trail rising towards the sky was an arrow pointed straight at her.

She prepared for her visitor. Sarah slid her markers and tablet into her bag, which she repositioned next to her shoes, safely away from the vehicle's approach. She pulled the hem of her dress down over her knees, and made a point to focus her gaze on the far size of the gorge, away from the approaching ATV.

Sarah held her pose for barely thirty seconds before the ATV broke free from the grasses that bordered this side of her dad's property. It barreled straight for her, neither swerving nor slowing. When the vehicle was only ten meters away the driver applied full brakes and swerved sharply, coming to a stop just beyond her feet, showering her with dust and pebbles in the process.

As the driver cut the motor and dismounted, Sarah was careful to maintain a neutral expression, as not to encourage his behavior. She wanted to communicate that neither was she impressed at his prowess, nor annoyed by his recklessness. If he was hoping for a reaction, it would be a long time coming. After a moment, he crossed the short distance to her, stopping when he was directly between her face and the sun, forcing her to squint when she looked up.

"Hey Sarah."

"Hi Bobby," she replied, her voice deliberately devoid of any enthusiasm.

The boy crashed down next to her, making no effort to slow his descent as he allowed his legs to fold under him. "Your dad thought that you might be out here."

"That isn't surprising. I told him where I was going." Sarah looked away, again not wishing to encourage.

"He said you left pretty early," he continued.

"I got up early. I was done with my chores," she countered.

"Your mom thought you might be hungry since you left before lunch," he paused. "She made me some pie, and then gave me sandwiches. You know, in case you were hungry." He jerked his head back towards the ATV. "They're in the cargo box."

"I'm not hungry," she responded, ignoring the implication that he had discussed his plan to come here with her mother.

"Are you sure? Girl's gotta eat." The display of concern was lessened by his actions as his eyes roamed up and down her body. He paused noticeably at both her toned legs and the neckline of her dress. When his eyes finally reached her face he found an unblinking stare in return. He looked away quickly, embarrassed at having been caught looking.

Sarah reached over and opened her bag, pointing it towards Bobby. "I brought food. I planned to be out here for awhile." She allowed him to see the empty wrappers of several meal replacement bars among the bag's contents.

"How can you eat that crap?" Bobby's voice expressed relief that the conversation continued. "There's real food at your house."

"It's light, it's easy." She conveyed the benefits of prepackaged foodstuffs. "Since it doesn't need to be cooled, I don't have any condensation getting my papers wet."

"It tastes like cardboard," he argued.

She responded with an easy shrug, conveying both her lack of concern about the taste as well has her disinterest in his opinion. "It's food. I care about convenience more than the taste." After a moment she continued, "It doesn't taste that bad anyway."

He reached across her, hand in her bag before she could respond by snapping it shut. He pulled out a unopened bar.

"Fruit medley?" He asked tauntingly. "Does it sing?"

"It's sweet."

"Not as sweet as you," he responded as he tore an end off the wrapper. When she didn't respond he broke an end off the bar and put it in his mouth.

"Muagh," he turned his head and spit it out almost immediately. "That's disgusting. How can you eat those?"

"Apparently with more finesse than you." Her eyeroll was lost on him as she deftly took the remaining bar out of his hand and replaced it in her bag. A quick movement and the dropped wrapper joined the partially uneaten bar.

He took the opportunity while she organized the contents of her bag to scoot closer to Sarah. "You said you were going to be out here awhile. When'd you plan to go home?"

"Not much longer. I won't have the proper light for much more than another hour."

"Are you still doing those drawings? You must have thousands of them by now." The mocking was subtle, but present.

"Hundreds, but thanks. And I'll keep doing them until I get it right."

Bobby intelligently decided not to pursue that line of conversation. "I was just wondering if your dad was still gonna be home when you go there."

Sarah's blood chilled. "You want to talk to my dad? Why?"

"My dad was planning to talking to your dad when he comes back from meeting about the co-op," Bobby began.

"Is he still trying to get that going? What for? The whole planet's effectively a co-op. If you add another layer of administration all you get is higher cost and lower return," she interrupted.

"That's your dad talking. My dad knows what he's doing. A co-op would make things better for everyone."

Sarah shrugged in response. She knew better.

"Anyway," he continued, "he was going to talk to your dad about some of the unclaimed acreage in the northwest part of the valley."

"Oh? That's a long way from your farm. He hoping to expand again?" For the first time Sarah was genuinely curious.

"Yes, and no. Dad was hoping that he can stake me on that property, that your dad would give me the same rate as him." Bobby sounded eager.

"Just acreage, or are you looking to homestead?" she asked shrewdly.

"Homestead. There's enough land to support a family even at thirty percent an acre," he said earnestly.

Sarah was uncomfortable at the word family coming from Bobby while he sat so close to her, hand now resting on her knee. "You're a little young to be homesteading. Your dad's going to have to be very persuasive. He'll probably have to provide a guarantee."

Bobby's chest puffed out. "I'll be eighteen next month. I work hard. I can bring in enough to pay for the land, and show a profit."

Sarah sighed. "I didn't mean you don't work hard, but these are the same questions my dad is going to ask. Can you pay him when you also have to pay your dad back for a house? Equipment? Seed?"

"That's where you come in," he replied, hand starting to move slowly up her leg. "I was hoping you can put in a good word for me."

She glanced down at his hand as it started moving up her dress. At least it was on the outside. So far. "If my dad thinks it's a bad idea, then it's a bad idea. Me telling him otherwise isn't going to change his mind. My opinion about the deal won't make a difference." _'Especially if I agree.'_ " It's all about facts to him."

Bobby scooted closer. "Sure, but if he's on the edge. If he could go either way, your opinion will matter then."

"It might," she conceded, thoughts pulled in different directions as Bobby's hand slowly transitioned to her abdomen, "I mean, I'm not going to tell him not to do it or anything."

"That's all I ask." Deep brown eyes met green as Bobby continued to make his case. "Your dad likes me, I can tell. If you're OK with it, he'll be OK with it. After all, we could be talking about your homestead too."

Sarah was just considering that any land she decided to homestead would come free to her if she stayed in the valley. Maybe that was Bobby's plan all along. She opened her mouth to draw breath just as Bobby lunged forward mashing his lips against hers in an awkward kiss. She reflexively pulled back, but Bobby followed. His tongue probed into her mouth even as his hand moved up to cup her breast.

 _'Seriously?'_ She and Bobby had had a few makeout sessions. Some of them involving a bit more alcohol. Some included a bit less clothing. All were far more romantic than this. Being pelted with dust and pebbles on a warm afternoon was not on the list of things that Sarah found stimulating. She placed a hand in the middle of his chest and pushed him away, even as she disgustedly wiped her mouth with the other. "Stop it Bobby."

"Why?" asked Bobby, a sullen anger creeping into his voice. "You know you..."

"So help me Bobby, if you say I know I want something I'm going to kick you in the face."

Bobby leered as he reached for her again, taking her anger as a challenge.

"In the face, Bobby!"

"You didn't mind last week," Bobby replied indignantly, sitting back.

"Because I was having fun last week. Because you weren't being an asshole last week, talking about buying land from my father and then grabbing me like I came with the deal." Anger shone in Sarah's eyes, making a home for itself as Bobby cast about for the words that would save this situation.

"Fun? We were studying," he countered. "In fact, we were actually studying," he frowned. "You made me wait until we finished studying before you would let me kiss you."

"Two things joithead " she responded with an edge to her voice. "First, smart is superior. Anyone who wants to end up with me has to have a brain. You should look into that. Second, you noticed I let you kiss me. You didn't take a kiss, you didn't steal a kiss. I let you kiss me. If you don't respect me enough to take my wishes into account then you'll never get to kiss me again."

"Aww, sweetheart..." Bobby began as he reached for her.

Sarah rose to her feet. "Strike two Bobby. You aren't going to like strike three."

o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o

Bobby's reply was cut short by a squeal from both of their omni-tools.

Sarah opened her omni to identify the alarm. She'd never heard that one before. There were two alerts showing. She thumbed the omni to silence as she read the first. All Colony Alert. Take shelter, it said. She tried to scroll through for additional information, but there wasn't any. She called the house, but just received an error for her trouble. She was presented with the same error when trying to connect to each of her parents. As a last ditch effort for more information she sent out an extranet query to find the current status of the colony. Her inquiry received no reply. She pinged the uplink. No response. She glanced meaninglessly upwards before finally deciding to try to hit the satnet directly. Her dad would be upset at the fee, but she was overcome by a building desire to know what was going on.

Nothing.

"Bobby, can you access the extranet?" Her anger was gone, replaced by a dread that she couldn't identify.

"I can't. I think the uplink's down." He held out his arm to show the error message.

She barely glanced at it. "It's not the uplink. I can't hit a satellite either." She met his eyes. "This could be big, Bobby. Nothing planetside would take out the satellite network too."

"I don't have the power to connect to anything in orbit." Bobby's reply was tinged with envy. "Can you reach a comm buoy?"

"Too far," she replied distractedly. "Second alert was from my dad. He's telling everyone in the valley do go on lockdown and wait for his all clear." She slid her feet into her shoes as she picked up her bag. "We have to get going." Sarah was never one to hesitate over a decision once made.

Bobby jumped on the ATV, patting the seat behind him. "I'll give you a ride."

"Bobby, it's not on your way. You need to get home. Your dad's not here, your mom will be worried."

"I can't leave you here." He waved his arm, encompassing a landscape that appeared as peaceful as it had moments before.

"I'll be fine. I'll be home in 20 minutes. You can be too if you go now."

Bobby's face twisted into a grimace as he tried to rationalize leaving Sarah to fend for herself.

Sarah ran to the ATV and kissed him quickly on the cheek, for motivation. "Really, I'll be fine. You need to go."

"OK." Bobby thumbed the power and circled to head back the direction he'd come.

"Bobby!" she called.

The ATV stopped as he looked over his shoulder.

"Go slow. Lean down. Keep your head below the grass until you reach the fields. Don't kick up any dust."

"Why?" he asked, confusion in his eyes.

"Just do it. Dad's trying to keep everyone safe from something. You don't want to be seen." Her tone allowed no discussion.

Bobby didn't reply, but as he pulled away he was lying low against the ATV.

o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o

Sarah walked quickly. Her shoes padding against the dirt as she maintained an even pace just short of running. She held her bag tightly to her side to precent it slapping against her hip. Between the temperature and her speed, she wished she'd brought more than the single bottle of water. She'd finished it long before Bobby intruded on her afternoon and she could have used it now.

She hadn't ignored the advice she'd given Bobby. Her father was most definitely not an alarmist. If he'd sent out a lockdown order, the best thing everyone could do would be to stay in their homes. She was bent low as she drew closer to home. Otherwise her 175 centimeter height would tower a full 50 centimeters over the grain around her. She could see the haze of smoke in the sky. It did not reassure her. _'Could it be a fire?'_ she wondered, before dismissing it out of hand. Fire wouldn't take out access to the extranet, and her father would be rallying volunteers, not telling other colonists to hide.

She slowed abruptly when she heard voices, coming to a stop just before she would have broken from the cropline. Male voices. Harsh voices. She silently placed her bag on the ground before creeping forward. She wanted to see what was going on, but didn't want to expose herself in the process.

The house was sealed, windows and doors closed, something she never saw this time of year. There was a shuttle out front, off to the side, in the opposite direction from the barn. The shuttle wasn't marked, but it didn't look military. It was too old, too worn looking for that.

There were several men walking around. Batarians, she realized with a chill. Maybe a dozen? She counted. Ten. Ten Batarians. There were four by the house, four standing about halfway between her and the front door, and two who seemed to be patrolling the area. If this was all there were, maybe she could get to the barn without being seen. She wasn't sure if she wanted to try. She could hide in the barn, but she wouldn't the able to see what was going on. There was no way she could make it to the house. Both the front door and side kitchen door were in plain view of the the Batarian's position.

"Human!"

Sarah started at the Batarian's shout.

"I hear you." Her father's voice came in return.

"Your time has come and gone." The Batarian was easily heard even without amplification.

"Thanks. I'm not wearing a watch." _'Christ, Dad. Way to piss of the scary guy.'_ She closed her eyes.

"You think you have won, that you only need wait us out." The Batarian began. "And although I am patient, even my patience has limits. Send out the all clear and I won't burn down your home. You have no choice. Your transmitter will be destroyed along with your family in any case."

Sarah shivered. This was no joke. These people were threatening to kill her family. She sank even lower, until she was prone on the ground.

"Burn down my house and there won't be anyone to send the all clear. Destroying the transmitter doesn't fix that." Sarah was proud of the strength in her father's voice, even as she feared for him.

"That is acceptable to me. Do not test my resolve. I've already burned down two homes in this valley. I could burn them all down."

"What are you waiting for then?" Her dad challenged the Batarian.

"You seem like a reasonable man. What is your name, Human?" The Batarian paced as he spoke.

"Shepard," came her father's response.

"Shepard," the Batarian resumed. "My name is Khakkes. I am also a reasonable man. I only want two things from you. The settlers in this valley appear to look to you for direction. Send them the all clear."

"And the other?" her father demanded.

"Shut down your distress beacon. Only two went active on this planet. We have destroyed one. You possess the other. Do these things and I will let your family live. You have my word."

"And what happens to everyone else? The other families?"

"That is not your concern. I have given you my terms. You only need accept them, and this event will pass you by." Khakkes waited for a response. "Well?" he demanded when none was forthcoming.

"No deal."

"You will change your mind, Shepard. When the fires reach your mate, your children. When they run to the mercy of the gun to extinguish the pain of the flames." Khakkes' voice hardened even further. "We will not be merciful then."

Her father didn't reply. Sarah didn't know what response he could have had. She knew he was playing for time. Khakkes knew it too. If a distress signal made it to the comm buoy, the Alliance might already be on their way. Even if they had disabled or destroyed the satnet, the Batarians would have left the comm buoy alone. Having the buoy fall off the network would be a greater indication of hostilities than just a loss of contact. Colonies dropped off the network all the time, with their substandard communications gear and few spare parts.

Sarah was overcome with the desire to do something, anything. There didn't seem to be anything she could do to help, at least not without getting herself killed. If only she had more information. She struggled to make out the conversation between the other Batarians, but to no effect. With the exception of Khakkes, none of them were speaking loudly enough for her translator to pick up over the noise of the wind though the grain.

An examination of the men did reveal a few items of note. The Batarians weren't heavily armed, most with pistols, and a couple with shotguns. Everyone in the house should be safe if the small arms were all the Batarians had. Only three were wearing any armor, none with a complete set. Not military, she concluded. Not mercenaries either. Pirates perhaps? Slavers? She shuddered again before forcing the thought from her mind. She didn't see any rifles. That meant she might be safe at a distance. She reflected that if these were the only Batarians in the valley, she would have been safer to remain where she'd been. Ah, the benefit of hindsight.

Sarah's perspective changed as she was unexpectedly yanked to her feet. Another Batarian had found her, nearly pulling her arm out it's socket as he jerked her upright. Even as fear seized her, her first thought was _'Fuck. Eleven.'_

"Ager! A Human!" her captor called out to the Batarian who had been speaking to her father. The man turned, angered by the distraction. Then he slowly smiled. A broad smile, one filled with razor sharp teeth. Sarah saw pain in that smile. Pain enjoyed for pain's sake.

"Bring her here."

o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o

Sarah struggled against the Batarians holding her, one at each arm. If they were bothered by her effort, it didn't show.

"Human!" called Khakkes.

"What?" came the response.

"You have a guest." The Batarian's tone was almost cordial. "Wouldn't you like to see?"

"I'll take your word for it."

Khakkes stepped close to Sarah, his breath in her face. He stood there for a moment, before a quick motion of his wrist produced a small knife. She followed his eyes downward to his hand, where another motion extended the blade. The knife was small, intended for concealment, not combat. Designed to slice, not stab, it had a thin blade no more than 7 or 8 centimeters in length. A movement of his head brought Sarah's attention back to his eyes.

"Speak girl, let them hear you." The threat was plain.

Sarah held her silence. She knew there was no purpose in calling out to her father, her mother. What could they do? Rush a group of armed pirates? The best she could do was not torture them.

His hand slowly rose between them, until the knife was pointed at her face. "If you have no desire for speech, perhaps you don't need that tongue."

She tried to turn away, but another Batarian grabbed her head and turned it back to face Khakkes. She shook, but still didn't speak, even as she met Khakkes' glare.

The Batarian turned away, again addressing her father. "She's a pretty one. The hair, the eyes. There are many who would offer vast sums for such." He turned back to face Sarah, gripping her chin with his free hand. She tried to pull away, but was no match for his strength. "So fine, such spirit. This one alone might be worth the trip. She'd make an excellent concubine. Very satisfying. That is, until she loses her looks, until her spirit is broken. Then I could sell her as a breeder."

"Let her go, you bastard!" Her father's voice carried from the house.

Khakkes smiled, obviously pleased at eliciting the response from Shepard. "You know my terms. Send the all clear and you won't have to watch my men take turns with this child."

Sarah waited, horrified that her father might agree, terrified that he wouldn't.

Khakkes again pitched his voice for Shepard's hearing. "She would fetch a high price at auction on Khar'shan." Again he paused, waiting for a response. When none came, he continued, "They're worth more unmarked, but I think I'll make an exception." He casually flicked his knife across her face. Sarah flinched, but that wasn't enough to keep him from cutting a gouge through her left eyebrow. She blinked as the blood started to drip down into her eye, but she still held her silence.

With her father refusing to respond, Sarah knew worse was coming. It was like a dance. Her father had what Khakkes wanted. Khakkes could torture her, but he couldn't kill her, not without losing his leverage. The problem was that her father wasn't an optimist. He'd never trust the Batarian. He'd never sacrifice the other colonists because he simply wouldn't believe Khakkes would free her. Sarah was aware that as soon as Khakkes realized that, realized that he had no leverage, she would be of no further use to him. She swallowed, trying not to let her dispair show. _'This is it,'_ she thought. _'This is where it ends.'_ There was no way out for her. All she could do was try to help her father bide time. Try to make him proud.

"It's possible you don't know the quality of the goods I'm offering," Khakkes yelled, again for Shepard's benefit. "It may be you haven't sampled this item?"

"Hold," he instructed the Batarians around her.

The two on her arms tightened their grip while the third grabbed a handful of hair. The one holding her hair pulled her head back, stabilizing her with a painful grip on her shoulder. Khakkes grabbed a fistful of dress at the middle of her chest, pinching her breasts as his fist caught her bra as well. He plunged his blade into the fabric, cutting downward, just touching her skin. He stopped just before her hemline, and a sharp yank ripped the remains of the dress away like tissue. A pair of slices through her bra straps and panties left her standing naked except for her shoes. A line of blood droplets started to bead along the scratch Khakkes had cut down her chest and abdomen.

Sarah could see their faces in the window now. Her father, her mother. She could feel her face flush with embarrassment. Felt shame at being on display to torment them.

"You see?" he yelled as he turned back towards the house. "A fine property. Perhaps I will even share a finders fee with you."

Rage was evident on her father's face, but he didn't reply. Couldn't. He knew how this would end as well as she did. Sarah met his eyes. Tried to convey her feelings without words. _'Take care of them Dad. Don't let this be for nothing. It's not your fault.'_

Khakkes turned back to her, furious at still being unable to bend Shepard to his will. His was a familiar anger to Sarah, one she'd seen many times. She couldn't keep the faintest of smiles from appearing on her face. _'You and Mom both. Dad's the most stubborn guy I know,'_ she thought.

The Batarian stepped into her, grabbing her hair himself this time, pressing his body against hers. "You think this funny, girl? This is no game."

Sarah took a deep breath as she resigned herself. She could see her death in his expression. Despite that, she refused to give Khakkes the satisfaction of closing her eyes even as she gritted her teeth. Her dad was watching. She couldn't disappoint him. She promised herself she wouldn't cry out, wouldn't even change her expression, no matter what Khakkes did to her. Even though it cost her her life, she wouldn't let this filthy pirate use her against her family.

She quickly learned that intentions could only take you so far. Her breath hitched when the Batarian slipped his blade into her abdomen, a sardonic smile on his face. The blade never made a sound. How could something so quiet hurt so much? Only the Batarians holding her arms kept her from doubling over.

"You earned that, Human," he whispered for only her to hear as he slowly pulled his blade from her body.

"No!" A crazed shout. All eyes turned to the house as the front door crashed open.

"John! Stop!" her father's voice.

John ran out the front doorway, hunting rifle in his hand. He'd barely left the deck when one of the Batarians flanking the door fired his shotgun. The pirate had aimed low, completely blowing one of John's legs off at the knee, and shredding the other. John's rifle flew from his hands as he fell face first into the dirt.

While one pirate was occupied with John, the other three guarding the door charged into the house. They were quickly followed by the Batarians on patrol. Gunfire was rapidly exchanged, six shots, eight, twelve. Khakkes moved behind her, waiting to see who survived to exit the house.

A few seconds later, it was over. It was her father who was pulled from the house. Head hanging forward, he was half dragged, half carried by a Batarian at each arm. He had a gunshot wound to his thigh and a deep cut over one eye. His pants were soaked with blood. No one else came out.

Sarah's vision was starting to blur, but she was still able to realize what happened. She struggled to process the violent death of her brother and mother. _'My god Dad, you and Mom got four of them.'_

The Batarians pulled Shepard most of the distance back to Khakkes, before driving the Human to his knees. Sarah jumped as the third Batarian fired his shotgun into John's back before joining the others. An empty gesture as John hadn't moved since he went down.

Khakkes strode confidently to Shepard. "You seem to have lost your bargaining position Human."

"Fuck you."

The response drew a swift backhand from Khakkes, his gauntleted hand breaking Shepard's cheekbone with a loud crack. "Send out the all clear."

"Fuck you." This time bloody spittle flew from his lips.

"I don't understand." Khakkes paced back and forth in front of Shepard. "There was no need for this. I had no desire for violence. I only required one thing. Simple cooperation, and I would have been on my way."

The Batarian grabbed Shepard by the hair, tilting his head back as Sarah's had been earlier. "You have made it clear that you are of no value to me Human. I dispose of things that have no value." The knife appeared again in his hand, only this time the target was not clothing. The Batarian drove it into the side of Shepard's neck, and started slicing across.

Sarah's vision narrowed. Everything at the periphery became blurred to red as her view was reduced to a tunnel. A tunnel ending at Khakkes and her father. She was dead. She knew it, she accepted it. But her dying act was going to knock that bastard's teeth down his throat.

She hadn't struggled since Khakkes had plunged his knife into her body. The Batarians holding her had slackened their grip as they focused on their leader. Sarah readied herself, gave no indication that she was about to surge forward. She was only going to get one chance at this. She focused on Khakkes' face. That was her target. Her entire being was focused on delivering her fist to that point in space.

Time had slowed for Sarah. The red haze covered all of her vision now. Khakkes' blade had only made it halfway across her father's throat when she leapt, driven by all the power and rage her sixteen year old body could muster. She tore free from her captors, moving so fast that she left her shoes behind. She crossed the distance to Khakkes in a flash of blue, a biotic charge that ended by driving her fist into his face.

And through it.

Sarah pulled her fist back from where she's buried it into Khakkes' head. The Batarian dropped to the ground, dead from the moment she'd made contact. The Batarians holding her father rushed forward, but she blew them back with a shockwave, her anger making it deadly at such close quarters.

Bullets started peppering her back, energy dissipated by passage through her barrier. She was a blaze of blue, biotics bright as a star and twice as volatile. She picked up the dead Batarian's shotgun and returned fire. The three remaining Batarians were impossible to miss at this range, and she didn't. The shotgun blew them apart, even as she suffered the most minor of injuries from their return fire.

The final Batarian down, she staggered, dropping the shotgun. The light of her biotics snuffed out like a candle as she fell to her knees next to her father. The sight of his wounds banished any thought of her unexpected biotic outburst. His clothing was soaked with blood. She couldn't find a pulse in the shredded remains of his neck. No heartbeat, but there was still life in his eyes. Life she tried to hold, succor, even as it faded. "I'm sorry Dad," she whispered. She didn't know how long she held him before she pulled back her blood-soaked hands.

She forced herself to her feet, lurching forward as she rose, starting towards the house. She passed John's body without looking down, not wanting to see his face, to see the pain of his death displayed there.

The steps were difficult. Sarah was shaking with effort by the time she made it up to the deck. She had to hold herself against the doorjamb to even look inside. Later, when she tried to remember what she saw, she was unable. Her mind had refused to store what her mother looked like after five shotgun blasts at close range. She doubled over, vomiting violently. The sights of her mother, father, even the gore on her hand finally too much for her. The heaving continued long after there was nothing left, even as the effort pulled painfully at the wound in her abdomen.

She fought for clarity against her exhaustion. She needed help. First aid. There was medi-gel in the house, but she couldn't bring herself to go in. Falling down the stairs from the deck convinced her that she would never reach a neighbor. They were too far. She was too weak, too slow. She cried out as she struggled to her feet, blood running through her fingers, trailing down her leg.

The barn? Was there a first aid kit in the barn? She couldn't remember.

She started in that direction, her vision fading in and out until she ran into she Batarian's shuttle. She'd been heading the wrong way.

She collapsed through the open hatch, coming to rest on her back with her legs hanging out into the air. There was a first aid kit mounted just inside the doorway, out of reach. She brought up one leg, and kicked it off its mount, bringing it clattering to the deck beside her. She reached in and pulled out a tube of medi-gel. She squeezed a copious amount on her abdomen, even going to far as to squeeze some into the hole left by Khakkes' blade. She covered as many bullet wounds as she could with what was left. She did the best she could, going by touch. When the medi-gel applicator was exhausted she reached into the first-aid kit to see if there was more and instead was rewarded with a protein bar. She forced herself to take a few bites before the effort became to much for her, and it fell to the deck alongside the medi-gel tube.

Sarah's eyes were closed. She could feel the breeze across her legs. The warmth of the sun caressed her feet. It was tempting to just let go, to let sleep claim her.

* * *

A/N: Assumptions here include:

FemShep/Liara  
Post ME1 ending - after the Battle of the Citadel, before beginning of ME2

Shepard is:  
Colonist / Vanguard / War Hero

As always, feedback is welcome and desired.


	17. Aftereffects

Liara began slowly withdrawing herself from Shepard. She's pushed Shepard into this, and acknowledged that she might have pushed too hard. Her goal had been healing, not pain, but the memory she'd demanded that Shepard reveal had been horrifying. The commander's possible response firmly in mind, she brought the meld to a close as gently as possible. She had no desire to add any additional stress atop the trauma she'd seen in the commander's memories.

A trauma she'd shared as if she had experienced the event herself. She'd felt Sarah's pain, her anguish, her fear. Stronger even than those emotions had been one of her own. Anger. Her anger at the Batarian who had tortured a child, a man who had taken pleasure at destroying a family. It was the anger that she'd focused on, worked to draw to the forefront of her mind. Only that anger had allowed her not to be overcome by the horror she'd felt at experiencing Shepard's ordeal. If not for the intensity of her fury, the power of it, she might have found herself unable to maintain the meld. The force of her anger had protected her from the urge to flee the commander's mind, their connection washed away in an outpouring of tears and heartbreak.

But now the need for such anger had passed. She encouraged it to dissipate by taking a series of slow calming breaths to center herself, working to bring herself back to the moment.

Her observations of the farm clashed with what she'd seen in the meld. Through Shepard's memory Liara recognized their location as the site where Sarah and Bobby had been when the Batarians arrived. Her senses had instantly cataloged the differences between that time and now. It was currently later in the year than the attack had occurred. The air was drier, but the vegetation gave the impression of a wetter summer than the one from Shepard's past. The grasses were now green and lush, their scent filling the air. The heat of the day had yet to arrive, but Liara suspected it would not reach the temperatures that the commander experienced that fateful afternoon.

The farm had changed as well. The grasses at their backs extended a mere few tens of meters before making way for planted crops. Shepard's father had not cultivated nearly so far in this direction. The house they left behind this morning had been yellow with blue trim, while in Sarah's memories it had been white and green. The clear space in front of the house was angled differently, the cropland encroaching in that direction as well. The empty border around the house was far smaller now, mostly covered by lawn. The indication was of less need to accommodate the vehicles that would accompany a large number of regular visitors.

The memories had been shockingly vivid, they practically burned into the maiden's brain. Liara now completely understood the commander's reluctance to face them.

Another blink and her vision returned. She found herself on her knees facing Sarah, the Human looking back at her in return. The commander's expression was one of quiet contemplation and not at all what Liara expected. None of the remembered violence they had just experienced was visible in the Human's eyes. She had noticed little of the commander's emotional state during the meld, distracted as she had been by the savage content of the memory. Liara feared for Shepard's mental state, given the unnerving calm she observed in the human. She would not have been surprised to find Shepard in the throes of anger or wracked by ugly sobs instead of this detached demeanor. Anything would have been possible given how the Human had been behaving over the last several days.

As usual, her commander surprised her. Typically Shepard. Sarah pulled Liara to her, holding her tightly. After a moment she released the maiden and kissed her gently on the forehead. The spectre then rose and walked to the edge of the gorge in silence, leaving a bewildered Liara kneeling in the dirt.

Liara allowed the spectre some moments of privacy while trying to collect her own thoughts. The commander obviously had a great deal to process, as did Liara herself. For now her review of those memories, and what they meant would wait. Her focus was entirely on Shepard. Shepard, who still had not displayed the emotional reaction that Liara expected. The emotional reaction that she herself had struggled to contain.

Time was not a catalyst in this case, however. The commander's calm never wavered, she never lost her poise. Eventually Liara rose to her feet, brushing away the rich soil of Mindoir as she did so. She waited a moment for her movement to be acknowledged, and then carefully moved to join the commander. She was hesitant, still expecting an outburst that as yet had failed to materialize.

When she reached Shepard however, she found the commander to be as calm and collected as she had appeared immediately after the meld. Nevertheless, as she placed her hand on the Human's shoulder, her first words were a tentative, "Shepard. Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," Shepard replied, her eyes on the horizon, the sun on her face.

Liara closed her own eyes in response. While Shepard's answer was not unexpected, the ease with which she voiced it was surprising to the maiden.

The commander continued; "And before you ask again, yes, I'm sure." She reached out and tenderly drew Liara to her side. "Thank you. I've never shared what happened with anyone before." She paused before continuing. "Maybe I should have."

Liara was still dubious, and after a moment, decided to press. "Not even with Alliance therapists? I had no idea Shepard. The details of the attack seemed to be common knowledge among your superiors." She again paused for a reaction before continuing. "How did they know?" Liara was confused as there had obviously been no other surviving witnesses.

"The doorbell camera. Dad was using the comm to talk to the pirates. We were right in front of the house, it caught the whole thing."

The Asari was chilled at the thought of what she'd done. "I am sorry Shepard. Had I known I would not have pushed so hard. Honestly, even not knowing that I did not expect you to take reliving the event well."

Shepard was dismissive. "I made it through once already." Before Liara had a chance to speak again, she continued, "It was a long time ago. It was all over pretty fast. You saw that yourself. The next thing I remember was waking up four days later on the Cairo. My only reminders of the fight were a few scars," she self-consciously rubbed the line through her left eyebrow.

"And it was the most traumatic experience of your life. Not one that you should just shrug off," Liara urged. "The scars on your body are not the only ones you carry. Please Shepard. Talk to me." _'I depend on you for so much, you can depend on me in this.'_

Shepard's gaze dropped to the ground, the Human clearly uneasy. "Look, I'm not shrugging it off. I'm not. Really." She turned to face Liara. "Again, thank you. I would never have done this if you hadn't forced me. I always believed coming home, looking back at that time, had nothing for me. I've focused on the negatives of the Batarian attack for years. Wallowed in my anger about losing my family, my home. Resented the Alliance for taking away my choices. There were positives that I'd forgotten."

Liara was unable to identify a positive in the entire ordeal, but she was willing to have any discussion that could be cathartic for the commander. "I am curious Shepard, unless you find it too uncomfortable..." she let the question trail off.

"What positives?"

The Asari only nodded. How could she ask?

Shepard drew a deep breath. "I'd forgotten, well, how brave my dad was. He wasn't a soldier, an explorer. He was an engineer by education, a farmer by choice. He loved his guns, but I don't think he'd ever shot at anything but a target. Despite all that, he held it together. He didn't panic when the Batarians arrived. He made a plan and he executed it. He was amazing. He never gave up, even when everything fell apart. He knew what would happen, he knew what it would cost him, but his last words were defiant, shouted into Khakkes' face." The Human shook her head at the memory even as she allowed herself a malicious smile, almost as if imagining that's what she herself would have done. "Ok, maybe he was a bit sarcastic during the whole thing, but that might just have been to distract himself from being afraid."

They stood in silence for a moment before Shepard continued. "I think one of the reasons that I blamed myself for so long, is that I thought it must have been my fault that Dad's plan fell apart. If I hadn't come, if the Batarians hadn't found me, what might have happened? Could he have kept the Batarians at bay long enough for the Alliance to arrive? Did my arrival force the issue? Would the pirates have ever made it into the house if John hadn't tried to rescue me?"

Shepard shook her head, answering her own question. "No matter how much I wanted it to be, how much I tried to blame myself, that part wasn't my fault. The first Alliance ships didn't arrive until the next morning. Khakkes would have sent for reinforcements well before then. Someone among the pirates had the ordinance to get through the front door without destroying the house. It was just dumb luck that the Batarians who came to the valley only had small arms."

"So his plan would not have worked."

"Not in the long term, no, but I'd argue that it did work in terms of achieving his goal. He saved the valley. His was the only distress beacon not silenced, so he probably saved the colony too." Shepard pointed back towards the farm. "The pirates would have eventually come here in force, and easily overcome any resistance my father could have put up. The Batarians were distracted with capturing colonists to sell as slaves, and with putting down the resistance in the cities. Without Khakkes to call for help, the valley slipped through the cracks."

"And so the valley was saved. _You_ were saved," concluded Liara.

"Pretty ironic." Shepard commented.

"Ironic?" Liara head was spinning with Shepard's combination of explanation and rationalization. She failed to see the irony.

"That I was the only one to survive." When Shepard saw Liara's lack of understanding, she continued. "My dad sent out a lockdown. No one had to obey it, but he was well respected by the other families. He knew that most, if not all of the settlers in the valley, would have acted first and asked for clarification later." She paused for a moment. "With one exception."

"You," Liara responded in sudden realization.

"Me," Shepard nodded. "I would definitely have come home. No question. It didn't occur to me at the time, but Dad had to know the lockdown would call me to the farm, call me to the Batarians."

"Ensuring your capture."

"Well, maybe Dad was hoping I'd get lucky, or that I'd go home with Bobby." Shepard turned her attention away from the maiden and back towards the gorge. "But yeah, he knew. Knew I'd get caught, knew he'd be sacrificing me."

Now Liara was doubly concerned. First, at Shepard's emotional detachment, and now at that detachment continuing in the face of the revelation that she believed her father had summoned her to her death. "Perhaps he didn't realize..."

Shepard placed her hand over Liara's, still resting on her shoulder. "No, he knew." Sensing Liara's horror, she made an attempt to reassure. "God, it must have been hard for him. I can't even imagine..." she trailed off as she turned back to Liara. "That is, I couldn't imagine what it would take to make that call. But he did it. It probably took everything he had, but he did it."

Liara couldn't bring herself to respond, and something about her look of dismay triggered Shepard to defend her father. "It isn't like he had any choice. With the uplink down all he had was the beacon. He couldn't send me a message without calling attention to me. He might have hoped that the Batarians would lose interest when they couldn't bluff him out, but that's not how they operate. _He did the right thing Liara_. Once I was home, once the Batarians discovered me, what could he do? Obey them? They'd have killed him for daring to defy them in the first place, and I'd be a slave somewhere, like Talitha. Without a way to kill the Batarians, he didn't have any other options. He didn't know how long it would take for the Alliance to arrive, All he could do was bide his time and hope for the best. If anything my arrival likely extended the waiting game."

The memories of Shepard's torture were still fresh in Liara's mind. "They were going to kill you Shepard."

The commander nodded. "I know that."

"Then how can the memory of that not bother you?" Liara shouted, understanding that she wasn't helping any longer, if indeed she ever had been. She found herself outraged by the memories that Shepard casually disregarded.

Shepard allowed an easy shrug to roll off her shoulders, one that did nothing but further enrage the Asari. "It was... comforting. To see it again without the fear. I know my dad loved me. I know he was out of options, and that he was doing the best he could. I know that the last thing Dad saw was that I was alive, and that I was safe." She reconsidered, "Well, as safe as I could be. He died knowing that his sacrifices weren't in vain. I'm proud of him."

"I do not understand how calm you can be by the idea that your father was willing to sacrifice your life."

Sarah turned to Liara, taking her hands. "And Mom's, and John's, and his own. He made the farm a target as soon as he activated the beacon." She smiled softly, "That didn't keep him from doing it."

Liara's response was tentative. "You forgive him because he did it to save others?"

Finally, an emotional response from Shepard. Even as the smile widened across her face, a tear rolled down her cheek. She left it there, unashamed. "There was nothing to forgive. It was the last lesson my father taught me, and I never realized it until now." She moved her hand to Liara's cheek, gently stroking with her thumb. "He loved me, he loved my mom, he loved John. There's no question in my mind about the strength of his love for us." She took a deep breath. "But it didn't keep him from doing what was right. He could have made a break for the hills. He could have left the beacon inactive. He could have done what he could to keep himself alive, to save his own skin. But he didn't. He took responsibility for the lives of those around him, and he worked to save those lives, no matter the cost to him, to his family." She squared her shoulders. "He was afraid, but he didn't let fear control him."

Liara stepped closer to Shepard, looking deeply into her glistening eyes, "That sounds very much like someone else I know."

"I was thinking the same thing. The way you held it together on Noveria?" Shepard shook her head. "I don't know if I could have done that. At least I didn't."

Now Liara was confused. Shepard was nothing if not decisive. "You have never wavered in the face of a command decision Shepard." Liara deliberately selected "command" over "difficult", as this revelation was seemingly somehow tied to her recently voiced resentment towards the Alliance.

"Of course not. It was always easy for me," she offered a melancholy expression. "I was invincible. What could anyone do to me? How could they hurt me? What could they take away? I never had anything to lose." Shepard's voice cracked as it also started demonstrating the depth of her emotion. "My life? My life hadn't been mine since that day."

Liara held back from embracing the commander, even as the urge to hold her tightly was almost overwhelming. She did allow herself the smallest of smiles. "And now?"

"And now? Now I have the world to lose." Her happiness showed in her voice. "I'm thrilled, I'm terrified, I'm confused. I don't know what I'm feeling." Her tone lowered. "Honestly, I thought I was rescuing you when we found you on Therum, but I think it was you that were rescuing me."

Liara's smile widened even as it softened. "We all need rescuing sometime, Shepard. I am glad that I can be the one with you in this."

"I really didn't want to show you what happened, but now that I have? To think that I might really be able to put this behind me? I never imagined that I could feel like I do right now. It's amazing."

"I am glad that you feel better Shepard, but a meld is not a cure for the trauma of your past. At best, it can help you identify areas where such events have left you wounded and vulnerable. If you do not continue to work on this, you will fall back into old patterns of behavior, of thinking."

Sarah's exuberance was not to be diminished. "Let's agree to disagree for now, OK? I promise we can talk more about it later, but I think we've covered enough ground for today." Shepard gave Liara a look that was affectionate, but her eyes said that she was firm in her decision. "I'm sure I have, at any rate. Let's go back to the house and get settled in. Then I can go over what I want to get done while we're here. We probably won't get to any of it this afternoon. Most of it will be in DuBois, and after all this I'm in the mood for an afternoon in. I don't feel like going back into town." Her eyes lit up. "Maybe Eliata can tell me where she considered the valley to be below 'state of the art'. I bet my security systems are better than she thinks." There was a competitive gleam in the commander's eye.

Liara relented with another smile. "All right, Shepard." There was no reason to press. Liara was well aware of the extent of the spectre's stubbornness. Pushing too hard would just cause Shepard to dig in her heels, and that might cost her some of the progress made so far. "But let me repeat that I want to talk more about this."

"I need some time to process, OK? Give me a few days. I'm not going anywhere."

Liara nodded. "All right Shepard."

"Great!" Shepard spun around as she turned towards an unremarkable looking clump of trees. Terran oak, with a meter tall bevy of Mindoiri brush built up at the base. "Teseka!" Shepard waved her hand in a circular motion over her head. "Saddle up!" She turned back to Liara with a look that said she was far too pleased with herself.

Liara just shook her head. "Really, Shepard. She is not going to know what that means."

"You're not even impressed that I knew she was there?"

Now the maiden went so far as to roll her eyes. "I might have been at one time Shepard, but now I expect more from you," the Asari gave the commander a wink.

Shepard called out again. "Teseka, we're heading back to the house. Last one there doesn't get any pie." She returned her attention to Liara. "Better?" she asked.

"Not even a little, but I have learned that I must take what I can get." Liara was more than willing to accept the teasing that came along with one of Shepard's playful moods.

The smile she received in turn warmed her through, even as Shepard took her hand. "Shall we? You have to be getting tired. it must be close to midnight ship's time."

"Asari do not need as much sleep as Humans, Shepard."

"A fact for which I am eternally grateful," Shepard wiggled her eyebrows, causing Liara to sigh in exasperation. "Let's go."

o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o

Left without direction, Eliata and the other remaining commandos had established a perimeter, and then waited for additional instructions. They had made no effort to settle in, the nature of the commander's outburst leaving them unsure if they would even be remaining at the farm. When Shepard and Liara returned, all the luggage was neatly piled just inside the front door, and the team was keeping themselves busy by testing the limits of Shepard's security system. Teseka arrived a discrete few minutes later, an ineffective attempt at preserving the illusion of the couple's privacy.

Shepard strode through the front doorway effortlessly and without hesitation, as if it had never been a problem. She immediately chastised the commandos. "OK everyone. I get that you're supposed to be a protection detail, but you're also guests. Each of you take a few minutes and go pick out a bedroom. There's ten of them in the damn house, so there's plenty to go around." There was excitement in her voice as if a day at home were some kind of adventure. None of the Asari were so disrespectful as to look to Liara for permission, but no one moved until the commander started tapping her foot. "Come on people, this is supposed to be R&R. I'm not going to relax until some of you do too." She waited until she started seeing motion from the various Asari before she grabbed both her own and Liara's luggage and headed towards the stairs.

Liara stopped her, fingers at the Human's elbow. "Are there rooms they should leave alone Shepard? Anything you prefer left undisturbed?"

Shepard took a breath before replying, but her response was sure and strong. "Nah. My room will be the only one that looks like it might be occupied. I donated almost everything that didn't have sentimental value when I had the house remodeled." Liara could only imagine the condition the home had been in after the firefight she'd seen in Shepard's mind. Even assuming the upstairs had gone undamaged, Shepard at the very least had probably been required to replace nearly everything on the lower floor.

"That's why everything looks so generic," Shepard continued. "I ordered the furniture off the extranet. As for the painting and repairs, I chose everything over a vid call." She looked around, considering. "I didn't think the walls were going to be this dark." She shrugged her shoulders and started up the stairs with Liara following close behind.

o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o

Shepard had shown Liara to her bedroom, but hadn't lingered.

Shepard had passed through the room as a whirlwind. Pointing out the bathroom and wardrobe even as she stored her own clothes and toiletries. The Asari couldn't help but smile that Shepard had never even asked Liara if she had expected to share a bedroom. Despite the number of rooms available, the Human made no attempt at any appearance that the maiden would have her own space. The fact that they had shared a cabin aboard ship might have contributed to that expectation, but Shepard would always have her own suite at the estate in Armali, even if she were to never use it again.

Liara had been pleased to find that although Shepard's bedroom had been designated for a child, it was not lacking in amenities. The bed was of the size Humans referred to as 'queen'. The bathroom was an en suite, with more modern fixtures than she expected from a home in a remote Human colony. True, the home was somewhat over engineered, so perhaps she should upgrade her expectations to match.

Once Shepard departed, Liara took stock of the environment. Oddly enough, the bedroom reminded Liara of her own back at the estate, even though it had almost none of the particulars in common. This room was much smaller for instance, and not nearly as lavish. However, it did give the maiden a similar feeling of the occupant being someone who was not quite an adult.

The Asari walked along the bed, trailing her fingers across the comforter, feeling the softness there. Again, not nearly as silky as she might expect back home, but passable. The bed was made, although obviously not by Shepard. The woman had an obsession with what she called 'hospital corners'. Liara suspected that the linens had been arranged for by the same unknown persons who had been tasked with stocking the home with consumables. Otherwise she would have been drawing her fingers through 13 years of dust.

With the the bed passing a cursory inspection, she turned her attention to the rest of the room. Similar to the unassuming nature of the bed, the rest of the furniture was functional, but not fancy. The wardrobe was large but not ornate. The desk was well used, obvious wear marks in the finish from diligent elbows and wrists. The room also contained unexpected additions. There was an overlarge vid screen positioned to be watched by any occupant of the bed. There was an an easel. Most intriguingly, there were bookcases which contained scores of loose leaf tablets in addition to the various personal and decorative items. However ardently Sarah had pursued her creative hobbies, the desk and tablets told the Asari that Sarah had not restricted herself to the easel. The three large windows all had a northern exposure, filling the space with natural light. She made a mental note to check some of the other bedrooms to see if such windows were prevalent in the home, or an accommodation made for a young artist.

What interested Liara the most was the fact that the room seemed to be unchanged from the time Shepard had lived here as a child. Liara was tempted to investigate the contents of the tablets, the stacks of OSDs. The maiden reluctantly decided it would be pushing the limits of privacy, especially given how much she had intruded upon Shepard so far this day.

Liara had intended to shower before changing, and had told Shepard so before the commander left her to her own devices. Shepard hadn't shared her opinion, apparently feeling no need to change for an afternoon at the farmhouse. Her button-up top and jeans were not dissimilar to her usual casual wear, and she was still wearing them when she left to return to the lower floor. Liara on the other hand, was in the mood for something soft and comfortable as opposed to the jumpsuit she'd worn since leaving the ship.

The maiden hurried through a quick but thorough washing. Her expectations reset by the Petite'aile, she felt no need to bask in the delicious pressure of Shepard's shower. The Normandy's weak and tepid offering was no doubt designed to discourage lingering, but not a shipboard day went by when Liara didn't wish for better. She didn't need much in the way of space or amenities, but she did love the feeling of water blasting at her skin, even if they weren't the scented waters of home.

Dressing in a knit top and cotton pants, it didn't take long before Liara was ready to join the others. A quick glance around the room again tempted the archaeologist in her, the revealer of secrets, but she put those thoughts aside.

For a moment.

 _'I'll only look at one,'_ she thought.

The first tablet she selected had contained black and white sketches. Simple in subject, but complex in technique. The maiden flipped through a series of flowers, fruits, and plants. The next tablets contained similar settings, with the addition of occasional household or farm items. Chairs and rakes, drawn from different perspectives made occasional appearances between apples and lilies.

The changes in style and proficiency were so gradual that Liara started skipping ahead, slowing down when the first landscapes appeared. There were hundreds of drawings of the gorge where Liara had shared Shepard's memories. These were rich in color, and drawn over time. Distinct seasons, different times of day, various weather, all were represented.

Eventually Shepard had moved beyond those images drawn from life. The first drawing of the black granite mountains of Palaven was a jarring transition. It was followed by the jungles of Sur'Kesh. There were seashores that Liara initially mistook for Thessia, but then decided must be from Earth due to the color of the sky. The Terran's atmosphere didn't provide the same touch of purple as she was used to seeing Parnitha shine through. it took several minutes of skimming before she found her first image of the Asari homeworld. A cityscape, obviously Serrice, leapt from the page. The sky awash in a sea of red, the sunset tinting the buildings the color of fire.

Liara's fingers slowed again as the drawings and sketches became more varied. She stopped when she recognized a landscape. She saw nothing of Armali, but both Serrice and Dassus was often represented. The maiden knew Serrice well, and was amazed at how well Sarah had not only captured the look of the city, but also the spirit. She resolved to take the Human there once they arrived on Thessia.

She hadn't made it a third of the way through the tablets when she became aware of the passage of time. The light had changed through the windows, and there were pleasant smells emanating from outside the room. The maiden's experience with Human desserts allowed her to identify at least one of them as chocolate.

Liara was torn. The art from her love's childhood was a guilty pleasure, one she was loathe to tear herself away from. Sarah hadn't come looking for her, and she could hear that there was conversation going on downstairs. The commander was likely happily engrossed in discussing defenses with the commandos. In the end the voice she listened to was the one that told her to go check on Shepard.

o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o

Shepard's voice was the first she could discern as she returned to the lower level. It carried to the maiden even before she reached the bottom of the staircase.

"No, you have to keep it even. Not too thin, not too thick. Go ahead and roll it up and try again."

Liara couldn't imaging what Shepard was talking about when she rounded the kitchen and was treated to one of the more amusing sights in her young life. Anedra had a flour covered apron on over her commando leathers. The maiden's expression was focused as Shepard tried to teach her the finer points of rolling pastry dough.

This was unexpected.

* * *

A/N: Assumptions here include:

FemShep/Liara  
Post ME1 ending - after the Battle of the Citadel, before beginning of ME2

Shepard is:  
Colonist / Vanguard / War Hero

I believe I've responded to everyone who's reviewed or PM'd over the last few chapters. Thank all of you for reading. Ch16 did bring out quite a bit of discussion as was expected. Thanks for sticking through it - it was a fairly painful read compared to the tone of the rest of the series.

Sorry about the delay on this chapter - I think this might have been my longest time gap. I'd blame the holidays, but honestly it's because while I have some scenes for Thessia complete, I didn't have anything at all written for Mindoir after the Batarian attack. It looks like we have at least one more full chapter to go on Mindoir after this one - I know it's at least a full chapter as I cut out about 1500 words of baking in 17 and moved it to 18.

As always, feedback is welcome and desired.


	18. Domestic

Shepard walked down the hall, heading for the stairs.

The day had been a confusing one for her, and not even half over. She'd never intended to return to Mindoir. Honestly, she wouldn't have if Liara hadn't insisted. Even after giving into the persistent Asari's wishes, she'd intended to make it clear that this trip had been for _Liara_ , and not for her.

That plan had worked for a short while. She's been polite, attentive. She'd made a point not to let her disinterest show. She still hadn't wanted to be here. Other than showing Liara the farm and updating her will, she expected nothing else from what she anticipated to be a brief stay on the planet.

But now?

Thessia still felt like home to her, but unexpectedly Mindoir didn't have the feeling of alienation that she'd come to associate with the planet of her childhood. Being here made her feel in a way that she hadn't for years, if ever. Sarah had spent her whole adult life keeping herself closed off from others, but now she was overcome with the need to share. She realized that the majority of that was a desire to show off Liara, to introduce her to her family. The little things that she how would never have the chance to do, that she had never missed, were now terribly important.

She shook her head at what her mother would have thought, were she still alive. How that conversation might have gone. "Hey Mom, there's someone I want to bring home for you to meet. No, _her_ name is Liara. No, you don't know her parents. Because she's not from around here, she's Asari. Yes, she'd be staying for dinner. Yes she can eat Human food, you're thinking about Turians. Well, I know she likes ice cream. Actually you'll need to make more than that, she'll be bringing an honor guard…"

Dad would have found the whole thing hysterical, and would have then proceeded to embarrass her mercilessly, telling Liara stories from Sarah's childhood. She smiled at the thought of Liara and her father being as thick as thieves, conspiring to embarrass her. "Yes," Liara would say, entering what the commander had come to think of as 'lecture mode', "I also have noticed Sarah's propensity to deflect conversations away from areas where she feels uncomfortable." Her father would just nod sagely. "Have you seen how she just can't sit still when she's nervous?" he would ask. "Indeed I have," Liara would respond. "I originally found it to be exceptionally difficult to engage her in conversations where she would reveal anything about herself." Then they would laugh while Sarah tried to defend herself from their allegations.

And John? John would have been quietly accepting, as was his way. His eyes were never on the stars. Liara would have been out of the realm of his experience, his expectation, but he would have welcomed anyone that loved his sister.

Although they would never know Liara, she was heartened by the fact that Liara would know them. The Asari would be able to see them in her memories, know how she felt about them. She vowed that her introduction to the farm would also serve as an view into the lives of the family that had built it, had lived here. She wanted to share it all; her fathers design, her brother's love of the soil, her mother's cooking in between freelance jobs, as a doctorate in sociology was not highly in demand in the Traverse.

Her paces came more slowly now, as for the first time she allowed herself to truly realize what she'd lost. What Liara had lost as well. The opportunity to meet and to be welcomed into her family. The opportunity for Liara to introduce her in return to (what Shepard was convinced would have been) an extremely judgmental mother in Benezia. A smile crossed her lips. At worst the matriarch would have only had to put up with an annoying daughter in law for a century or so. Who knows? She might have been able to win her over in the end. It might have proven an interesting century.

What to do instead, she wondered? Sarah was embarrassed to admit to herself that Liara already knew everyone she was close enough to that their relationship would matter. Introducing her to Anderson or Karin would be more than redundant at this point, and they were the closest thing to parents that she had. Still, at this point she'd known them both longer than anyone else in her life. Their concern for and about her was something that she didn't question. She nodded to herself. She'd make it a point for them to take Anderson to dinner when they made it back to the Citadel. Her medical officer already had a close friendship with Liara, but it was important to Sarah that the captain (no, councilor she mentally corrected) get to know Liara on a personal level as well. She didn't want him to just see her as a member of her crew, as a source of intelligence and resources.

She filed that decision for the moment. The meld with Liara had unearthed other things she knew she needed to address, but not now. Not today. She set aside the rest of her messy self examination for later. Liara wouldn't let her ignore it for long anyway. For now, she had other things to do.

For the first time in thirteen years she had guests in her home. Strike that, for the first time in her adult life she had guests in her home. The thought suddenly saddened her. What other firsts had she missed? Yet another thought to be brushed aside. She had guests, and she wasn't properly prepared for them. Time to rectify that.

She didn't really have a specific plan for the afternoon, spending time with Liara and away from the responsibilities of command were the only things on Sarah's agenda. The most important objective was that Liara feel as welcome in her home as she herself had been made to feel at the T'Soni estate. As welcome in _their_ home she reminded herself. Liara had offered so much to her, so much of herself, while they were on Thessia. Sarah couldn't help but try to match the Asari's earnestness, even if she couldn't come close to her in resources. This was no small task, but Shepard was confidant in her abilities.

Liara would be fast to dress, she was sure. If nothing else, months on the Normandy had taught the maiden how to quickly prepare for action. Despite that fact, Shepard wasn't worried. The commander's ace in the hole had been her own childhood bedroom. She knew the young scientist would be unable to resist the urge to do a little snooping. Probably more than a little. Liara's natural curiosity was a force that knew no bounds. Shepard had found it endearing ever since she'd discovered that the maiden had researched her long before they'd embarked on a relationship. Considering that Shepard had never removed any of her personal items from her bedroom, Liara might very well lose herself in the vestiges of her teenage life. The commander smiled at the thought. Sarah thought that she had a better than even chance of having to go retrieve the young scientist once everything was ready.

She was still hampered by the fact that she hadn't yet decided what that 'everything' was going to include. Food? Activities? Maybe she could take her for a walk through the orchards. If Liara wasn't interested in that then maybe they could just settle for an afternoon in. They certainly didn't get those very often.

Tea would be part of the day, she was sure. The spectre had been certain to order plenty, of both Human and Asari blends. Liara drank tea like Wrex went through ryncol. As far as food went, what else could she make for Liara while there were here? She mentally started running through options. Nothing she'd made before she decided, at least not this first day on Mindoir. Perhaps tonight could be the salmon? That would be a bit of an event, so just snacking through the afternoon?

Or she could bake. That should be popular. Liara loved sweets. Lemon squares? Pastries? Cookies? She hadn't made any of those for Liara yet. She stopped short, her heart lurching in dismay. She suddenly realized that Eliata's commandos might not be as agreeable as Liara when it came to trying Human foods. Shepard wished she'd thought about that on the trip out. The house was overstocked, but she hadn't thought to order any Asari foodstuffs other than the tea. She cursed herself at the oversight, while at the same time trying to come with a plan to overcome her misstep. The ship obviously had provisions, but it would be a bit of a production to get any of them to the farm in time for dinner. She could probably get some kaffe though. There had to be some on Mindoir. The planet was a bit of a backwater, but also not cut off from galactic civilization. Surely enough Humans had developed a taste for it by now that there would be some available. The same went for ke'ha and uloth. She was a rare biotic who had maintained her eezo levels almost entirely with supplements as opposed to with food grown in eezo rich environments. There had to be enough biotics on Mindoir by now to support the stocking of at least some Asari foods.

She was partially through a mental list of items she could try to get delivered when she finally reached the bottom of the stairs. Her journey to the kitchen interrupted when she realized she wasn't alone. So much for not taking the time to change. Everyone but Liara had still beaten her to the ground floor.

She diverted into the living room, coming to a halt as she found herself face to face with Eliata's team. The Asari commandos stood as if awaiting inspection, their expressions a study of patient expectation.

Sarah gave it nearly thirty seconds before the stretching silence prompted her to speak.

"Yes?"

Eliata stepped forward, holding a pad in her outstretched hand. "I have prepared a duty schedule, Peeress. I hoped that you would review and provide input."

The spectre gingerly accepted the pad, quickly glancing over the contents. As she would expect from the matron, it was efficient and concise. It assumed that Eliata's detail would concern themselves with nothing but her and Liara's care and safety throughout the entirety of their stay on Mindoir. It was even written in Standard, requiring no translation on her part. _'Have to make accommodation for the simple Human,'_ she thought.

Something must have shown on her face, because the Asari's next words were troubled. "Is something wrong Peeress?" She reached to take the pad back.

Sarah held it just out of reach. "No, the duty roster looks great Eliata, I was just hoping I'd see something a little more fun."

"Fun, peeress?" This time the tone was one of confusion.

"I was expecting a watch schedule at most Eliata. I know it's your job to take care of Liara," Shepard began.

"Your safety is just as important, Peeress," Eliata interjected.

"Ok, fine. OUR safety is your job." Shepard waited for more input. When none came, she continued. "But this isn't supposed to be a mission, we're at _home_." She waved Eliata to silence when the matron appeared about to speak. "There should be time for more than just work. I know you're more than an honor guard, but we're also in a pretty sparsely populated area, surrounded by a not insignificant defense system."

"Neither of which would protect you from a truly committed enemy," Eliata countered.

Sarah ignored the response as she returned her gaze to the pad. Admittedly she hadn't tried to defend against an orbital strike. She'd hold out pretty well against a pirate assault though. She took a breath before continuing. "It's not even all defense. You've included a list of chores."

"The residence has no staff, Peeress." Eliata met the spectre's glare with a placid look. "Lady Liara's needs must be attended to."

 _'Wow, you'd really be unhappy if you knew that she does her own laundry on the Normandy.'_ She thought briefly. "I wasn't expecting that we'd need anyone specifically to cook and clean."

"But the residence has no staff," Eliata reiterated.

Shepard put the pad down on the living room table, out of reach of the commando. "Eliata, we're all here together. I consider it my place to protect Liara just as much as you do, and I'd like to think she feels the same way about me."

"Peeress?" Confusion showed plainly on Eliata's face.

"I don't think you and your team need to be running around making housework a priority. Keeping Liara safe is important, yes. The rest of this? Not so much."

"Peeress, your expectation is that the Head of House T'Soni prepare her own meals?" Eliata seemed incredulous.

"I expect her to pick up her own towels too," she said with a smile which was lost on the commando. She could tell that Eliata was unconvinced. It was probably time to take a different path. "Look, why does someone like Liara need a staff to take care of her needs?"

Eliata's answer was instantaneous. "Because of her station, Peeress."

"No," corrected Shepard. "To save her time."

"Peeress?"

"The reason a person hires someone to perform a service is either because a specialist can perform the task better than they can, or because the value of their time is greater than the cost of a person to perform the given work."

"That is obvious Peeress, but Liara is the Head of a Great House. Her time is extremely valuable."

"Yes it is, but not today."

"I do not understand."

Shepard indicated the maiden she left upstairs with a jerk of her head. "What would Liara be freed to do, today, if she didn't have to wash her own dishes? Probably nothing. She's sitting upstairs right now going though the remains of my childhood. She has nothing else demanding her attention at the moment, which is a good thing because she needs the break. This house belongs to the family. Our family. We're not here to wait on each other. We're not expecting any visitors. We're here to relax before we head back to Thessia and the real work begins. Who cares if it gets a little messy?"

When Eliata remained silent, Shepard continued. "In other words, if I have to be on vacation, you have to be on vacation."

"Peeress, the work still must be completed."

"And it will be, by all of us." Shepard could tell that she wasn't making any progress. "How about this, if Liara has an issue with everyone just ad hoc pitching in, I'll hire a service for the time we're here. Is that agreeable?"

The Asari still appeared hesitant, but in the end she nodded. "Of course, Peeress. Whatever you think best."

"Eliata, that's the point. The is a vacation! Shore leave!" Shepard shook her head as her attention returned to the pad on the table. If the truly wanted them to take it easy, Eliata would probably need to be ordered not to wait on Liara hand and foot. That was an order she could give, but also one she didn't want to. She realized then that she wasn't going to convince the matron. She was fighting both cultural and familial norms. She realized that, to her detriment, she hadn't really formed a bond with any of the T'Soni staff outside of Denai. She had no way to reach Eliata, to convince her. She remembered when Liara had convinced her to accept Denai's oath, allowing the matron to become her acolyte. She'd seen serving Shepard as a privilege, not a trial. Eliata appeared to have the same mindset.

 _'I'm wrong about this one, time to admit it.'_ She turned her attention back to the commando. "Eliata, I apologize. You lead the commandos, and it's your job to decide their duties and priorities. I should let you do that. If what you see as the day goes on causes you to change your orders, great. If not, I accept that but still hope that you and your team find some way to enjoy your time here."

Eliata nodded in gratitude, accepting the commander's apology. "Thank you Peeress. Does the roster meet with your approval?"

"It's fine, thank you for preparing it. I don't expect there will be much to do anyway. I had the house cleaned when I had it stocked, and the farm itself is maintained as part of the agreement that allows the land to be cultivated. Unless we're here for more than a few days, we should easily stay ahead of anything burdensome."

Eliata nodded her head in acquiescence.

"So!" Shepard clapped her hands together in enthusiasm designed to break the moment. "Now that that's out of the way, what's next? I didn't have anything specific planned until tomorrow. Did any of you find anything interesting when you were securing the farm?" Sarah decided to leave her earlier outburst shelved for now. She knew she would eventually discuss it with them, but she just wasn't ready yet.

Eliata nodded as she motioned Anedra forward. "Anedra is our defensive systems specialist. Anedra, please inform Sarah of your findings."

Anedra stopped alongside Eliata and nodded to Shepard with _lidifemea._ "Peeress, the defensive systems for both the residence and the valley are functioning within design parameters."

Shepard waited for her to continue, and prompted when she didn't. "I sense a 'but' in there somewhere Anedra."

"As Eliata indicated earlier, they are a few years behind state of the art."

"Makes sense. I had them installed seven years ago. I take that to mean you want upgrades?" Shepard wasn't daunted. She'd been able to afford the first round of defenses by herself, and if Eliata and her team were in favor of upgrades, she wouldn't talk them out of it. House T'Soni could certainly afford them. "What's your largest concern? Sensors? Cannons? Missiles? Command and control? Remember, the colonists that live here need to be able to defend themselves without blowing the place up."

Anedra nodded in understanding. "Of course, Peeress. The design in place now is remarkable in it's simplicity." She paused before asking, "There have been no instances of misidentification of friendly forces, or negligent discharge?"

Shepard shook her head. "None. The system is designed to err on the side of caution. It would be difficult to screw up. You'd have to work pretty hard to get it to fire on a friendly. I know that makes it harder to use during an attack, but I haven't kept the system a secret either. The valley's defenses are as much a deterrent as anything else."

The commando nodded as she considered this. "The largest opportunity is in defending the emplacements on the ground. In the event of an attack they're vulnerable until activated. If they're detected before that occurs they could be destroyed before they could be used."

"So you're in favor of shielding the weapons emplacements." Shepard nodded as she considered. This was probably the least expensive modification the commandos could have asked for, as well as the most useful.

"That depends Peeress."

"On what?"

"On how large a garrison you intend to place at the residence. Additional shielding would only be necessary if the equipment was not being monitored by trained personnel."

Sarah stared back, surprised. "Garrison? I wasn't planning on leaving a garrison here."

Eliata interjected at that point. "It would be customary Peeress, to station defensive personnel at any residence which might be occupied by members of the House. I presumed that was your intention."

"Boy won't the neighbors be thrilled," Shepard muttered under her breath.

"Any garrison would be unobtrusive Peeress. Given the degree of automation that already exists in the valley's defenses a team of twelve huntresses could provide an acceptable level of security to the entire valley."

"You've given this some thought."

"Only since we arrived, Peeress. It seemed prudent to begin long term planning once I became aware of the tactical situation. The security system and the geography of the location lend themselves well to defending forces."

Shepard nodded. "That was the plan. Don't do anything yet. I still have to talk all this over with Liara."

"Peeress," Eliata's tone was soft. "Your wishes are equally relevant to the House."

Shepard grinned. "Thanks, I appreciate that, but that's not what I meant. I wanted to talk to her about the farm, the valley, everything. It's where I grew up, but as you saw this morning, there are bad memories here too. If we don't have reason to come back here, maybe we should just sell it."

"If that is your wish, Peeress."

"That's why I wanted to talk to Liara. I haven't decided yet. Enough about the defenses for now. It can wait until Liara finishes up." She looked over in the direction of the kitchen. "Have any of you tried that pie?"

The commandos looked at each other, caught off guard by the non sequitur. "No, Peeress," Eliata eventually replied.

"You might want to. That way you'll know how much better my peach cobbler is." Her smile widened at the team's confusion. "Come on, into the kitchen," She headed that direction, turning around when she realized she wasn't being followed. "I meant it," she motioned with her hand. "Come on. We'll need eggs, flour, milk…"

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Anedra had already replaced Teseka at the kitchen island by the time Liara finally came downstairs.

The maiden came around the corner to be greeted by a view she did not expect. Eliata and Teseka were looking at a representation of the valley that Teseka's omni-tool projected onto the kitchen table. Anedra was rolling a thick rod back and forth across a doughy mass, and Shepard was removing trays of something from the oven. An oven from which a heavenly scent was wafting.

"Shepard?" It seemed no one had noticed her yet.

"Liara!" Sarah's head jerked around with a smile. "Stay tight there. These are hot." She placed the tray on a countertop and walked around the kitchen island to greet the Asari with a kiss. "I was wondering when you were going to finally make it down here."

"I was… distracted." The maiden couldn't meet Shepard's eyes.

"Ha!, I bet you were." Sarah's tone was teasing, but there was no malice in it. "You fell into my trap. I knew you wouldn't be able to resist." She winked at the maiden. "Did you find anything interesting?"

"I find everything about you to be interesting, Shepard," Liara looked past the Human into the kitchen, "but at the moment I am more interested in what Anedra is doing."

The huntress looked up at her name. "Hello, Peeress," she greeted Liara without stopping what she was doing. "Sarah has been teaching us how to make Human delicacies."

"Delicacies?" Challenged Liara, turning back to the commander.

"OK, first," began Shepard as she returned to the kitchen to prepare tea for Liara, "I dare anyone to not consider my peach cobbler a delicacy. Second, you have to be nice, or you won't get any sugar cookies with your tea."

Liara joined Sarah, putting an arm around her waist as the leaned into the Human. "I promise I'll be nice."

"I thought that might incentivize you," Shepard winked at the maiden. "Here's your tea," she handed the cup to Liara.

Liara took a sip before continuing. "Do you need any help? Is there anything I can do?"

"We're good, thanks. The cobbler's done, this was the last batch of cookies."

"What about…" Liara pointed to the mass in front of Anedra.

"Those are going to be blueberry almond tarts, to have with breakfast tomorrow."

"Shepard, you even have dessert with breakfast?"

"It's a special occasion, we're on vacation, remember? Anderson' orders. Why don't you have Eliata show you how she wants to fortify the valley while I help Anedra with the tarts? When you're done we can take a walk though the orchards while the salmon thaws."

With a quick kiss Liara was on her way to the kitchen table, where Shepard overheard Eliata begin, "Actually Peeress, it is not our intent to fortify the valley so much as…"

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

It was fairly late by the time the time that Liara indicated to Shepard that she was ready to go inside. The romantic combination of the porch swing and a view of the Milky Way in a sky untainted by artificial light were no longer enough to entice the Asari to remain where she was. In any event, the evening had begin to cool to a degree that she had not dressed for. Even cuddling against the Human hadn't been enough to ward off the chill. The combination of soft bed and warm covers sounded much more appealing.

Eliata, Teseka, and Anedra had excused themselves hours earlier, leaving only Lysliis with the monotonous task of monitoring the farm's defenses. The pair checked in with the commando when they entered the house. They received her report in return that the residence was secure. Liara knew that Shepard didn't think it necessary, but she was proud of the woman for not saying so. Their people knew their jobs, and tradition and propriety were so much more important to Asari than Humans.

They stopped in the kitchen to drop off the remains of their tea and cookies. Shepard insisted on washing their cups and plates before going upstairs, knowing that if she didn't they would have been taken care of before they came down in the morning. Liara had smiled at the behavior even as she dried their dishes, Lysliis pretending not to notice the pair's domestic activity. Shepard could be stubborn, but at least she was consistent. The woman might never become fully comfortable letting others do things for her that she could do for herself. Liara was confident that enough time at the estate would help mitigate that part of her nature. There was just too much to do in managing the family holdings for her to be personally involved in all of it. Just running the Normandy in the hands on manner she did left the Human sleep deprived.

Dishes cleaned and put away, Liara led Sarah upstairs. She noticed the beginnings of a mischievous grin on the Human's face. Liara was learning that look, but there was a discussion to be had first, one that had been brewing most of the day.

As they entered Shepard's bedroom, Sarah claimed the washroom first. Liara listened to the sounds of the spectre brushing her teeth and changing into sleepwear. She herself removed her boots and the pants she'd put on after her shower. She only had a moment to wait before Shepard emerged from getting ready for bed. Sarah was wearing a Blasto t-shirt and holding her pistol, an incongruous look if ever there was one.

The commander placed her weapon in the bedside table before turning to Liara.

"Hello there," she said softly.

"Hello Shepard," Liara replied. "We need to talk."

The response caught the spectre off guard, and she hesitated before closing some of the distance between them. "That doesn't sound good." She stepped forward again. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing is 'wrong', Shepard. You often seem concerned about communication and translation issues and there was one today."

"Oh?" Sarah reached for the buttons on Liara's shirt.

"Stop it," Liara pushed Shepard's hands away.

"What's the matter?" Sarah looked legitimately confused.

"Today, when we arrived. When that woman came to meet us…" Liara trailed off.

"Helen?" Shepard prompted.

"Yes, Helen." Again, Liara didn't continue.

"What about her?"

"The way you introduced us."

"Liara, you have to help me here. I'm completely lost." Sarah stepped forward again even as Liara stepped back.

"'Bondmate' does not mean 'girlfriend' Shepard!" Liara raised her voice more than she had intended.

Shepard took a step back, nonplussed. "That's why you're angry?"

"I am not angry," Liara replied angrily. "But bondmate has a very specific meaning, and it is one that is not to be used lightly."

"I didn't use it lightly," Sarah replied.

"You did not use it correctly either."

Shepard took a step back, and started pacing in the limited space. "It isn't that I don't know what it meant, or even that it isn't to be used lightly. There was just no other word I could use."

"You should have tried harder." Liara suddenly found this conversation to be even more important. If Shepard didn't even know how to describe what they were to each other, what did they really have? Was she fooling herself about the commander's feelings for her?

Sarah seemed to sense the maiden's distress, as her voice became slow and measured. She was obviously trying to prevent this moment from escalating. "Come here, Liara."

"I am not finished, Shepard."

"Neither am I," Sarah reached for Liara's hand. The look she received in response wasn't encouraging, but the maiden also didn't pull away. Taking that as a hopeful sign, the spectre guided them both to the bed, where she pulled Liara down to sit beside her. "I know bondmate wasn't entirely appropriate, and I'm sorry." She shushed the maiden when she started to interject. "But other words didn't work either. Girlfriend? We're way beyond that. I needed a word that spoke to how I feel about you, but was also a word that Helen would recognize and understand. Wife wasn't it. Wife has a very specific connotation on Mindoir, and one that I most certainly do not associate with you. Companion? Partner?" Shepard shook her head. "Those might work on a contract, but they don't communicate how I feel about you, don't say what you mean to me." She looked into Liara's eyes, hoping that she could reach the maiden through the emotion she saw there.

Liara took a deep breath, attempting to calm herself. "Even so Shepard, there is a permanence to the term that I do not believe even 'wife' captures. You need to understand that. Suppose we reach a point where we decide to formalize our relationship with a binding ceremony. Perhaps we go even further and become bonded, forever sharing a part of ourselves with the other. These are the things you make me think of when you say 'bondmate' Shepard. You need to know that is what you are doing to me when you say these things."

Shepard nodded, indicating her understanding. "When I look at you, when I think of us together, the word I think of is 'bondmate'. You need to know that too."

Liara felt the tears start forming even as she pulled Shepard to her, kissing her hungrily, greedily.

Sarah smiled into her mouth. "Maybe I did say something right."

"Shut up, Shepard," Liara replied as she pushed her back onto the bed.

* * *

A/N: Assumptions here include:

FemShep/Liara  
Post ME1 ending - after the Battle of the Citadel, before beginning of ME2

Shepard is:  
Colonist / Vanguard / War Hero

As always, feedback is welcome and desired.


	19. Trust

Oramonc was a spreading glow to the East, not yet above the horizon. The stars were still visible. The break of day as yet a promise, unfulfilled.

The lightest of breezes caressed the fields on their way across the valley. The pre-dawn serenity was an anticipatory one, soon to be filled with the sounds of both native and transplanted species, each absorbed with the business of staying alive. For now, a tranquility filled the air that would never be present in a more urban environment, regardless of the time of day.

The morning took a dramatic turn for the denizens of the field when silence was pierced by a combination of music and footfalls. Various rodents and insects were started awake from their slumber, sending them scurrying deeper into the fields, seeking perceived safety.

" _You think you can fight me,_

 _But you're not that strong._

 _This isn't my struggle,_

 _I've already moved on._

 _You can't have my attention,_

 _Don't try to appeal._

 _I'm a vision of harmony,_

 _Asleep on the battlefield."_

Shepard's omni blasted out the refrain from "Sleeping on the Battlefield", a personal favorite. Her feet slapped a measured cadence against the dry ground while she sang along. The spectre's voice a passable alto, harmonizing with the soprano of the singer.

It was a cool morning, but not as cool as it had been when they'd landed in DuBois the day before. Sarah was making good time. There was enough light between the predawn sky and her omni-tool for her easily to be able to see her way between rows of corn. The breeze through her hair was scarcely audible over the sound of her omni blasting out her playlist.

She was about half an hour into her run, still nearly four kilometers from halfway through her planned twenty. She wasn't alone in the fields, the sounds of her pursuer lost in the blaring music. A glance over her shoulder confirmed that her shadow was still present.

She smiled as she turned down the volume with a wave of her hand, and then gestured for the Asari to join her. Eliata was beside her in moments, closing the 30 meters between them faster than Shepard expected. The commando was wearing her full kit, her commando leathers a sharp contrast to Sarah's tank top and shorts.

"Captain."

"Peeress." Eliata's voice was awash in professionalism.

The commander sighed inwardly. Of course Eliata would be exactly as formal as she herself had been. By greeting the Asari by her position, Sarah had guaranteed that she would be responded to in kind.

"I meant to say, 'Good morning, Eliata,'" corrected the Human.

"Good morning to you as well, Sarah," came the amended response, confirming the commander's supposition.

Shepard's eyes passed up and down her companion. "Aren't the leathers a bit much exercise to exercise in?" She could work with this. The commander had wanted time to get to know Liara's security detail better. A little over an hour of PT might be just the opportunity she was looking for.

"I am on duty. This is my uniform."

"Well sure," Sarah conceded. "But even the Alliance has appropriate uniforms for different circumstances. Aren't you going to get uncomfortable? It's cool out, but not so cool that I would want to run wrapped in leather."

Eliata paused a moment before replying. "It was never a consideration, Peeress." Shepard winced at the return of her title. "A huntress never knows when she will be called into action. How effective would I be if I could not perform my duties while equipped with gear?"

"The crest probably helps too," Sarah noted as she chuckled. "If I did this run in leathers I'd lose five kilos in water weight by the end of it." She considered the commando at her side, "It's no burden at all, is it? I could keep this pace up most of the day. You wouldn't have any problem at all staying with me, would you?"

"Under these conditions? No, Peeress."

"I sense there's more coming," despite being respectful, Shepard could almost hear a boast in the Asari's tone.

"The temperatures have been cool. The humidity is reasonably low, and Mindoir is a low gravity world. I would expect to be able to maintain this pace for a minimum of forty hours, and still be fresh enough to engage an enemy." She met the commander's gaze, "Any of my commandos would be able to. I would consider that a minimum expectation for a member of the T'Soni guard."

Shepard was silent for a time, the sound of Eliata's booted footfalls eclipsing the more muted sounds of Sarah's running shoes.

"You yourself have spent similar lengths of time on missions, have you not? The Normandy was on Noveria for nearly three days when your crew confronted Benezia."

Bringing up the death of Liara's mother was a risky move, but the commander heard the unease behind it. Eliata was concerned that she had potentially offended her patron.

"I have, sure. Our equipment helps overcome Human frailty." She flashed a grin at the Asari, hoping to communicate her lack of offense. "A typical hardsuit is a reasonably self sustaining environment, even capable of allowing operation in space. Given the most basic load out, it provides muscle augmentation, and comes with stimpacks, medi-gel, pain management, field rations, waste collection and filtration, and a reserve air supply. N7 issue takes even that that to extreme levels. I spent nearly a month in my hardsuit once. By the time I took it off I had chafing to a level that I hope to never see again. I couldn't deploy for a month after that." She grinned again. "Lesson learned. Let's just say that I make liberal use of talcum powder if I think I'm going to going to be in the suit for a while, and I keep it fitted to within an inch of its life." Sara could tell that she'd confused Eliata with her last statement, but unlike Liara, the captain either didn't feel comfortable asking for clarification, or felt it unnecessary.

Eliata kept her own counsel, seeming of the opinion that a response was not required. The pair continued in silence for a time.

When they reached the ten kilometer mark, Shepard could hold her tongue no longer. She was never known for her patience, and she missed the distraction of her music. Deciding that it would be rude to inflict her singing on the commando now that she was no longer pretending the matron wasn't there, she tried again to engage her in conversation.

"So Eliata, what do you think of all this?"

"What do you mean Peeress?"

"Everything. Saren. The Reapers," she moved onto unsafe territory, "Benezia. Me."

"I am sworn to the service of the House, Peeress."

"I know that. You're also a," Shepard stopped short of saying 'human being', "perceptive individual. You're the person that Liara has entrusted with the safety of her House. I'm curious to know that person and her opinions."

"For what purpose?"

Shepard suppressed her immediate response, which was one of anger. "Because you've been doing what you do longer than I've been alive. Because you're probably the best resource I could ask for to get a handle on our current situation, or Liara would never have chosen you as captain of the guard. Because I want to get to know you better, and part of that is knowing your opinions, and convincing you that it is safe to share those opinions with me."

"And I thank you for that Peeress, but it is unnecessary. I will offer counsel if it seems appropriate. Otherwise, my opinions are my own, and I will not trouble you with them."

Shepard poked a potential sore spot. "So it doesn't bother you that Liara brought a Human home to the family?"

"It is not my place to judge, Peeress. Even it it were, Benezia choosing to bond with another Asari would be considered far more scandalous than Liara taking a Human bondmate."

Shepard turned away from the Asari in embarrassment. "We're not technically…"

Eliata cut her off before she could continue. "You named her 'bondmate' Sarah, publicly." Shepard turned back at the sound of her name. "Liara did not refute the label, and in fact seemed quite pleased by it." The huntress made a show of her gaze running up and down the commander's long form. "I will be blunt, Commander. Your feelings for each other are obvious to the House, and have been so since your visit to Thessia. She named you cari'ssi'mi. Although you have not had a binding ceremony, at this point it is a mere formality. Similar to your embarking on a romantic relationship together; if you are not bonded yet, you soon will be. It is simply a matter of time."

' _Well, that certainly was blunt,'_ the commander admitted even as she tried to shake her discomfort at how easily Asari seemed able to read them. "And you're all right with all that? Everyone I talk to keeps saying they are. OK, except for maybe Tevos," she corrected. "But I thought that Asari were all about the long view, and didn't embrace change easily."

Eliata laughed, the first time that Shepard could remember hearing the commando do so. "We have been maidens all, Sarah. Liara's choices may be unexpected, but they are not atypical. If anything, I would say that the House is pleased to see Liara embracing what makes her happy."

"And I make her happy?" Sarah hated how much reassurance she sought by asking the question.

"There was a time when I would have said that I had never seen Liara happy. I have seen her committed, devoted, enthusiastic. As a child, her curiosity knew no bounds. I have also seen her angry. Goddess, we have all seen her angry. There was so much animosity between her and Benezia. She is a person of many emotions, but happiness had never been one of them. Until now."

When Shepard didn't reply, the matron continued. "Your concern does you credit Peeress, but it is unfounded. I suggest that you not concern yourself with the opinions of others, and allow us to work together to address fight that is coming."

"The Reapers."

"As you say."

"You don't believe me?"

"It does not matter if I do, Peeress. My place is to support House T'Soni. If the Reapers exist, then any preparation might be for naught. If they do not, then the militarization of the house will be an interesting diversion. House T'Soni had been a family of philosophical and economic pursuits for generations. Perhaps for too long."

"Well, even if you're just doing it to humor me, that's more than the Council and the Alliance seem willing to do."

"You have demonstrated time and time again that your concern is the well being of Liara and her House. I say again, it is not my place to judge how you express that concern. I know it to be true."

"Now you sound like Denai."

"Wisdom is wisdom, Peeress." This time Shepard was sure she could detect a note of smugness in the huntress' voice that time. "Denai is ever your advocate."

"I'm not sure I know what that that means," countered Shepard. "I'm not even sure I've convinced her that the Reapers are coming." She cocked her head. "I think Stallura believes me though."

"Because she is acting on your instruction?"

"Partially, yes."

"Why would she not?"

"Um, because it would be a stupid thing to do if she doesn't believe me?"

Eliata was silent for a time, the pairs' rhythmic paces bringing them closer to the farm. "I believe that you are encountering the 'long view' that you seem to so expect from Asari, Peeress."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that you have been concerned that the members of the House are not convinced of your claim. This causes you to work harder to convince us."

"It would be nice if someone believed me, yes."

"Does Liara not believe you?"

"Of course she does." Sarah's faith in Liara was total.

"And you know this how?" Eliata prompted.

Shepard ticked off reasons in her mind. "Well, she was there for one thing. She was with me when we fought Sovereign." The shudder that ran through Eliata went unnoticed. "For another, Benezia. Her mother reinforced what we had already learned about the Reapers, about indoctrination." When Eliata simply continued to run without comment, Shepard continued. "It wasn't just Saren that we interacted with. We actually _spoke_ to Sovereign. And then there were the Prothean beacons…"

Eliata pounced. "And Liara also interacted with these beacons?"

"Well no," Sara equivocated, "I was the only one who did that."

"And she knows their content how?" The matron prompted.

"I couldn't process the data. It was too much, too alien. I didn't have a frame of reference, and then the headaches. Until Liara was able to help me, there were times that I could barely hold myself together."

"How did she help you Commander?"

"She helped me process the information. Once we had the Cypher, it was almost like a codex, allowing us to interpret…"

"Commander," Eliata interrupted.

"Yes?" Sarah's rush of information came to a halt.

"You're talking about the meld."

Sarah felt blood rush to her cheeks. "Yes."

"There is no reason to be embarrassed, Sarah." Eliata shifted again to a familiar mode of address. "Melding is part of who we are. It is part of how we share information, it is part of how we share ourselves. The fact that you meld with your bondmate is to be expected. Of course Liara has melded with you. She continues to meld with you. You cannot lie in the meld, Sarah. You cannot hide who you are." The matron paused until Shepard nodded her understanding.

"This is why we do not concern ourselves with acquiring proof of your statements, or questioning your claims. Liara may be an unusual maiden, but she is exceptionally intelligent, and not credulous. Most of the household has melded with Liara at some point in her life. She loves you. We trust her, and through her, we trust you. In time, that trust will become direct, and not through Liara as an intermediary. Until and unless proven otherwise, we are content to allow this process to occur naturally. There is no hurry. Until that time, it does no harm to act on your advice. Such action will either be unnecessary, or vital. In either case, I am convinced you mean no harm to Liara, or to the rest of the House that you are now a part of."

Sarah wasn't sure she liked that answer, even if it worked to her benefit. "What you're saying is that I could be completely wrong, but even if I am, it doesn't hurt to prepare as if I'm right?"

"Spoken like a matriarch. Is it preparing for the worst case not the safest route?"

"Ha! Good point. It isn't like I'm not wrong about something three times before breakfast anyway."

"Peeress," Sarah turned sharply at the sudden seriousness of Eliata's tone. "I understand your distress, and why you seek validation." The matron held up a hand when Shepard started to interrupt. "If these Reapers really are coming, it is far more than one person should be asked to handle. The very scope of this menace defies rational thought." At that, Eliata slipped effortlessly from her role as captain of the guard to that of a matron comforting a very young maiden. "We are with you. Both of you. No matter what happens, or what fate befalls us, House T'Soni will face it together. We are one family. Always."

Sarah blinked away the moisture in her eyes. The reality of being a part of a family again was one that she had not yet grown accustomed to, and the emotions it carried were not always hers to control. "Thank you Eliata, really. I'm not sure what I was looking for, but…" She trailed off. "It means a lot to me. What you've said. What you're doing, all of you." Sarah waved an arm to signal encompassing the entire House. "I just feel like an interloper sometimes, that I have no right to ask…"

"You have every right _Peeress_ ," Eliata stressed the word. "Any who would disagree will deal with me, Denai, or others. You are cari'ssi'mi, bondmate to Lady Liara in practice if not in fact, and heir to House T'Soni. You have the support of tens of thousands, and the resources of a province at your disposal. Do not forget that."

Shepard nodded to the matron, appreciating what she was trying to do. She had the resources of the Council and House T'Soni at her back. Hopefully the support of the Alliance as well. Even together, she knew it wasn't nearly enough to stop the Reapers, but was as good a start as any.

For now, she was hungry. She picked up her pace to get them back to the farmhouse, and breakfast.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

"I do not see why we have to meet the trustee at his office, Shepard." Sharing the back seat of the skycar allowed Liara to direct the full brunt of her annoyance at Shepard.

It was uncommon for Liara to question Shepard publicly, a vestige of learned behavior onboard ship. Here however, they were equals, partners, and Sarah was glad that the Asari had no problem speaking her mind, even if it wasn't entirely convenient.

"I just think it will be easier to do this in person." _'So he can't hang up on me, or give me some crap about inheritance law on Mindoir.'_ She thought. "Besides, I thought we could pick up some Asari food while we're in DuBois."

Liara looked at Shepard questioningly. "Food could be delivered, Shepard."

"You just wanted to stay home all day?"

"You are on leave, Shepard. I promised both Captain Anderson and Dr. Chakwas that I would force you to rest."

"Like you did last night?"

The maiden did not offer a response.

"I'm sorry. Look, we won't be out all day. Just these two errands, and then we don't need to leave the farm until we go to Thessia. Deal?"

"Agreed, Shepard." The annoyed look on Liara's face starting to clear.

"Besides, I know you only want to keep going through my journals."

And just like that, the annoyed look returned.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

"Sarah, it is so good to see you." The large man stepped around his desk, grasping the commander by the shoulders before kissing each cheek. Liara, for her part, stood off to one side, unsure of the protocol of the current situation.

"Good to see you too, Jean," the commander replied as he released her and turned his attention to Liara.

"And who is this?" He held out his hand.

"This is Dr. Liara T'Soni, Prothean researcher, Head of House T'Soni," Shepard paused while the trustee took Liara's hand to his lips, "and my bondmate. Liara, this is Maître Jean Marchand. He's the trustee for the Lefevre Valley Trust."

Marchand took a step back from Liara with a smile on his face. "Bondmate, eh? Good for you. That's something I thought I'd never see, you settling down." He waved the pair to overstuffed chairs while he walked to an alcove containing a tea service.

"It looks like you were expecting us."

"It's a small colony. News travels fast." He looked over his shoulder. "Tea for both? Either? I'm having some regardless."

"Please," replied Shepard as she sat down. "For both," she continued after a nod from Liara. "We also have two more with us, they're out with Emma," Shepard's head motion indicated the receptionist they'd walked past to gain access to Marchand's office.

Marchand activated his omni-tool. "Emma, please see to the comfort of Sarah's guests." He glanced at Shepard. "We might be a little while." He looked up questioningly, then closed the link at Shepard's nod.

Marchand served his guests first, before pouring his own tea and taking a seat across from the pair. "I suppose it's too much to hope that you're planning to move back home, take over the farm?"

"Sorry no. Not anytime soon, at any rate. I'm just here to add Liara as an inheritor on the trust."

The man sighed heavily. "You just can't make my life any easier, can you Sarah?"

"Pardon?"

Marchand placed his tea on the table before standing to pace. "Do you have any idea how many standing offers we have for the valley?"

"More than a few, I'm sure."

"Very nearly one for each resident who lives out there, in addition to one on behalf of the territory itself."

"This should make your life easier then. People always assumed that I would lose interest in the valley, perhaps eventually sever my ties to Mindoir. This will demonstrate how unlikely that is."

"Let's be honest. No one assumed you were going to leave your father's legacy behind. Everyone was simply waiting for you to die an ugly death on some godforsaken ball of dirt as a hero of the Alliance. Elysium certainly didn't help dissuade people of the opinion that was going to happen."

"Thanks a lot."

"You know it's true."

"Fine," she huffed. "So it's true. What's the big deal then? You were always concerned about what would happen to the Foundation if something happened to me. That shouldn't be a problem anymore."

"They'll tie you up in court," he sighed again as he lowered himself back into his seat.

"What? Why?"

"Because she's an Asari." He turned to Liara, "I mean no offense."

"None taken, Trustee Marchand." Liara exuded calm.

"Spell it out for the layperson," Shepard sounded ready to bite nails. "What's wrong with Liara."

"There's nothing wrong with her, Sarah. Of course not. It's what's wrong with the law."

"Meaning…" she waited for Marchand to continue.

"As a non-Human, Liara has no status under Mindoir law."

"You have to be kidding. Again, what does that mean."

"It means Sarah, that she has no rights, no protections, and most importantly," he paused for effect, "that she cannot inherit."

"That's ridiculous, She's a galactic citizen."

"Which has no meaning on Mindoir."

"Mindoir recognizes reciprocal citizenship."

"With the Systems Alliance, Sarah, not with Council Space."

"I have citizenship in the Republics now. Does that mean I'm not welcome here either?"

"That is in addition to your citizenship in the SA, and on Mindoir. It does not impact either." He cocked his head. "Given your notoriety, you would probably petition to get your birthright citizenship on Earth restored as well. You had no say in renouncing it anyway. You were an infant when your parents moved to Mindoir. You would truly be a citizen of the galaxy."

"This isn't about me, it's about her." Sarah took to her feet. "We'll get the law changed."

"Public opinion is not in your favor."

"Do you mean to tell me that there are no relationships on Mindoir that involve a non-Human?"

"Of course there are. Dr. Teste at the university, for instance. He's Salarian. We dine together quite often. His partner is human. There are others. Not many, but a small percentage of the residents on Mindoir are non-Human."

"And this Dr. Teste, he would be unable to inherit his spouse's estate upon their death?"

"He probably would be able to, actually, but he's not Asari."

"Getting angry here, Jean. You need to start making sense."

Marchand sighed, looking uncomfortable. "It isn't about her not being Human, Sarah. At least not entirely. It's about"

"Lifespan," Liara concluded for him, her dulcet tones calming Shepard like nothing else could.

"What?" Sarah turned her attention to Liara for the first time since the conversation began.

Marchand looked relived as Liara continued. "It appears that there are many that covet your property. They did not expect that you would ever willingly release it, so instead they waited with the expectation that it would become available upon your death. This was not unreasonable, given your profession and lack of heir." The maiden glanced at the trustee for confirmation. "However, for you to suddenly not only have an heir, but one that would likely outlive twenty five generations of Humans, there are those who would find that change of circumstance to be unacceptable."

Shepard turned back to Marchand, disbelief plain on her features. "Are you serious Jean? Is she right, or are you just borrowing trouble?"

"I wish I were Sarah," the burly man activated his omni-tool as he transmitted a set of documents to the pair. "This was filed yesterday. Planetary court, not territory. It looks like someone wanted to make sure there was no chance of it being overturned. It's a filing to disallow the passage of the Shepard estate to any non-Human or non-Human backed entity in the event of your demise."

"On what grounds?" asked Liara as she scrolled through the document.

"On the grounds that Lefevre Valley is a place of historic interest for humanity, and as such, should not pass out of Human control."

Shepard drilled Marchand with her eyes. "Place of historic interest?"

"As the location where a juvenile Commander Shepard repelled a Batarian attack on Mindoir."

"Fuck. They made this about me."

"Of course they did, Shepard." Liara stated absently as she read through the filing. "Maître Marchand. This states that the valley cannot pass to a non-Human in the event of Shepard's death."

"That is correct, Miss T'Soni."

" _Doctor_ T'Soni," Shepard automatically corrected.

"I meant no disrespect."

"Of course not," Liara continued dryly. "However, the document mentions nothing about preventing the purchase of the valley from Shepard while she is alive."

"Well," Marchand stammered, "I don't think anyone considered that option."

"Anyone," Shepard focused on the man's sudden discomfort, "or _you_?"

Marchand seemed on the verge of sweating. "The purchase of such a well known asset will attract attention. If it were to be purchased for a sum below a reasonable market value, the transaction will be challenged in court. 'One credit and additional considerations to be named later' will not work in this case. The property is simply too high profile."

"Still, a purchase at market valuation would not be prevented by this," Liara waved her hand at the filing in disgust, "thing."

"No," Marchand's tone changed to one just shy of condescending, "But a valuation of Lefevre Valley skews even higher than its value as an asset due to the extreme level of market interest."

"What is the current appraised value?"

"Doctor?"

"What is the current appraised value of Shepard's valley?"

"I'm afraid I don't have current data available…"

"Don't bullshit me Jean," Shepard cut him off. "You pay the taxes on that land. You collect the thirty percent from the farmers who sharecrop on it to fund the Foundation." She looked around the office, "And things look pretty plush around here too. A lot more than I remember. What's it worth?"

Marchand was a man backed into a corner. "Going rates for cultivated farmland are about 3,020 credits an acre. Twenty eight hundred square kilometers, with a premium for being considered a heritage site,"

Liara interrupted before the man could continue. "I do not know what value humanity places on its heritage, Maître Marchand, but I believe that twenty five billion credits would pass any reasonable test of 'fair' value." The Asari was obviously not impressed by the man's behavior.

"Jean!" Shepard raised her voice. Marchand had fallen silent in shock. "She gave you a number. Yes or no?"

Marchand turned back to Shepard. Blinked once, twice, and swallowed before finally replying. "Yes, yes, of course. More than fair, _far_ more," he murmured. He shook his head in confusion. "Liquidating enough assets for such a purchase will likely take time. How many months would you need to perform such a transaction? Will there be corporate entities involved? Board approvals?"

"It will be a personal transition, Maître Marchand. I will pay in galactic credits, and I will do it now." She re-activated her omni-tool as she turned to Shepard. "If you like, I can have Barrister Nagalia draw up a bill of sale when we reach Thessia." She glanced in Marchand's direction. "as I would prefer not to avail myself of local legal services."

"No!" A shout interrupted the transaction as a man burst in from a side door. "That valley is mine!" He whirled on Marchand. "Jean! You said you could control her, control this!"

"Bobby?" Shepard's questioning tone pierced the shocked silence of the room. "Son of a bitch." She turned to Marchand. "It all makes sense. Knowing I'm on the planet was no surprise, but you were expecting us both." She turned to Bobby. "Helen called you. Told you I was here, with Liara. That's why you're back on Mindoir."

"It doesn't matter," Collins sneered, confident in his victory. "Jean drew up the filing, even if he did screw up, it's not enough to make a difference." He laughed. "Twenty five billion credits. You were bluffing. No one has that kind of cash."

Shepard smiled. "Except my bondmate." She stepped close to Liara as the Asari rose to join her. "I might have to borrow against next week's allowance, but that shouldn't be a problem." Collins' expression told her he'd missed the joke. "Ever hear of Khos Fabrications? That's just one of her companies. Twenty five billion isn't exactly pocket change, but it still falls into the realm of walking around money for Liara. Wanna go for two out of three?"

"Jean?" Collins turned to Marchand, panic starting to settle over his features. "What is she talking about?"

"It means you lost, you ass. We lost. I never should have let you talk me into this. I certainly never expected that Shepard had walked out of here and walked into money." Anger clouded his features. "The way she gives everything away, I assumed it meant nothing to her, that she was just another dumb Alliance grunt."

Liara's hand was still poised over her omni-tool. "Maître Marchand, Mr. Collins? Do I need to complete this transaction?"

Collins' face showed hope. "Does that mean you can't?" He turned to Marchand. "Jean, we might still have this."

Marchand shook his head, his time as a trial lawyer having taught him when he had won, and when he was beaten.

Collins was unbowed. "If you don't, if you can't prove to me that you can, I'll continue to fight you."

Liara's voice never wavered. "And if I complete this transaction, then I expect you to vacate my property immediately."

"What?"

"I prefer not to have adversarial tenants, Mr. Collins. Sarah is forgiving by nature, but I am not. If you force me to complete this transaction, which by the way, will cause me no hardship except some small amount of administrative work, then I will expect you to remove yourself and your assets from my property before the end of the day."

"You can't do that! I have a contract!"

"With the current owner. I will not be assuming any contracts, as this is an asset only purchase. Sarah however, will be well able to payoff any penalty clauses that might exist." She glanced at Shepard who was shaking her head. "I stand corrected, that might have existed."

Interpreting Collins' silence as a desire for her not to proceed, Liara turned to Marchand. "Maître Marchand, please draw up the inheritance documents that Sarah requested."

"And if I don't?"

"If you do not acquiesce to Sarah's request, and additionally make yourself available to Barrister Nagalia when she contacts you about a transfer of trusteeship, then I shall have you disbarred for acting against the interest of your client."

"Anything else?" He growled through clenched teeth.

"Yes," Liara resumed her seat. "While we are waiting, I would like another cup of that excellent tea."

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Shepard was gazing at Liara in adoration.

"Shepard. You are staring again."

"I thought you were asleep."

"You stare at me while I sleep?"

"No," replied Sarah defensively. "Well yes," she corrected. "But that's not the point. Did I tell you that you're amazing?"

"Several times," came the sleepy response. "And if you are saying so now, that is the fourth time since we have gone to bed."

"Today though, when you beat Jean at his own game." Shepard frowned for a moment. "I thought he was a friend. Anyway," she carried on, "when you beat him today, you were just…"

"…Amazing?"

"Exactly." She nuzzled closer to Liara.

"Shepard," a quiet murmur in the dark.

"Yes?"

"Go to sleep."

Sarah closed her eyes, safe in the embrace of her bondmate.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Shepard was jolted awake.

The equipment in her hardsuit had applied cortical stimulation in the struggle to keep her body from failing in the cold and lack of oxygen.

She turned her head, gasping for breath even as she spied the expanding wreckage of the Normandy.

Sarah struggled for consciousness even as she felt it slipping away from her.

' _Liara…'_

* * *

A/N: Assumptions here include:

FemShep/Liara  
Post ME1 ending - after the Battle of the Citadel, before beginning of ME2

Shepard is:  
Colonist / Vanguard / War Hero

As always, feedback is welcome and desired.


	20. Farewells

"I am not unwilling to make the 'hard decisions'. If your outlook is a pessimistic one, you do not need to shield me from it." Her tone was mild, even though her words were not. Liara was Head of House, after all. Although her accomplishments had earned her the respect of some, it was those who'd she'd known the longest who tended to try to protect her as a maiden, and not the sovereign she had been forced to become.

"Peeress! I would never!" The matron looked affronted. "I am very aware of the amount of faith that you have placed in me. I won't let you or House T'Soni down."

"Very well, Jedis. What news then? Matriarch Stallura has been expanding the operations at Khos much more quickly than I expected. I anticipate that we will have to liquidate assets faster than originally discussed to successfully fund this level of growth."

As usual, the matron's expression was sheepish. Liara waited with only mild impatience before Jedis looked back into the the lens of her terminal, to meet the gaze of her patron. "I have to apologize, Dr. T'Soni. I failed to foresee the impact of your mission itself on galactic markets." Again, the matron stopped while still leaving her explanation incomplete.

' _I may need to have Iryra work with her soon,'_ thought Liara. _'Despite her skills, Jedis' rapid promotion appears to have left her with some insecurity in her position.'_ She loved her mother, but it was at times like this that Liara missed Benezia the most. Benezia, in her prime, had conducted House T'Soni affairs like a finely tuned orchestra. Benezia would most certainly have predicted the outcomes of Shepard's mission, of that, Liara had no doubt. And Jedis, Jedis would still be hundreds of years away from her current level of responsibility. Centuries she would have spent being groomed to be perfectly prepared for her role.

Liara knew her responsibilities as Head of House, and did her best to meet them. Still, Liara's minor victories on Mindoir, with the Alliance, and even on Thessia would not have impressed Benezia. Her mother would simply have smiled indulgently at her daughter's efforts, while effortlessly pointing out both her errors of judgement and flaws in execution. Liara knew that Benezia would have characterized Jedis as both. Still, the maiden would not reverse her decision. Liara trusted Jedis, and in times like these, trust was more important than almost any other factor. Liara banished the train of thought from her mind, before her faced burned from the nonexistent judgement of a deceased parent.

She returned to the moment. "Matron Panya." Liara's tone and the formality of her address left no question as to her dissatisfaction as to how slowly this conversation was progressing. "To what impact are you speaking?"

Jedis took a breath, seeming to center herself before continuing. "The Battle of the Citadel, Peeress. It has changed the priorities of colonies throughout Council space."

"Oh?" This was indeed unprepared for news. "Does that mean that there are those who will now support our cause as we prepare for the Reapers?" Liara could use additional allies.

"No Peeress," Jedis' focus was again not on her comm as she appeared to reference datapads that were out of view of the pickup. "However, with the Citadel Fleet being overcome with apparent ease, and the unknown intent of the Alliance forces that are now acting in their stead, there are those who are taking advantage of the apparent instability in Council space. Many colonies are seeing a significant uptick in pirate activity. Even those colonies that lie deep within Council space are choosing to expand their defense forces at a remarkable rate."

Liara considered, "Meaning that colonies are now suddenly in the market for armaments, defenses, and ships that never were before."

"Yes, Peeress," the matron nodded her agreement.

Liara understood Jedis' point, and expanded upon it. "These colonies have limited places to turn. Stallura had already converted the facilities under her authority to the manufacturing of ships and munitions, while also placing as many other facilities as were available under contract, also to manufacture to her specifications."

"You are correct, Peeress," Jedis did not go so far as to confirm Liara's suspicions.

"Khos now controls the largest manufacturing capacity in the Republics, either directly or indirectly." It was a statement.

"They do, Peeress." Jedis seemed willing to continue this time, now that Liara had expressed her understanding of the situation. "There were many inactive shipyards and factories that were available for commission. Some had laid idle for hundreds of years. Matriarch Stallura contracted with every firm she could. Due to the lack of demand for the type of facilities that Stallura required, many were more than willing to sign contracts with open ended durations, even under the poorest of terms."

Liara closed her eyes, holding back a smile. This turn of events was unforeseen, but not unwelcome. She returned her attention to her terminal, and the expectant matron looking back at her. "Your updated forecast is a profitable one then?"

"Very. Khos Fabrications currently controls just under forty four percent of the shipbuilding capacity of the Parnitha system, and nearly sixty percent of the combined capacity of the ten largest Asari colonies." Jedis gave Liara a moment to process that information. "As the majority of these shipyards were not operating when placed under contract, Khos was the only fabricator of any size with capacity to accept new contracts at the pace of demand." This time the matron offered a smile of our own. "Shipbuilding alone will provide an increase of 720 billion credits for Khos during this fiscal period."

Liara nodded at the news that Khos would not be depleting T'Soni coffers, as she had anticipated. "I imagine that such an expedited retooling was relatively inefficient. What percentage of profitability should Khos expect on this new revenue?"

"That was the profit, Peeress. Gross revenue is far larger. As I indicated, the increase in defensive spending was unprecedented. It caught the majority of manufacturers unprepared. They will no doubt expand their capabilities, but for now, House T'Soni controls nearly all of the capacity in the Republics that was readily convertible for defensive use."

Liara was about to press Jedis for additional detail when Eliata appeared at her elbow.

"She has been asking about you, Peeress," the commando offered in a muted tone. "With increasing frequency."

"I did inform her that I needed a couple of hours to catch up with events back at the estate." Liara indicated the monitors all around her desk, a bedroom having been converted into workspace for the maiden.

"Would you like for me to relay that message, Peeress?" Obedient the commando might be, but her voice did nothing to conceal her opinion of being placed in the position of go-between.

Liara sighed as she checked her chronometer. "No Captain, thank you. It has been nearly four hours. Honestly longer than I expected to be left alone". She turned her attention back to her terminal. "Jedis, please forward your report, as well as the current liquidity position of the House. If Stallura is generating revenue at the rate she appears to be, perhaps we should be evaluating facilities operated by other races as well." She disconnected the comm before the matron could piece together a response.

"What have I missed?" She asked Eliata as she rose.

The commando fell in beside Liara as they left the office and headed towards the stairs. "Little of consequence, Peeress. Humans have continued to arrive throughout the afternoon."

"We were expecting a large turnout. Most of the valley communicated an intention to attend."

"Yes, but many guests seem to be more interested in the newly arrived maidens than they are in the food and entertainment."

Liara looked at Eliata, seeking hidden meaning in the comment. "Have there been any problems?" Although the residents of what she thought of as "Shepard's Valley" had been open to the idea of an Asari garrison, there was still opportunity for a cultural understanding this early in the encounter.

"None to my knowledge. Most of those engaging with the maidens have been adolescents or younger adults. Easily distracted."

"And the older adults?"

"Have been hospitable. Pamela has asked about 'Mrs. Shepard' several times."

Liara rolled her eyes. "This could have gone so much worse. I have little cause to complain if my greatest inconvenience is an inquisitive neighbor."

"As you say, Peeress," the commando agreed.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Liara emerged from the house blinking in the afternoon light of Oramonc. There had been a great deal of change at the Shepard farm in the few weeks she had been on Mindoir.

When she had arrived, there were crops planted nearly to the house, leaving the smallest of clearance available for skycar and pedestrian passage. Those crops had been cleared out to over a hundred and fifty meters from the front porch, exposing space that was currently occupied by cars and guests. The barracks for the garrison was finally complete, on the opposite side of the house from the barn, but of an identical design. Liara approved of the symmetry. Shepard had been concerned about appearances until it became clear that the T'Soni commandos were welcome in the community.

A community that was almost entirely present. From Liara's position she could make out nearly two hundred Humans who were attending Shepard's farewell festivities. There were even some individuals that the maiden recognized from their trips to DuBois. She was not surprised to see that neither Maître Marchand, nor Calvin Dahl, the former chair of the Mindoir Foundation, were in attendance.

Shepard had invited almost every family residing in the valley over for dinner over the last three weeks, using the opportunity to gauge the actual tone of the community, not just the one portrayed by those who'd had their sights on Shepard's land. The responses had been tentatively positive when Sarah had explained her goals and plans for the valley. The only exception had been the Collins household. Bobby and his family had decided to depart the valley when Shepard had made it clear that House T'Soni would be take over managing the Shepard farm itself. Sarah had yet to decide what to do with the Collins homestead. There was still enough land available in the valley that most of the residents were content to farm everything they had already claimed, but the land had unique value in being adjacent to the Shepard farm itself.

"Liara!"

The maiden peered into the dust strewn air, raising her hand against the sun as she sought the person who called her name.

It took some time, but her eyes eventually locked on her bondmate, who was waving her arms for Liara's attention. The spectre had changed into shorts and a tank top since the maiden had seen her last, and even from this distance Liara could tell that she was filthy. Her fair skin was covered in beaded sweat everywhere it was exposed, but the sheen and the dirt wasn't enough to prevent Liara from detecting the telltale tinge of an impending radiation burn. _'Goddess, Humans are so fragile,'_ she thought. If Liara wasn't mistaken, there was even dried mud streaked through her hair. Liara was shaking her head even as she stepped down from the deck and walked towards her.

Shepard was surrounded by a combination of running Humans and Asari, kicking up a cloud of dust in their frenzy of activity.

"I wondered when you would come back out," Shepard said as Liara drew close.

The maiden kissed Sarah's cheek in what was likely the cleanest spot. "You grew tired of waiting, and sent Eliata in to get me."

Shepard's expression was unrepentant. "You did say you were only going to be two hours."

Liara chose not to reply, knowing it would do no good to protest. "What are you doing, Shepard?" The maiden indicated the activity that Shepard had separated herself from.

"We're teaching the commandos how to play football!"

"Is that how you got so dirty?"

Shepard looked down at herself, as if realizing her state for the first time. "Probably," she looked up with a smile. "Or maybe when we were down in the ravine."

"Why were you down in the ravine, Shepard?"

"Hey!" Shepard ignored Liara's question as she addressed an Asari off to their left. "Nyave! No biotics!"

"I wasn't using them on the ball," came the remorseless response.

"You can't use them on yourself either. The other team gets a free kick."

"That isn't fair!"

"You know the rules. You just thought I wasn't watching." Sarah turned back to Liara. "Kids, always trying to get away with things. Isn't she a little young? She can't be a hundred and fifty and she's already one of your commandos?"

Liara just shook her head at the incongruity of the statement. "The majority of commandos selected for the garrison are maidens, Shepard. They are somewhat eager to travel, and more willing to accept a posting away from the estate." She looked around, seeing blue faces interspaced throughout the guests. "A few might even end up settling here."

Shepard considered. "Good point. Some of the girls might not appreciate the competition though."

"Only the girls?"

The spectre grinned. "You're right, probably not only the girls." She extended an arm to Liara.

The Asari stepped back, a chastising look on her face. "Not until you clean up Shepard."

"Liaaaaaara…" The commander's tone was as childish as she had accused the commando of being a moment before.

The maiden took the commander by the shoulders and pointed her towards the house. "Go, now. And put some medi-gel on your burn," she added when Shepard tried again to protest.

"Fine." Sarah's tone was one of defeat, but she started towards the house at a run.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Shepard came out of the house at a similarly brisk pace, seeming to begrudge the time it had taken to shower. Still, the approving look on Liara's face made it all worth it. She continued running her fingers through her hair, pushing out all the moisture she could, in lieu of the towel she had chosen to forgo.

She looked out at the dozens of faces turned in her direction. "Please tell me there's still food left," she asked no one in particular.

"Of course there is," came a familiar voice from off to her right. Owen Garner, middle aged farmer, former Alliance lieutenant, and chairman pro tem of the Mindoir Foundation was wearing a dirty apron and holding a spatula. "We've been taking turns on the grill all day." The man indicated in the direction of several picnic tables, indicating one piled with various meats and vegetables. "That is, once you'd let someone else near it."

"Thanks Owen," she thanked the man as she made a beeline for the food. "It isn't that I didn't trust anyone else to do it…"

"It's that you didn't trust anyone else to do it," a chorus of voices interrupted.

"OK, OK. I get it. It's just possible that I might have control issues." The spectre assembled her meal to the sounds of laughter and conversation.

She sat down between Liara and Zelana at one of the long picnic tables, Liara now far more willing to be close to her since her shower. "It looks like we've had a decent turnout," she said in response to the assorted Humans and Asari seated at tables all around her.

"This was a good idea," offered Garner. The colonist had managed the majority of the grilling once Shepard had had released the cooking responsibilities to others. "Lots of folks wanted to spend time with the new neighbors, and once you add the temptation of food, who could resist?"

"I'm not exactly new," responded Shepard around a mouthful of cheeseburger.

"You're not exactly staying, either," retorted the man. "Your dad did a lot for us. You did a lot for us. You're still doing so much for Mindoir, and there's never been any opportunity to thank you."

Shepard glanced down at her wrist, Liara's hand ever so gently wrapping itself around it as she had taken a breath to reply. She turned to her bondmate, saw the understanding there, the compassion. She hadn't had to shake her head to communicate to Sarah that her automatic response would have been an incorrect one. The habitual "I didn't do anything," or "No thanks necessary," were both inappropriate in this case. The spectre wondered what it said about her that she knew such comments were inappropriate, and always had been. What did it mean that she was tempted to hide behind them anyway? Was she growing as a person? Was she a coward? She knew Liara wouldn't agree with her answers to those questions either.

She turned and met Garner's gaze with new intention. "My father was a stubborn man, with a strong sense of morality. All I can do is hope to live up to his example." She felt Liara squeeze her wrist in approval.

"I knew your dad well, Sarah, and your mother. They'd be proud of all you've accomplished, and they'd be delighted about your relationship," he nodded at Liara. "Mostly, they'd have wanted you to be happy."

"Thanks, Owen. That means a lot." Another squeeze.

"I mean it. Neither of them would ever have wanted you to spend your life trying to live up to some unattainable ideal."

"Is that what I'm doing?" Now the pressure on her wrist increased.

"I hope not," Owen's wife Elsie chimed in, seated just beyond him at the table. "But no one would have blamed you Dear, if you left this place without a backward glance."

"Lefevre Valley was my father's dream. I could never leave that behind."

"And how you fund the Foundation? Was that his dream too?" Elsie was smiling, but the question was serious.

"Someone had to do something. The Alliance wasn't interested. No one seemed to be doing anything here." Several heads turned away, but Elsie met Shepard's glare without discomfort.

"You're right. There weren't very many people who were stepping in to help. That didn't mean that you had to."

"Of course I did. Once I was old enough to control the trust, I had the means. There were plans, they just lacked funding." She waved her free arm, taking in the entirety of the valley, and the party going on around them. "I didn't need the money. Besides, I wasn't going to be here."

Elsie's smile grew. "So you made sure that things would be taken care of in your absence, your way. You're right, you do have control issues." Her tone was light, but the words were serious even as they were supportive.

"That's not what I was doing," Sarah replied through a deepening frown.

"Yes, Dear, you were. You've taken personal responsibility for the well being of Mindoir in general, and the residents of your father's valley specifically. I hope you realize that you assumed that obligation because you're truly a good person, not because anyone expected it of you."

Shepard turned to Liara, as if for defense. "I hope that you do not expect me to argue on the side of you not being a good person," the Asari at her side said with a smile.

"Fine!" Shepard huffed with an air of exasperation. "I'm a good person. Is everyone happy now?"

"You won't get an argument from me," replied a teen boy passing behind her. "Anyone who can make cookies like this is great." He was carrying several.

"Those aren't mine," Shepard didn't have to turn to look. She'd been relieved of baking duties even earlier than she'd been removed from the grill. "I taught Anedra. She taught Deneru. I don't know how many people Deneru taught, but the kitchen's been full of maidens for almost two weeks, since the commandos arrived." Liara had assisted her through a particularly emotional, memory-filled afternoon, but otherwise Shepard had enjoyed that the house had been filled with the smells of her mother's recipes.

"Speaking of your 'commandos'," Owen rejoined the conversation, "They are still staying, yes? That hasn't changed?" The valley had been a place of rapid change over the last two weeks.

Shepard deferred to Liara, as Garner had seemingly posed the question to her.

"There will be many members of the House remaining, Mr. Garner, not just commandos. But to answer your question, yes, there will be a garrison. They have been tasked with protecting the valley, as well as upgrading and maintaining the defenses that Shepard originally placed here seven years ago."

"So we won't have to worry about shooting each other down anymore?" Garner seemed to be only partially joking.

"The automation will remain in place, but now the overrides will be in the hands of trained personnel," Shepard reassured him with a smile.

"That's good. I know the thing is nearly foolproof, but I also hate having to worry if I'm going get shot down if someone gets nervous while I'm running to DuBois." He turned to his wife. "Or maybe because someone's annoyed with me."

"You should be fine. Eliata assures me that the system will be safer than ever, and I trust her team." The matron nodded her acknowledgement to Shepard from her place beyond Zelana. "Many of the upgrades would only be necessary if we weren't going to be leaving staff behind, but since we are, everything should be doubly secure."

"And the rest of the staff?" Owen again directed his question to Liara. "Over dinner last week you'd only mentioned the garrison. Who else is staying?"

"As Shepard mentioned earlier, it is customary for any residence of the family to maintain some personnel."

"Asari custom," Sarah added with a smile.

"I knew what she meant," Owen chuckled.

"Although you and Elsie now hold Shepard's letter of attorney for any instances where the matter of species might be an issue, Shepard desired that the homestead remain a working farm." She waited for the nods before continuing. "As the Collins family had always worked the farm before, and with their departure from the valley, we decided to operate the farm ourselves. The additional House members remaining on Mindoir will perform that function."

"I can't say I've ever imagined an Asari farmer."

"You don't have to imagine. There's one right here." Penora, one of the recent arrivals, chimed in from further down the table. "I've grown crops on eight different worlds. Usually I have to start from scratch, clearing the land, drilling wells, fighting off local wildlife. I don't think that maintaining a working farm will be all that difficult." She looked around the homestead. "And mature orchards? So long as we have enough water, those might just be the easiest crops I've ever managed."

"Were you a farmer on Thessia?" Elsie drew her further into the conversation.

"No, Mrs. Garner. I was working as a structural engineer for House T'Soni. When this opportunity came up, I volunteered. It'll be nice to work the soil again. I've always loved growing things."

"Then why did you stop?"

"I had grown tired of it, but it's been a few hundred years. I was ready to go back."

Silence fell across the group at the comment.

"Penora is an experienced agriculturalist, and I was glad that she was available," Sarah pushed the flagging conversation along with her statement.

"Anyone with that much experience will be a valuable addition to the community," Owen added graciously.

"We would be happy to provide any assistance that we can," Penora replied. "But I was given to understand that the farms in the region are all productive, with healthy crops."

"They are," another adult joined the conversation, a man about five years older than Shepard. He seated himself at the table next to Penora before continuing. "But we'd be stupid not to take all the help we can get." He looked around the table, a combination of agreement and dissent on the faces that looked back at him. "Humans are a stubborn bunch, but some of us need to remember that we've only been growing things off Earth for a hundred years, and out of the Sol system for less than thirty." He turned to Penora. "It's a cliché, but you've probably forgotten more about agriculture than I'd hope to learn in my lifetime."

"That's flattering," replied the matron, "and as much as I'd like to live up to that, each world is different. You're already here, and that means you've got an advantage on me, Mr…" she trailed off.

"Douglas. Peter Douglas."

"Pete farms the land just to the North," added Shepard around a mouthful of her second cheeseburger.

"As I said, you have an advantage on me, Mr. Douglas," Penora continued. "It takes many seasons to learn the ways of a region, let alone a world. I'll be learning as much from you as you are from us. I've never grown Terran crops before."

"I've never grown anything else. I might like to try growing something we can sell outside the Alliance."

"We have seeds for several Thessian crops, as well as those from a number of other worlds. I didn't know if there would be any use for them here, but I thought it best to be prepared."

"And they'll all grow in this environment?"

"Quite well, actually. I selected crops with this climate in mind."

"I'd love to know some of your methods, when opportunity presents itself."

"I have published several works, I welcome the chance to discuss how their principles could be applied on Mindoir."

"You've written _books_ about farming?"

The matron seemed hesitant for the first time. "Only a few. Is it uncommon to publish one's works among Humans?"

"Well, no. Not in all cases, anyway." He paused as if making a decision. "Could I get a copy?"

Penora immediately brightened. "Yes! I brought some with me." She rose to her feet. "Unless you didn't mean now."

Douglas rose as well. "Sure. I wouldn't mind seeing what an Asari would write about farming."

The matron took her leave and made her way towards the house, the Human in tow while Shepard watched with no small amusement.

"See what I mean Liara?" Said the commander in a stage whisper while she elbowed her bondmate. "The girls aren't going to appreciate the competition."

"I thought you would be pleasantly surprised at how well everyone is getting along. As I recall, you were worried about the anti-alien sentiment we encountered when we arrived." The maiden had maintained some awareness of the conversation while having gone back to a conversation with Owen and Elsie Garner. "And you have a dirty mind, Shepard. They are going to discuss farming."

"That may be," agreed Sarah with a smile, "I don't know about farming, but there's a seed being planted between those two." She wiggled her eyebrows. "And I was only worried until we found out that Bobby was the one stirring up the majority of the pro-Human bias we encountered. He seemed to think that farming my dad's land made him heir apparent around here or some shit." She nodded in the direction Penora and Douglas has gone, "I still want us to farm the Shepard homestead, but with Bobby gone, maybe we could turn the land he was on over to those two so they can experiment with Thessian techniques."

"Are you still talking about farming?"

Sarah just wiggled her eyebrows again.

Liara sighed.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Oramonc had long since dipped below the horizon, but the gathering was showing no signs of winding down. Liara wondered if the number of Asari might be a contributing factor. They needed less sleep, and tended to take a long view of events, allowing them to conclude naturally instead of at a predetermined time.

The pace and tone had changed somewhat. There was no longer any frenzied activity. The party was distributed nearly equally inside and outside, although heaters had been deployed on the porch to ward off any impending chill. The majority of guests were engaged in conversation over coffee, tea, or alcohol. Some had secluded themselves, seeking intimacy in pairs. Liara hoped that such liaisons would serve to cement their place in the valley as opposed to harming it.

The maiden noticed that several bottles of elasa had been opened. She imagined that few Humans who tried it would be able to refuse the sweet wine's flavor, nor withstand it's soporific effect. She resisted the temptation to point out that some guests would be in no condition to return home tonight. There was no need. Her people knew their jobs. Any reminders on her part would be based on her own insecurities, not her staff's ability.

She and Shepard walked casually from one group to another. Offering conversation and accepting compliments. They worked the crowd as she had seen Benezia do so many times while growing up. The irony of this moment was not lost on the maiden. In any other time, House T'Soni would have hosted any number of soirees, galas, and receptions by now. Each tailored to a different group or need, all allowing the formal introduction of the new T'Soni patron to the Armali social landscape. Instead of occupying one of the estate ballrooms, Liara's major first social event was on a Human farm, outdoors, in the dirt. Where her guests might have been expected to be matriarchs, politicians, and heads of state, instead they were farmers and soldiers.

Still, there was no doubt that although this was Shepard's home and Shepard's people, this was Liara's event. It was her planning and execution that had allowed it to occur. It was her intervention that had prevented any negative consequence, and it was she that the guests had greeted and then expressed praise and flattery to. Even when someone wanted to speak to Sarah, they subtly signaled their intent to Liara before doing so. It seemed that the maiden had been embraced in a role similar to lady of the house, even if being repeatedly referred to as "Mrs. Shepard" hadn't been enough of an indication.

Finally even Shepard tired of talking to her neighbors, and to members of the House. The pair moved to the front deck, and the starlit view they'd shared their first night on Mindoir. This time however, the porch swing was occupied, and Shepard crashed down to sit on the topmost step. After a moment the commander pulled Liara down to sit on the steps beside her.

"You did an fantastic job with this," she kissed Liara on the cheek. "I was sure there'd be shooting."

"The fact that Asari huntresses are renowned for their aim can sometimes prevent incidents from occurring before they have a chance to begin," Liara replied playfully.

"Be that as it may, we'll be leaving things in better condition than I ever hoped."

"Do you still want to leave tomorrow evening as planned?" The Human had ceased expressing her desire to leave Mindoir nearly a week prior.

"I do. I think we're done here, and even if we weren't, we have work to do on Thessia."

Liara nodded in agreement as she leaned against Shepard. "It will be good to be home, even if for a short while."

Sarah put her arm around the Asari and pulled her close, nuzzling her crest when the maiden put her head on the spectre's shoulder. "It will definitely be good to be home."

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

"Are you coming to bed, Shepard?"

"Eventually."

Zelana ignored the conversation going on beside her with an ease granted by recent practice. If she was still adjusting to Liara's style of running House T'Soni, that was nothing to the complexity of interacting with Sarah. The Human was a constant surprise. Zelana had expected that the spectre would either ignore the members of the House completely, or attempt to direct them like minions. Instead it was not unusual to find her helping out in the kitchen, assisting Liara with the delegation of House T'Soni tasks, or just standing in a hatchway with her ever-present cup of coffee, waiting for an opportunity to ask some personal question or other. After their journey to Mindoir, the pilot was sure that Shepard knew more about her than Benezia ever had.

"We are still hours from the relay. Are you planning to stay in the cockpit, or come to our cabin?" Liara gently ran her fingers across Shepard's shoulders, causing the commander to shudder lightly in the copilot's flight couch.

"I won't be up all night."

' _She's evading the question,'_ thought Liara. "What are you waiting for?" This time Liara asked directly, hoping for an explanation instead of deflection.

"Well, I've never seen the Oramonc relay. I thought this might be the night, but you're right. I probably don't want to stay up that late."

Liara squatted down next to Shepard, making eye contact. "And?" It was so difficult to get Sarah to reveal her emotions.

The spectre's asymmetrical smile appeared, the one she always used to hide her true feelings. "I grew up here, right? This is only the third time I've left." She paused to make certain of Liara's understanding. "I was unconscious the first time. I didn't wake up until Arcturus. The second time I was so drunk that I might as well have been. Bobby, Calvin. I didn't ever want to see them again. I didn't want to see Mindoir again." She looked down as Liara took her hand. "I was never coming back, you know? I never intended to come back."

"And that was why you did so much for the Foundation, for the residents of the valley. To compensate for the fact that you were never going to return."

The faraway look in Shepard eyes cleared as her wandering attention snapped to Liara with a laser focus. "You knew?"

"Of course I knew, Shepard. You hold yourself responsible for occurrences outside your control, carry guilt for things you never should. Then you work to repay debts you did not incur."

"It's never enough."

"For Commander Shepard? It never would be. Perhaps it could be enough for my bondmate, Sarah. Possibly if we worked together?"

"I was angry at you for making me come here." Sarah's voice was flat.

Liara nodded. "I know."

"But I'm glad I came. I'm glad you made me come. I think I needed this." She turned away from the maiden. "Isn't that a kick in the quad? All life in the galaxy might be coming to an end, but I needed to take time out to face my past."

"You are not a machine. You are a Human woman, and as such, despite what you would prefer to believe, are influenced by the sum of your experiences." Liara turned Shepard back to face her, "Might I remind you that not all of your experiences are negative." The Asari leaned forward for a gentle kiss and felt Shepard smile against her lips.

"I think I'm ready for bed now."

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Again, Shepard was jerked back to consciousness.

Cortical stimulation was barely enough to pull her from her memories this time. She took a deep breath to help ease the pain in her head, but felt no relief even as she sensed herself begin to hyperventilate. She wasn't in vacuum then, but her HUD confirmed that her body already told her. Oxygen levels were near zero. Her CO2 scrubbers were still working, but the atmosphere in her hardsuit was almost exclusively nitrogen by this point.

' _At least I won't die choking,'_ she thought grimly. The light headedness she experienced before was already on the verge of claiming her again.

Fighting her way through the encroaching darkness, she again located the debris that had once been her ship, a small formation of escape pods moving away from it, and her.

She focused on one, certain in her knowledge that it held one specific passenger. She could _feel_ it, even as she found it difficult to feel anything else.

She closed her eyes, wondering if that passenger could feel her too.

' _Liara…'_

* * *

A/N: Assumptions here include:

FemShep/Liara  
Post ME1 ending - after the Battle of the Citadel, before beginning of ME2

Shepard is:  
Colonist / Vanguard / War Hero

As always, feedback is welcome and desired.


	21. Training

And we're finally back to Thessia for those have been waiting patiently for so long!

It's been a while since we've been here, and we don't actually see a great deal of it in chapter 21, but for those who have forgotten the names of various characters not seen since Obligations, there is a dramatis personae on my profile page that I will also be updating with new definitions.

* * *

Liara sat as primly, as per her station.

She was trying to, at any rate. There were complications.

There were a pair of datapads balanced precariously on her lap while she made notes on a third. The chair upon which she perched was strong and unyielding, as it was an object designed for durability and not for comfort. There were better accommodations above, but that would have put the maiden too far from the action. All in all, the sparring arena was an awkward place to hold court. She accepted the fact, and chose to do so anyway. Anything that would allow her to be close to Shepard.

Still, she made every effort to present herself as a Head of House should. Her dress was a formal one. Red and black, colors that she normally associated with Shepard, but on a dress that Shepard herself had shown appreciation for during their first visit to Thessia. She wore a matching diadem, and the T'Soni sigil was proudly on display, hanging from the loose chain around her neck. Her back was straight, her body positioned in such a way as to make the most of the flattering lines of her outfit. The stiffness she felt in her back and shoulders were another inconvenience, but Shepard would later help with those too.

There was a cup of tea positioned perilously on the seat next to her. As she reached for it she felt one of her datapads start to slip from her lap. She quickly adjusted, overcompensating, and causing the adjacent pad to slide in the other direction. Just as she was about to be forced to choose between one of the pads and her tea, a swift arm came to her rescue, snatching the sliding pad just before it reached the point of no return.

"Allow me, Peeress," came the voice at her left shoulder.

She nodded her gratitude as she returned the tea to its hazardous location. "Thank you, Iryra." The maiden truly was thankful. Shattering a datapad would have been no great loss, but Shepard would no doubt have teased her about it well into the evening. While the rest of the crew of the Normandy was unavailable, Liara had often become a recipient of Shepard's provocative humor. She had found herself learning to counter in kind, purely in self defense. It was fortunate that the commandos responded so well to Shepard's pestering style of team building. The spectre tended to prefer to tease those who would give just as much in return.

She affixed her ident code to the pad in her hand, and passed it to Iryra, exchanging it for the one the matron held. "Please see that this is presented to Matriarch Nagala. I have approved her selections to the advisory board of Panya and Associates."

A maiden peeled herself away from the wall behind them at a motion from Iryra, taking the pad and leaving without saying a word. "It will be to the barrister within the hour Peeress," the matron signaled her confirmation of Liara's request with a bow of her head.

Liara was about to review the next day's schedule when both Asari were startled by a resounding crash. A particularly powerful throw against the kinetic barrier separating the spectators from the arena nearly startling the young doctor into dropping another datapad. Liara didn't have to follow the dissipating biotic trail to its source to know that it had come from the mischievous spectre.

"Shepard!" One of the commandos called. At the commander's insistence, none called her 'Peeress' in the arena. "You could have put the _lume_ through the barrier!" Technically, anything with mass would be considered a _lume_ \- an object acted upon by a biotic field. In the arena _lumes_ were heavy but pliant, perhaps twice the size of a soccer ball and designed to incapacitate an opponent without injuring them. Sarah had initially referred to them as medicine balls until she'd given up in the face of confusing mistranslation.

"Nah," she retorted with a chuckle. "I pulled it. I just wanted to remind Liara that I was here."

"As if I could forget, Shepard." Liara refused to rise to the bait, but couldn't resist throwing out some of her own as she called out to the commander on the arena floor. "I have been hearing those hit you all afternoon." Not true of course, but the maiden knew it would cause Shepard to put on a good show for the next few minutes.

The look she received from the spectre was not one of love. "Are you kidding?" The commander flexed to show off her muscles. "I'm doing great. They've hardly touched me."

"Then why is the score tied?" Liara had risked a surreptitious glance at the score even as the _kritis_ nodded a confirmation. It wouldn't do to let Shepard know she hadn't been paying close attention, at least not now. "At nine points apiece it looks like you are also one fall away from losing, not just winning."

The voices of the crowd around her bubbled up in a combination of both support and derision. Shepard had begun training with the commandos almost with their arrival on Thessia. The Human was popular with many members of the House, and the longer she was there, the more of them that seemed to find themselves available to watch the commander's sparring matches. There were currently hundreds of commandos and other staff in the stands. Out of respect for Liara's need to work they gave the maiden a wide berth as they did so. That didn't prevent as many as were able from listening to the interplay between the doctor and the commander.

The pair had fallen into a routine over the last few weeks. Early to rise, followed by travel to Armali, Serrice, Dassus, or wherever their presence was required that day. Early on their visits had been in the company of Stallura, as she brought Liara and Shepard up to speed on the progress being made in building up a stockpile of ships and munitions. In some cases there were decisions to be made or obstacles to overcome. In others, the visits were more political in nature, allowing the patricians of House T'Soni to meet with members of the provincial governments or regional captains of industry. In any event, a visit by the Hero of the Citadel was often welcome, and had the effect of clearing bureaucratic obstacles that had heretofore proven insurmountable. As Shepard became more comfortable with her role and status, Stallura and the duo would divide and conquer, each addressing the issues they were best equipped for. Recently, Liara and Sarah had started splitting up as well, allowing them to attack outstanding problems on three fronts. No matter the issue of the day, they had always returned in time for Shepard to spar with the house guard. Liara had spent more time in the arena over the last five weeks than she had since her own biotics training as a child.

Liara's teasing had the desired effect. Shepard glanced over her shoulder. "Teseka," she cocked her head at Eliata as she jerked her thumb in the matron's direction, "You're on their team this round. We're going three on one."

"The rules are the same Shepard," Eliata chimed in. "An entire team needs to yield or be incapacitated. You'll need to render all three of us harmless to score the winning point."

"Yeah, yeah, I got it." Shepard waved the trio towards their end of the arena even as she backed away from Liara. "I'm going to want something if I win."

"If you win?" Liara put a disbelieving lilt in her voice. "What has happened to the confident Commander I thought I knew?"

"Don't worry, I'm just stretching it out. This is only going to take a second, but I want to make it seem more impressive." Shepard's smile was a combination of cocky and playful that left the maiden beguiled.

Liara cocked her head at Sarah as she broke into a grin. "In that case, I promise anything within my power to provide."

"See? That wasn't so hard. I'm definitely going to win now." She collected three _lumes_ from the sideline before she jogged to her opening position.

Liara started intently after the Human, her work forgotten for the moment. It would be interesting to see what strategy her derisive banter would produce. Shepard was skilled with biotics, firearms, and melee weapons. However, her opponents were as well, and by adding the extra difficulty of a third opponent, she was facing well over five hundred years of combat experience. Despite that, Shepard seemed more confident than she had been all day. In fact, the spectre had almost seemed excited at having been called out. Liara was beginning to suspect that the commander had been holding back during her sparring matches.

Shepard turned to face off against the opposing team. Eliata, Anedra, and Teseka had each collected a _lume_ , and were positioned near the far wall of the thirty meter long arena floor. Shepard had chosen a more forward position, halfway between her wall and the arena's midpoint. Liara wondered if the commander would lead with an immediate assault when the _kritis_ opened the round, or if she would wait for her opponents to commit first. Shepard seemed relaxed and at the ready, and the smile on her face was almost serene. _'She will wait for them to act first,'_ decided Liara. _'She is far too relaxed. She is planning something. No,'_ she amended, _'She_ hasbeen _planning something._ _'_ Liara suddenly found herself anxious on behalf of her commandos.

Shepard was nonchalantly swinging her foot while she waited for the _kritis_ to start the round. The orange robed matron waited patiently from where she waited on the sideline opposite Liara. Once the murmur of the crowd dropped to near silence, the matron turned to the commandos, where Eliata nodded their readiness. She turned to Shepard, who nodded hers as well. With that, the _kritis_ dropped her _archi_ , a red cloth whose contact with the floor of the arena signaled the beginning of the contest.

None of the participants in the arena watched the archi fall. Five weeks had taught Shepard exactly how long it would take to reach the floor, and the opposing commandos had had far longer to gain such knowledge. The crowd leaned forward in their seats to watch…

Nothing.

Both sides waited for the other to make the first move. Both sides waited for a weakness to exploit. The commandos had the least risk in attacking first. With three combatants they could keep two in reserve until Shepard's strategy had been revealed. Eliata must have noticed the same thing she had, Liara considered, as despite her advantage, the matron seemed unwilling to commit any of her assets. She too had seen how relaxed Shepard had been at the prospect of facing three opponents, and knew that meant nothing good for her team.

They were nearly thirty seconds into the round. Shepard was moving now, shifting her weight from side to side, one foot to the other. She held her three _lumes_ close to her chest as her eyes swept back and forth across her opponents, still waiting for a commitment. The voices of the crowd started to rise around them. Not the yells one would expect from a Human crowd, but the sound of discussions being held across hundreds of Asari, each trying to discern the spectre's tactic.

Finally she stoped her swaying, and without leaving her position, leaned forward as if bracing to throw. The perceived engagement was too much for Teseka, who fired her _lume_ at the Human. Anedra and Eliata did the same a split second later, even as they stepped apart from each other to offer the widest possible target for Shepard to engage.

The spectre retaliated by blasting all three of her lumes at Teseka. The first deflected Teseka's sphere, while the other two barreled through to collide with the maiden, knocking her off her feet and out of the round before she could react. The other two lumes arrived an instant later. Shepard sidestepped Eliata's as she rebounded Anedra's back at her with a barrier. When Anedra erected a barrier in return, Shepard started sprinting towards her while throwing a series of rapid throws at Eliata, one after the other. Each throw arced a little further out before turning back in to target the matron, eventually coming at Eliata from the opposite direction entirely. As soon as Eliata took her eyes off Shepard to defend herself against the throws, Shepard executed a biotic charge at the wall behind Anedra, blowing her off her feet as the commander accelerated through the space the maiden occupied. As the charge dissipated, Shepard remained outlined in biotic blue as she spun to meet the padded wall feet first, pushing off and up as Eliata turned back to Shepard as the last throw dissipated.

This left the matron undefended as the spectre landed behind Eliata with her pistol drawn, holding it level with the Asari's crest. She primed the heat sink for effect.

Eliata tensed, then relaxed. "I yield," came the calm acknowledgement of Shepard's victory. The engagement had taken less than ten seconds.

"Don't feel bad," Shepard raising her voice to overcome the increasing noise of the crowd. The spectre grinned as she indicated the open mouthed Liara now standing by her seat. "I was motivated."

Anedra and Teseka moved to join Eliata at Shepard's side. "You never moved like that when we were fighting as a team," said Teseka accusingly.

Shepard was unrepentant. "It's hard to fight like that unless you're fighting alone. I don't care how long a team fights together, an individual is always better able to coordinate an attack than a group."

"How were you able to fire so many throws without a cooldown?" Eliata got to the heart of the matter. "You're powerful for a Human, but you're not THAT powerful."

Shepard chuckled as they started back towards the sideline, and Liara. "What makes you think I was trying to take you down with throws? Those were just a distraction, a light show. If you let one hit you, you probably wouldn't even had felt it. I just needed you looking the other way."

"Risky move Commander," replied the captain as they reached the sideline. "What if I'd missed one?"

"That's why I used that tactic on you. You have the strongest barrier. I knew you wouldn't." She nodded at the others. "Anedra's barriers are weak, but she's fast. She'd have avoided anything but a charge. Teseka would never trust me enough to turn her back on me no matter what I was doing."

"And the pistol? You haven't used weapons in the arena since you've been here."

"Which is why I pulled it out. If your opponent expects biotics, you give them weapons. If they expect weapons, you give them melee. If they expect you to run, stand your ground. Never leave your opponent knowing what you're going to do." Shepard's expression took on the nostalgic look of a distant memory. "That's what Poena always said."

Conversation in their immediate vicinity dropped to nothing. Liara stepped up to the barrier.

"That is what _who_ always said?" Liara's tone expressed incredulousness.

"Poena. Poena Agantos. She was my biotics teacher." Shepard put her foot against the wall as she began doing stretches to cool down.

At a nod from Liara, the kinetic barriers were lowered, and the maiden stepped down onto the arena floor. "Shepard, Poena Agantos is a mercenary. A solitary, unprincipled soldier of fortune. She is one of the most infamous warriors in the Republics." She gave the spectre an accusing glare. "How do you explain that she was your biotics teacher? "

Sarah picked up one of the cooling towels that the commandos were wrapping around their crests, and draped it across her shoulders. "What do you mean how? She just showed up. The Alliance had turned to Asari instructors after using Turians pretty much destroyed the BAaT program. She was one of them." She looked around at the sea of skeptical blue faces. "Honestly. She's who they brought in to tutor me." She shrugged as she sat in one of the chairs lining the arena wall, reaching for her shoes. "I was kind of a special case. Lots of those kids were only potentials. Some had manifested their biotics, but they'd had issues with the L2 implants. Others had emotional problems from being separated from their families." She looked away from Liara, "I'd not only used my biotics, I'd killed with them. A mercenary probably sounded just about right."

Liara pulled a chair next to the commander and sat down, taking Shepard's hand. "I know, but that was not what I meant. Believe me when I tell you that the Alliance would never have been able to hire Poena Agantos. She goes where she will, does what she chooses. She accepts no job that does not include copious amounts of violence and credits. She is notorious for it."

"Well, I don't know how they did it, but they did. She tutored me for just over a year and a half. I've tried to contact her a few times since then, but she's never responded."

Liara looked relieved. "I would hope not, Shepard. Poena is the worst kind of trouble. I am still amazed that she agreed to teach a Human child."

"I don't think she wanted to be there, at least not originally." Shepard looked up, realizing suddenly that her audience had swelled from a handful of commandos to several dozen. "Is this really that big a deal? I do know that she's a mercenary, but I only found that out later. C'mon. I was a kid. I just knew her as Poena," she paused, "or Kyrios."

"Kyrios," Eliata interjected, "You addressed her as Kyrios?"

Shepard looked up in surprise. "Not originally, but after I mastered the basics and we started actually doing real training together, she started calling me voulos, and told me to call her kyrios.

"She did not tutor you Shepard," Eliata responded. "Do you know what those words mean?"

"Sure. They mean 'student' and 'wise one'." There was a murmur from the crowd at that.

Liara rejoined the conversation. "By definition, yes Shepard. That is how those would likely translate into Standard, but again without context. As a method of address, a closer translation would be 'master' and 'apprentice'."

"You apprenticed with one of the most disreputable biotic fighters alive today, Shepard," Eliata concluded. "How did this come about?"

"Well, starting off with her beating the crap out of me, for one thing."

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Poena stepped through hatch of the Alliance transport and into the gangway leading onto the station.

She nodded to the Alliance lieutenant who had been discretely providing escort from a few meters away. She had allowed him to pass through the hatch first, not being one to casually allow someone at her back. She considered the man to be an unnecessary encumbrance. However, the captain had insisted upon the escort after she shattered the arm of a human passenger. The man had deserved it, having attempted to take liberties. She had elected to allow the captain this imposition as a favor. It allowed the captain to attempt to calm the nervousness of the other passengers.

She took a few more steps down the gangway, moving in sync with the queue. Fortunately she did not need to stand closely to the Humans around her. Even without the boorish behavior she'd encountered during the transit from the Citadel, she had not formed a positive opinion of this insolent race. Still, they seemed able to learn. Despite she crushing mass of bodies both ahead and behind her, she was allowed plenty of room by her fellow passengers. The only Human standing within five meters of her was Lieutenant Phillips, and he did not seem to be impressed with the honor. He at least appeared to understand that he would be unable to subdue her unless she so desired. He had been unfailingly polite, even offering feedback about how other Humans might perceive certain of her behaviors. It amused her that the lieutenant believed that she cared if she offended anyone. She was here to pay a debt, nothing more. Left to her own devices she would have given these Humans a wide berth, certainly never traveling to their seat of government. They were vulgar, uncivilized.

After a few moment's wait, the queue advanced again, taking her a few steps closer to the soldier who was authorizing entrance into Arcturus Station. Several minutes later she found herself face to face with the man, peering up at him as he looked her up and down.

"Name and identification?" The man finally asked, after giving her nearly a minute to make the first move, despite the impatient shifting of the others behind her in line.

"Poena Agantos," the Asari identified herself as she brought up her credentials on her omni-tool. "Agent of the Citadel Council."

The soldier leaned a little too close for Poena's liking as he transferred a copy of her documentation from her omni to his. She held a response in check as he squinted at the readout. "Special Envoy? What's that supposed to be? Are you a diplomat or something?" He picked up a datapad from his podium, scrolling through names. "You aren't on the embassy's list."

She gave no outward expression of her thoughts in regard to the intelligence of this Human. "That's because I'm a Council agent. You're looking at a list from the Asari embassy." She waited for him to make the connection, but he just stared back blankly. "I'm not with the embassy," she finally clarified, when no response seemed forthcoming.

That triggered a response. "I'll have to send this to my superiors." He turned to his console.

Phillips stepped forward just as her impatience threatened to boil over into anger. "Wait." He pulled up another document. "She has approval from FADM, Sixth Fleet."

The man leaned towards Philips this time, and again was oblivious to the fact that only her allegiance to others was what kept her from knocking him across the room. "This is an authorization from Admiral Collins." He met Poena's gaze. "Why didn't you show me that earlier?" There was accusation in his tone.

Her response was impassive. "Because I shouldn't have had to. As my credentials indicated, I am an agent of the Council." _'At least I am today,'_ she amended to herself. "Humanity is an associate race to the Citadel Council, are they not?"

"Council doesn't hold much weight on Arcturus, lady," he leered as he spoke. "But Naughty Unicorn is always looking for dancers. They're on sub-level eight. I hear they pay Asari a premium."

Yet again she held back, choosing not to separate the Human's head from his shoulders. She did allow her biotics to flare around her hand as she held it before him. "Can I go?" She played on humanity's well known distrust of biotics as he suddenly became very focused in passing her through the security checkpoint. _'Ignorant Human.'_ She thought has he uneasily waved her through. She nodded to Philips as she stepped away from the podium, acknowledging that he had done nothing to interfere with any action she might have taken against the other soldier. _'Perhaps they aren't all ignorant,'_ she conceded. Anywhere else, and her name alone would have been enough to instill respect. At the very least her well worn commando leathers would have been to garner a modicum of trepidation from anyone who laid eyes upon her. Philips' return nod had been enough to convey that at least _he_ knew the score.

She didn't spare the Humans a backward glance as she made her way from the docks to the station proper.

Stepping out onto the primary mezzanine of the station left the matron singularly unimpressed. She had looked forward to be able to see the stars again. The tight enclosure of the Human ship that had brought her here from Widow had been short on creature comforts, including passenger viewports. She could make out the system's primary of course, but the constellations visible to her were blurry and twisted. Any construct of this size and type would normally be open to space, with nothing but an energy barrier between the occupants and the stars to hold the atmosphere in. Humans used such she knew, and in fact she could see the occasional wisp of energy that indicated a mass effect field was present. In this case that field was on the other side of some kind of transparent physical barricade that arched over the ring of the station's torus. Although mostly clear, the curve of the barrier distorted what lay beyond. These Humans apparently didn't trust their own engineering enough to allow for the view that a decent habitat should have. On the other hand, she remembered from her research into her destination while she was en route, the design of the station predated first contact with galactic civilization by a hundred and eighty five years. She supposed she should consider herself lucky that the structure the Humans referred to as a "Stanford Torus" wasn't being spun for gravity.

The mezzanine was crowded, and she allowed the pedestrian flow to take her where it would. She was on no particular timetable, and expected to remain here for some time. She had seen Humans before of course, but it was disconcerting to see so many in one place. No, she considered, what was disconcerting to see so few Asari in one place. She couldn't come close to remembering all of the planets and habitats she had been to in her travels, but even those where Asari had been in the minority, they had been a significant minority. As she gazed across this sea of humanity, she counted only five other blue faces out of the hundreds of Humans in view.

A few hours of aimless wandering did nothing to improve her mood, or her opinion the upstart Humans. She had boots older than this station. A station that even with its soothing coloring and tree lined passages, assaulted her senses with the smells of metal and sweat. The humans were rude and dirty. Their food lacked the subtle nuances of the fare she was accustomed to, instead relying on an overpowering array spices and flavorings. The personal compartments she'd broken into displayed a disheartening lack of creature comforts as well. _'Two years,'_ she thought. _'At most, two years,'_ she further reassured herself. _'I can withstand two years of anything.'_

It was mid afternoon when she finally approached her destination. A nondescript door at the end of a nondescript hallway, nowhere near the part of the station that was associated with the Alliance military. A door behind which might very well lie humanity's greatest treasure.

' _Or not,'_ she thought, as she hacked the lock.

The hallway beyond was empty, as was the next beyond that. She stopped in front of the third unmarked door she encountered, and used her omni-tool to let herself in.

There were three people in the room. Humans, but that wasn't a surprise. One was male, and all three were looking through a window on one side of the room into a classroom full of Human children who were being lectured by an Asari instructor.

Poena stepped further into the room, waiting to be challenged, or at least acknowledged. The three were discussing the progress the children had made so far. From what Poena could see from her vantage point, there wasn't enough progress to be considered worthy of discussion. Several children were sitting on the floor, in front of toys and other common items. Others were standing, arms extended in various directions as they concentrated. Some held their hands close together, in a position Poena knew well, as they tried to manifest a meditation orb. The matron shook her head. Out of nineteen students, only four even managed to muster a discernible biotic field. "Pathetic," she muttered under her breath.

Anderson turned at the sound, from the look on his face Poena could tell that he had been unsurprisingly expecting someone other than her. Despite how long it had taken to react to her presence, his sidearm was in his hand and pointed at her face with a speed that impressed the commando.

"You've got five seconds to tell me who you are and what you're doing here," growled the Human in a voice that Poena assumed was meant to intimidate.

"Poena Agantos. I'm here to correct your mistake."

The pistol didn't waver, and again the matron was impressed. "Not good enough."

She nodded, indicating the classroom behind the Human. "Alethea's one of the best, and you were lucky to get her. But she's used to teaching students over a span of decades. You don't have that kind of time." She sidestepped the Human as she walked up to the glass, ignoring the pistol that remained leveled at her head. "The boy in the blue jumper? Send him home, he's terrified. He's more afraid that he'll succeed than of anything you'll do to him if he fails. The boy next to him? He hasn't been able to focus on one thing for longer than fifteen seconds the entire time I've been watching. You need to teach him discipline before he can learn the concentration required to control his biotics." Slowly, she pointed to the girl in the corner, her objective. She was sitting with her face turned towards the wall. "She's the biggest problem of them all. If you don't fix her soon, you're going to lose her."

Anger punctuated the man's response. "I don't know who the hell you think you are, but…"

Without turning around, Poena activated her omni, and passed several documents to Anderson. "I'm here at the request of the Council, with the permission of your own Admiral Collins. You have a problem. I make problems go away."

The matron didn't need to look at the man to know his weapon was no longer trained on her head. The sounds of his movement told her everything she needed to know. By now he would have read her Council authority, the authorization from the Systems Alliance, and would just be starting on the personal note from Admiral Collins.

o.o.o.o.o

Anderson,

Give her anything she wants. The kid's too public.

With the collapse of BAaT, the Council's been pressuring the Alliance to prove that we won't have another Jump Zero on our hands, not with such a powerful biotic.

I know you think Shepard needs more time. I might even agree, but this is out of our hands now.

\- Collins

o.o.o.o.o

Poena turned and exited the room, pivoting on her heel and back down the hallway. The next door she reached was unlocked, and she entered without preamble.

To say the matriarch exuded shock would be an understatement. Poena raised a hand before Alethea could speak. "My apologies, Matriarch," she nodded respectfully, "I need the room."

Alethea's eyes narrowed as she cast a surreptitious glance in Shepard's direction that did not go unnoticed by the mercenary. Poena simply nodded, answering the matriarch's unasked question.

The elder Asari turned to address her students. "Class is adjourned. I recommend that all of you use this extra time to apply yourselves to your traditional studies. Biotics training is a supplement to your regular education, not a replacement for it. Lieutenant Harris has conveyed her concern that several of you are not applying yourselves in nonlinear dynamics. If extra study time is required in the future, it will come from your free periods." The matriarch turned back to Poena, holding her gaze while the students returned their various implements to their storage compartments, then shuffled out the door.

Her target didn't rise until most of the class had already left, making Poena's job easier. "Take care," warned the matriarch before turning to follow the last of the other students out. Poena admired her courage.

Shepard was still a few steps away, and walking slowly when Poena tagged the door behind her to close it. The child looked up for the first time. Perhaps only now realizing that she was alone with a strange Asari. She was thin, her clothes hanging loosely from her gaunt frame. Her hair was short, disorderly, and flat on one side. The look Poena received from those hooded, recessed eyes held resignation, but no fear.

Good.

Poena but her hand in the middle of the child's chest, pushing lightly in the direction of a chair. "Sit, Child."

The commando claimed a seat of her own, spinning the chair before straddling it a few feet from where the Human had seated herself.

"You don't look like much."

Sarah didn't respond, going so far as to turn her head towards the opposite side of the room.

"I hear you killed a decem of Batarians." She continued. "You probably think that makes you something." She inched her chair closer. "Not all that impressive you know. Batarians are so easy to kill that I've done it accidentally."

The girl refused to acknowledge Poena's comment.

' _Fine.'_

The Asari stood, kicking her chair to the wall with a satisfying crash, even without the help of her biotics. She started walking in a circle around the child, not allowing her to look away. "You think this is a game? Perhaps that you have nothing to prove?" She leaned in close, breath warm in the Human's face. "The next Batarians you meet probably won't be so friendly, or so stupid." The girl shuddered at the comment and Poena pressed on, satisfied at finally eliciting a response. "You got lucky. Too lucky. You learn from failure, from pain, not from success."

She grabbed Shepard by the chin, pulling her gaze upwards. "Do you understand?" The girl's eyes hardened. Poena almost smiled as she asked again, more softly, in a tone that had made raiders surrender without firing a shot. "Do. You. Understand?"

When Shepard didn't reply the Asari followed up with a callous backhand, knocking the Human out of her chair. "I asked you a question Child!"

Sarah hit the floor without a sound, but her eyes were bright with rage. Before the girl could decide how to respond, the door behind her slid open, and Poena heard the sound of running footsteps behind her. The two younger officers from the observation room ran past her to Shepard's side, helping the girl to her feet.

The mercenary held herself at the ready, and when Commander Anderson grabbed her shoulder and spun her around, he found himself facing a glowing fist and a dangerous glare.

To his credit, the man pulled back even as the angry look on his face intensified. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" He hissed.

She allowed her biotics to dissipate. "Your job, obviously," she responded calmly as the two women helped Shepard out of the room.

Once the door closed behind them Anderson made no effort to disguise his fury. "You can't just hit a kid! Who the hell are you? How did you get Collins to approve this shit show?"

Poena reflected for a moment that perhaps it was the Goddess' will that she spend time with these Humans. It would certainly reintroduce her to patience. It had been centuries since anyone questioned her like this man was doing. They obviously needed her. She's only been here a day, and she no longer questioned the urgency in the request that brought her here.

"Your Admiral Collins agreed that the Alliance did not want to lose a powerful Human biotic to Council custody. That outcome is still a very real possibility. She's both a threat, and a target. Until she's trained, she is a danger to herself and those around her. As the Council does not trust humanity's competence in this matter, my presence was requested."

"Not by the Alliance!" Anderson roared. "If you think I'm just going to let you abuse this girl then you…" he trailed off when Poena raised her hand.

"You're either ignorant or an imbecile. Normally I wouldn't care which, but you're going to get this child killed." She waited for that to sink in. "I will be here every day at 14:00 for two hours of training. We will use this room. Replace the furniture with sparring mats before tomorrow's session." She turned away from the incredulous Human and opened the door.

"Wait!"

She paused, but did not look back. "Yes?"

"This is Alethea's classroom. What are we supposed to do with the rest of the class?" He asked sarcastically. "Just throw them out the airlock?"

"If that is your wish. It is not my concern either way."

"And Alethea? Doesn't she get a say?" The man was obviously running out of arguments.

"She does not, and unlike you, she will understand this."

"Fuck! Fine! How will we reach you?"

"As I indicated, I will be here every day at 14:00."

"That's not what I meant," came the exasperated response. "Where are you staying? Alliance housing?"

The Human had gone back to being tiresome. "I will see to my own accommodations. You do not need to concern yourself with my well being." With that she passed through the doorway, allowing the door to shut behind her.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

The Human must have confirmed his lack of authority in this matter. When Poena had returned the following day, the room had been properly prepared, and Shepard was waiting inside. The education schedule of the class had been modified to accommodate the commando's precedence over Sarah's time. Alethea and Anderson had been waiting outside. Poena offered the matriarch a nod of recognition. The Human she ignored.

Once the door closed against outside interference, Poena addressed Shepard while again walking in a wide circle around her.

"My name is Poena Agantos. I am here to expedite your instruction in biotics. I have one objective, and that is that you achieve the maximum level of mastery of your biotics to which you are capable. Your comfort and well-being are not my concern, but you will find that you will achieve greater levels of both if you follow my instruction. Questions are acceptable, as I do not expect blind obedience, but I do expect obedience. Is that understood, Child?"

The hatred in Shepard's eyes was the only response the Asari received.

Poena nodded. "Very well then." She closed the distance between herself and the girl.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

She had been on the station for just over a month, and so far had very little to show for it. She didn't know what bothered her more, her own lack of success, or Anderson's obvious glee in her failure. She stood next to the obstinate Human as they watched Alethea's class from an observation room similar to the one connected to where she made her daily attempt to instruct Shepard. At least they had learned to tolerate each other's presence.

"Not much progress so far," the Human sipped at his ever-present coffee.

"Hmmm," she replied, refusing to be drawn into that discussion.

The class at least was benefiting from Alethea's instruction, and both she and Anderson had followed some of Poena's advice in regards to some of the individual children. While there was some improvement amongst the others, Shepard had shown none at all. She also continued to refuse to engage in any of the biotic exercises she was assigned either individually, or as part of the group.

A boy was sitting next to Sarah this morning, the same one that Poena had identified as having a concentration problem earlier. He'd had something called "yoga" added to his daily instruction, and it appeared to have assisted him with his focus. The boy still struggled though. Today Alethea had the class working on barriers, and although the boy was able to generate a biotic field, he had yet to effectively form anything even resembling a detectable barrier.

While they watched, Sarah leaned over and said something to the boy. From the look on his face he was as shocked as she and Anderson. It was so rare that Sarah shed her shroud of apathy that many of the other children would forget she was there.

The boy nodded and turned away, this time closing his eyes before concentrating. Not effective in a fight, Poena considered, but the boy needed all the help he could get.

Shockingly, the boy manifested a barrier around his entire body, bathing the class in a bright blue glow for several seconds before fizzling out. Several classmates joined in congratulating the boy, and he received an approving nod from the matriarch.

Poena simply watched in silence. _'Now I have you,'_ she thought.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

The following day Poena had two students waiting for her in her instruction room. Shepard, and the boy with the barrier.

As she entered, the boy was immediately antagonistic. "Hey! What am I doing here?" He jerked his thumb at the girl. "I thought only she had to practice on the weekend."

Shepard's face showed worry for what was to come, perhaps confirming Poena's earlier supposition. Poena left the girl's expectation unmet as she answered the boy's question.

"Personal growth is not limited by the clock, or the calendar. I saw your barrier yesterday and decided that you might benefit from additional instruction. I informed Anderson, and you have been delivered to me. That is all you need to know."

"What if I don't want any of your 'additional instruction'?" The boy responded insolently. "Bug her on the weekends, but leave me alone." He made to move past the commando as he started for the door.

Poena stopped him with a hand to the chest, pushing him back. "Your desires are irrelevant to this situation. What is your name?"

"Nolan," he responded with a sneer as he tried to pass her again. "Not that it matters, I'm outta here."

The push this time was strong enough to knock him off his feet. Poena paid him no mind. She was looking at him, but her attention was on Sarah's response.

"Get up," she instructed, followed by "Now," when he hesitated.

As the boy scrambled to his feet, she began pacing in front of him. "Your barrier was impressive for your first, but it is not enough to be able to form one in the confines of the classroom. It must come when called, not when convenient." She stopped to glare at the boy. "Do you understand, Nolan?"

"Sure, I guess so."

Poena responded with a throw, blowing the boy halfway across the room. "Apparently not. Get up."

Nolan rose to his feet, slower this time, as he held his arms out in front of him.

"Raise your barrier."

"I'm trying!"

She threw him the remaining distance to the wall this time, the padded surface interrupting his fall. "Boy, I am attacking you. Why aren't you trying to stop me?"

"Leave me alone!"

Another throw, now followed by a grunt of pain. "Make me."

"I can't!" There was panic in his voice.

"Is this how you face an enemy? Your next opponent might not be so cordial as to announce her purpose. Defend yourself!" She allowed dark energy to spiral down her arm, telegraphing her intent.

Poena suddenly found herself catapulted across the room, barely able to turn in time to avoid impacting the wall crest first. Her head spun from the impact, and she brought her fingers to the corner of her mouth, wiping away the trickle of blood she found there. She looked blearily back towards the children, and it took a moment for them to snap into focus.

Shepard was standing in front of the boy, fists ablaze. "He said to leave him ALONE!"

The mercenary couldn't help herself. Her grin was feral and her blood sang with the joy of combat. "Boy," she indicated the door with a tilt of her head. "Out. Now." He ran.

The Asari called her omni-tool to seal the door and the observation window as she walked towards Shepard. "Child, today is your first lesson." She charged.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

It was twenty minutes later when the commando exited the room, carrying the Human girl. Anderson, members of his staff, and a medical team were crowding the doorway. As usual, she ignored Anderson's questioning look as she placed the child on the gurney brought by the lead medic.

"The child needs rest, and nourishment." She smiled at Sarah before continuing. "She'll need strength for tomorrow." She placed her hand on Shepard's shoulder before the corpsman wheeled her away. "Well done, Child, _well done_."

She turned to Anderson and the smile slipped from her face. He obviously cared for the child, but he was too obstinate to work with easily. Too much like Shepard, she realized suddenly. Another mistake? Goddess, she must be getting older than she felt.

"What the hell happened in there? The kid said you were going to kill her. I was afraid we'd need to bring a body bag."

She paused a moment before responding, the words tasting like vomit even as she formed them. "I was wrong."

"What was that?"

' _Goddess damn this annoying Human,'_ she thought. "I was wrong," she reiterated. "My methods were as ill chosen as your own. Fortunately, I was able to correct my mistake in time."

Anderson rocked back a bit at her admission. This might be the first non-adversarial conversation the pair had ever had. She didn't remember another, at any rate.

"Wrong how?" At least he wasn't gloating.

"I misread her. I misread her strength. I thought she was _bellator_ , as I. I believed her obstinacy was because she judged me an unworthy opponent. However, it appears that she truly did not want to fight. She is not _bellator_ , the warrior." She met the commander's eyes. "She is _paracliai_. She fights for others, not for herself. She is the protector." She paused, not knowing if the man before truly understood what she was trying to say. "Her path is more difficult than I anticipated." She turned to face the hallway that Shepard had been wheeled down. "But I shall prepare her for it nonetheless."

The commander stepped forward to join the mercenary looking down the hallway. "By kicking her ass? That's your plan?"

"She did not yield. She collapsed from hunger, exhaustion, not in surrender to the pain." She considered the girl's likely next actions. "I suspect that she will sleep deeply tonight, and that she will eat well in the morning." She turned to Anderson's unspoken question. "Gaining her strength is the only way for her to defeat me."

"But you said she wasn't a warrior."

"No, but she has seen the power needed to defend against one. She will decide she requires that power, and she will hone her abilities until she makes it her own."

She walked away before the commander could respond.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Poena was already waiting when Sarah arrived in their training room. The Asari could see the child deflate a little, probably having hoped to catch her off guard upon her arrival. Good. That was how she needed to be thinking.

"Stop, Child," the mercenary directed as the girl started to bend over. "Leave your shoes on."

"Why?" It was the first word the girl had spoken to her other than in anger. Remarkable child. Any other student would be afraid to question her after an encounter like the prior day's. Even weak and untrained this Human did not fear her.

"Today we run."

"Run?" The confusion was clear in her voice. "Where? How far?"

"We shall circle the mezzanine," she gave the girl a meaningful look, "until you are unable to continue."

Shepard lasted five hours. The child was gloriously stubborn. It was all Poena could do to maintain an appropriate level of disdain instead of congratulating the girl.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Shepard held her barrier against a alternating throws and pulls. Once Poena paused for a cooldown, the Human charged at the Asari. She stopped short when the mercenary unexpectedly raised a barrier of her own, but was so close to her that she was able to use her momentum to deliver an old fashioned punch.

Poena grabbed her arm, and pulled her over her, planting her feet in Shepard's abdomen even as she fell backwards, throwing the teen up and behind her. Shepard turned mid-air and landed on her feet, arms raised to defend or attack. Poena was already facing her.

"That was sloppy, Voulos. You should never have let me grab you."

"Maybe I felt bad for an old woman, Kyrios," came the teasing reply. "I did knock you on your ass."

"You did." The Asari checked her omni-tool. "I think we're done."

"Early, Kyrios?"

"You question me even now? It is not early, or late. I judge it to be exactly the correct time."

Shepard rolled her eyes. "You're not Buddha, you know. I've known you too long to believe those made up maxims are part of the 'Asari mystique'."

"Nevertheless," the commando waited expectantly.

Shepard approached the matron, and they grasped each other's shoulders while bringing their foreheads together. "Well fought," they said in unison. If Shepard had been Asari, this would have been accompanied by a shallow meld, sharing the bond of teacher and student. Poena never risked such a meld, couldn't take the chance that Shepard would see her hopes for the child, her fears for the child.

Sarah left the mercenary behind to return to her room. She never had discovered where Poena slept and the commando would never say. Station security seemed to be a non-existent thing for the Asari, so she assumed that Poena simply slept in unoccupied quarters.

Her blood ran cold when she reached her cabin and found the Serrice Council amp on her bed. She refused to have an amp before, although Anderson and Alethea had each tried to convince her of the benefits. Once the L3s had come out, they redoubled their efforts, but Sarah had been adamant. It felt like a surrender, like she was giving in to the path they had chosen for her. Poena had never offered an opinion one way or another, but Shepard knew where the amp had come from. Knew that Poena wouldn't be at training the following day, and she was right.

This was her graduation present.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

"That was the last time I saw her." Her audience had been remarkably quiet during the tale. So much so that she could hear Liara's breathing in the chair next to her. "No one saw her leave the station, no one knew where she went. I'd hear stories from time to time, I'd try to make contact, but like I said, she's never responded to any of my attempts to reach her."

Liara nodded, considering her bondmate's story. "I had assumed that your amp came from Anderson, Shepard."

"I guess we've never talked about it, have we? He'd have gotten me an L3 if I'd wanted it, but I refused to be implanted so often, he eventually gave up." She grinned at the circle of Asari, "He was damn surprised when I came back from the Asari embassy with a shiny new Serrice Council amp using an Asari implant."

"How could you afford that, Shepard?" asked Liara.

"I couldn't, but Poena paid for it. I think she was afraid that if she didn't I'd have gone to an Alliance facility. For as nice as she was to me, she seemed to have a pretty low opinion of humanity."

Liara's tone was disapproving, "It doesn't sound like she was all that nice to you, Shepard."

Sarah shrugged. "I left quite a bit out. She didn't just teach me biotics, obviously. She also taught me her exercise regimen, helped me with my studies, and more than a couple 'suspicious individuals' on the station met an untimely end after asking about me." She met Liara's eyes, "I can tell you don't think much of her, but I owe her a lot."

"I find it difficult to think of Poena Agantos in the context of being what you call a guardian angel, Shepard."

Shepard laughed, and smiles lit up throughout her companions. She didn't know why, but Liara's commandos all seemed to love it when she laughed. "You're absolutely right, she was no angel." When no response seemed forthcoming she continued, "I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm starving. I'm hitting the showers, and then I'm going to see who Alaya has in the kitchen tonight."

"Shepard, it is not fair to bother the staff into letting you help in the kitchen. You know they will not say no to you, it just makes them nervous."

The commander grinned. "OK, OK. Message received. I need to catch up with Denai anyway. Acceptable?"

"I do not know which is worse, having you spend the evening teaching yet another person how you like your steak, or having you drinking with Denai."

"Hey! It's not my fault that Denai stocked the liquor cabinet in my office. What does Iryra bring you?"

"Tea, Shepard. She has the staff prepare tea."

"You should probably talk to her about that then," Shepard said with a wink as she dashed up the arena stairs.

* * *

A/N: Assumptions here include:

FemShep/Liara  
Post ME1 ending - after the Battle of the Citadel, before beginning of ME2

Shepard is:  
Colonist / Vanguard / War Hero

As always, feedback is welcome and desired.


	22. Acolyte

**Summary:**

Where Shepard becomes closer to Denai, and Liara finds Shepard's reading choices to be wanting...

 **Notes:**

Another Thessia chapter, although our pair doesn't get out much.

* * *

She spared a glance at the chronometer on the wall. Still early evening. She grunted as she smiled to herself, again enjoying the benefit of a twenty-seven and a half hour day. She could work as long as she thought necessary, but still manage to get the seven hours or so of sleep she preferred.

That was probably a good thing right now. Shepard could feel that her focus was slipping. She felt slightly guilty, but she also knew her limits and she recognized that pushing beyond them for no reason was a sure way to use up reserves she'd need later. Stallura might be able to run a republics spanning organization and still have time for detailed reports to Liara and Shepard, but Sarah was well aware that she didn't have the attention span for it.

She set aside a pad detailing the output of yet another Khos shipyard and reached for one from what Denai called the social pile, but what Shepard had internally taken to calling the "brownnose" stack. Another matriarch wanted to meet with the Savior of the Citadel. Wonderful. This one was the minister of something or other from Dassus. When Shepard had complained that it was always her that did the traveling, and if people wanted to meet her so damn badly why didn't any of them come to the estate, Denai had quickly warned her away from the suggestion. The obligation of hospitality was always on the host in Asari society, and such a duty was open ended. If Shepard were to suggest that a petitioner for her time was welcome at the estate, House T'Soni would be obliged to accommodate them for as long as they might wish to stay.

Sarah had been briefly tempted to use that knowledge to her advantage and instead make herself at home with the next matriarch to request an audience, but had eventually decided against it. Although her hope was that it might reduce the number of such requests, she knew such an action could backfire on her. If word got around that inviting the first Human spectre to dinner might end up with having her as an extended houseguest, she might very well end up with an increase of such invitations. That was the last thing she wanted. Although she was becoming more and more comfortable meeting with dignitaries with only her honor guard or Denai at her side, she desperately missed Liara during any time she spent away from the estate. Besides, some of the matriarchs she ended up meeting with seemed to want to be more familiar with her than she was comfortable with being. She hadn't yet found a way to preempt any such suggestive behavior beyond maintaining a professionally detached demeanor, hardly her strong suit. Most of the matriarchs she'd met so far seemed to find her devotion to Liara to be cute, but of no particular importance. She'd had to learn to watch her step. Her typical irreverence had been taken for flirtation more than once, and she'd hate for Denai to have to run interference for her.

She dropped the invitation onto her finished pile. The note was just for the purpose of looping her into tomorrow's activities anyway. Denai would never have given it to her and she not already accepted the invitation on Shepard's behalf. Sarah trusted Denai's judgement that the matriarch was high enough in the bureaucratic pecking order to warrant a visit.

With that thought, she looked up and caught sight of the matron as she busied herself in the common workspace between their offices. The area was likely intended as a receiving area, but Shepard preferred having a space where she could spread out. She as a visual thinker, and preferred to have everything available to her at once. Denai had taken to the layout as well, and it allowed them to work on several projects simultaneously without cluttering either of their offices. It was a feature she would have liked to have on the Normandy. Even the comm room lacked a table. She didn't understand the design that put a ring of seats in a circle without a conference table between them. Maybe it was a Turian arrangement, like the CIC layout that had her command station as far from her helmsman as possible. She didn't like that one either.

Denai had been a surprise. They'd forged a better working relationship than Sarah had thought possible since the commander had originally accepted the matron's oath. Their initial interaction on Thessia, and later over comms had been hesitant, tentative, but Shepard had grown to depend on the matron. Her initial objections were still valid. She did still prefer turn to Liara for her questions about Asari culture, and her obligations as a member of a Great House. What Denai brought to the table was a willingness to be blunt. If Shepard was about to make a mistake, Denai told her so. She was unfailingly respectful, but she didn't hint around or take particular care to spare her feelings like Liara would.

Her intelligence about the state of affairs on Thessia was also more current than Liara's. A great deal of the time that Liara was spending with members of the House, and in audiences with the Conclave of Matriarchs was in attempts to both bring herself up to date with the current political conditions on Thessia in general, and Armali in particular. She was also working to subtly start to undo the damage done by Benezia before her death. Public opinion had been swayed in her favor during the funeral, but Liara's mother had had many powerful enemies who were using Benezia's actions and the currently perceived weakness of House T'Soni to push forward their own agendas.

All that meant was that Liara had been correct in advocating that Shepard accept Denai as an acolyte. In fact, Shepard had only had one interaction with the matron that could go so far as to be labeled an incident.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

 _Zelana had effortlessly piloted the ship through the Parnitha system. As much as Shepard occasionally missed her helmsman, Zelana's performance had yet to provide her any reason for complaint. The absence of sarcasm was a welcome respite as well._

 _As after Benezia's funeral, traffic control made way for the T'Soni heir and her party. The most highly trafficked system in Council Space was as unobstructed for them as the most isolated colony._

 _Once they landed Sarah was struck with an odd sense of déja vu as she stepped onto the spaceport apron and was greeted by a trio of aircars and members of House T'Soni staff._

 _This time however, Liara was firmly in control of her faculties, and the situation. As Alaya and Iryra started towards Liara, the maiden stepped forward briskly to meet them. She reached Alaya first, and the maiden and the matriarch grasped each other's forearms as they leaned into each other, their eyes an inky black. Iryra stood to one side, a composed smile just touching her face._

 _Shepard slowed her own pace as she took in the sight, which allowed Denai to reach her while she was still some distance away from the cars. When Sarah turned away from the view of the melding Asari she found herself face to face with Denai, whose own obsidian eyes quickly drew Sarah in so deeply that only the matron's arms kept her from falling._

 _*Welcome home Peeress.*_

 _Shepard jerked back, both separating herself from Denai as well as breaking the unexpected meld. The matron had a look on her face somewhere between surprised and hurt._

 _"_ _What the fuck was that?" She hissed. Shepard privately congratulated herself for not yelling, even as she glanced at Liara to make sure she hadn't seen._

 _Denai stepped forward, prompting Shepard to take another step backward in return. The matron spoke in low tones. "It was only a greeting, Peeress." There was emotion in the Asari's voice. "I meant no disrespect."_

 _"_ _Disrespect? Are you kidding?" Shepard seethed in return. "Liara's standing right there!" She waved her hand in the direction of her bondmate, who was still absorbed in a meld of her own._

 _Shepard took a moment to process the view before turning back to Denai, meeting the matron's horrified demeanor with an apologetic look of her own. "I screwed that up, didn't I?"_

 _"_ _No, Peeress." Denai's visage instantly transitioned from a look of dismay to one of stone. "I am to blame. I took a liberty. I had no right." She dropped her arms to her side as she bowed her head. "I can only ask for forgiveness in this matter."_

 _Shepard stepped forward, reaching for Denai's uncertain hands as she attempted to salvage the situation. "Hey, hey. Not your fault. Your world, your customs. I should have been ready. Everyone was so standoffish last time that it never occurred to me…" She stopped. "You know, this would go faster if we just did what you wanted to do in the first place."_

 _"_ _Are you certain?" Denai was hesitant to continue. "You were most emphatic when you broke the meld."_

 _"_ _I'm sure," Shepard tried to reassure the matron with a smile. "It was just unexpected, and I'd only ever," she hesitated, "you know…" she trailed off as she indicated Liara with a tilt of her head._

 _Denai's eyes were wide with understanding. "Oh! Your only experience with the meld has been… So you thought…"_

 _The commander put her hands up in an attempt to stop the flustered Asari from continuing. "Hang on, that's not exactly what I meant. Technically Liara and I had shared a couple of melds before… Wait. Why are we still talking about this? Go ahead and do what you were doing to do."_

 _Shepard refrained from pushing further. She knew she was still a novice as far as the expected norms in a great house, but she was also aware that here was no way Denai was going to refuse a directive from her patron. The Asari practically craved for Shepard to give her explicit direction._

 _There was a methodical deliberation to Denai's movements this time as she stepped closer to Shepard. She left more space between them, unlike the prior effort which had practically been an embrace. The entire process seem to move in slow motion. Sarah was surprised to see black tendrils start to creep across Denai's eyes instead of the way that Liara's eyes would immediately snap to midnight pools between one blink and the next._

 _Sarah felt a presence, tentative at first, and obviously seeking permission before going further. She closed her eyes, and opened herself as completely as she could, doing everything she knew how to let Denai know that not only was the connection permitted, it was welcome._

 _*Peeress?* For some reason Shepard was reminded of a child who knew they were supposed to be in bed. It was almost like she was shy, something that Sarah knew that the matron standing before her certainly was not._

 _'_ _Hello Denai,' Sarah replied reassuringly as she tried to show a smile across the meld. 'It's OK. I didn't mean to be so abrupt before.'_

 _Denai's formality continued even in this personal space. *Please do not concern yourself Sarah. My error was the cause of our shared discomfort.*_

 _The commander was having none of it. 'The only error, if there even has been one, was to assume that I had properly prepared myself for coming…' she hesitated._

 _*Home, Sarah. The word you're looking for is home.* Denai appeared to be finding her footing. *And I truly am sorry. Your homecoming should be a time of joy, allowing for reflection, relaxation. My actions were a violation of your trust.*_

 _'_ _You don't get to own this one Denai. You had every reason to expect a different response from me. I like to think I'm not an idiot, and even if I wasn't paying attention when we were here for Benezia's funeral I've learned enough from Liara to know that melds are a normal part of everyday life, particularly in a great house. It was a stupid mistake, and I'm sorry.'_

 _*You never have to apologize, Peeress. It is the place of the house staff to anticipate your needs, and to assure that they are met to the best of our abilities.*_

 _'_ _Even I know better than that. Acolytes serve, but they aren't servants. The service is to my role in the House, not to me personally. The oath is one of loyalty and faithfulness, not labor.' Shepard would have looked askance at her if Denai could see it._

 _*Liara said you had been researching Asari customs. Your wisdom reflects well on the heir to a great house.*_

 _Shepard detected the undertone of amusement behind Denai's words. 'What? You're kidding? This was all a joke?'_

 _*Not at all, Peeress. However I can study Humans as easily as you can study Asari. Humanity is well known for using humor to neutralize tense situations, and I am sorry for making you uncomfortable.* She paused, *Even though you seem to insist on portraying yourself on being somewhat less mindful of your role here than you truly are.*_

 _'_ _Yeah, it's always better to let yourself be underestimated.'_

 _*I am not your adversary, Peeress.*_

 _'_ _Of course not, even if I did flinch at your greeting. Speaking of, how come you never did that before? None of you have.'_

 _Denai considered her response for a moment. *We had been trying to interact with you a little as possible, Peeress.*_

 _'_ _Will you knock it off with Peeress already? Why? Is it because I'm Human? And who do you mean we?'_

 _*The members of the household, Sarah, and it wasn't just you, it was both you and Liara. It was our goal to not be a distraction until your relationship with Liara was provided the opportunity to fully develop.*_

 _'_ _Fully develop… you were waiting until we were together? That's a pretty big assumption don't you think?' Shepard had to admit that maybe it wasn't. She hadn't had eyes for anyone but Liara since, well she didn't remember ever thinking about anyone the way she felt about Liara. Her heart clenched at the thought of Liara having not been interested in a relationship beyond their formal one as members of the House._

 _Sarah could sense Denai nodding her head even before she continued, reminding her that she had just shared that thought. *Your relationship with Liara was not a mere possibility when you originally arrived on Thessia, Sarah. Shiala saw it immediately. The rest of us lacked the advantage of knowing you prior to Benezia's funeral, but the bond between the two of you was obvious to all. Truly the only surprise was how long you took to act on it.*_

 _'_ _Actually it was Liara who… Wait. You knew that we weren't a couple before?'_

 _*Yes, Sarah.*_

 _'_ _But now you know that we are?'_

 _Denai's smile filled the meld. *Of course.*_

 _Sarah wondered how well a blush translated through the meld. 'Do I want to know?'_

 _*Know, Sarah?*_

 _'_ _How you're aware of my change of relationship status? Is it something about being part of the family?'_

 _*Oh no, Peeress. Any Asari would be able to tell. Is this a concern? Perhaps you should discuss it with Liara.*_

 _She signed inwardly. 'I think I'll leave that one alone for now. What's next?'_

 _With that, Denai broke the meld, and Shepard found herself facing a far more comfortable looking acolyte than she had moments previously. "There is no new news that I have not kept you appraised of. Do you have instructions, Peeress?"_

 _The commander shook her head, still coming to terms with the new information disclosed to her by the meld. "Nothing for now. Liara wanted a day or two of downtime, and then meetings with the matriarchs and members of the various provincial governments, or at least as many as can make time for us while we're here. I think we already have the beginnings of a schedule?"_

 _"_ _We do, Sarah," Denai nodded as she confirmed Shepard's assumption. "Matriarch Stallura will arrive in the morning to assist in preparation for the meetings." With that, she stepped aside to make room for Alaya, who had come up behind them during their conversation._

 _Shepard tensed slightly when she realized that Alaya wished to greet her with a meld as well. She knew the Asari had no love for her, but she didn't know what she could do about it. She was actually still astounded that anyone at the estate could stand her after being the cause of Benezia's death. When her parents were killed she's hated everyone, but reserved an exceptional degree of rancor for the Batarians who had attacked the farm._

 _Alaya's regal movements exhibited none of the contempt that Sarah attributed to her, and the matriarch grasped Shepard's forearms as her eyes snapped to black with the speed that the Human was accustomed to seeing with Liara._

 _*It is a pleasure to have you home, Commander. Welcome.* Alaya's demeanor was cool, but pleasant._

 _'_ _Thanks. It's uh, good to be back.'_

 _*It pleases me to see you both home. The estate is never as empty as it is when no T'Soni is present. Liara has expressed her preferences for the evening. Is there anything you would like to add?*_

 _Sarah assumed she meant dinner, but whatever Liara wanted was fine with her. 'I'm fine, thank you.'_

 _*Very well, Commander.* And with that, the meld unraveled with none of the abruptness of Denai nor the anxiety she often felt when separating from Liara. Her meld with Sha'ira had ended similarly, she remembered. Perhaps the smooth transition came from the experience of a matriarch she considered._

 _Liara was at her side, a soft smile brightening her features. "To the estate then?"_

 _Shepard knew better than to look for her bag as she took Liara's arm. "To the estate."_

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

"These are the most recent requests, Peeress," Denai placed another half dozen datapads on Shepard's desk, pulling Shepard from her reverie.

The commander shook her head as she brought herself back to the moment and looked from her current piles to the new. "Anything interesting in there?"

"They are mostly additional invitations to social events, Peeress." When Shepard offered no response, she continued, "There are also a few business proposals from firms reputable enough to pass an initial screening by Jedis' team, and one breeding contract."

Shepard didn't even look up. "How are those still getting through?" She finished her scotch, neglected at her elbow for some time. "Also, how come I'm not seeing anything from the colonial militias? There must have been fifty of those the first week alone."

"Those were the result of several weeks of backlog, Peeress. Stallura is well able to handle the majority of such correspondence." This time Shepard just grunted. "Unless you doubt her capabilities?"

That got Shepard's attention. "Of course not," she responded unnecessarily. "She's forgotten more about the logistics of warfare than I ever hope to learn." She waved at the datapads. "I just thought I'd have more to do than meet with every matriarch on Thessia to tell them how grateful we are that they aren't actively working against us."

"Maintaining relationships is a vital role for a member of a great house, Peeress."

Enough was enough. Shepard turned off the datapad in her hand. "It's just us, Denai. I know I'll never talk you out of it when we're in public, but can you knock off the "peeress" for a little while?"

Denai's posture didn't change, but her demeanor relaxed slightly as she started organizing the pads on the commander's desk. "Of course. Are you done for the evening Sarah, or did you want to review the Khos production numbers again?" Liara seemed to have been the only member of the house so far to be able to comfortably call the commander by her preferred "Shepard" when not using one of her ranks or titles. When she'd pressed the typical answer was some variation of 'We are all T'Soni.'

"I practically have the damn things memorized, Denai." She checked her omni-tool. "At this point I'm just killing time until Liara's done on her call with the Conclave."

"It is still early. I'm sure Eliata and her team would be glad to see you make an appearance at the commando lounge."

Shepard barked a bitter laugh. "Yeah, I'm sure they would. I thought teaching the commandos to play poker would be a good idea, but all they do is kick my ass." She winced at the memory of unreadable faces and lost credits.

"You wear your emotions close to the surface, Sarah," explained Denai as she poured Shepard another single malt. "And you are a horrible liar," she finished with a smile.

"You know I hate it when you do that." Shepard waved Denai to the chair opposite her as she stood to collect another glass. "You don't get to pour my drinks unless you're going to join me."

Denai sat, recognizing that this particular battle was one she wasn't going to win. "Sarah, you are a family member in a great house…"

"Yeah yeah, I get it," Shepard interrupted, not unkindly. "And I appreciate how many ways that you've managed to keep me from making a fool of myself when Liara's not around to do it," she handed Denai a scotch to match her own, "but occasionally I like to not follow protocol, you know? Make my own mistakes." She waited for a reply that never came. "I see enough of the matriarchs rolling their eyes at me to know that most of them don't take 'the Human' seriously anyway." She settled back into her chair. "Not that that's any failure of yours," she added before Denai might get the wrong idea.

Denai sat in silence for a time. "It isn't that the matriarchs don't take you seriously because you're Human, _Peeress_ ," she stressed the word, "but because of your age. That's simply how our society works. Liara receives no more recognition than you, and in many cases even less due to your reputation and life stage."

Shepard sat up for that. "Are you kidding? What do you mean? Liara's over a century old. She's earned her doctorate. She's a published researcher. She's a T'Soni For crying out loud. I'm just a…"

"T'Soni," Denai interrupted. "And a spectre, and have the ear of the Consort, and have the attention of the Asari councilor, if not her outright esteem."

The commander looked like she was ready to charge from the room. "That's crazy. That's… unacceptable! That can't do that to her. She's an aristocrat, an heiress. She fought against Saren…"

"She's barely an adult," added Denai with the faintest of smiles at Shepard's annoyance.

"Doesn't matter. She's a helluva lot smarter than most of these matriarchs," Sarah retorted. "How can such an 'enlightened' society be so ageist?" The commander's tone was incredulous.

Denai shrugged. "There are always maidens and matrons who challenge our societal norms."

"And what happens?"

"In most cases they are ignored. Some emigrate to colonies. Others attempt to initiate change on Thessia. Eventually all become matriarchs themselves, at which point they lose interest in making such issues a matter of contention." Shepard would have to be calmed soon, the matron knew, before she bolted into Liara's meeting and told off the Conclave.

"But…"

"Peeress, _Sarah_ ," Denai's words were calming. "She is your bondmate. It is understandable for you to be distressed on her behalf, albeit unnecessary. Consider this; does Liara appear distressed by this state of affairs?"

Shepard knew the answer to this one. "As a matter of fact, she does. One of the first things we ever talked about was that her Prothean research would have been taken more seriously if she had been older when she published it."

"I stand corrected," Denai nodded in acquiescence even as her faint smile remained. "Your defense of Liara does you both credit, but such tenacity would be better directed towards other struggles."

The commander was partially mollified. "Well, you don't have to sound so surprised." She took in the relaxed demeanor of her _princeps_. "Are you going to finish trying to talk me out of making a scene?"

"I'm prepared to, if necessary. _Is_ it necessary?

They both knew the answer to that. "No," she huffed. Denai had an annoying habit of being a confidante while at the same time being someone that Shepard hated to disappoint. Not that the matron would every say anything, of course. But unlike Liara she would offer preemptive advice as opposed to assuming that Sarah wanted to go her own way in all cases.

Her frustration needed an outlet. She considered just packing it in for the evening, or perhaps going to the dining hall that she had taken to calling the "war room". It was one of the places in the estate where she felt most comfortable. Between the table strewn with datapads, screens lining the walls, and maidens constantly updating data about current inventory stockpiles, production quotas, and resources available, it felt almost military. Sometimes Shepard would come down after Liara had gone to sleep, and just watch the activity, a cup of coffee in her hand. They didn't need her help, but it just felt to good to be part of something that was working to prepare for the Reaper invasion, no matter how little good their preparation might end up doing.

She dismissed that idea for the moment, and instead returned her attention to the matron sitting across from her. This person whom she had come to rely on, yet knew remarkably little about.

"How did you end up here, Denai?"

"You accepted my oath."

Yes, Denai had an acceptable level of snark. The matron could be downright irreverent when they were alone, despite the fact that she was intensely formal in public.

"I meant what brought you here to the estate. To House T'Soni. To Benezia."

Denai looked into her glass for a few moments, and Shepard wondered if she wasn't going to answer. That would have been a first.

"Asari live a long time, Commander."

The use of 'Commander' had become rare enough to get Shepard's attention.

"I know that."

"Yes, but do you know what it means? How it shapes us?" Denai paused before continuing, "Have you and Liara had the 'lifespan talk' yet?"

Shepard knew what she meant, even though she'd been able to avoid it so far. "I think Liara's tried a few times, but honestly I don't see any point to it. If we can't stop the Reapers, all of our lifespans are going to be the same. If we win, well, we can talk about it then."

"A reasonable mindset," agreed Denai before she continued. "Lifespans and aging have been a torment for the Asari for as long as we have had a written history, Sarah. Right now in fact, it may be worse than it has ever been in our society. With the intense social pressure to partner with non-Asari, most of our race is entering romantic and parental relationships with individuals whom we know we will outlive, in some cases by orders of magnitude."

"Right," Shepard prompted. She wasn't going to insult Denai's intelligence by pointing out that she was in just such a relationship.

"Despite the pressure to mate outside our species, many Asari still choose to bond with those of our own kind. Honestly, the current perception that without outside influence the Asari will lose hereditary vigor, or be subject to a high rate of genetic defects makes little sense. If we needed outside species to survive, the Asari would have died out long before we met the Salarians."

"Of course. You don't _need_ other species to reproduce, you're just trying to avoid genetic recessives."

"And one benefit of bonding between two Asari, at least if the couple is lucky enough to be of a similar age, is that you don't actually need to have the lifespan talk." Denai took a deep drink of her scotch. "Unfortunately, life expectancy and lifespan are two different things, Sarah. Just because someone can live a thousand years doesn't mean that they will." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "It doesn't mean that they'll even come close." She met Shepard's eyes, and the commander knew that somewhere along the line Denai had outlived a partner. More than that, had outlived a partner that she had not expected to outlive.

The matron looked back down at her drink. "I'd been a commando, I'd been a pilot, I'd been a geological engineer. I was between jobs on Cyone and I picked up a copy of one of Benezia's treatments on action with a peaceful mind. I was intrigued, and I ended up here. She allowed me to trade my organizational and engineering skills for education in her philosophical teachings. I ended up with two doctorates and became an acolyte." She paused, "Twice now, I suppose." She finished her drink. "Asari live a long time, Commander. Sometimes that time isn't enough, but sometimes you have to work very hard to fill those years."

She rose from her chair, and for the first time Shepard could remember didn't ask for her leave. "Goodnight, Sarah." The matron turned and left Shepard's office.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

After a brief search Liara found Shepard in her bedroom.

"Shepard, what are you doing in here?"

The commander put down the datapad she was reading. "I thought this was my room?"

Liara moved to sit at the edge of her bed. "Of course it is. Is there a reason you chose to come in here?"

"Not that this isn't huge too, but there's something intimidating about a bedroom where when you enter it you're still twenty paces from the bed."

"You've never complained before," countered Liara teasingly.

"You've always been in it before." Shepard grinned. "I find myself remarkably able to tune out other distractions when you're present."

"I'll have to add that to your list of redeeming qualities, Shepard. 'Proper attention to detail'. Definitely a good thing to have when distractions might impact performance."

When Shepard just rolled her eyes, Liara continued. "More reports?" She indicated the datapad.

Shepard's smile dimmed a few notches. "No. I had a pretty heavy conversation with Denai this evening, and I needed something to take my mind off it."

Liara didn't press. When Shepard was ready to share it with her, she would. "So? What are you reading then?"

"The Warrior's Path."

"Is it fction? It sounds almost Krogan." Liara reached for the pad.

Shepard chuckled. "It's definitely fiction, but it's not Krogan, it's Asari."

"An adventure novel?" Liara clicked away from the Standard translation and started flipping through screens.

"Trashy romance. I had no idea that kind of thing existed on Thessia, but it's good to know that while Asari might have written some of the galactic classics, you have people who write crap too."

Liara's opinion of the reading material dropped several notches. She tilted her head while holding the pad as if she wanted to drop it. "This is appealing to you?" She pointed to a passage. "I am almost certain that this would cause injury." She gave Shepard a teasing smile.

"Give that back," Sarah snatched the datapad away from Liara. "I don't pick on your reading choices."

"'How can you possibly read something that boring' isn't picking on my reading selections?"

"At least I don't bring textbooks to bed!" Shepard deflected.

"And I do not bring weapons to bed."

"Hey, I don't actually have them in the bed, they're just good to have close by…"

Liara silenced her bondmate's protest with a kiss.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Shepard was floating in nothingness.

Her hardsuit had finally given up on her. Shepard found herself grateful for the conscience of the Alliance programmer who set time limits beyond which cortical stimulation and medi-gel would no longer be applied.

All in all, not the worst way to go, she decided. She'd been in a lot more pain in her career.

She closed her eyes in acceptance of the inevitable.

 _'_ _Liara…'_

* * *

A/N: Assumptions here include:

FemShep/Liara  
Post ME1 ending - after the Battle of the Citadel, before beginning of ME2

Shepard is:  
Colonist / Vanguard / War Hero

As always, feedback is welcome and desired.


	23. Frustration

**Summary:**

Liara has both more and less authority in her position than she would hope. Shepard starts another politically focused day.

 **Notes:**

More time on Thessia.  
For those that missed it, there are several (non chronological) shorts that are part of this series now bundled under "Cari'ssi'mi Drabbles"

* * *

Liara quietly left Shepard's bedroom. It had been difficult to resist the temptation to drift off in Shepard's arms, her entire being wrapped in the human's comforting strength. There was simply far too much to do for her to allow herself that luxury. She made a mental note to send Shepard a list of alternative reading choices as she padded softly down the hall to her own chambers. She had no idea how such a work had even made it into the House library. Honestly.

A short time later, freshly showered and wearing one of her loose fitting _hi'daa_ robes, she returned to her downstairs office.

Porosha met her at the doorway, pressing a cup of hot tea into Liara's hands as she stepped through the entrance. Liara nodded in gratitude as she took a sip. Porosha then turned to follow a handful of other maidens as they slipped out the side door, having already prepared Liara's workspace for the evening. Liara smiled approvingly. Unlike Shepard, she was under no misconception that the staff didn't watch the pair of them constantly, continually working to make sure that their needs were met as closely and as unobtrusively as possible.

The various servants and acolytes of the household had learned the benefits of keeping such actions as unnoticed by Shepard as possible, however. The cooking staff in particular endeavored to have every meal prepared before Shepard's arrival, so as to lessen the chance of the human joining them in the kitchen. Sometimes they succeeded. Liara smiled at the memory of a particularly messy episode when Shepard had attempted to teach one of the House cooks how to make fudge. The result had been worth it, and it was a reminder to Liara that even with sugar in her hair, Shepard managed to surrender none of her authority or respect.

Liara desperately wished she was able to do the same.

She walked past Alaya, who had remained waiting by Liara's desk as the others left them to their privacy.

"Good evening, Peeress," Alaya nodded while performing _lidifemea_ as the maiden passed her.

Liara flashed the matriarch an angry look as she put down her cup. Yet another reminder. At least Alaya had yet to call her "little one" during this visit. Such a slip would have warranted a public rebuke.

"…Liara."

"Alaya." Liara settled in behind her desk. "Need we have this discussion again? Is my authority here so tenuous that it must be carried on a title, even in private?" Like Shepard, being addressed by the honorific annoyed her when out of public view, albeit for different reasons.

"I apologize, My Lady. I have no excuse. I can only blame years of habit." Liara chose not to reply, and simply waited in silence until Alaya selected a datapad from among those on the desk and attempted to hand it to her. "The most recent list of applicants."

"Mmmm." She kept her eyes on Alaya, offering no encouragement as she instead reached for her tea.

"Nagalia's recommendations are at the top," the matriarch finally prompted when Liara took no further action.

"Mmm mm," Liara again gave her nothing as she sipped her tea. At least this time her lack of response was only half in anger.

"How was the call with the Conclave?" Alaya now took a different tactic in an effort to re-engage her, as the _seneschal_ put the datapad back on the desk instead of continuing to hold it out to Liara.

The teacup struck the surface of the desk with enough force for Liara to cause Alaya to worry about the porcelain. "It was as I anticipated. The Security Committee concurs with the rest of the Conclave, as well as with the Citadel Council, in that they do not recognize the Reapers as an immediate threat. They will be happy to review their position if circumstances change, but otherwise they are unwilling to discuss the matter further." She looked up at Alaya, her anger clearly visible. "Additionally, they let me know that if I wished to appeal their decision, they would be open to such a filing in a decade or so, after 'the emotions of the moment' have had time to settle."

She finally picked up the datapad, only to toss it back on the desk with a clatter. "At least they haven't all lost their minds. More than a dozen members of the Conclave contacted me privately, letting me know that I and House T'Soni have their 'full and total' backing." She snorted, "Just so long as they did not have to do anything, provide any resources, or publicly come out in support of my position." She shook her head. "Honestly I think they were each only being polite so that they would have a chance of ending up on Shepard's social schedule."

"The commander remains popular on Thessia, Peere… Liara. There is nothing wrong with using that popularity to your advantage," counseled Alaya.

Liara's hooded look communicated she was well aware, but she responded anyway. "That is only going to work for so long as Shepard believes there is any value to it. Matriarch Stallura's work with Khos has been nothing short of incredible. If Shepard comes to believe that there is no purpose in continuing to attempt to convince the matriarchs to support our cause, she will instead focus her attention on assisting with our own assets. She hates being the focus of public attention, but we are benefitting from both her popularity and her celebrity. So long as members of the other great houses are busy inviting Shepard to lunch, they are spending less time considering if they could get a better deal when selling resources to Stallura."

"And Stallura is known to the Conclave. She has credibility with them. The various republics and great houses will work with her in good faith, even if they do not agree with the family's stated purpose," added Alaya.

"Whereas I am seen as an inexperienced child, unnecessarily attempting to involve herself in the affairs of adults," Liara spat out in frustration. "I'm expected to shoulder the burdens of a matriarch, of being the Head of a Great House, while all the while 'remembering my place' and 'capitulating to the wisdom of my elders'." She shook her head as she gave voice to the problem she'd been dealing with all day.

"This has always been our way." Liara could see that Alaya was trying to tread carefully. "The T'Soni name has no small influence on Thessia. The Conclave would likely not have agreed to a private audience with you at all, were you not who you are. You would have had to petition during a routine legislative session, probably unsuccessfully. Your family and station is providing you with some advantage, even if you believe it to not be enough."

Liara might be the asari behind the desk, but the look she gave in return was pure Benezia. "Confident belief in their own superiority is going to get them killed. It will get us all killed. The fact that the Conclave is willing to allow events to unfold before taking action will doom the entire Republics, not just Thessia."

"And continuing to escalate your argument will do nothing to dissuade them of their opinion. You know this," Alaya chided. "The matriarchs will simply entrench themselves in opposition to you."

"They would have listened to Mother!" Liara finally voiced the actual root of her frustration.

"And you are not your mother," Alaya repeated one of Liara's oft spoken statements back to her. "This is not an unexpected circumstance, nor one that you did not willingly agree to when you accepted ascension. The matriarchs are doing what would be expected of them, and that is to wait and see what advantages can be had now that House T'Soni is led by someone who is perceived to be an ingénue. If I may be so bold, you are a maiden with no known political prowess, someone who is believed to have fled your House instead of accepting your role within it. No matter how skillfully you navigate this political environment, your lack of experience works against you. The Conclave worked both with and against your mother or centuries. She had both enemies and alliances, she owed favors, and had earned favors. She was a loyal ally and a fierce enemy. More than anything else, she had the respect of the Conclave. To expect an equal level of regard and consideration would be unreasonable. You _know_ this," Alaya stressed that last.

Liara did know that Alaya was right, but it wasn't enough. Somehow she had to find a way to overcome more than thirty thousand years of societal norms. If she couldn't, they were all dead. "To expect logic from a gathering of matriarchs is also apparently unreasonable." The maiden was just venting now, voicing in frustration an opinion that she did not truly believe. "There is no way for us to prepare for the reapers on our own. All of the Republics could not stand against them. We have no idea how much time that Shepard has bought us with the defeat of Sovereign. It is reckless to waste a single minute that can be spent in preparation for the coming onslaught."

Alaya gave Liara a moment to collect herself before responding. "Perhaps it was the very defeat of the Reaper dreadnaught,"

"Sovereign," Liara interrupted.

"Perhaps it was the very defeat of Sovereign that gives the Conclave a false sense of security. If the first Reaper encountered in modern times could be defeated in a single battle, how much of a threat can they be?"

Liara closed her eyes before responding. This was an argument she'd already faced several times that day. "Enough of a threat that every intelligent race that has ever had the discussion that you and I are having how has been wiped from existence. Every one! In the entire history of the galaxy!" Liara regrouped. "How the Conclave could perceive the Battle of the Citadel as an easy victory, again, defies all logic. The Citadel fleet was decimated. The turian contingent will take years to recover, and our own fleet did not fare much better. If the humans had not chosen to mount a suicidal defense of the Destiny Ascension, the entire political landscape of Citadel Space would be in flux."

"At Shepard's order," Alaya pointed out.

"At Admiral Hackett's order," Liara corrected. "Shepard only provided input."

"Input with which you disagreed." Alaya cocked her head. "You would have seen the Ascension destroyed, the Council killed?"

"The Ascension is of less value as an asset than the ships that were lost to save her."

"I'm certain that Tevos and Lidanya would agree with your assessment, Peeress." Alaya was deliberately provoking.

The barely veiled disrespect had the desired effect, and Liara instantly regained her usual composure. "Matriarch Lidanya and I have had this discussion, _Seneschal_. She did in fact agree with my assessment. It was Shepard's opinion that she found to be tactically unsound, despite the personal benefit that she derived from Admiral Hackett's decision."

Liara quieted even further as she continued. "Shepard allowed so many to be sacrificed. Some she knew, many she didn't, but they are not just numbers to her. She berates herself for every decision made, every life lost. I can tell how much it hurts her, but she will not yet to discuss it with me."

"She saved far more, as you well know." Alaya went further, "And despite your current difficulties, Sarah's decision has no doubt had a more positive impact on your interaction with the Conclave than if she had decided the other way."

Liara's burning eyes told Alaya that the maiden was indeed aware of the benefits her cause received from humanity's sacrifice. "That is why I have made so little effort to engage Sarah in such a conversation. The discussion that she had with Lidanya on the Citadel was difficult enough. The fact that both she, I, and the Republics itself benefitted from her decision only makes Shepard feel more guilt, despite the fact that it was an unintended outcome."

 _"Seneschal,"_ Liara took a deep breath as she made a deliberate effort to suppress the anger she'd nearly allowed to consume her. "I value your counsel, but in this case it appears that you you agree with the Conclave. It seems that my only recourse is to allow time and experience to perform the task of granting me the credibility I need with the matriarchs." She shook her head. "You and I disagree on this. The patience and 'long view' that our species is known for is of no use to us in this case. Let us move on for now. What else do you have for me?"

Alaya placed another datapad before the maiden. "Matriarch Heulphea has made an request for House T'Soni to subsidize further expansion of the spaceport. Her justification is that the House will benefit from upgraded facilities and the additional capacity." When Liara didn't respond, she continued. "Although she does not come out and say so, she implies that in return, Armali would consider favorable taxation classification on business activity that could be said to work towards addressing the reaper threat."

Liara reached for her tea, starting now to cool, as she skimmed the pad in front of her. "She is very clear in stating her needs, but less so in what she offers in return. She speaks in generalities. She offers no guarantees."

"Not explicitly, no."

Liara sat back in her chair. "How often did Heulphea come to my mother for similar expenditures, similar investments?"

"I would not go so far as to use the word 'often', Liara. However, your mother was a valued contributor to municipal causes in the province."

"What benefit has my mother received from her contributions to Armali's well being, Seneschal? I see no municipal spaces named in her honor. No schools, no government buildings are dedicated to her gifts to the province." She looked up at the matriarch. "Heulphea offered no support to House T'Soni in the Conclave today, Alaya. None. She spoke no words lamenting the absence of a valued member of our community. The memory of her 'friendship' with my mother might as well not have existed, until now. Until the moment she decided to play on my mother's name for a grant that she will likely use to bring competing interests into the region."

"Perhaps," Alaya nodded at the possibility. "Or she may simply be testing to see if Armali has the same relationship with House T'Soni under your leadership that she enjoyed under your mother. This may not be a request for funds so much as an assessment of your responsiveness to a request in Armali's name."

Liara placed her hands on the desk as she stood. Her time with Shepard had had the unfortunate impact of instilling in her the habit of pacing when thinking out loud. She found it soothing, as much as she also thought it an inconvenient quirk of behavior.

"We shall support Armali so long as House T'Soni exists, Seneschal." She looked at Alaya to confirm the matriarch's understanding. "Let me be clear on that. Our destinies are eternally tied together." She turned back from the doorway that she had stopped short of walking through. "But our destinies are not so entwined with those of Matriarch Heulphea." She took a breath as her meandering took her around a couch. "It was with my mother that her rapport existed, with her that this 'mutually beneficial arrangement' lie." She met Alaya's uncomprehending gaze. "Are there any ministers that have been particularly easy to work with over the last few decades? Those who could be counted on to always work closely with House T'Soni interests?"

"There were always those who would work to ingratiate themselves to your mother," responded Alaya. "Of the current batch of ministers, there are three that I would consider to be 'closely aligned' to the House. They could each be counted upon to support your mother and her desires." Liara looked over from her pacing, nodding for Alaya to continue. "They were those supported the House even as Benezia's interest in regional politics waned. Those who would not allow others to take advantage of Benezia's lack of availability. I would not expect them to act against the interests of Armali in their support of House T'Soni, however."

"Nor would it be reasonable for us to expect them to," agreed Liara. "But such consideration of our interests deserves recognition, does it not? This may be an opportune time to provide such recognition, to communicate that their support is appreciated, particularly in such trying times. We could reach out to these three and gauge each of their interests in public support of war preparation. If even one shows willingness, perhaps she will have needs of her own. She might benefit our from investment in the areas of infrastructure, or economic development in her name. Areas where supporting her will also benefit us in our preparations against the reapers."

Alaya continued where Liara left off, recognizing the maiden's plan. "This will elevate her over other ministers, Liara. It will become obvious that to support House T'Soni means to receive T'Soni support in return. Those who support you would see their fortunes improve, those who do not will find themselves voted out by those who do. This is a devious plan, Peeress." For this moment, Peeress she was. This was no longer Liara, this was the Head of House T'Soni. "You will find yourself with an extremely grateful proponent in the ministries. Over time, that could be parleyed into a power base that rivals your mother's."

"I hope so, Seneschal, but quickly. I cannot let our current lack of progress turn me from our path." Liara sat back down at her desk, nervous energy expended for the moment as she reached her decision. "We will select the minister from your list who has been most unwavering in their support of the House. We will ask how we may assist her. She will find us most accommodating of her needs, and public in our support of her initiatives.

"Perhaps a gathering of the ministers here at the estate?" Suggested Alaya. "Use that opportunity to introduce them to the idea that House T'Soni is available to them as a benefactor."

"No," Liara pulled up a list of Armali's ministers. "We must move quickly, but quietly. Whoever I select has to be without question in their loyalty to the House, their behavior above reproach."

"Why is that, Peeress?"

"There will times when I will ask her to act in secret, and such will provide opportunities for her to demonstrate her loyalty." She looked up at Alaya, "All without working against the interests of the province, of course."

"And if this person meets your expectations?"

Liara shrugged. "She may very well end up the premier of Armali." Liara reached for her tea as Alaya stared back at her incredulously. "It is always prudent to have a backup plan."

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Sarah woke to Liara's crest poking her in the eye. She chucked as she moved back slightly. It was surprising to her that this wasn't a more common occurrence. Still, it was better than waking with someone's hair in her mouth.

It was her fault anyway. For someone that had spent her adult life sleeping alone, sleeping in caves, tents, and even out in the open, Liara was not one for keeping to her own space. Ever since they'd started sharing a bed, Shepard would wake with Liara pressed as closely against her as the asari had been able to manage. Sarah had learned early on that sleeping on her back was a nearly certain way to wake up with Liara sleeping on top of her.

Of course, when she did so, Liara tended to keep her crest tucked under Sarah's chin, thus avoiding any risk of ocular damage. Liara loved soaking in the warmth of her human, and it was actually more comfortable for the both of them that way.

That arrangement also made it impossible for Shepard to get out of bed without waking her bondmate, so perhaps there was something to sleeping on her side after all.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

She stepped into the corridor, showered and dressed. Working out in the evenings still felt unnatural to her, but it allowed her to follow the regimen that Eliata has set up for her huntresses. She didn't mind exercising alone, but there was a certain camaraderie amongst the commandos in the House guard, that reminded her of the Normandy.

Besides, it gave her a chance to show off.

Sarah reached the first staircase on her way to the kitchen, where she was met by Denai and Teseka.

"Sarah, Peeress," she was greeted as she accepted a datapad from Denai.

"Did the schedule change?" She asked as she started down the stairs in her quest for coffee. Denai had met her at the staircase with her beverage of choice exactly once before the commander had put a hard stop to that behavior.

"Not significantly, Peeress," answered Denai from behind her. "Matriarch Suoslea must have published her meeting schedule, or otherwise announced your arrival in Dassus today. The meeting has been extended to accommodate additional attendees."

"Lovely." She tried to remove the cynicism from her voice as she continued. "An extra hour or two at the Ministry of…" she glanced at Denai questioningly.

"Intergovernmental Affairs, Peeress. It's on the next page." She indicated the pad in Shepard's hand.

"Intergovernmental Affairs," Sarah agreed. "Won't make that much of a difference in the grand scheme of things. Besides, when we meet in public venues there tends to be a lot more in the way of grandiose speeches, and a lot less annoyingly awkward silence."

Shepard appreciated that Denai refrained from pointing out that the awkward silence was usually on the commander's part as the trio entered the kitchen and Sarah carved a path through the staff on her way to her coffee.

Objective secured, Sarah turned back to Denai, carafe in hand as she poured her coffee. "What's the scoop on Suoslea? What buttons do I need to be pushing today?"

"The matriarch, while secure in her position, is not as popular as she might like." Denai stepped aside as Shepard started towards the staff dining area, "She will be using this as an opportunity to show herself in a flattering light, as someone who is engaged in events of the day, and who has connection to you and the House."

"Makes sense," Shepard say down across from a pair of maidens who quickly moved to make room for Denai and Teseka even as Sarah rolled her eyes. "Hence the extra tIme for meet and greet." She took a sip of her coffee. "I don't see how that hurts us though. We're going to Dassus, so we're going to lose most of the day to travel anyway." Travel time, that after last night's revelations, Shepard hoped to use to peel Denai like an onion. The matron had some deeply buried pain, and Sarah had no idea how to help. "I'll be friendly and appreciative. Has she done anything specific that she's known for? Maybe something I can congratulate her on to show that I took the time to read the dossier that I'm not going to read?"

Denai scowled at Teseka's attempt to stifle a laugh. "She is an accomplished, if unremarkable, legislator, Peeress. Several of our laws are attributed to her sponsorship, but none within your lifetime."

"I'd probably come off as just a bit insincere if I congratulated her on one of those then, don't you think?" Sarah added yet another spoonful of sugar to her coffee. "How long are we talking about?"

"The last piece of legislation sponsored by Matriarch Suoslea was voted into law in 1956." Denai smiled as she said it "I'm sure you followed the debates closely."

"Every day," confirmed Shepard as she dug into a plate filled with scrambled eggs and bury strips placed in front of her by a passing maiden. "It was riveting. I've never learned so much about," she paused with a look to Denai.

"Water rights, Peeress. A subject of some importance on Thessia, particularly for our landlocked provinces."

"I think I'll skip that particular discussion," said Shepard around a mouthful of eggs. "What else do we have?"

"The matriarch has a daughter…"

"Next," prompted Shepard unnecessarily.

Denai scrolled through the briefing that she'd already committed to memory. "The matriarch has made no official statements regarding humanity becoming a Council race, wither for or against. She has many friends in the Conclave, including Tevos, Heulphea, and Irissa herself."

"I know you're trying to tell me something, but as usual, you'll need to dumb it down for the human," Shepard prompted.

"Suoslea is unusual in that she is able to maintain alliances between several opposing power blocs and ideologies." At Shepard's questioning look, she continued. "Tevos is open to the sharing of knowledge and resources with other races. Heulphea has a more protectionist mindset, and believes that the asari are strongest when we hold ourselves separate from other species in the galaxy. And Irissa…"

"Yes?"

"Irissa is the leader of a small but powerful minority in the Conclave. They believe that the asari should take an active role in galactic affairs, but in a leadership role, not as a partner. They believe that membership in the Citadel Council is irrelevant, and in fact the creation of the Council itself was a mistake."

Sarah let out a low whistle. "Wonderful. The asari version of Cerberus."

"Not nearly so militaristic as that, Peeress, but they are strengthened by Irissa's support from her position as chancellor of the Conclave."

Shepard finished her coffee with a gulp. "And it was going to be such a good day, too. Do you have any good news, Denai?"

"It should stop raining in Dassus before we arrive."

"I bet you it doesn't."

* * *

A/N: Assumptions here include:

FemShep/Liara  
Post ME1 ending - after the Battle of the Citadel, before beginning of ME2

Shepard is:  
Colonist / Vanguard / War Hero

As always, feedback is welcome and desired.


	24. Complications

**Summary:**

Others have taken notice of House T'Soni's activities...

 **Notes:**

Winding up our time on Thessia.

For those that missed it, there are several (non chronological) shorts that are part of this series now bundled under "Cari'ssi'mi Drabbles"

* * *

"You know, I do hate being right all the time," Shepard complained, speaking for the first time after hours of silence.

"You would prefer to be wrong, Peeress?" Denai prompted from Shepard's left where she shared the back seat of the aircar. That elicited a chuckle from Teseka up front.

"Sometimes, yeah." She started ticking points off on her fingers. "About the Reapers, about Nihlus working alone, about the fact that someone thought it was a good idea for me to give a speech in a thunderstorm. I could go on and on."

"Those do not all seem to be of equivalent significance, Peeress," noted Denai.

"Well, I might be biased at the moment. I mean come on, the most advanced race in the galaxy, and no one on Thessia has ever heard of an umbrella?"

"Of course we have, Sarah." Denai paused as Shepard tried to run her fingers through her hair, currently a mess of tangled strands from wringing water out of it earlier. "There are often reasons to protect something from the elements."

"Yeah. Like me. I could have used some protection from the elements." Another chuckle. "Enough you," said Shepard not unkindly. "I couldn't help but notice that the security station was fully enclosed," she continued. "You didn't get a drop of water on you."

"The surveillance equipment was designed to operate only in dry conditions," Teseka now added to the conversation. "Otherwise I would have assigned myself to a sentry position on the stage."

"Also, what is this thing made of?" Sarah ignored Teseka's contribution as she indicated the dress that still clung heavily to her form. "I thought it weighed a ton before, but it must have absorbed twenty kilos of water when I was on stage. It was as heavy as wearing my armor."

"And yet you gave no indication of discomfort throughout the ceremony, Peeress." Shepard looked through tangled bangs at Denai, trying to ascertain if this was truly a congratulatory comment. "Any observer would have presumed that you revel in the rain as much as any asari."

Definitely snark, Sarah concluded as she replied. "Usually I'm in my uniform you know. Alliance issue may not be comfortable, but you'd have to go for a swim in it before it would absorb anything close to this much water."

Denai, who had been equally soaked at the event, simply shrugged. "Undue effort in keeping water off of one's person is rarely a priority on Thessia."

Shepard nodded, remembering Benezia's funeral. Rain had been expected then too, but there hadn't been an umbrella in sight. Most of the effort to seek shelter after Benezia's release had been driven by the offworld guests. Once the rainfall began, it had only been asari that had tried to pay individual respects to a grieving Liara. "I get that. Even without taking asari evolution into account, the fact that you don't look like a drowned rat after a downpour probably helps."

"I assure you, no one placed any inordinate importance on the appearance of your hair," consoled Denai. "If anything, the fact that you responded to the rain like any of the other citizens present, likely only improved your standing with them."

Shepard rolled her eyes as she accepted Denai's compliment. "I wasn't really all that that worried about it, but thanks. Anyway, they probably couldn't even _see_ my hair. Honestly, who gives a speech in the pouring rain? I couldn't see the end of the stage, let alone the rest of the arena." She paused as Denai cocked her head. "Fine, fine. I'll chalk this up as another 'when in Rome' moment." She took on a more businesslike tone. "Speaking of the crowd I couldn't see, that wasn't exactly what I expected. How did we do?"

Denai was starting to learn her patrician's behaviors, and so took her cue from Shepard, becoming instantly professional as well. "Matriarch Suoslea gave no clear indication of support or opposition to House T'Soni's initiatives."

Sarah nodded her confirmation. "I saw that too, but it really wasn't a surprise. No one has spoken in support of what we're trying to do except in private, and even then only in Armali. I wasn't expecting a public endorsement, as nice as it might have been to finally get one. What do you think her opinion actually is?"

"Against," Denai replied without hesitation. "You yourself mentioned the crowd. With Tevos on-planet, it was not an unreasonable expectation for the Councilor to attend an event where you were a featured guest. The fact that she did not, and that Irissa did attend, indicates that Suoslea supports the Chancellor in leaning against the T'Soni initiative to push for Conclave action and prepare the Republics for war."

"And do you think this is from Suoslea herself, or is Irissa leaning on her?" At Denai's confused expression, Sarah clarified "Is Irissa applying political pressure on Suoslea?"

"That is always a possibility, Peeress," Denai conceded, "But in this case I would believe that Suoslea already views Irissa as an ally and not an adversary. She could easily have trumped Irissa by inviting Tevos to the event if she desired to give the impression of neutrality. By not doing so, she is at least tacitly endorsing Irissa's position."

"Great. And here I never thought I'd be happy to see Tevos. What does that mean for us?"

"Nothing that you were not already aware of, Peeress. The majority of the Conclave agrees with the Citadel Council in that the Reapers do not constitute a threat, and that even if they were, preparation for their arrival is not an immediate priority."

"So nothing's really changed then. I suppose I should be happy that it least it hasn't gotten any worse." She offered Denai the smallest of smiles. "Its been days since I offended a matriarch. I must be getting at least a little better at this."

"The event was everything that we could have likely hoped for, Peeress," Denai confirmed. "Both the public and private discussions with Suoslea and Irissa were cordial, if not productive, and if the crowd was any indication, your popularity with the general populace has not waned."

"They weren't _that_ cordial, Denai. I remember when I was inducted as a spectre and I thought Tevos was against it." At Denai's confused look, she continued. "That was before I knew Tevos started the whole thing. Still, compared to the sniping we did against each other while I was chasing Saren, she and I were practically best friends compared to the animosity I felt from Irissa. I don't think she's happy I'm on the same planet as her, let alone that I'm someone she has to deal with."

"The Chancellor's opinions are well known Peeress," Denai confirmed. "She was against humanity's council seat, and before that against your induction into the spectre corps. Now that those milestones are past, she does have to deal with their consequences, regardless of her opinion. I agree that she is not your ally, but her position does not allow her to take direction against you, so her displeasure will manifest in other ways."

"That's something anyway." Shepard flashed a momentary grin. "Like I said, I thought Tevos was bad. Could you imagine Irissa as the asari councilor? I wouldn't even have Tevos' past relationship with Benezia to temper her reactions." She shrugged as the car settled in for a landing. "I was hoping that we'd have good news for Liara, but that was probably too much to hope for, especially given how many of these we've been to. 'We love you, but not enough to do anything to help.'" She shook her head. "But we did learn one thing."

"Peeress?"

"I'll stand in the rain all day if that's what it takes to win this, but from now on we pack a change of clothes and a hairdryer."

"I'll see to it, Sarah," replied Denai as Teseka unsealed the aircar.

Shepard immediately bounded out and started trotting towards the house, leaving behind two somewhat confused asari.

"Peeress?" Denai called from behind her. "Will there be anything else?"

"Not now, thanks." Shepard called over her shoulder. "Liara's in a bad mood. I just want to see what's setting her off."

Shepard couldn't see the contemplative look that Denai cast upon her retreating form as she left the car behind her.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Liara sipped her tea as she focused on the presentation in front of her.

"As you can see Peeress, our progress is nearly thirty percent ahead of our most optimistic forecasts."

"Thank you, Iryra." Liara waved her hand in a motion to have the matron continue scrolling through the figures. "I could hardly believe it when Stallura informed me that our increases in productivity were matched by an even larger increase in proceeds. I feared that we would have begun expending our reserves by this point."

"A reasonable expectation Peeress, but House reserves continue to grow. Through Khos, House T'Soni now controls such a large percentage of shipbuilding capacity that the increased demand precipitated by the Battle of the Citadel provides significant income, despite your instruction that we not engage in any form of predatory pricing." When Liara failed to reply, she continued, "In fact, as many of our competitors have engaged in such activities, our market share continues to expand."

"And our stockpiles?"

"Construction is nearly complete at all facilities. Recruiting is expected to begin within three weeks, and then the work of actually accumulating and storing inventory."

Liara nodded as she took in the information before her, before continuing on to the news she knew to be negative.

"What is our current position with the Conclave?"

"Insurmountable, Peeress." Iryra knew better at this point than to try to shield Liara from the truth.

"You are certain?" The question was cursory, there was no hope to be discerned in Liara's tone.

"Without doubt," came the reply. "Our research has not revealed a single matriarch on the Conclave willing to vote in favor of backing an initiative that favors preparation for a Reaper invasion in any way."

Liara remained quiet for a time. The first few times that Iryra had mentioned 'research' or 'intelligence' had caused her to question those sources, but so far they had all proven unerringly accurate. All of the data that had found its way to her since her arrival on Thessia had been reliable to a degree that it could only have been collected by first party sources. At least now she understood the nonspecific concerns that Alaya had voiced about Denai. Liara found herself to be increasingly dependent on the growing trove of information she unexpectedly found herself with. Liara knew that Shepard wouldn't necessarily agree with the methods of acquisition, but she could work on that. She smiled inwardly. ' _It is almost like I am becoming an information broker,_ ' she thought. There would be more humor in the idea if their lives weren't so dependent on this data.

"Several of the matriarchs have indicated their support…" she began.

"None that will actually vote in favor, Peeress." Iryra shook her head. "The overwhelming opinion is one of disbelief. The Citadel Council itself is rejecting Shepard's claim. Without their backing, no matriarch is willing to stand against the majority."

"Of course not," Liara agreed bitterly. "I just needed to say it, to reinforce to myself that all of those words given in support were false."

"Truth and politics seldom mix, Peeress. It is easy to lie when nothing depends on it."

"Their lives depend on it. Everyone's lives depend it. 'As goes Thessia, so goes the Council.' Shepard reminded me of that herself. Thessia should be providing an example to the galaxy, not coming to heel behind those would deny the evidence of their own eyes." Liara paused to collect herself. "It will serve them right if the Reapers come in their lifetime."

"Personally, I'm against that particular development, not that we get a vote." Shepard walked into Liara's office slightly out of breath, taking Liara's tea from her hand before kissing her lightly on the nose. "It sounds like you've had just as unproductive a day as we did, and I didn't think that was even possible."

Liara couldn't help herself from smiling at Shepard, even as she relayed the bad news. "It has not been entirely without success. I believe that we have some allies in the Conclave, those that will assist the House when needed, in exchange for certain considerations." At Shepard's raised eyebrows she continued, "But not in regards to preparing for the Reapers."

"Oh good. We'll get the spaceport named after you, just not any ships to launch from it, is that it?"

"Actually Peeress," Iryra added from beside the human, "Ships will likely not be an issue. Stallura has exceeded our most optimistic projections, even when taking the ships that will be sold to generate revenue into account."

Shepard smiled as she nodded her agreement. "Stallura's amazing. She's getting more out of Khos than I ever dreamed possible, and she makes it look easy! She should be teaching a logistics class at the academy." She paused at the memory of her meetings with the matriarch since arriving on Thessia. "She made me feel welcome, even important, both times I went out to Mosoth, but I also got the feeling that the way I could be most helpful was to just stay out of her way."

"You haven't had the time to visit Khos more often even if you wanted to, Shepard," commented Liara.

"Probably a good thing," Sarah reflected. "Staying out of people's way isn't exactly my strong suit."

"Then it is a good thing that no one has asked that of you. You remain a popular public figure, one that the matriarchy continues to show public support for," noted Liara.

"Sure," conceded Sarah. "Not that it's doing us any good. Every matriarch on Thessia wants the Hero of the Citadel to come out for a photo op on their home turf. These visits benefit them, not us."

"But they do help, Shepard." Liara took her tea back from the commander. "We both know that the matriarchs are using the publicity surrounding your visits to their advantage. That public support also means that they will be forced to be circumspect when working against us, as they surely will when our actions work to their disadvantage."

Sarah snorted. "Yeah, us keeping them alive is going to be such the hardship."

"No, but when they are forced to compete with us for commodities they are not going to care why their costs have increased, only that they have. Iryra is already beginning to see unrest in certain markets."

"That's true Peeress," Iryra picked up where Liara left off. "Several of the more rare alloys are already beginning to spike, and our competitors have been unable to raise their prices to compensate, given our market share and unwillingness to adjust our own pricing."

"That's going to piss people off for sure," agreed Shepard.

"And the larger corporations tend to have the backing of matriarchs or other Great Houses," added Liara.

"Meaning that my time in the spotlight is going to end sooner rather than later, I get it." Shepard accepted a cup of coffee from a member of the staff. "Not that it matters. Once we head back to Arcturus I won't be available to be a distraction."

"Honestly Shepard, I do not see how this could have gone better had we planned it. For a human to become so popular on Thessia was something I had never foreseen. Your people are so new, so unknown. For you to have been so embraced by the asari people, it just…"

"Yes?"

"It gives me hope, Shepard."

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

She walked into the bar with something that wasn't quite distaste, but certainly wasn't pleasure. The booth where she was to have her rendezvous was the furthest from the door. No surprises there. She tried to ignore the slight resistance she felt in lifting her shoes from the floor as she walked across the room. It had been no small amount of time since Alaya had been in an establishment such as this. That was, she suspected, why it had been chosen.

When she reached her booth, she hesitated before sitting down. The light far too dim to clearly see the condition of the table, but given her surroundings, her expectations were low. Expediency got the best of her as she forced herself to sit. In the worst case she could always discard her clothing, and she knew her companion wouldn't join her until she was seated. A bored looking maiden appeared at the booth after a moment, and Alaya chose a whisky as the best of bad choices.

The drink came quickly, and she slowly nursed it while she waited for her companion to arrive. The whisky was salarian at least, but unsurprisingly was not one of their best. She waited long enough for the waitress to check on her three more times, the final visit including a look that said she needed to order or make room for someone who would. She wasn't going anywhere, at least not until she was released, so her conscience forced her to order an appetizer. Serving two masters was never pleasant, but she owed a life debt to the one she was waiting for. She had never imagined that such might eventually create conflict with her service to the House, but she would face that circumstance as best she could.

Any situation could always be worse, she reminded herself. Benezia had proven that. No reason to borrow trouble. Looking on the bright side of her current situation, at least her drink had come in a clean glass.

So focused was she on tuning out her surroundings that she was startled when the matriarch slipped into the booth across from her. Aethyta graced her with a sardonic look.

"Nice place, huh?" Her companion asked as she called for a pair of drinks with a curl of her fingers in the bartender's direction.

Alaya judged the matriarch's mood as being somewhat lighter than during their last meeting. She allowed some of the tension to ease from her shoulders. She'd have to have someone help her with the rest when she returned to the estate. After a shower of course. She settled back into her seat at the thought. She was slightly more comfortable now, but not enough for her to lose focus.

She decided to meet sarcasm with candor. "It's a shithole." She finished her whisky as another was placed in front of her.

"Aren't you judgmental. You used to be tough. No one would guess that you grew up in the Terminus. A couple centuries at the estate has turned you into a sycophant. There's no fight left in you."

"It could be my heritage that allows me to appreciate it more, Matriarch."

"That's exactly what I mean. The Alaya I remember would have told me to fuck off, and thrown her drink in my face for good measure." Aethyta eyed Alaya contemplatively from across the table. "You had quite the temper when you were a huntress."

"I'm still a huntress."

"Are you now," Aethyta shook her head before continuing on as if uninterrupted. "I remember when it was difficult to hold you back, so focused were you on the mission." She knocked back her shot of whisky. "But now? I see I can make you nervous, but I wonder what it would take to piss you off."

"Less than you think, Matriarch."

"Good." She chuckled as she signaled for another drink. "Maybe there's hope for you yet. I was afraid that I'd find you nothing but another toady."

Alaya sat in silence as Aethyta regarded her with what seemed like genuine curiosity.

"Nevermind." Aethyta waved away whatever line of thought she was about to pursue. "Down to business. Liara."

"She is well, Matriarch." Alaya replied, comfortable that she was on firmer ground.

"Is she. She's still following that spectre around like a starving varren. You were supposed to put an end to this."

"Sarah is her bondmate." A simple reply, but one that Alaya knew would grate on Aethyta, especially given the nature of their last interaction.

"Yeah, I heard that she calls her 'bondmate' now. The kid doesn't know what she's talking about. Just because she uses the word doesn't make it true. _Cari'ssi'mi_ wasn't enough." Aethyta's calm facade vanished as if it had never existed. "Fucking wonderful," she muttered. "It wasn't enough that Benezia almost destroyed the family. Now it's a human pulling the strings at the House." She looked up, as if seeking support from the heavens. "Maybe I should be glad she ended up infatuated with a human. Shepard will be long dead before Liara's old enough to want a binding ceremony, or worse, to get herself bonded." She shook her head. "Damn idiot kid."

"If I may Matriarch, it is Liara's house," Alaya corrected, "And she is coming into her own. Her control of the House is undisputed." She narrowed her gaze. "There is more of Benezia to her than you think."

"That's supposed to impress me? Look how Benezia ended up, and Nezzie had centuries of experience to draw from." Aethyta grunted. "I told you to bring Liara back into the fold, but you did nothing. And now, now any time I hear about House T'Soni, it's that human I see on the vids." She shook her head. "Her control doesn't look 'undisputed' to me. It looks to me like you're allowing the Head of a Great House to be exploited by an alien."

Now Alaya was angry. "Sarah is no alien."

"'Sarah.' You think I don't know her name? I couldn't avoid hearing her name if I wanted to. It's fucking everywhere. I just don't give a shit about it, and it makes me sick to think of a human as the public face of Benezia's House."

"It is Liara's House," countered Alaya, "And Liara believes she is more effective operating in a less public manner than Sarah. You were concerned that Liara had lost her connection to the House, and I say that Liara is working harder to protect it than Benezia had in over a century. She is fully committed to our wellbeing. Liara's efforts are producing results, and she believes she has a reasonable amount of support."

If Aethyta was impressed at being challenged, it didn't show. "Really. The Conclave didn't seem to think so. The last Security Committee meeting practically laughed the blue off her ass. They are _not happy_ Alaya. I can't stress that enough. As far as the Security Committee is concerned, they're dealing with a child who's holding a loaded gun to Thessia's economy. How long do you think that's going to be allowed? Even from a T'Soni? Benezia wouldn't have been so reckless."

"And yet she will not change course. This is what Liara expected, although she did hope for better. She is not reckless, but unlike Benezia, Liara does not believe she has the benefit of time."

"If she expected anything less than the response she's seen, then you're giving her shitty advice, if you're advising her at all, _Seneschal."_ Aethyta accepted another drink. "She's in a hurry because she's a _fucking maiden_. Why can't you see that? She's intelligent, there's no question of that, but she's impatient. You have to hold her back before it's too late."

"Liara keeps her own council, although she welcomes input." Alaya didn't pursue how Aethyta knew the detail of what happened in the committee meeting, but decided to call her on it anyway. "And you chose not to attend the Conclave meeting at all. One might conclude that you're more afraid of confronting Liara than you are of working to ensure her success."

Aethyta's eyes blazed in anger, "You don't get to question me, _Seneschal,_ particularly not while you're letting her make a fool of herself, allowing her to run rampant with this idiotic 'Reaper' story. The kid spent too much time alone with her theories. It's made her susceptible to whatever nonsense that human's feeding her."

"I am not the only one who has neglected my duties to Liara, Matriarch." Gone was the uncertain Alaya, the one who had been caught off guard during her last meeting with Aethyta. A handful of months of House T'Soni having sure direction, albeit an unorthodox one, had allowed her to regain certainty in her role, and to draw strength from her position. "And Sarah is not 'that human'. As you yourself have said, she is cari'ssi'mi, and therefore the T'Soni heir."

"Not a chance." Aethyta shook her head. "The Conclave will never allow a human ascension. I'll make certain of it. Call her cari'ssi'mi if you want, but Shepard will never lead House T'Soni."

"I will oppose you in this." Alaya's voice was a monotone. "Sarah is Liara's bondmate and chosen successor until she has a child of her own. The commander would have the support of the house."

Aethyta barked out a laugh. "Good luck. Are you so desperate for leadership that you're willing to follow anyone? Is that what this is? Was your stewardship of House T'Soni so distasteful that even the ravings of a madwoman would be a welcome alternative? Had I known that you were going to allow such idiocy, I would have challenged Liara's ascension myself. House T'Soni would have been better kept in trust until she was old enough to make rational decisions."

Alaya took a slow drink while maintaining eye contact with Aethyta. "I did challenge it, and it was wrong of me. Liara reminded me of my place. I am grateful to her for doing so."

"Then you're as naive as she is. Her status could be challenged even now, you know. House T'Soni is too important to be seen as behaving in a way that is damaging to Thessia, or to the Republics at large. All it would take is one call…"

"By you?" Alaya interrupted. "Don't make me laugh. You have about as much credibility with the Conclave as a maiden fresh from dancing on Omega. Your little pissing match with Tevos ruined any political standing you might have. If you really thought you could have stopped it, you would have. The Conclave confirmed Liara's ascension, and allowed her to Name Sarah. Tevos was there, and her approval was implied, if never stated."

"Careful. My power doesn't come from the Conclave, and my 'political standing" isn't why they tolerate me."

"I was _there_ , Aethyta. I know who's loyal to you. I wore the damn uniform. I am very well aware why the Conclave chooses to endure your behavior. Why some of them fear you, even now. Be careful that they don't fear you too much. Benezia tempered their response for many years, but she's gone now. Sometimes it's easier to make a problem go away no matter what the consequences."

"You think I don't know that? What happens when Irissa decides that Shepard's too much of a problem? Or worse, Liara? You were supposed to keep this from happening, Alaya! If Liara had been contained, this wouldn't be an issue. But now? You think Irissa wouldn't give the order? I knew you were naive, I didn't think you were stupid. "

"Nor is Irissa. Assassinating the Head of a Great House? It would mean civil war. There's no way Irissa could hold the confidence of the Conclave in the face of such an act."

"You tell yourself that. It wouldn't be the first time. One of the few things spectres are good for is untraceable hits."

Alaya simply nodded. "True, but in that case this issue resolves itself. Tevos is not your ally, but neither would she move to harm Liara." She paused to collect her thoughts. "Sarah, I'm not as sure about Sarah. There's something there, obviously, but even Shepard does not seem to understand what it is. Yet no matter how they clash, Sarah seems to believe on some level that Tevos is an ally." She looked directly at Aethyta. "In any case, Tevos would never sanction such an action, which does limit Irissa's options, even if she were to make such an irrational request."

"Not so irrational that someone wouldn't follow it." Aethyta finished her drink. "Spectres aren't the only agencies out there that are skilled in wetwork, as you well know." She shook her head. "And I thought it was a pain in the ass keeping the kid alive before."

"No commando or mercenary would find either of them to be an easy mark, Aethyta." Alaya wasn't attempting to console the matriarch, it was a simple statement of fact.

"Thinking like that is when people get killed. There's a reason there aren't many old commandos."

"An ironic comment given who it's coming from."

"Enough of this shit. I'm telling you, you need to contain her. You need to get her under control before it's too late and someone decides to take the easy way out."

"She is the Head of House T'Soni. She has my fealty." Alaya met Aethyta's gaze calmly. The moment had come, and she made her choice with a clear conscience.

"No matter the consequence?"

"I would think that's your problem now, Aethyta. You speak of your 'power'. Perhaps this is your time to exercise it." She rose, refusing to wince as her dress peeled itself away from her seat. "Thanks for the drinks." She turned and walked out the door.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Aethyta sat for a few minutes, wondering just how the world had so rapidly turned on its head. Alaya had been loyal to her for centuries. This was a battle she'd been sure she'd win. Alaya had lost her backbone with her leathers. To see the commando she'd known suddenly resurface, and then turn on her just as quickly, was as unexpected as it was confusing.

It made, she reflected, just about as much damn sense as Liara taking control of a Great House while still a maiden, naming a human as her heir, and both of them building a military to fight an imaginary enemy. That stupid, stupid, kid.

Well, her arrogance had gotten the better of her today. So certain had she been about how this would play out that she'd made no allowance for failure. Time to accept the consequences of that little misstep. A thousand years old and she still didn't know shit.

She opened her omni-tool and dialed the code she'd memorized earlier in the day.

"And?" Came the immediate reply.

"She won't do it. I think she thinks she's on some kind of sacred mission, and that supporting Liara's going to make up for what happened with Benezia."

"You're not making sense."

"Fuck. I don't know Tevos, I have no idea what she's thinking. She wouldn't listen to me. She was almost proud about telling me to go to hell."

"I can't say I'm surprised about that."

"Well good for you. Anyway, I told you I'd ask. I asked." Aethyta made to break the connection.

"No, you told me you'd succeed, that you'd get her under control. You didn't. That forces the Conclave to consider less… savory options."

"Fuck you Tevos. You so much as touch a freckle on that kid and I'll…"

"You'll what, 'Thyta? Try to frighten me with stories about commandos that haven't put on leathers in five hundred years? That may work with some, but I know you. I know what you've been doing out in the Traverse, and I don't think anyone's going to be intimidated by your bartending skills."

"Keeping a low profile doesn't mean I've lost my skills, or my contacts. Remember that Tevos."

"I'm sorry, but you've left me in a bad position. You promised to get Liara under control, and now you're telling me you can't. If you don't have anything else to offer, that leaves me at the will of the Conclave."

Aethyta's mind raced. She'd had the kid tailed for years, but nothing had prepared her for this. Bondmates with a spectre? Spreading tales of an intergalactic boogieman? None of it made any sense. At the same time, the Conclave wasn't as powerful as it was by letting others usurp their control.

"I'll do it myself."

"You'll do it?" Even over scrambled comm the shock in Tevos' voice was discernible. "You'd accept a contract on your own daughter?"

"What? No you idiot. I'll watch her. I'll hold vigil. Let the Conclave know that if she tries to do something stupid, I'll be the one to stop her."

"No one's going to believe you." There was pity in Tevos' voice now. "Even with your reputation no one would accept that Matriarch Aethyta would take a hit on her own child."

"I didn't say 'hit' I said 'stop'. She's leaving with that human of hers soon anyway. Not much harm she can do from that toy warship of theirs. And when they're not on board, I'll keep an eye on her."

"Don't make me regret this 'Thyta. You don't deserve this chance, not from me."

Aethyta sagged with relief. "Shut up Tevos, I got this." She disconnected before sinking heavily back into her seat.

"Fuck."

* * *

A/N: Assumptions here include:

FemShep/Liara  
Post ME1 ending - after the Battle of the Citadel, technically before the beginning of ME2 (but not for much longer)

Shepard is:  
Colonist / Vanguard / War Hero

As always, feedback is welcome and desired.


	25. Pressure

**Summary:**

Shepard and Liara are ready to return to their mission. Liara to prove the existence of the Reapers, and Shepard to stop them.

Others however, would prefer the status quo.

 **Notes:**

Almost there! It looked like we would make it to the beginning of ME2 in Chapter 25, but alas it was not to be.

For those that missed it, there are several (non chronological) shorts that are part of this series now bundled under "Cari'ssi'mi Drabbles"

* * *

"So now what?"

"Now _Counselor_ ," Hackett replied with irony, "We push her out of the limelight for a while. We keep her busy. We get her off the vids."

"It might be too late for that. She's already started stirring things up on Thessia."

Hackett nodded. "Which you only know about because of Tevos. I haven't seen anything about that on the vids, so no one seems to consider it newsworthy. Has Tevos complained?"

Anderson tilted his head as he considered. "I wouldn't say she'd been complaining. Actually, I don't think I've ever heard her complain. She talks about Shepard often, but it's more like she's commenting while waiting for something to happen. Or perhaps for something not to happen."

"Is she waiting for us to shut Shepard up? Is that it?" Hackett didn't quite pounce on the statement, but it was obvious he didn't want to risk the ire of the Council. "We're already going to ship her off to the Terminus. She can't cause much trouble for the Council from there."

"No, it's more like waiting to see what she's going to do next," he paused. "Valern and Sparatus a little too, but I think they might just be reacting to Tevos."

"Why doesn't she just ask Shepard? Why don't you, for that matter? She's a goddamn spectre, as she takes great pleasure in reminding me when she postpones an Alliance mission. I thought with you on the Council all this ambiguous guessing game crap was behind us."

"It doesn't work like that Steven," Anderson winced internally as he reflected how quickly he'd gotten used to calling the admiral by his first name. "Even between the counselors there are secrets. Plans within plans. No one wants to be the first to show their cards." He shook his head. "We have meetings just to agree to have another meeting."

"Tevos showed us some of her cards. She nominated Shepard to be a spectre. There had to be a reason."

"She supported me for counselor too. It doesn't mean I know why."

"Because you're close to Shepard, obviously. The Saren mission taught them that bringing Shepard to heel might not be as easy as they might like." Hackett said dismissively. "The commander certainly taught me that lesson. Also, Udina's an idiot."

"Exactly. Udina _is_ an idiot. But don't you think the asari would be better served with a weak counselor in humanity's seat? Wouldn't all the other council races? But first with Shepard, now with me, it seems like Tevos is working to assist humanity into a position of power."

"Power to do what, exactly?"

"Tevos is scared, Admiral. I mean really scared."

"She doesn't seem frightened to me."

"She's ten times your age, too. You're right though, you don't see it in her, but you do see it in her people. The nervous looks, the hushed discussions. Staff volunteering for posting to remote colonies. Long time aides who take personal leave and never come back. For such a long lived race, the asari delegation is turning over at a rate that's creating some discussion. Then there's the time she spends with Sha'ira."

"The consort?"

"She has to talk to someone. I don't know anyone else with her reputation to keep a secret. Tevos clearly knows something is coming, and she doesn't think they'll be able to handle it when it comes. Her staff has even less faith along those lines than she does."

Hackett nodded. "The Reapers."

"That's an obvious answer, sure, but I don't know if that's all of it. If it were, why try to keep it a secret?"

"What else could it be?" They were talking in circles, and Hackett's impatience was beginning to show.

"Why don't you just ask T'Soni? You've got her working for you now, and she isn't going to go running to the Council if she doesn't like what you have to say." Anderson was starting to feel impatient as well.

"Doctor T'Soni has to feel that she's a free agent. She was starting to become open with me in her reports and communication, and I need to encourage that. If I start pumping her for data she's only going to clam up."

"You're an asari psychologist now?"

Hackett paused for a moment, letting Anderson know that counselor or no, he was close to crossing a line. "I've been around young recruits my whole life. Doctor T'Soni is intelligent, but she's pragmatic too. When Shepard's between a rock and a hard place, Liara needs to see me as a place to go for help. Shepard sure as hell won't admit weakness."

"She may not need your help. It isn't like she doesn't have resources of her own."

"Not in the Alliance, she doesn't. And if the Saren debacle is any indication, I'm willing to bet that when shit hits the fan, neither one of them will be looking to the Council for help either." Hackett turned for a moment to answer someone not visible on Anderson's comm. "But that doesn't answer the damn question of what's going on."

"Shepard has something to do with it, she has to. But like I said, I don't know what. They're monitoring her, Steven. Reports come in on her daily. Not just her, but T'Soni too."

"T'Soni, _T'Soni_ …" murmured the admiral.

"Steven?"

"You've said before that their relationship isn't a problem for the asari, or for Tevos."

"Not that I'm aware of, and Tevos herself seems to condone it. She offers to 'relay greetings' when she visits the T'Soni estate, which she's done at least twice since Shepard went on leave. I think she's grateful for the distraction. Whatever everyone's nervous that Shepard might be doing, if the commander's spending time with Liara, she's not doing it."

"What if we've got it wrong, David?" Hackett asked suddenly.

"Wrong?" The counselor replied quizzically.

"What if Shepard isn't the one they're trying to keep distracted?"

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Dr. Karin Chakwas was sitting in the cafe overlooking the Alliance docks, sipping her tea. The noise of the crowd filled the area, punctuated by the occasional PA announcement or alert signal. It was a far cry from the quiet stillness she'd grown accustomed to in the Normandy's medbay, but she drew comfort from the sounds nonetheless.

She was sitting at what had become her regular table, a rarity in a place where transient nature of military service seldom allowed for regulars. Despite always being surrounded by new faces, it had quickly become her favorite location to relax during the two months she had spent on Arcturus Station. Early on it had been her refuge when she was finished supervising Jeff's daily rounds of physical therapy. Now, it was a convenient place to wait for her second most difficult patient to return from the day's practical testing of the Normandy's systems.

The vessel had required extensive repair and refit after the battle with Sovereign, and the board of inspection was adamant that all of the repairs receive real world testing before allowing the ship to return to service. Joker had been only too happy to demonstrate what the Normandy was capable of, while demonstrating a camaraderie with General Invectus that did nothing to improve his relationship with Captain Dillard and the rest of the Alliance members of the SR development team.

Karin shook her head at the thought of how Jeff continued to antagonize his Alliance colleagues. At least he seemed to be enjoying himself, which was something she hadn't observed in the pilot since Virmire. Jeff might complain about Dillard and his staff, but at least he had been doing so with a sardonic smile on his face. _'It could be worse,'_ she reflected. His ego had been getting a boost as well. It seemed everyone on the station had found reason to visit the docks at one point or another, either to watch the Normandy's trials or catch a glimpse of the ship's storied pilot.

All of that was fine with Chakwas. With the recent changes of humanity's status on the galactic stage, Arcturus Station was busier than it had been since the First Contact War. The docks being an ever increasing flurry of activity was a beauty for her to behold. Karin had seen no fewer than four old friends among today's arrivals alone. It made her feel good to see so many of the Alliance's finest passing below her. There were young, eager faces, older, more seasoned veterans, and everything in between. She loved them all, and seeing such a number at once reinforced the warm feelings of bond and belonging that had kept her in the Alliance Navy these so many years.

She wouldn't be here much longer, of course. Her omni-tool had alerted her to her new orders just after she awakened, directing that she report to the Normandy the following morning. She had been relieved to see them reiterate her assignment as the ship's chief medical officer. It was a posting she hoped to hold for as long as she was able, and not just because it allowed her to oversee her _first_ most difficult patient.

With difficult patients on her mind, she checked the time. _'Any moment'_ , she thought. Normally an asari vessel would be directed to the civilian docks, but Shepard was never one to do anything normally. The announcement of the Petite'aile's arrival at the station had been nearly a quarter hour ago, and Chakwas knew the commander wouldn't dawdle. She directed her gaze to the throng below.

Picking the commander out of the crowd was about as easy as Karin expected it would be. There were few women of her height and hair color among the mass of people. There were even fewer in the company of an asari maiden. One, to be exact. Liara's distinctive shade of blue made it easy to track the pair even from the opposite side of the crowded thoroughfare. Chakwas finished her tea as she stood up. A wave of her omni-tool paid the check as she left to go meet Shepard as she entered the promenade.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Although keeping a leisurely pace, Karin easily reached the security checkpoint well ahead of the commander. She caught sight of her objective immediately, as Shepard and Liara were conspicuous in the crowd. Deciding there was no risk that she would lose sight of the pair, Chakwas stepped aside from the flood of Alliance soldiers entering the promenade, and waited for the the commander to make it through screening.

The other soldiers were doing a reasonable job of keeping their distance, Karin observed. Whether because of the commander's current notoriety or because Liara was an asari, the doctor didn't know. She would bet on the former however, as she saw no indication of the displeasure that would be obvious on the commander's face if she thought that Liara was being somehow slighted by her Alliance colleagues. The occasional sideways glance slid away quickly once the person in question noticed Liara's security clearance, which the young doctor had prominently affixed to her science jumpsuit.

Instead of the fatigued appearance that had recently become her norm, the commander seemed… rested. Karin couldn't remember the last time Shepard looked like she'd had enough sleep. The commander's face held no worry lines, her back held straight and her shoulders square. She was talking to Liara as she walked, unselfconsciously holding the maiden's hand while carrying both their bags slung over one shoulder. Chakwas shook her head. _'How far we've come,'_ she thought. As far as Chakwas was concerned, getting the two of them to open up about their feelings for each other had been the most difficult part of their mission. Compared to that, defeating Saren was almost easy.

Liara tapped Shepard, interrupting her when she saw Karin. She pointed at the human doctor, prompting a smile and a wave from Shepard as they stepped up to the security checkpoint to be scanned and briefly interviewed. Both women held up their omni-tools in response to the guard's inquiry. _'Orders,'_ Karin assumed. It only made sense. She had received her own orders today. As CO, Shepard's orders had probably been cut a minimum of a day or two earlier, as she would have also received the Normandy's mission orders in addition to her own to report for duty.

The requirements of station security met to the guard's satisfaction, Shepard and Liara stepped through the security perimeter and into the promenade proper. As soon as the crowd carried them to her, Liara embraced Chakwas tightly.

"It is so good to see you Karin," Liara's happiness was clear in her voice. "I'm sorry we did not get to say goodbye before you left for Arcturus."

Chakwas simply shrugged. "The life of a soldier, my dear." She gave her young friend a meaningful look. "You'll learn soon enough, I suspect."

"Doctor Chakwas," greeted Shepard, likely to circumvent the conversation veering too far in the direction of discussing the navy as a career. "Seeing you here tells me that Joker and the Normandy can't be far away."

"Correct Commander," replied Chakwas as she turned to her CO. "The Normandy is due back later this afternoon."

"That's pretty vague," challenged the commander. "I thought Dillard was more of a by the book kind of guy."

"He is Commander," Chakwas nodded her agreement. "The refit was complete last week. This is another inspection cruise."

"Another?" Shepard obviously didn't like the idea of anyone taking 'her' ship out for a spin, no matter their rank.

"It seems that every admiral in the sector has had reason to make port at Arcturus," explained Chakwas with a sarcastic tone. "Just like the civilians, everyone wants an opportunity to get a look at the ship that fired the shot that destroyed Sovereign."

"They better not get used to the privilege," growled Shepard in response even as Liara placed a calming hand on her arm. "Once we're out of here I don't expect to come back for a very long time."

"And we launch…" Chakwas prompted.

"Tomorrow afternoon, hopefully. Mikhailovich sent some rather terse departure orders. I think he's still upset with me." Shepard grinned at the memory. "I get the impression that he'd rather the Normandy be part of the 63rd Flotilla in fact, rather than just in name."

"Jeff tells me the admiral has been aboard the Normandy a great deal during the refit."

"I bet Joker loved that," chuckled Shepard, knowing how much the flight lieutenant loved Alliance brass. "It is fascinating to me how interested the admiral is in the ship that he declared was nothing more than an expensive failure just a handful of months ago." She shook her head. "As much as I hate burning bridges, I think I can safely say that this one's a goner. He didn't even include a personal note with my orders."

"Admirals don't like being told 'no', Commander," pointed out Chakwas dryly. "Not even when you do it politely."

"Hackett and Anderson don't have a problem with my spectre status, I don't know why he does," complained the commander.

Even Liara couldn't let that pass, beating Chakwas to the punch. "Of course you do, Shepard. Your spectre status assists Admiral Hackett, and Counselor Anderson. Whereas,"

Shepard cut her off before she could finish. "I know, I know. All it did for Mikhailovich was cost him the most advanced ship under his command, and if the Navy is true to form, we're all still hitting his budget." She grinned again. "I just thought about that, no wonder he's angry." She shrugged. "There's just not anything I can do about it."

"What are your plans for your last day of leave? I mean that for both of you," Chakwas directed her attention to Liara. "I can only assume that you'll be joining us, even if none of the rest of 'Shepard's Irregulars' will be."

Liara simply nodded with a small smile, as she moved half a step closer to Shepard.

"Oh, I think everyone's going to be joining us Doctor," replied Shepard to Chakwas' second comment first. "Garrus and Tali are on their way from the Citadel, and the Alliance crew should all be mustered in and accounted for well before departure. The only person I haven't heard from is Wrex."

"He's on the station, Commander."

"Oh?"

"Yes, Commander. He drops your name every time he has an altercation with station security."

"Outstanding. Maybe he doesn't need to know that we're here yet." She took a breath, probably to clear her head of the idea of keeping a krogan out of the stockade. "Liara's got an appointment with Hackett. While she's with him I'm going to arrange for everything we need to be taken off the Petite'aile so Eliata and her team can head back to Thessia. After that I'm going to find out if there's any Alliance overnight housing available, or if I should just get us a hotel."

"In that case, I leave you to it, Commander." Chakwas took a step aside to allow the couple passage into the main part of the promenade. "Will you need anything from me?"

"No, but thanks," Shepard replied as she again took Liara's hand. "I'm just counting the minutes until we get out of here." The pair slipped into the crowd as they left Chakwas by the docks.

Karin made her way back towards the stairs, hoping no one had taken her table. She had some time before Jeff would return, and if she wasn't there to intercept him, he'd neglect his evening treatment regimen. Sometimes she wondered of Hippocrates authored his oath simply to provide the self control to deal with patients such as hers.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

"My resources in the Alliance assure me that Liara will accompany Shepard when the Normandy leaves Arcturus."

"Your resources… You mean Anderson. The human counselor. A man who has absolutely no reason to be honest with you." Irissa's scorn was diminished somewhat by the fact that she was represented by a ten centimeter hologram on Tevos' desk.

"Counselor Anderson has been nothing but honorable in his dealings with me for as long as I've known him."

Irissa laughed away the comment. "For as long as you've known him? What's that? A decade? Two? I have shoes older than he is. Humans can't be trusted, especially not humans with power. He'll turn on you as soon as he sees benefit to do so. I have no idea why you are so infatuated with such an obviously inferior race."

"The humans have more potential than you are willing to admit, Chancellor." Tevos deliberately used Irissa's title in an attempt to calm the matriarch. "They were able to fight the turians to a draw, they have proven able to expand and colonize in the Traverse with far more competence than the batarians, and some of their more powerful biotics rival even the abilities of asari."

Irissa rolled her eyes at that last. "More of them die from eezo exposure than ever become biotic. Besides, that makes them more of a threat, not less. The humans continue to militarize. What happens when their fleets are at our doorstep? When they decide to become our conquerors instead of our allies?"

"You mean like during the Battle of the Citadel? When we could have lost the Destiny Ascension and the majority of the Citadel Fleet? If it weren't for Shepard and the humans, the asari military would have been decimated. You know this. Until our fleets are repaired, the humans are the only thing standing between the Citadel and anyone who would see our weakness as an opportunity."

Irissa waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. "They were saving themselves as much as saving you, or are you just so grateful to be alive that you would do anything for the humans?"

Tevos' response was quieter this time. "I am grateful, but the humans had no cause to sacrifice themselves like they did. Shepard's decision was to fight for the greater good."

"You got lucky with Shepard. You know it and I know it, but she was just currying favor for later. If she hadn't saved the Council, do you really think she'd have half the maidens on Thessia following her around with their tongues hanging out? She'd be hiding in Benezia's estate instead of galavanting all over Thessia making speeches." She looked Tevos in the eye. "Maybe it is unfortunate that she saved the Council after all. Shepard has become far too popular for my taste."

Tevos let the insult pass without comment as she met Irissa with a derisive tone of her own. "It could be far worse. She could be doing more with her popularity. Instead, she shows restraint. She could be attempting to incite the populace, but her speeches border on education more than a call to arms."

Irissa's eyes narrowed. "Her speeches are just one of many issues."

"Why? She is doing no harm. Others have tried to raise the alarm before. Shepard is popular yes, but not credible. Not on Thessia. Silencing her will simply cause others to wonder why, and possibly even take up her cause."

"Like the Maiden T'Soni?" Irissa finally jumped to her real target.

"Doctor T'Soni is more circumspect than you give her credit for. She would do nothing to instigate unrest in the Republics without demonstrable proof of her position." Besides, Tevos had other reasons not to fear Liara's next steps.

"But you do nothing to stop her from working to collect such proof."

"As I said, taking action against them would only create reasonable suspicion. She'd been trying to solve the Prothean mystery for nearly sixty years, and she hadn't succeeded until she met Shepard. Even now she lacks the proof she seeks. In any event, she is additionally distracted by Shepard and her agenda. Instead of focusing on research, she works to prepare House T'Soni for invasion. This behavior works against her credibility as well."

"It might be," countered Irissa, "But credible or no, I cannot help but notice that her behavior is enhancing her financial position. To the detriment of more than a few other houses, I might add."

Tevos offered a nod at Irissa's point. "Including yours, I understand. Again, taking direct action will only draw attention to their cause. Better that Liara is seen as a maiden thrust into responsibility she is not ready for, and making irrational decisions because of it. No one will investigate further if they already believe they know the reason for her behavior."

"That's not enough. Her line of research is dangerous. Who knows what Benezia told her before she died?"

"It doesn't matter what Benezia shared, if anything. It only matters what the young doctor can prove. At the moment, that's nothing."

"Inaction is not enough. Even if Benezia kept our secrets, what of the humans? They have their own trove."

"It is highly unlikely that the Alliance would ever invite an asari to Sol 4, Chancellor. Such an event staggers the imagination. Even if they did, Matriarch Sulilta did everything within her power to discredit her. Doctor T'Soni is still not respected by the academic community. She may never be." Tevos herself had seen to that.

Irissa was in no mood for Tevos' reassurance. "She needs to be silenced. Immediately. Permanently."

Tevos' reply was automatic. "No."

"No? Have you forgotten your place Counselor?"

"I have not, Chancellor."

"You can be recalled by the Conclave. A simple vote of no confidence and you'll quickly find yourself just one more matriarch among many." Irissa smiled in victory.

"As you say," Tevos nodded, "But I have been counselor for a long time. What would be the justification behind such an action? More importantly, what would be the public reason? Finally, what might I say if someone were to ask me why I was recalled?"

"You wouldn't dare."

"I've sworn an oath to my people, Chancellor. Are you releasing me from it? Such is your right, but if so, I find myself with a great deal of business to attend to."

The matriarchs stared at each other for a time. Tevos placidly, Irissa practically grinding her teeth in anger. When Irissa finally spoke, Tevos knew that she'd won. This round, at any rate.

"I do not agree with your course of action Counsellor, but I will allow it for now." The Chancellor broke the connection.

' _As if you had a choice,'_ thought Tevos bitterly. She was in too deep. They all were. Their only hope was that a child and a human could overcome all the obstacles they'd placed before them. If they couldn't, Tevos might find herself having to choose between the survival of her society, and of her species.

Perhaps she'd call Hackett again, just to reassure herself. The human's polite deference always made her feel better.

* * *

A/N: Assumptions here include:

FemShep/Liara  
Post ME1 ending - after the Battle of the Citadel, technically before the beginning of ME2 (but not for much longer)

Shepard is:  
Colonist / Vanguard / War Hero

As always, feedback is welcome and desired.


	26. Sever

**Summary:**

Shepard and her crew start the next part of their mission

* * *

Liara wasn't quite tapping her foot as she made notes on her pad. She might have however, had there been an easy way to do so.

Unfortunately, the mildly impatient asari was sitting too awkwardly in her chair to make such an action possible. It was the chair's fault, honestly. The chair was too small. The desk was too small. The goddess cursed _room_ was too small.

The chair in question was practically flush against the wall. The chair's short back and lack of accommodation for an asari crest forced Liara to lean forward in a less than comfortable position. Additionally, the space under the desk was unable to accept her crossed legs, forcing her to draw her legs under the chair, another concession, which left them out of her preferred placement.

She sighed. She was already stiff, the Alliance issue mattress having left her craving her own bed. That monument to comfortable slumber had been left behind on Thessia. Even the bed in her cabin aboard the Petite'aile was far superior to the bed she'd slept on last night. It was difficult to believe how quickly years of being able to sleep on bare ground had been erased by a single month wrapped in the obtrusive luxury of the T'Soni estate. She knew she would adjust once they were back on the Normandy, but she wasn't looking forward to doing so.

Given her own condition, she could hardly believe how quickly and effortlessly Sarah had erupted from bed this morning. The woman had snapped awake as if it were the best sleep she'd had in years. This should not be a surprise, Liara reflected with a smile, as the commander was a young woman of twenty nine.

She paused for a moment to wipe a light layer of condensation from her pad, another mild annoyance. Shepard had left the door to the washroom open, and the bedroom was blasted with steam each time the commander turned the shower on.

That was another thing that Liara had been shocked by as she started her own morning routine. Water on the station was rationed for military personnel, just like it had been on the Normandy. Shepard had leapt in behind her almost immediately when Liara started her shower, reminding her of the strict limit placed on their water allowance. She'd said it with a grin, but behind the smile was a reminder that Sarah didn't want to be the one left unable to rinse once their allotment was reached.

Again, Liara wondered why she hadn't insisted on simply spending their one night on Arcturus in a hotel. Preferably one in the station's small but growing asari quarter, where at least some degree of luxury was practically guaranteed.

She looked up as the washroom door opened fully, revealing Shepard as she stepped into the room wearing a towel and a smile.

"Isn't this great?" The commander took the two steps to the bed, and her open overnight bag. "I've always wanted to draw officer's accommodation when I've been on Arcturus." The smile turned sheepish. "I've just never been able to rationalize needing more than a bunk in the barracks with the other marines."

And _that_ , of course, was why Liara had been so willing to spend the night in a room that might generously be judged to measure eight square meters. Shepard asked for so little, and offered so much in return. When Liara had come back from meeting with Hackett, the commander had already requisitioned a single night in visiting officer's quarters. Unlike Liara, Sarah seemed to view their stay in such as an adventure, a heretofore unknown experience.

Liara brushed all thoughts of discomfort from her mind as she returned her bondmate's smile. "It was certainly convenient, Shepard." The human had grown increasingly happy as their return to the Normandy became imminent. Liara resolved to do nothing that might dampen it.

"I know, right?" Shepard pulled some personal care items from her bag as she dumped the prior days clothing in. "Hackett's office, the mess hall, everything we need is close by." She turned back, returning to the washroom in a wave of coconut, carrying her uniform and brush.

Liara was disappointed that the room contained no mirror outside of the washroom. That meant she would miss the opportunity to watch the commander brush her hair, an activity the asari took no small pleasure in observing.

The maiden originally thought that humans were rather ordinary in their self care. The fact that the Normandy's showers dispensed nothing but pure water, without a hint of scent or softening agent, had originally led her to believe that humans didn't care about such.

It was only when Liara had encountered human women showering in the communal washroom aboard the Normandy that she realized how wrong she had been. Humans had cleansers, conditioners, and moisturizers to rival even the most narcissistic asari. Athame knew Liara had a preference in crest lotion, but some of the women aboard the Normandy had a collection of care products that likely took up the majority of their personal mass allotment.

It was only when Shepard had begun to reciprocate on her initially tentative expressions of interest that such information became relevant to the young scientist. Upon leaving the Citadel after the Saren mission, the requirements of human self care became of particular importance to Liara. The Petite'aile was originally stocked without the needs of humans in mind, and Liara had personally made certain that oversight was corrected before they departed for Mindoir.

Such research had been required! There were so many functions to human care products. Careful observation of Shepard had revealed the human followed a fairly rudimentary personal care regimen. Sarah did demonstrate a preference for particular civilian brands of toothpaste and moisturizer. Unfortunately, she seemed willing to accept whatever body wash, shampoo, and conditioner that was readily available. That meant that the majority of the time she purchased her products from anywhere near where the ship was docked. Such products tended to be harsh in nature, and have artificially floral scents that Liara found unpleasant.

Once she realized that there were multiple possibilities, Liara worked her way through various alternatives in an effort to identify those that were as agreeable to her senses as the scented waters back home. Unsurprisingly, although the salarians has several high quality items, it was the humans who dominated the haircare market.

Liara eventually settled on a well reviewed and accepted, albeit expensive, line of products. After narrowing down her selections even more, she had been unable to decide between 'coconut' and 'vanilla', scented, eventually deciding to purchase selections of both. The fragrances blended well with Shepard's natural scent, without any of the overpoweringly floral overtones present in most of the commander's original répertoire.

The asari had been well pleased with her results on the hair front. Makeup, on the other hand, left her confused and flustered. Sarah seldom bothered with much, and what she did use was never applied in Liara's presence. Shepard's occasional use was not helpful in providing the asari with enough information to allow her to identify what the human might need. She'd eventually thrown her hands up at the idea of keeping Shepard supplied with makeup, or with any other personal product that lacked a near equivalent for asari.

For such an apparently simple species, humans could be more complex than she'd originally realized.

Shepard again emerged from the washroom, this time in her uniform.

"Ready?" She tossed the last of her personal items in her bag before zipping it closed.

"I am, Shepard." After fourteen hours in this claustrophobic room, the Normandy was going to feel positively roomy.

"Perfect," replied Sarah as she picked up both bags. "We can head over to the mess for a late breakfast, and then we'll head to the docks."

Liara again managed to smile.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Shepard had a jaunty bounce to her step.

It wasn't often that Liara was fortunate enough to see the commander struggle to contain her enjoyment.

Shepard cut a dashing figure as the pair walked through the promenade on their way to the docks. Shepard was in her smartly pressed BDUs, Liara with her hand on Shepard's elbow. It seemed to be all that all Shepard could do to maintain her professional demeanor and not greet every passerby with a cheesy grin instead of professional nod.

Liara knew that her presence had something to do with the commander's mood, but the majority of it came from the human's anticipation to being back aboard the Normandy. Mindoir, Thessia, and the Petite'aile had all had had their highlights, but Shepard obviously longed to return to the ship she commanded.

Despite Shepard's notoriety and Liara's companionship, their travel to the docks was an uneventful one. An easy transition through security, and a leisurely walk through the Alliance section of the docking ring, and Shepard and Liara found themselves at the Normandy's berth.

Along with most of the crew.

"Hey Commander." Joker approached Shepard from out of a group of crewmen.

"Joker!" The commander's enthusiasm continued to grow. "What's going on? Why isn't everyone aboard?"

Liara took a step away from the commander as Pressly approached and saluted.

"Orders, Commander. Captain Dillard has a formal change of command ceremony scheduled for sixteen hundred. Only personnel involved with the board of inspection or the refit are permitted aboard until the captain is formally relieved."

"I heard the ship was cleared for service days ago." Shepard looked at Joker even as she posed the question to Pressly. "Is Invectus coming to this little soirée that Dillard put together so everyone knows he commanded the Normandy for a couple of hours?"

"No Ma'am. The admiral is supposed to say a few words."

"Hackett?" Shepard turned back to Pressly for that.

"No Commander, Admiral Mikhailovich," came Pressly's reply.

"Whatever." Shepard rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to spend the afternoon looking at my ship through a window. It's time to get out of here."

She walked up to the lone serviceman posted in front of the gangway to her ship.

"Corporal, stand aside. My crew and I have places to be."

The young man stood his ground. "Apologies Commander, Admiral's orders. No one is allowed to board until the change of command."

Shepard grinned. "Spectre authority, Corporal. That's my ship out there."

Liara watched as several conflicting emotions flicked across the man's face. Obviously the Alliance needed to train its soldiers better about where "spectre" fell in the rank structure - outside and at the top.

"Commander, I don't have the authority…"

"Call whoever you need to, but while you're doing that, we're going to get settled in." She turned back to Pressly. "XO, secure the ship and make ready for departure."

"Aye aye, Ma'am." The lieutenant saluted the commander, and started collecting the rest of the Normandy crew with assistance from Lieutenants Adams and Alenko.

While her crew collected their personal effects and started boarding the Normandy, Shepard moved to join Liara where she was talking to Garrus, Tali, and Wrex.

"C'mon guys, time to go. Someone is eventually going to show up try to keep us from leaving before the ceremony."

There was a moment's awkward silence before Wrex spoke.

"I'm not coming, Shepard."

"What? We need you!"

Wrex replied with a deep chuckle. "No you don't. You've got Blue to take care of you, Tali to take care of the ship, and the three of you might be able to keep Garrus from shooting himself in the foot."

"Wrex…"

"Shepard…" Liara watched as the commander started to lose her patience, but the krogan continued just in time.

"Shepard, you've shown me what a galaxy where the the krogan are valued might look like. A galaxy where the genophage doesn't define us."

"I value you Wrex…" Shepard began.

"I know you do, Shepard. We took down Saren together. A krogan made a difference. I'd forgotten what that was like. It's time for me to show others. Time for me to go back."

When Shepard didn't respond, he continued. "I'm a Krogan Battlemaster Shepard. That used to mean something. It's time that it meant something again."

The commander stepped forward and reached up to put her hand on the krogan's shoulder.

"You're sure Big Guy?"

"Yeah."

"Then I'll come by Tuchanka when we're done in the Terminus." She stepped back as she looked up at the krogan with a gleam in her eye. "But you're going to miss out on killing a lot of geth!"

"They were fun for a while, Shepard. It just got too easy. It's time for something hard." The big krogan turned and left, heading back towards the promenade.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Liara stepped away from the galley, carrying tea for herself and coffee for Shepard. She felt unreasonably pleased with herself, as the commander had deemed her attempts at coffee as "fit for human consumption" a few days before. Honestly, the asari still had no idea how one could tell good coffee from bad. Every brew or blend she'd tried thus far had tasted unpalatably bitter. Her single attempt on Thessia had left the commander choking and gasping. She had no idea what the commander found so appealing about the beverage, or how Denai had not only managed to learn how to brew it to Shepard's liking, but had even started drinking it herself.

It had taken nearly three weeks of testing her attempts on Joker before she'd been confidant enough to again offer coffee to Sarah. She's thanked the pilot for his assistance, but he'd replied that the view was payment enough.

She looked into the coffee cup she carried, wondering again what the pilot had found so appealing about the sight.

Liara placed Shepard's cup to the human's left, in the only space within easy reach of the commander that was free of scattered datapads. Liara confirmed the empty mess with a quick glance before quickly placing a kiss on the top of the human's head. Shepard never even looked up as Liara moved to sit next to her.

Liara took a moment to rearrange her own datapads, sorting between the pads containing data she'd already discounted, and those that might yet hold some relevance.

The crew had grown accustomed to the pair working in the mess. The tables allowed for Shepard's preference to spread her work across an open space, as well as permitted the couple to work together without spending what might be considered an inappropriate amount of time in each other's cabins.

Not that they were fooling anyone. Their relationship was no longer a secret by any reasonable definition of the word, but Shepard insisted on maintaining a display of professionalism and propriety aboard ship.

They'd been at it for hours now, constantly reviewing the data, trying to understand what they might have missed. Liara took a sip of her tea, and gently nudged the commander as she put down her own cup.

Sarah looked up in surprise, and Liara indicated the fresh coffee with a smile and a glance.

The commander flashed a look of gratitude as she reached for her mug, drinking deeply.

"Thanks Liara."

"Have you found anything new?" Liara this time indicating the pile of datapads spread across the table before them.

"Not for lack of trying." Shepard's frustration was obvious. "I don't think there's anything here to find."

Liara nodded, having reached the same conclusion nearly a day earlier. Drawing conclusions from incomplete data was something she'd done her entire career. In this case they'd reached what appeared to be the correct conclusion. They just had nothing to show for it.

"Nothing new anyway," Shepard repeated. "The data's incomplete, but I can't find anything wrong with the analysis. Stallura's team did an amazing job." She offered Liara a smile. "And you were able to dumb it down for the human."

"Shepard," Liara began. "All I did was…"

"Successfully point to a system on the galaxy map where we'd find geth," Shepard finished. "Each and every time. We found geth or proof of geth activity eight times in seven systems."

"But nothing in the last four days," reminded Liara.

"I think nearly four weeks of success earns you a pass," soothed Shepard. "Besides, even I can see the pattern now. The geth _should_ be here, they just aren't."

"Stallura believes their activity is indicative of a search. It appears they are attempting to investigate as many systems as possible using the remainder of their forces."

Shepard nodded. "I read that in the report." She took another sip of coffee. "What we don't know is what they're searching for, or how many forces they have left. We destroyed a lot of geth at the Battle of the Citadel, but we have no idea how many remain on this side of the veil."

"Or if any are massing on the other side of it, ready to invade," added Liara seriously.

"We've been living with that possibility since the Geth War. I'm not going to take the Normandy through the veil unless we absolutely have to. There are just too many unknowns."

"It has been four days, Shepard. If we've lost the trail, what are we going to do now?" Asked Liara.

The commander sat quietly for a moment. "We're in the right place. You're sure of it, I'm sure of it, even Stallura's analysts are sure of it." She paused again. "What if we're early? We're searching for the geth, the geth are searching for… something. We have a stealth drive and they don't. Maybe they're just being cautious and we got here first?"

"So you suggest we wait?" A smile danced at the corners of Liara's lips. "Lieutenant Pressly will be elated with your decision."

"He is getting a little stir crazy, isn't he?" Chuckled the commander. "There are five planets in the Amada system, and who knows how many smallbodies. We give it another day or two, a really deep look. If we don't find anything we start working on the other systems in the cluster."

"Unless they are here, and they're just waiting for us to leave?" Mused Liara. "Even without a stealth drive, a geth ship doesn't need many of the other systems a ship full of organics does. If they're running cold, they could be harder to find."

The commander smiled, and Liara immediately knew it was because she'd said something foolish. Try as she might, her lack of experience in military matters was still evident in discussions regarding strategy and tactics.

"They don't need as many of the systems we do, that's true. But over ninety percent of the heat generated by any ship is going to be generated by the drive core. It doesn't matter if the crew is synthetic or organic." She continued when Liara took a breath to interject. "And they're probably not waiting for us to leave, either. Even though they don't have a stealth drive, we do. There's no way they have any idea where we are."

"And yet they are nowhere to be found." Liara paused for a moment, hesitant to speculate a second time. "Unless they have located what they are looking for? Perhaps they have already departed?"

Shepard shook her head slowly. "Not if they're looking for what I think they are."

Liara's tone turned from uncertain to exasperated. "You know what they are searching for?"

"Maybe?" Shepard responded slowly. She took a long breath before revealing her suspicion. "I think they're looking for the reapers. Maybe not all of them, not if they're truly in dark space. But at least another scout or 'vanguard'. They followed Sovereign through the veil into Citadel Space as if it were nothing. There had to be something in it for them. I think the geth are looking for the reapers, or at least whatever the reapers promised them to buy their allegiance."

"That could explain their behavior," Liara conceded. "But they are not here now."

"No, and we have those three missing ships to worry about as well."

The reminder got Liara's attention. "You believe the missing ships are a related occurrence? That whatever happened to them also happened to the geth?"

"I don't know what to think, Liara. It is possible that the Alliance ships ran into the geth."

"And the geth 'ran into' something else?"

"It makes about as much sense as something else happening to both the geth and the alliance ships." She finished her coffee, putting the mug back in the table in frustration. "There's something I'm missing, some piece to this puzzle that I'm not seeing." She looked to Liara for reassurance. "But I have no idea what it could be."

Liara put her hand on Shepard's arm for reassurance. "Shepard, I…"

Suddenly Joker's voice broke in over ship wide PA, "Brace for evasive maneuvers!" Joker's announcement was immediately followed by a sharp lurch to starboard, too extreme for the inertial dampeners to completely compensate for.

Liara was wide eyed, "Commander!" No 'Shepard', no 'Sarah', not now. Liara had been in battle many times, but always on the ground. The Normandy was home, was safety. Disorientation momentarily froze her in place.

The ship lurched again, this time harder, more violently. She was thrown against the bulkhead, narrowly missed by the chair she'd just vacated. When her eyes refocused it was on Shepard's hand, reaching down to her.

"Get _up_ , Liara! Put on your hardsuit! Get to your station!"

Liara grabbed Shepard's hand as she staggered to her feet. _'Hardsuit. Station.'_ It took a moment for her rattled brain to make sense of the order, to remember her training.

Shepard waited until she nodded in understanding. "Aye aye, Commander." Liara turned and ran to the elevator, Shepard heading to her locker as she sought her own hardsuit.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Liara had been gone less than two minutes, but it felt like hours to the panicked asari. She'd stripped in the elevator on the way to the cargo deck, ran to her locker for her hardsuit, and then put it on as the elevator returned to the crew deck. The pressure drills did what they were supposed to do however, and she was able to tune out the chaos around her as she suited up. She stepped out of the elevator fully encased in her armor, helmet in hand, ready for whatever Shepard needed of her.

Liara rounded the elevator into the crew area. The compartment she'd just left was now filled with roiling smoke. There were several small fires visible. Bare wires hung sparking from the ceiling.

She kneeled by a fallen crewman, checking for a pulse or respiration. Nothing. The lights flickered, urging her forward. _'Goddess be with you,'_ she mouthed silently as she left her fallen colleague behind on her way to the medbay, her duty station.

It was only when the medbay hatch failed to open that she began to wonder how severe the damage actually was, why she'd never heard a call to general quarters, and how badly they'd been hit.

Dr. Chakwas manually released the medbay hatch from the inside. The intense, yet calm demeanor radiated by the human doctor helped soothe Liara's nerves somewhat. "There's no power to the medbay, Liara. There's nothing we can do here."

"What do you need from me?" Liara tried to match Chakwas' composed tone even as she was nervously wringing her hands and shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

Chakwas heard the question behind the question. She put her hand on Liara's shoulder as she met the young asari's gaze. "I'm going to tend to the injured on this deck. Deck one is open to space. Jeff won't leave the cockpit, and anyone else who didn't make it into the pods are… lost." She waited until she saw understanding in Liara's eyes. "Go to Shepard, all right? Stay with her." At Liara's nod the doctor brushed past the asari in search of wounded crewmembers.

Liara hesitated for the briefest of moments as she processed. _'Find Shepard, find Shepard.'_ She turned her eyes from the retreating physician's back, and again looked around the compartment.

Shepard was nowhere to be seen.

She moved deeper into the compartment. Shepard's locker was standing open, empty. The commander's hardsuit was gone, her uniform and most of her weapons in a pile on the floor.

Liara stepped around the pile, her pace quickening with every stride. Her destination was the passageway that contained the sleeping pods, life support, and the main computer. From there perhaps she could

 _'Find Shepard,'_ "Shepard!"

Assess the ship's condition, and even determine where the commander was likely most needed.

She coughed as she ran up

"Shepard!"

the stairs and into the passageway.

Almost immediately she could discern a form in front of the

"Shepard!"

console of the main computer. The commander was activating the distress buoy as Liara came up being her, calling 'Shepard!' one last time as the human put on her helmet.

"The distress beacon is ready for launch," said the commander, Shepard's motion reminding Liara to put on her own helmet.

"Will the Alliance get here in time?" Liara wondered, not for the first time, why the Normandy didn't carry a _Council_ distress buoy as well. Although the Alliance had demonstrated fewer misgivings than other races about demonstrations of force in the Terminus, it was likely that an asari or turian ship was closer than any Alliance vessel.

Liara was yanked back to the moment as the ship lurched again, causing her to stumble forward into Shepard's arms.

The commander steadied her before reaching for a fire suppressor. "The Alliance won't abandon us."

Liara focused on the steel in commander's voice even as she caught the suppressor that the commander turned and tossed her.

"We just need to hold on. Get everyone into the escape pods."

Not everyone was going to make it to their escape pod, Liara knew. "Joker's still in the cockpit, he won't evacuate." She turned to give the commander a meaningful glance that was invisible through her helmet. "I'm not leaving either."

Shepard came over and pulled the fire suppressor out of Liara's hands. "I need you to get the crew into the escape pods. I'll take care of Joker." The commander started down the corridor.

Liara watched as the human walked away. Her feet were rooted to the deck. Her arms loose at her sides. "Shepard…" _'Shepard, don't leave.'_

Shepard looked over her shoulder one last time. "Liara go! Now!"

"Aye, aye." She turned and ran.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Liara ran with everything she had, stopping in front of one of the few remaining pods.

She spun at the entrance, turning to call to those behind her. "Everybody in! Go, go, go!" Her suit speakers added some needed volume to her voice even if it did nothing for the fear she could hear in her tone.

Dr. Chakwas made it safely aboard the pod Liara had stationed herself in front of, causing Liara to sigh in relief. Two additional crewmen followed the doctor into the pod before another explosion killed a third. The explosion effectively blocked the path of any other crew who might still be trying to reach the evacuation station, as well as prevented Liara from being able to search for other survivors.

Reluctantly Liara entered the pod herself, lamenting the unfilled seats. The hatch slammed shut as she pulled the restraint bar down over herself. Seconds later the force of the ejection slammed her sideways, the pod being far too small for a mass effect core, and a corresponding inertial dampening system.

Liara was counting the seconds, waiting to hear Shepard's voice. The commander would rescue Joker, Liara knew she would. Shepard never failed at anything. Even if she ended up having to throw the pilot over her shoulder, she'd get them both into the escape pod behind the cockpit.

The asari shook her head. She recognized that she wasn't thinking clearly yet, still operating under her body's reaction to stress, fear, and anxiety. Despite that, she was unable to come up with a reason that Shepard had needed to collect Joker at all. _Why_ had the man not obeyed the evacuation order? More importantly, what was taking Sheaprd so long?

She looked around the pod, trying to distract herself for a moment. Chakwas was holding a bandage to the forehead of the man next to her, but his wound seemed superficial. Two seats taken opposite her, with a crewman seated on her left and right. Five survivors then, in a pod meant for eight.

She turned on her external speaker. "Is everyone all right?" Four nods in response. Good. She gave a human style thumbs up in acknowledgement. Shepard would have wanted her to take control, to maintain control. Would have wanted her to focus on the survivors, not on those left behind. Well, for now at any rate. If anything, Shepard would likely need her help later, when she tried to come to terms with those they'd lost. The commander still wasn't over losing Ashley. This was going to tear her apart.

The quick assessment helped get her mind off the group's predicament. Their attackers didn't seem interested the escape pods. That meant they were probably safe for the moment. Not that she could do much about it if they weren't. The pods had minimal maneuverability, and a distress signal that couldn't be deactivated. They were in no position to run or hide if the mystery cruiser decided to finish them off.

Thoughts of the enemy cruiser snapped her disoriented mind back to Shepard. The mystery ship continued to circle back, taking random shots at the Normandy as it passed. Still no signal from the lone unlaunched escape pod, the one on the bridge. Liara tried not to focus on what that meant, that likely no one on the bridge or CIC had been alive to use it.

One more pass of the cruiser. Firing. Severing the cockpit from the rest of the ship. Liara was on the verge of crying out when miraculously, the final pod's distress signal went active. Liara sank into her seat, practically sobbing in relief.

Then Shepard's hardsuit beacon activated as well.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

It took a moment for Liara to realize what the additional signal was, what it _meant_.

The beacon's activation indicated that Shepard's hardsuit was exposed to vacuum. Something had happened. The pod must have been breached, or its life support system had failed.

 _'Poor Joker,'_ she thought. At least Shepard had seen to her own pressure status. Just like Liara would be the only one to survive a pressure integrity issue on her own pod, Shepard would be the only survivor on hers. _'Poor Shepard,'_ was the next thought to enter her mind. For the commander to have to watch Joker decompress… it would be a horrible experience.

Liara was overcome with the desire to help, to comfort. She did the only thing she could think of, and that was try to reach out to Sarah. The link between them was stronger than many, she knew. She'd heard the occasional comment back at the estate. Saw the looks when Shepard would anticipate her mood, or finish one of her sentences. They'd melded just this morning. Shepard's _essence_ , her _uniqueness_ , was still strong in her mind, and Liara reached out for it.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Her vision went black as the pod and her companions faded from view. She opened her mind's eye, expecting the vistas of Shepard's mind. The familiar surroundings were distorted, muted. Liara pushed harder, thinking the distance was the problem.

Something was wrong. The connection was there, but she couldn't sense Sarah. Colors were greyed, sounds were muffled. Was Shepard… asleep? Liara refused to allow her self to see another alternative.

She turned, looking around her in the altered landscape.

Familiar sights pushed forward. Shepard on Mindoir, meeting with Maître Marchand. The human's proud smile at their victory. Another moment, Sarah in bed with her, touching her, complimenting her, holding her after an eventful day.

She was blown back into her seat as if struck. She put her hand to her helmet, shocked by the sharp pain in her head. The pain was receding quickly. Perhaps it wasn't hers? She reached out tentatively to find that their connection was still active.

 _*Shepard?*_

 _'Liara…'_ Faint, as if from a great distance.

Liara dove in again, more deeply this time. Shepard was there and she needed her help.

Again she faced the strangely altered landscape, but this time the memories were different.

They were still on Mindoir, and this time she could see herself through Shepard's eyes. Nothing unusual there, this was a common occurrence in the meld. One, she didn't mind admitting to herself, that usually left her with a fairly significant bump in her self esteem.

This time was different. Again, the colors were muted, but Shepard seemed to be clinging to her image with a peculiar intensity. They were at the party before leaving for Thessia. She was telling Shepard to go clean up, but this time Shepard wouldn't go. She stood there, unwilling to leave, rooted to the spot as if terrified. Her perspective changed and she could _see_ Sarah. Her eyes were wide, panic obvious in her demeanor. Liara reached out to brush the dirt from the human's face…

This time she was hurled forward against her restraint. The pain had been stronger this time, but it had definitely come from Shepard. Liara felt it across the link like a spike driven into her flesh, or an electric shock. The pain was all encompassing.

Something was horribly wrong.

For the third time she strengthened their joining, and this time she could sense the human, actually feel her, not just the memories.

 _*Shepard?*_ Less tentatively than last time.

She could hear Sarah's thoughts, even though they weren't directed at her.

 _'At least I won't die choking.'_ The words weren't clear, as if Shepard were drunk or otherwise slightly incoherent. She caught other words like _'hyperventilate'_ , _'nitrogen'_ , and _'cortical stimulation'_ , but nothing that seemed to form a coherent sentence.

Abruptly Shepard seemed to become aware of her presence. Finally! She saw her own pod in the distance through Shepard's eyes.

Wait.

Shepard could _see_ her pod?

Oh no.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

 _*Nonononononononononono*_

This time Liara held nothing back, throwing everything she could across the link, into their connection. She dove as deeply into the human's mind as she could.

 _'Liara…'_ Shepard's response was languid, sluggish.

 _*Shepard, listen to me. You have to tell me what's wrong.*_

 _'Liara…'_ Not really a response. More of a mantra now.

 _*Shepard.*_ Liara's tone allowed for nothing but obedience. _*I'm going to help you, but I need to know what to do.*_

 _'1. 2. 3. 4.'_ Came the ominous answer.

 _*Shepard!*_ Liara screamed across the link.

That seemed to generate a response, at least. Wordlessly Shepard reached out to her, held her essence, consoled it.

 _*Shepard, no.*_ Sobbing now, Liara could feel what was coming, knew what the effort was costing the commander.

Liara was suddenly overwhelmed with Shepard's love. Sarah cherished her to a level that the young asari wouldn't have believed possible. Liara could feel the raw emotion pouring from the commander. The adoration, the affection, the idolization. Every bit of it directed to Liara, while maintaining a wall between her and the majority of the pain the human was enduring.

When Shepard knew that Liara had received all the comfort she could offer, she started drawing back, leaving Liara alone in her own mind.

 _*No!*_ Desperate again, Liara dove further into the link, even as it began to unravel.

 _*Shepard!*_ She could feel Sarah pulling away from her, faster than she could follow.

 _*Sarah!*_ Now she could feel the human's mind beginning to shut down around her. Higher consciousness already disintegrating, she began to feel the failure of Shepard's autonomous functions in her own body as she choked and seized.

She was entirely unaware of her podmates panicking around her, as they tried to understand what was happening, what was wrong,

It didn't matter. She maintained the meld even when there was nothing left to connect to. She cast about, desperately seeking any remnant of the commander. A feeling, a memory, anything.

She left almost nothing of herself in her body as she pushed herself further into the unknown. Her bondmate (truly her bondmate, she knew that now) had to be out there, and she would find her.

A shout brought her back to the pod against her will. Her helmet off, she found herself staring into the eyes of a concerned Dr. Chakwas.

But Chakwas wasn't the human she sought, the human she needed. She pulled her face away from the doctor's hands, as she thrashed against the locked restraint.

Shepard was out there, somewhere. She would find her. Find her bondmate, find the more important half of herself.

She would search until her own final breath. Until there was nothing left of her to do so. She would hunt for Shepard until she found her, saved her. She knew it was hopeless, but she didn't care, didn't stop. The search was all she knew, all she was.

Shepard would return to her, hale and whole. She had to. The search could end no other way.

Until it did. The last of the young scientist's efforts ended under the influence of Chakwas' drugs.

Liara would be reeled in, returned to companions and colleagues. She would be delivered to the care of friends and family, to recover and heal.

But of her own sanity, she would find only fragments.

* * *

 **Notes:**

And so ends Fragments, 22 months and 140,000 words later (much longer than I intended by either measure).

Yes, I've known the final word of this chapter for two and a half years (since Obligations). It's been a painful wait!

Fragments is by far the longest segment of the Cari'ssi'mi saga, which is now a little under 285,000 words in both series.

For those confused by the ending, this was Liara's POV for the equivalent scenes at the end of chapters 19, 20, 22, and "Heartbeat" in "Cari'ssi'mi Drabbles". That means that from Shepard's POV what we've been seeing are her flashbacks as she suffocates since Chapter 19. "Secrets" in "Cari'ssi'mi Drabbles" is a tie-in to this chapter as well.

Cari'ssi'mi continues in "Asunder"

* * *

Assumptions here include:

FemShep/Liara  
Post ME1 ending - after the Battle of the Citadel, technically before the beginning of ME2 (but not for much longer)

Shepard is:  
Colonist / Vanguard / War Hero

As always, feedback is welcome and desired.


End file.
